Chapter Six—All the Fun of the Fair
Jeff regained consciousness, finding himself lying spreadeagled on a ground composed of compacted dirt and gravel, strewn all about with discarded potato chip bags, candy wrappers and crumpled soft drinks cans. The air was cold—stray flakes of snow began to drift down around him as he slowly got to his feet. He appeared to be in a disused fairground, shrouded in a darkness relieved only by a few twinkling bulbs strung haphazardly around the rides. The area was modest in size, about the dimensions of a baseball diamond, with dilapidated painted clapboard sidings defining its boundaries. The space was cluttered with all of the things you would expect at a fair—a rusting ferris wheel on one side, a gravitron on the other, a hall of mirrors, a haunted house, and a softly glowing arcade filled with retro video games. A magic teacup ride completed the ensemble. Jeff slowly got to his feet and looked around warily.
A grinding noise sounded from the teacups as they suddenly lurched into movement, their bearings partially fused.
Another disturbance across the fairground got Jeff’s attention. He could just make out six figures slowly moving in his direction. As they drew closer, the sound of a revving engine cut through the clatter of the rusty ride. Squinting through the poorly lit gloom, Jeff began to make out more details. Six peculiar characters slowly shambled towards him, one of them twirling a gas powered chainsaw in the air, round and round—the cause of the racket. A glowing yellow nimbus, the same color as the system dialogs, hovered over their heads, indicating more information was available.
Receiving no response to his continued objections from Misty, Jeff squared his shoulders and prepared for combat. He focused on the central figure of the group and selected [Identify].
NAME: Leetus Nakraz
RACE: Goblin, Grade J
HIT POINTS (HP): 30/30 +10
MANA POINTS (MP): 10/10
REWARD: 10 Coins
Goblin? More information was available when he focused on the creature’s race.
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dungeon Denizens, or CHUDDs for short. This sub-species of goblin is extremely territorial in nature, and tend to hunt in packs. These troglodytic, inbred mutants are infamous for their cruelty, and have been known to torture their prey for weeks before murdering and consuming their flesh.
Yikes, that’s disturbing, Jeff thought as he read the description. There was no mention of Classes, Paths, Skills or a breakdown of the creature’s Attributes in its info panel, so Jeff assumed that this wasn’t information made available by the System.
Jeff’s heart beat loudly in his chest and his hands began to shake, a combination of the low temperature and nerves. He studied the goblins more closely. As the group came into view, he was overcome once again with the feeling he was trapped in some kind of drug-induced nightmare. The creatures were bipedal, up to his shoulder in height, with features so exaggerated they were almost cartoon-like. Their greenish, dirt encrusted skin sported bad tattoos, and they were clothed in a wild variety of ill-fitting clothing, from muddy farm-wear to leather biker gear.
With grotesque and misshapen bodies, hunched postures and uneven strides, they reminded Jeff of a group of fentanyl addicts he had once seen walking down a street in San Francisco. Despite their uneven gait, the pack still managed to move forward with a clumsy, unsettling determination. As they shambled closer, Jeff was able to make out more details—their gaping mouths revealing rows of razor sharp fangs, and their knobbly fingers ending in vicious black talons.
They were a strange mashup of standard fantasy-genre goblins and stereotypical hillbilly rednecks—the bizarreness of the spectacle heightened even more by the dimly lit carnival background through which the the group marched.
Jeff recalled Misty’s words earlier—how his System-generated opponents in the training stages would be based on Earth’s culture, drawn from some sort of racial collective unconscious, as well as his own memories and social media feeds. He guessed that these distorted caricatures were supposed to resemble, in some way, the backwoodsmen he had lived amongst in his youth, deep in the remote mountains of North Carolina.
Huh. Green skinned rednecks… Jeff thought to himself as the pack of goblins approached.
The chainsaw-wielding goblin in the center of the pack was particularly disturbing. Its face was obscured by a human-leather mask—patches of skin crudely stitched together from several different victims, judging by the varying tones. Behind the rough eye holes, two glowing red orbs blazed malevolently, promising nothing but malicious intent.
