NOVEL NEXT Chapter 39
It had only been a single step - though judging by the utter triumph in Mae's expression, I very well might have just signed my soul away. She closed the rest of the distance between us in an instant and pressed her black lips against mine, as if to silence the objections she knew she'd find there. I could have pushed her away - I could have fought. But I didn't. I just couldn't find the strength.
Throwing her arms around my waist Mae guided me further into the cluster of trees without breaking our kiss, finding a spot she must have known about before she even brought me here that secluded us from the rest of the world. She then pushed me onto my back before straddling me with that same smug look on her face she'd had when she caught me staring at her chest during our sleepover.
"I haven't been able to stop fantasizing about this," she said dreamily. "You can try to deny it, but I know you've enjoyed a fantasy or two of your own about us... haven't you?"
I looked up at her defiantly. Where I got the audacity to do so, I had no idea - she was absolutely correct. With a smirk, Mae took my silence as confirmation and continued.
"Before I let you touch me, you're going to admit it. Tell me how I dirty your mind."
Somehow I'd always known Mae would be like this in the bedroom (or courtyard, as things stood), and my fantasies about her included being dominated just like this. I honestly couldn't tell which one of us wanted it more right now.
"...I have..."
"What was that...? Say it louder."
"Of course I've had fantasies about you, Mae! You're hot as fuck, and the fact that you've never been one to come running just because I call for you has made me want you even more over the years. Hell, I've lusted over you even when you were straight! No... especially when you were straight."
It felt so good to finally admit to these shameful parts of myself in front of her, even if I felt incredibly guilty about them.
"Haaah... haaah..."
Mae threw her hands over her face, panting heavily, before squirming on top of me with a lovesick look in her eyes.
"So this is who my Normie is. The real you. You're so... beautiful..."
Her expression was full of awe, equal parts admiration and desire.
"I must say, I've been dreaming of my bestie saying these sorts of things to me for some time now, but this is far beyond anything even my gutter of a mind could have come up with! Yes, I think you deserve a reward..."
With a complex (perhaps even practised) maneuver Mae reached one arm under her uniform to take off her bra and the other to put my hand on her right breast. I could feel her large nipple hardening under my touch through the fabric of her dress shirt - and it had been plenty hard already. My body started to move on its own as I ran my hand up and down every inch of it, as though unable to believe this was really happening despite the overwhelming evidence of my own senses.
Mae unbuttoned her shirt painfully slowly - clearly getting a thrill out of my breathlessness - until she revealed her milky white skin and beautiful areolas to me once more. This time I didn't hesitate to take her waiting nipple into my mouth, the unfamiliar sensation of her piercing against my tongue heightening both of our pleasure. I ran my free hand all along her every curve, desperately rubbing my sex against hers even through the fabric of our skirts.
"You're so goddamn thirsty for me, aren't you Normie? Go ahead, then. Drink."
Mae pulled down her skirt - and she wasn't wearing anything underneath. She grinned wickedly at my shock before forcing my face down to her soaking wet folds. The scent of her excitement mixed with that heady perfume took me over the edge of desire, and I dived into her with reckless abandon. Mae whispered a constant stream of dirty talk to me as my tongue alternately worked her lips, clit, or darted deep inside of her.
"Deep down we're all just wolves in sheep's clothing, aren't we? Unh~
Sex-crazed fiends pretending by day that we could actually care about anything else... Nnnh~
And you were so good at pretending, Normie... Mmm~
But now look at you! Ahh~
You've got your face buried right between my legs, don't you? God, yesss~
And you're going at it like it's the last time we'll fuck... Ohhh, right there~
But now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt what you really are... Don't you dare stop~
Deep down you're a wolf
Mae's truths, whispered between her moans as they were, spurred me to ever greater heights of desire - She had me completely under her spell. I redoubled my efforts, wanting nothing more than to make her orgasm. My own needy throbbing was in perfect sync with every thrust of her hips as she bucked against me at last.
All I could think of now was my own arousal. Mae's eyes were glazed over completely as she caught her breath, and by some miracle my mind finally returned to me in that moment. Previously an-all consuming need for reciprocation, my arousal was reduced to a dull ache. The fact that it still existed at all made me sick.
I had done the unthinkable.
No matter how zealously Mae claimed she'd consented to this, no matter how clear-cut her desire seemed, this was undoubtedly wrong. The Mae I knew would have shuddered at the thought of a woman's touch, and I had done so much more than that just now.
I got up quickly, taking a few shaky steps backwards. The movement snapped Mae out of her euphoria, but she merely lolled her head to the side.
"Normie, please don't run from this. From me. You need to accept what we've become..."
"I'm so sorry, Mae. I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"
I repeated it over and over... It was all I could do now, the only recourse left when I'd fucked everything up this badly. I was living a nightmare I couldn't wake up from, and a feeling of utter self-loathing spread throughout my entire being. For nothing more than mere lust, I had betrayed my best friend - not the obsessive girl standing in front of me, but the girl-that-was. I had overwritten her entirely. This was no longer Mae - This was the depraved dream that I had sacrificed her for.
Some distant part of my mind responsible for soldiering on no matter what became conscious of the fact that I was about to snap. That partitioned piece of my consciousness took over and walked back towards Mae. With shaky hands I slid her skirt back up her thighs and tried to re-button her shirt as if nothing was wrong. I fumbled over and over.
