Object of Obsession

It was all a dream. It is all a dream. It was all a dream. It is all a dream. It was all a dream. It is all a dream...

---

I awoke with a complete lack of any certainty that I was actually awake. Whatever nightmare I had last night was phantasmagoria, as if I had experienced it on a conceptual plane of existence that I could no longer understand in the waking world...

Or maybe I just desperately wanted yesterday to have been nothing more than a nightmare. But when I checked my phone and saw the excessive number of notifications, I knew that for better or for worse, this was undoubtedly still my reality.

The vast majority were from Mae. I'd go over those last, I decided...

There was one from Myst.

Myst: Hey, Norma! I wanted to confirm something. You and Quin played Raid Fantasy together, right? A few questions about that. What was her character name? What server did you play on, and what was the name of your guild?

I didn't know how that was relevant to her investigation, but hey, she was the professional, not me.

Hi Myst! Her character was called Aether, we played on the Ardenscar Server, and our guild was called Armistice. If you were looking to talk to some of the guildies, try starting with Yreth, he's the guild leader and online more often than not. Hope that helps. Good luck with the case!

I myself hadn't touched Raid Fantasy since dad and Faye had taken me to my new home. I wasn't sure I could handle whatever emotions would come from the constant reminder that Quin and I used to play together almost every night, and that we might never see each other again, let alone go on any more raids together. Not wanting to dwell on it, I directed my attention to the next text.

Raine: hey. not sure when u wanted 2 get 2gether, but if u want 2 meet me by the 4urconvenience store on your street 2night, that'd be cool.

Raine, huh...? Of the girls who had suddenly shown interest in me, Raine had always seemed the most sane. Reserved and cool... those were the impressions I got from her. But was that only because we'd spent so little time together...?

Maybe. But after feeling like a commodity to be fought over by my family last night, I doubted there was much more harm I could do by seeing her again. If anyone could manage to keep their composure around me, it was her, and I could really use a low-key friend right now.

Message: Thanks for the invite Raine! I'm sorry I hadn't followed up with you yet, it's just been a very busy couple of days. I'll definitely be there this evening, and we can figure out the details of our next hangout then!

I knew my parents wouldn't want me loitering in a parking lot at night with a delinquent, but it was just down the street, so I figured I could play it off as a simple trip to the convenience store.

As I scrolled through the nigh endless texts from Mae just to get a sense of their number, I received a thumbs up emoji from Raine, causing me to smile in spite of myself. Regardless of whatever strange things were happening to me, being around Raine always made me feel safe, and I couldn't wait to see her again.

Well, time to work my way through these, I guess...

Mae: I know you said you're not getting out for good behaviour anytime soon, but maybe I can come over to your place? I'd have to sneak out, but it'd be sooooo worth it. What do you think?
Mae: Look, I know that you're the textbook definition of a goody two-shoes, but don't worry so much. If I don't act out every couple of days, mom starts panicking and trying to get me to see a shrink. It's impossible with her! No wonder I turned out to be such a bad girl...
Mae: Hmm... Is that the problem? Are you looking for a girl who's as straight-laced as you are? That's not an easy ask, Normie. Let me think about it...
Mae: Yeah, sorry. You're just gonna have to learn to love bad girls ;)

Then she posted a risque photo of herself with dark makeup that made her eyes pop and so much cleavage that I could see the pink of her areolas and the silver ball of one of her nipple piercings... I stared at it a lot longer than I'd care to admit before moving on.

Mae: Ah, still using that picture, are we? Go ahead, I don't mind...
Mae: Aren't you done yet? There's so much more where that came from, you know. All you have to do is ask ♥
Mae: Okay, now I'm getting worried... Don't tell me you're so pent-up that you passed out from exhaustion already? That won't do, bestie. I have plans for us, and one must have stamina! Don't you worry, though. That's a skill we can work on together...

Mae: Alright, enough messing around. Where you at, hun? It's not cool to ghost your girl like this.
Mae: Seriously, enough with the silent treatment. Am I so unworthy of your time?
Mae: Alright, I see how it is. Two can play at this game.

There was a brief period of about fifteen minutes where her texts had stopped coming, but then...

Mae: ...damn it! God damn it! What did I do wrong?
Mae: Whatever it is I'm sorry, okay!? Just say something already!
Mae: Ah ha! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I get it! I get it now!
Mae: It's a test, right? Don't worry, I won't give up on you, no matter what!
Mae: I'll be waiting so, so patiently for you...
Mae: Whenever you decide I'm worth your time~
Mae: No matter how long it takes~
Mae: I'll be waiting ♥

...wow.