Two smaller goblins lumbered ahead of the group, slack jawed and bleary eyed, yipping and babbling in high pitched voices, their matching mesh trucker hats sat precariously atop their pointy ears.
The revving of the chainsaw echoed hollowly behind them, its discordant rumble jarring against the grinding din of the teacup ride.
Disconcertingly, to add to the general noise level, the traditional folk song, ‘House of the Rising Sun’ suddenly blasted out from the Gravitron, the sound distorted as if through bad speakers.
🎵There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun 🎵
Startled briefly by the music, Jeff looked around wildly, momentarily distracted from the encroaching threat. Then, remembering his newly acquired Skills, he fished his pocket knife out and leveled it at the two rapidly approaching goblins. He activated [Infinite Sword].
This time, as well as hearing the sound of blades whooshing through the air, he saw an immediate effect, albeit at a relatively short range.
You have cast Infinite Sword
You have struck a Grade J Goblin with your Infinite Sword skill
You have injured a Grade J goblin
You have struck a Grade J Goblin with your Infinite Sword skill
You have injured a Grade J goblin
Your Offense Attribute has risen by 1
While the four goblins bringing up the rear were unaffected by the Skill, multiple small wounds appeared across the bodies of the two closest monsters, as though they had been lashed by an invisible whip.
By chance, the shoulder straps holding up the bib overalls of the rightmost attacker were cut through, causing his pants to fall down around his ankles and trip him. It lay on the dusty, trash strewn floor, struggling to disentangle itself, temporarily immobilized.
“You cut me…” moaned the other, blood dripping from shallow wounds on its torso and arms. A glowing Health bar had appeared directly over the goblin, revealing its HP had been reduced by 30% as a result of the Skill-based attack. Roaring in rage, the injured creature charged at full speed towards Jeff, its grubby trucker hat flying off as it approached.
Firming his shoulders in readiness, Jeff decided to try out [Cutting Edge] for the first time. He waited until the goblin was right upon him and then mentally activated the Skill, while holding the knife in a reverse grip and slicing downwards. The blade crashed point first onto the top of the bald, pockmarked head of the approaching figure.
🎵 Go tell my baby sister
Never do like I have done 🎵
“Get some, you scabby freak!” Jeff shouted, anger and frustration with his general situation adding extra power to the thrust—the pent up resentment and righteous indignation bubbling away at the back of his consciousness finally finding an outlet.
The result was spectacular; he was both amazed and horrified when the little knife sliced vertically all the way through the goblin’s skull and face with no resistance - the creature’s head and neck were completely split down the middle, providing an anatomical cross-section view of its brain.
You have struck a Grade J Goblin with your Cutting Edge Skill
You have critically injured your target
Jeff was rewarded with a tinkling, ringing sound, reminiscent of the payout noise an electronic slot machine makes when you hit the jackpot. In the corner of his vision a cascade of stylized golden coins rained down.
Jeff was momentarily distracted from the encroaching threat of the remaining goblins by the gory spectacle of the partially bisected corpse. To make matters worse, his vision was partially obscured by an annoying System dialog congratulating him on his victory.
You have successfully used a Skill to slay an enemy!
Reward: One Omega Energy Point
You have Successfully Killed a Grade J Goblin
Reward: Two Omega Energy Points, 10 Coins
Level up!
Congratulations. You have reached Level 2
You have successfully used your Cutting Edge Skill to slay an enemy!
Reward: One Omega Energy Point, 10 Coins
Your Offense Attribute has risen by 1
As soon as Jeff made the kill, he felt it—an invigorating surge of warmth, a confidence-boosting rush of energy flooding his body. He guessed this was the Omega Energy flowing into him. Distracted by the unfamiliar sensation and the deluge of System-generated messages obscuring his vision, Jeff failed to notice the chainsaw wielding CHUDD bearing down on him. Almost too late, he recovered and grappled with the creature, nearly tripping over a discarded pizza box on the floor. Regaining his balance, he barely managed to prevent the goblin from bringing the spinning blades of the saw down on him.
