Old Journals of a Millennial. Volume 2.

The months of that summer seemed to flow on forever.

2012 was one of the most eventful and impactful years of my life.

Even as I sit and type this intro 12 years later for a silent yet attentive crowd.

Well...okay, 2022 was one for the books.

But we haven't reached the "10 year anniversary" of that journal yet lmao so you all will just have to sit around a bit longer if you want access to the juicy bits inside of that one lol.

We are reaching the halfway point of this old ragged bood, you know?

I would...no, young me would like to thank you all for 17.2K views.

And an additional 7.7K views on the Spanish Readers page.

100-and-something chapters tend to fly by when you are having this much fun!

And you all keep me inspired to keep this weird little tale going.

I won't keep you.

It's starting to get kinda heavy over Journal Land lol.

Let's see what this is about, yeah?

Enjoy. 

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This entry was not dated.

Median Journal #047.5 

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And so I figured it out. 

She told me last night...

"It's for my own good."

She says.

"You deserve to be free."

She says...

"Bullshit."

I say.

But that's life.

I suppose I should have seen this coming...

Of course, it hurts.

So very much.

But it's hard for me to be irritated...mad at her.

"It's for my own good."

But even if it is, what makes her believe that she isn't my own good?

She doesn't believe that. 

That's another thing she said...

I'm trying hard to put it all together.

Trying to see the light in this.

That -in her words-

"Love is blinding you..."

I apparently need to see the bigger picture...

Again, I think she is my bigger picture...

She doesn't think so.

I can't even write clear because I'm so irritated.

Annoyed.

Maybe an ill-founded annoyance...

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After reading the entry I can understand why young me didn't bother to take note of the date.

I was quite...distraught. 

I remember this.

I remember the heavy and foreboding feeling of futility and hopelessness that I felt as I stood in her doorway.

The doorway to that room where we had "made love" so many times behind that door, beneath those sheets, below her blaring music.

We had been slowly withering away as a couple, and I could see and feel it in my soul.

Like a part of me was decaying and chipping away with every passing day. 

And then "Set Fire to the Rain." by Adele came on in my stupid headphones on the way home as I stood on that windy and rainy bus stop...

Thank the Universe that it was raining because I definitely started crying...

Cars sped by staring at me as I stood there numbly waiting for that bus to take me as far from her as my home was.

Lort have merbies.

Heartbreak sucks camel dick lol.

No offense to the camel. 

This was such a crazy low point for me.

I had been kicked out of school for missing too many days, and that was due to me choosing to attend as many doctor appointments and the like as possible with the young lady who I was having a kid with. 

My job was growing increasingly hectic and stressful,

My home life was imbalanced and overly dramatic to the highest degree.

Life was doing what it does best lol.

This was only the start of what was to come with this woman. 

Wild I tell you.

It will be spelled out in future entries here, or it will make it into the next book.

You have my word lbvs.

I will see you all back here soon enough, yeah?

Safe travels folks, and as always:

Stay safe.

 Stay healthy.

 Stay vigilant.

-Redd.