I thought Luna was the most strongly affected, but after all of that, I think I have to admit that I was wrong. It was so hard not to feel responsible for all of this, even if I had never wished for it, exactly. Even despite the dread building in my chest, a sick part of me didn't want her to return to the standoffish girl who only occasionally had time for me. I was disgusted with myself, but no amount of guilt could kill that perverse desire.

This is all my fault, isn't it? I don't know what to do, Mae... I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!!

Unable to deal with myself right now, I threw my phone onto the nightstand and fell back into that same, uncertain dream...

---

When I awoke this time, it was to the sound of singing and the sensation of a hand gently running up and down my back. I blinked away oblivion and turned my head slowly, almost listlessly toward the other person in the room with me - Fes.

"O-oh, you're awake. H-hey, Norma..."

As if he had been doing something naughty, he jerked his hand back to his side and stood up awkwardly. I laughed ruefully, even as I realized I had been crying in my sleep. My defeatist mood from this morning hadn't subsided in the least.

"You were singing for me, weren't you?"

He looked left and right, as if trying to find an escape. Eventually he gave me a small nod, too embarrassed to say anything more.

"...why?"

There was more nihilism in my voice than I intended, but I was feeling extremely undeserving of anyone's love right now. The fact that he may have been compelled to provide that love by some unconscious whim of mine only complicated things. How could I ever trust anyone's intentions again...?

"Uh... sorry. I-I know I'm not that good, but-"

"I didn't say that Fes. I want to know why you bother."

He looked at the floor for a while, eventually sitting on the bed with his feet on the ground, arms stiff at his sides. He couldn't seem to look me in the eyes.

"I can't stand it when you cry. When you're in pain. When you scream for death, night after night..."

When I scream for what now!?

"Hold on, what exactly have I been saying in my sleep?"

"Umm... it's a toss up, really. Either you beg for whatever monsters are in your nightmares to stop hurting you, or you say, "Why can't I die?" in this weird, emotionless voice, over and over again..."

I stared at him, suddenly embarrassed and concerned by my strange nightly rituals.

"And you... you come in here anyway and sing to me though all that, just to try and help me sleep?"

"Haaah... yeah. B-but I'll stop! I-I know it's weird, so-"

I shimmied forward and threw my arms around him. He was shocked at first, but eventually returned the embrace. Whether it was my compulsion at work or out of his own free will, I was beyond grateful.

"Thank you. Thank you, Fes."

"Y-yeah... Any time, Norma."

To my relief he broke off the hug first, perhaps out of embarrassment.

"W-well, if you're up now, I should go. Your dad and my mom are worried about you, since you slept through breakfast and lunch..."

Oh crap! Had it been that long!? I hoped I hadn't kept Raine waiting!

I double checked that I hadn't missed any texts, and to my surprise I had zero notifications. Not that I was complaining. I sent Raine a text.

Norma: I'll be having dinner now. When will you be at the store?

Putting my phone away, I joined Fes and our parents for supper. Ves had a basketball game and wouldn't be there tonight.

"Is everything alright, kiddo?" dad asked, the concern plain on his face.

"Yeah, I just didn't sleep well last night, so I guess I paid for it today."

Faye clicked her tongue.

"Should we get you some sleeping pills, sweetie?"

I considered the idea. If I could ease the twin's strain every night be falling asleep on my own, it would definitely be worth it.

"Yes please, I think that could really help."

An awkward look passed between Faye and dad. They probably knew all about the sleep-talking, the tears, the shaking... I hated making them worry, especially when I couldn't place where exactly that worry came from.

I can't keep doubting everyone's motivations like this, it's just going to drive me mad. But God, is it easier said than done...

After a delicious meal that I devoured ravenously, I checked my new message from Raine.

Raine: there now.

Smiling, I put my phone away, stretching dramatically as I stood up from the table.

"Thanks for supper, it was great! I think what I need now is a good walk. I'm just gonna head to the store, alright?"

"This late, honey?"

I knew dad wouldn't be happy about it, but I stared him down with puppy dog eyes until he relented.

"Alright, just be safe. I'd ask Fes to go with you but he's already back in his room..."

We could hear the muffled sound of a strummed guitar coming from up the stairs.

"It's down the block dad, I'll be fine. Just gonna stretch my legs out and do some laps around the aisles, so don't wait up for me."

"Alright, alright. I love you, kiddo. Have a good night."

"Love you too, dad."

Faye walked over and kissed me on the cheek before grabbing dad's arm and leading him up the stairs with a mischievous grin on her face.

Gross. Good thing I'm getting out of here for a while!

With a skip in my step I opened the door and felt a cool breeze against my skin. My heart was pounding as I realized I would finally be seeing Raine again...