You have evaded a Goblin’s attack
Your Strength Attribute has risen by 1
Meanwhile, Leetus had flanked him, approaching from the other side and latched on to him with a bear hug. Lowering its head, it hissed in Jeff’s ear, a terrible stench emanating from its gaping, snaggle toothed maw before biting down savagely. It’s viciously sharp fangs sliced through the unprotected flesh of Jeff’s shoulder, inflicting a serious bite wound, from which copious amounts of blood immediately began to flow.
A Grade J Goblin has critically injured you
Jeff, let out an involuntary yell—the pain was so intense his vision whitened and he teetered on the edge of unconsciousness. Through the searing agony of the shoulder wound, his mind fumbled for a solution, desperately trying to recall his childhood martial arts training.
A memory surfaced, vivid and clear, of a particularly grueling training session with his father. They had been sparring for what felt like hours, and Jeff, exhausted, was ready to throw in the towel, resentful of the harsh daily regime his father had imposed.
His father had stood over him, his face bearing a stern, peculiarly intense expression.
“Don’t just lie there, like some quivering, milquetoast soy boy!” he had barked, his voice rough. “Get back up! Never stop pushing forward…everything depends on it.”
There had been a brief, unexpected pause, as if his father was lost in some private reverie. His tone softened, as his gaze grew distant, almost uncertain.
“You’re not like the rest, Jeff. You’re special. You’re a Nostro! …Hell, I’ve tried my best…”
At the time, Jeff had felt a pang of guilt for his whining, forcing himself to rise and push harder. Now, that memory resonated within him strongly, serving as a lifeline.
Summoning his remaining strength he rallied, bending his knees slightly, he pivoted his hips while swinging his elbow back into Leetus’ face, connecting hard. He felt the goblin’s nose break with a satisfying crunch. Pulling forward slightly, he stumbled away, creating some space before turning to deal with the other approaching goblin.
Congratulations!
You have learnt the Skill High Pain Threshold (Level 1)
Taking a gamble on the creatures’ anatomy being comparable to humans, he launched a kick at the approaching chainsaw-wielding goblin, hitting his target directly between the legs. The mob staggered backwards, letting out a high pitched wail—its junk smashed to smithereens—giving Jeff valuable seconds to retreat a safe distance from the rest of the goblin pack.
You have inflicted heavy damage on two Grade J Goblins
Your Defense Attribute has risen by 1
Concentrating for a moment, he managed to banish the annoying system messages from his sight. He was losing blood rapidly, a steady flow pumping out of the wound on his shoulder and streaming down his arm, causing him to almost lose his grip on the now slippery handle of his pocket knife.
🎵I'm going back to New Orleans,
My race is almost run🎵
The goblin he’d injured had recovered quicker than Jeff had hoped and was lumbering towards him. Still holding his knife in a reverse grip, he employed a Systema Spetsnaz knife fighter move, and swung at the wounded but still mobile goblin, simultaneously triggering the [Cutting Edge] Skill… to no effect… Belatedly, Jeff realized that he was completely out of mana.
Jeff followed through with the attack anyway, bringing his arm down in an arc. Even without the Skill enhancement, he managed to inflict a serious wound to the top of the creature’s arm; his enhanced strength cutting through to the bone, causing the creature to drop the chainsaw, which continued to spin wildly, skittering out of control across the trash-strewn fairground floor.
You have struck a Grade J Goblin a glancing blow, dealing 5 damage
Jeff was about to step in to administer a killing blow, but Leetus had risen back to its feet, and was fast approaching. Hissing in fury—its mouth and lower face smeared with blood, its nose a bloody ruin in the center of its snarling face—it staggered towards Jeff, arms outstretched like a ghoul from some awful B-movie.