"Snap out of it!" Mae shouted, clearly annoyed by my unwillingness to accept the truth. "You don't need to be afraid of this! Can't you see that there's no point in fear anymore? This is our reality now, Normie! There is no going back."
My clumsy hands froze at her words.
"Y-you're wrong! I'll fix this! I promise I'll find a way to fix you!"
"...fix me?"
She slapped my hands away.
"You're going to fix me!?"
"I... I didn't mean-"
Mae grabbed my waist, completely in control of my center of gravity. I could no longer run.
"Listen up, bestie. I've accepted what you've done to me. Sooner or later, you'll have to do the same. Save us both the heartache and don't run from this."
"Mae... I can't. I just can't. Let me go."
She simply stared into my eyes, as if it were only a matter of time until I would agree with her. No matter how I squirmed, I couldn't escape.
"I'll never do that to you again..." I sobbed. "I have to free you from this! Let me go, Mae!"
"Is there a problem here?"
A tall, red-haired woman sauntered into view, hands in her pockets.
"Mind your own goddamn business, Raine," Mae snarled.
"This is my business."
I'd never seen Raine glare at someone the way she did at Mae just then - Her golden eyes burned with all the intensity of twin supernovas. Even my unflappable best friend shuddered, hesitantly releasing her grip.
"Fine then, run away. But part of you already knows what I'm saying is the the truth. Once you've finally accepted that there's no way out of this, when you've finally given up all hope of this idealistic redemption of yours, I know you'll come back to me. After all, I'm the only one who can truly appreciate the beautiful nihilist you'll have no choice but to become... And no one else could ever hope to satisfy the wolf within..."
With a sultry wink Mae left the courtyard and headed to the street, not bothering at all with her undone buttons. Raine stood in front of me protectively until she was completely out of sight.
"You were watching me again?" I asked her in a carefully neutral tone. She seemed taken aback at first, but owned up to it quickly.
"Yeah."
"Why?"
She shrugged. I let out a deep breath.
"I can't exactly get mad at you. I've been watching you, too..."
That endearing blush of hers washed over her face like a crimson wave.
"Y-you have...?"
It was better to get this out of the way. I simply refused to keep up the pretense that I was normal anymore.
"It's my fault you've been so interested in me, Raine. Anyone I've ever had my eye on has fallen for me sooner or later. But it's not a natural attraction, far from it... This is going to sound completely insane, but I've psychically implanted the seeds of compulsion in you."
She raised an eyebrow at me, shifting to stand on her toes then back to the balls of her heels as she considered my words.
"Yup, that is insane. 'cause I've had my eye on you way longer than you've had yours on me."
"..."
I definitely hadn't been prepared to hear that. This was going to throw a serious wrench into my theory.
"Are you sure about that? I've liked you since you saved me from that guy at the cafe-"
"I'm sure. Been watchin' you out of the corner of my eye since your freshman year."
"But I... I thought..."
"Though now that you mention it... ever since that day in the cafeteria, I've had a much easier time trackin' you down. Like a sixth sense, almost... God, I'm a certified fuckin' creep, huh? I-I can't promise I'll stop watchin' out for you, but I promise you won't have to see me ever again-"
"Raine, stop. Out of the women who've confessed to me, believe it or not you're actually the one I'm least concerned about. It might be selfish, but I wouldn't mind if you want to spend more time together. Whenever you're with me I feel so... safe."
The taller woman looked down at me fondly.
"...you serious? Well, I ain't about to start arguin'. I'd love to hang more."
But her gaze lingered for a while longer.
"...you're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?" I asked with a lopsided grin.
"Woah! You really are psychic!"
"Not really, it's just written all over your face. Oh. Ohh... You saw Mae and I, didn't you!?"
Raine looked away, clearly guilty but still worked up over what she'd seen. I felt guilty as well.
"Don't you feel disgusted by what I did to her? I changed her, Raine, forced her to be attracted to me... You should hate me-"
Raine leaned down and gently kissed me on the forehead.
"All of that is between you and her. But as for me, you haven't changed a thing. I feel the same way I did when I first laid eyes on you."
I didn't deserve her smile. Tears came to my eyes as I looked up at her. It took everything I had just to be able to stand here and have her care for me like this.
"I can tell you're goin' through a lot right now. I won't push anythin' - hell, I've never felt worthy of you anyway. But I'll be here for you whenever you need me. That's all a screw-up like me has on offer, anyway..."
I thought of what Ves had said about Raine. Right now, it didn't matter what her gang had done or how many mistakes she had made - Raine was here for me when I needed her most, and she felt like a real, genuine friend - not some living fetish I'd sculpted out of the corpse of someone I'd cared about. I leaned into her and poured my heart out for what felt like forever, my tears staining her shirt until her chest was completely damp. I pulled back, embarrassed.
"Gross, sorry about that..."
"Heh, no worries. It's a small price to pay to see you smile again."
"...thank you, Raine. I mean it. Having you at my side means everything to me. If I were alone right now, I don't know what I would-"
"You don't ever have to think about it. I already said I'm here for you whenever you need me."
I laughed at her seriousness. Did she even know what she was saying?
"Yeah? Then, what if I never stopped needing you?"
"Then I'd say that dreams do come-"
Raine suddenly looked up over my shoulder, spotting a flash of long, white hair. Her eyes narrowed into slits.
"Hmm? Did you see something, Raine?"
I tried to turn around to see what she'd been looking at, but her strong arms guided my shoulders towards the school.
"Nah, nothin' at all. I'll see you at lunch later. For now, let's get you back to class..."