Jeff again called out desperately, still trying to get Misty’s attention, to no avail.
Giving up on any possibility of exiting the Combat training, Jeff pivoted on the back of his left heel and countered Leetus’ charge with a roundhouse kick, planting his foot in the middle of the goblin’s forehead and knocking it to the ground once again. Not giving the goblin an opportunity to recover, Jeff stepped forward and slashed diagonally down with his blade, inflicting a deep gash through the creature’s neck. The goblin lay still on the floor, bleeding out. Keeping up the momentum, Jeff swung his leg back, striking out with a well placed boot.
The blow from his heavy boot detached the goblin’s head from its body completely. Red baseball cap still attached, the leering head rolled several yards away. Blood spurted furiously from the torso at his feet like a lawn sprinkler, soaking his pants.
Once again the stylized slot machine payout sound rang out and more coins cascaded down the right side of his vision.
Congratulations!
You have learnt the Skill Combat Proficiency (Level 1)
You have killed a Grade J Goblin
Reward: Two Omega Energy Points
Level up!
Congratulations. You have reached Level 3
The other goblin was bending down, struggling to retrieve the still-spinning chainsaw with its remaining good arm. Stepping forward and thrusting from the waist with his knife, Jeff preemptively skewered it neatly through the eyehole of its leather face mask, causing the red light in the other eyehole to flicker and die out.
You have killed a Grade J Goblin
Reward: Two Omega Energy Points
Level up!
Congratulations. You have reached Level 4
Jeff detected a movement at his side and Goblin number four hove into view, lunging at him, claws outstretched. This one seemed to identify as female—wearing nothing but a dirty pink tutu, with faded blue ribbons peeking disconsolately through its matted rat’s nest of hair. The sight incensed Jeff for some reason. What kind of mind-game was the System playing, messing with his head like this?
Its flabby dugs flapping wildly, the she-goblin flew through the air towards him, shrieking. Jeff evaluated the incoming threat and sent his knife hand lashing out, striking the goblin’s arm and tracing a crimson arc from wrist to shoulder—a shallow gash that sent it reeling back, spitting and cursing. Seizing the moment, Jeff advanced, closing in for the kill, unaware that another enemy, sensing an opportunity, had circled behind him. Whack! The encircling goblin lashed out with a bony knuckle, striking him hard on the back of the skull.
Jeff saw stars for a moment, staggering on the spot, vision blurring. Blinking back tears, he shook his head, trying to rouse himself. Spinning around blindly, he stuck his elbow out, hoping to connect. With an audible crack, Jeff’s elbow impacted with the goblin’s forehead, caving the front of its head in. It was dead before it even hit the ground.
Without pausing, Jeff dived at the wounded female goblin, landing a devastating barrage, pummeling the creature mercilessly with his fist whilst stabbing it repeatedly in the guts with the shining blade in his other hand. Lights out.
Combo!
You have killed 2 Grade J Goblins
Reward: Five Omega Energy Points
Your Offense Attribute has risen by 1
Level up!
Congratulations. You have reached Level 5… You have reached Level 6
Jeff stood panting in the center of the fairground, surrounded by the sprawled corpses of his goblin attackers.
His breathing came in ragged gasps and he began to feel the onset of shock—Wincing, he glanced down at his shoulder, where the jagged wound bled freely, a dark red stream dripping steadily down onto the dusty fairground floor.
Groaning in pain, Jeff tore off the damaged sleeve of his shirt, the fabric soaked in blood. Gritting his teeth, he wrapped the bloody length of cloth tightly around the wound, pulling it taut to try to stem the flow.
Assuming the combat training was over, he was just about to relax when a sudden movement from the gravitron caught his eye. With a thunderous crash, a large section of the ride collapsed, its metallic front cover falling forward to reveal another group of six CHUDDs, steadily advancing towards him.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Jeff raged at the air before resignedly turning to face the new threat.
Without conscious thought, Jeff attacked. Adrenaline surged through him, and bellowing in homicidal rage, he charged towards the gaggle of goblins, storming in amongst them and showing no mercy. For some inexplicable reason, the attackers this time were all identically dressed as hobo Santas, their dirty red polyester costumes coordinated with fake white beards.
A red mist descended. Standing amongst the pack, he unleashed a blizzard of strikes and kicks, inflicting some serious damage on the throng before they could begin to mount their own attack.
You have killed a Grade J Goblin
Reward: Two Omega Energy Points
Level up!
Congratulations. You have reached Level 7
Despite the pain of his shoulder wound, and despite the mortal danger he knew he was in, a surge of exhilaration overtook him. Jeff felt somehow energized, adrenaline raced through his body—he felt more alive than he ever had before.
He fell into a fluid, almost choreographed series of movements. Each stab, parry, kick and push seemed to follow naturally. Grappling, lashing out and stabbing like a berserk killer, he attacked. Grabbing one goblin by its long greasy hair, he spun it round to crash into another, entangling them in a confused pile. A well-placed kick was followed by an elbow to the throat of another of the green skinned freaks.
You have killed a Grade J Goblin
Reward: Two Omega Energy Points
Your Offense Attribute has risen by 1
Level up!
Congratulations. You have reached Level 8
No sooner had he cleared the group of goblin Santas than a rumbling sound issued from the entrance to the hall of mirrors. Another horde of goblins emerged, all inexplicably dressed as Japanese schoolgirls, snarling and charging towards him with claws extended.
Jeff had almost anticipated this and again went on the offensive, charging straight into the crumbling structure to confront them, the distorted reflections in the mirrored walls adding horrific detail to the surreal experience.
Within the hall of mirrors, Jeff lost himself to battle. Time seemed to slow down around him as he was surrounded by twisted reflections and shadowy shapes.
Liquid steel ran through his veins— his body was on fire but his mind was coldly calculating, plotting his next move. The little pocket knife in his hand became an extension of his body, a lethal appendage.
System Challenge: Eight becomes One—Break the Chains of Fate
Complete 6 More Tribulations to Rewrite Your Path
(Weapons Warrior) 1/7 Complete
Jeff grinned to himself as he fought, adrenaline pumping. The satisfaction of having passed the first Tribulation of the System Challenge bolstered his confidence.
One goblin charged at him, roaring in anger, a white dagger of some kind raised high. The creature’s bellow subsided into a gurgle as Jeff deftly blocked its strike with one hand, and slashed open its throat with the knife in his other. Blood sprayed across the mirrors as the goblin crumpled to the floor.
The vivid image of the warrior from his Class selection Vision, and the strange rune of power on his forehead, saturated his thoughts. Jeff felt an echo, a clue beginning to emerge at the edge of his consciousness as to the nature and potential of the man’s power. And the power he wielded seemed to call out to him.
You have killed a Grade J Goblin
Reward: Two Omega Energy Points
Your Endurance Attribute has risen by 1
Jeff’s senses heightened, becoming instinctively aware of the location of each and every one of his assailants. His movements gained a cutting precision, and the small blade in his hand took on a new dimension of lethality. With newfound agility, he sliced through the assembled mob like a white-hot knife through the softest of butter—only in this case the butter was a pack of snarling goblins.
A set of claws raked through the air, narrowly missing Jeff’s face. Another goblin, jumping from behind a cracked mirror, landed on his back, attempting to bite down on his already injured shoulder. Jeff, reaching back, stabbing directly into the monster’s ear, piercing its brain with his knife. One dived across the mirrored room and grabbed Jeff around the upper thigh, clinging on, trying to bring him down. A swift upper-cut knocked the creature’s head back like a pez-dispenser—discolored teeth clattered, tinkling across the floor, and the goblin was out for the count.
Level up!
Congratulations. You have reached Level 12
Lips curled back in a feral snarl, Jeff continued to carve a wave of destruction. A cold heat, razor-sharp waves of battle intent seemed to spike outwards, permeating the area around him. His gore soaked knife was still firmly gripped in his hand, the whole arm now soaked in dark red goblin blood. Even his hands had become deadly weapons—his fingernails transformed into talon-like blades, razoring through the flesh and sinew of the remaining enemies.
The goblins seemed to be losing in strength and potency as his strength increased. He grappled with one and was surprised at how easily he held it off compared to those in the first wave.
Level up!
Congratulations. You have reached Level 17
What’s more, towards the end of the fight, Jeff became aware, almost instinctively, of the precise pressure points on the goblins’ bodies that would cause the most damage. Sometimes, a well-placed strike was enough to trigger a lethal delayed effect, a combination of acupressure-inspired blows subtly disrupting their pathways, damaging vital organs and putting them out of action for good.
Congratulations! Your Combat Proficiency Skill has now reached Level 2
You have been awarded a new Sub-Skill: [Unarmed Blade] Level 1
"That’s not a knife”…Your hands are classed as lethal weapons in their own right.
Finally the combat ‘training’ appeared to be over—Jeff stood panting, surveying the fairground, waiting for another wave of attackers, but none came. The floor was strewn with mutilated goblin corpses, blood and gore spattered across the rides and amusements. His exhilaration dissipated, the adrenaline rush slowly fading to be replaced by a feeling of hollowness.
Of the eighteen goblins Jeff had faced in the battle, only one goblin still remained alive. It was from the first wave, the goblin he had immobilized with [Infinite Sword]. The creature was still rolling about on the floor, its legs tangled in its overalls, flopping uselessly.
Jeff stood over it, panting, about to bring the heel of his boot crashing down.
Suddenly he paused, struck by the spectacle before him; the young goblin peering back up at him from its supine position—rendered harmless by its wardrobe malfunction—seemed almost pitiful to Jeff.
Fascinated in spite of himself, Jeff took a moment to study the creature in more detail. His eyes travelled the length of the goblin’s body. The attention to detail was astounding, from the bad mullet hairstyle from which two goblin ears poked forth, down to the crude tattoos covering its torso. The goblin stopped struggling and stared up at Jeff malevolently.
“Leetus was my best friend and you killed him… Im'a gonna get you back for that, you hear?”
Jeff stared down at the goblin in disbelief, still feeling some qualms about killing the creature in cold blood.
“Misty, this… thing seems very realistic to me.” Jeff spoke, without taking his eyes off the struggling goblin. “Does it feel pain?”
No Jeff.
Replied the AI.
Tournament training environments are not as detailed as actual System-generated dungeons, where the denizens are advanced avatars of real-world entities. They are merely simulators of a sort. Mobs generated here are constructs, like in your video games. Think of them as something like non-player characters.
Jeff continued to hesitate, unable to bring himself to kill in cold blood.
We cannot move on to the next stage of the tutorial until all the targets are eliminated.
Jeff reminded himself that he was in a battle for the survival of his entire species. He was somewhat reassured when he took another, deeper look at the creature’s face, noting that the eyes peering back at him were empty, lacking some vital spark—definitely the sign of an NPC.
Strengthening his resolve and stifling any moral misgivings, he repeatedly stomped on the goblin’s snarling face, not stopping until his boots were completed caked in grey, jelly-like brain matter.
You have killed a Grade J Goblin
Reward: Two Omega Energy Points
Reward: 10 Free Attribute Points
Level up!
Congratulations. You have reached Level 18
You have successfully completed your first combat challenge!
Your Strength Attribute Has Risen By 2
Your Speed Attribute Has Risen By 2
Your Vitality Attribute Has Risen By 2
Your Endurance Attribute Has Risen By 2
Your Cognition Attribute Has Risen By 2
Your Offense Attribute Has Risen By 2
Your Defense Attribute Has Risen By 2
As before, coins poured down the right side of Jeff’s vision, and the final strains of the famous folk song faded out.
🎵I'm going to spend the rest of my life,
Beneath that Rising Sun 🎵