NTR Kousuke

Chapter 7

※ Stutter... A type of developmental disorder where the first words don't come out or words don't flow smoothly. This is inspired by my best friend. It is by no means meant to be discriminatory.

※ This is exactly the side story of Kousuke from my own story of falling for the class rep.

Only the introduction at the start and the ending have been added.

☆ ☆ ☆

I head to my best friend Shou's house.

To talk about the events of the past few days.

That said, nothing particularly unusual happened, right?

Satsuki suddenly dumped me, the next day I was a mess, and yesterday she definitively ended it? The day and situation of being dumped haven't changed, but I want to prove myself to her.

I'm not obsessed, but I want to work hard to prove myself.

It's like a declaration of resolve.

Apparently, Shou has started a part-time job! He says working in food service is tough!

But he's learning a lot! He taught me all sorts of things.

Shou's little brother, Hii-chan, who's 4 years old, keeps peeking into the room.

The talk is over, okay? Come here!

Hii-chan: "Big brother, you've got it tough, huh?"

You get it?! You're so smart... What was I like at this age?

I try to remember...

☆ ☆ ☆

I'm Saitou Kousuke. When I was little, I was told I had a stutter.

What's that? I thought, but in kindergarten, there wasn't anyone else who spoke like me, and I thought, huh? That's weird?

When I got to elementary school, there were more times I had to speak in front of others.

But even if I didn't mean to, a lot of words would come out.

"I-I-I'm Saitou, Kousuke."

They stared at me curiously,

"Why do you say I-I-I'm? That's weird!"

I was shocked,

Even when I asked my mom, she dodged the question.

My older brother said it's just my personality, but in the end, I'm still weird.

By the time I was in first grade, I understood that.

The more I tried to be careful, the worse my stutter got.

My family talked about how it might get better as I grow up.

Apparently, it often improves with growth, but there are also many kids who stay like that for life.

I had come to accept that I wasn't normal.

So, it can't be helped, right? I'd act spoiled with my mom, skip events I didn't like, or say I didn't want to because of my stutter, and most of the time, I'd be excused.

Back then, I was unstable, torn between two feelings.

I'm not normal, so cut me some slack, okay?

Don't treat me like I'm special!

They were contradictory, but both were my true feelings.

I thought about a lot of things in my head, but when I tried to speak, I'd stutter like d-d-d, so I naturally became quiet.

I didn't want people to think I was upset, so I became expressionless.

I'd look at normal kids and think, they're so dumb, or they should think more, looking down on them.

Looking back now, I realize how foolishly mistaken I was, but as a kid, I couldn't name my emotions.

It was jealousy.

By the time I was in second grade, those feelings became sharper, and I started openly looking down on others.

They can speak normally but are so dumb, slow at running, bad at games. I'd criticize them in my head over anything, even if I didn't say it out loud.

But because I had a stutter, I genuinely thought it was because of my stutter, hated it, and resented my classmates who didn't have one.

In short, I blamed everything on my stutter. I have a stutter, but I'm amazing. The bad parts are because of the stutter. They're amazing just because they don't have a stutter! That's how I felt.

I was a pretty nasty brat, huh.

When I got to third grade, there was a class change for the first time.

I didn't need friends anyway, so it didn't matter.

It's just two years of knowing them, right?

But there was one guy who didn't let it be like that.

During lunch break,

?: "Saitou-kun, wanna play basketball?"

What? I shake my head. No.

?: "Oh, too bad. I'll ask again tomorrow, okay?"

Annoying.

But the next day, and the day after that, he kept coming to ask,

?: "Kousuke? You'll play basketball, right?"

(When did he start calling me Kousuke?)

Kousuke: "N-N-No, I won't."

?: "Eh? Then I'll ask again tomorrow, okay?"

A friend of the guy from earlier also speaks to me,

?: "Acchan won't get it with that kind of refusal."

Huh? Three days in a row? Take a hint.

Shou: "Ah, I'm Tachibana Shou. This is Kanzaki Atsuki, Acchan. Once Acchan sets his sights on you, you've got no choice but to join, you know?"

(I know, we're in the same class.)

...In the end, I started playing basketball.

Refusing got too tiring.

But the biggest reason was that I'd never been invited this much before.

Usually, everyone would hear my stutter, approach me out of curiosity, mock me, or obviously act like they didn't care, but Atsuki-kun and Shou-kun were different. They genuinely didn't mind, and that felt comfortable.

I started hanging out with the two of them more often.

My mom was happy, saying they're my friends!

One day,

Atsuki: "Let's go catch stag beetles!"

Shou: "Isn't it still too early in June?"

Kousuke: "..."

And so, we decided to go.

On the way back, since Atsuki-kun was heading in a different direction, it was just me and Shou-kun walking home.

Of course, it was still too early for stag beetles in June, so there weren't any.

Shou: "Kousuke-kun, Acchan's a bit of an idiot, so if you don't speak up, you'll get dragged into stuff. But he listens if it's a majority vote, 2 to 1, you know?"

Kousuke: "..."

Shou: "Well, if you don't want to talk, that's fine. But June is definitely too early for stag beetles."

I got annoyed,

Kousuke: "I-I-It's not that I don't want to talk. I-It's just because I talk like this...!"

Since we're in the same class, Shou-kun knows about my stutter. I thought maybe with these two, I could say something like this.

Shou: "I don't really get the talking thing. But I think it must be tough and frustrating for you, Kousuke-kun, not being able to say what you're thinking. You can talk freely with me or Acchan, you know? Tell us what's on your mind. Sorry for not picking up on it!"

Kousuke: "...Y-Y-You won't laugh?"

Shou: "I won't laugh unless you say something really funny!"

Kousuke: "...I-I-I've got something bothering me."

Shou-kun braces himself to listen.

He nods, urging me to go on.

Kousuke: "D-D-Don't you think me and my mom look super alike?"

Shou: "Bwahahaha!!! You do! You really do! Your features are totally the same!"

Kousuke: "Y-Y-You laughed!"

Shou: "Of course I did!!"

That must be tough, don't worry! or Take your time talking! or You can do it!

I'd heard those kinds of things a lot.

But it was the first time someone said, "It must be hard not being able to say what you're thinking," and it made me really happy.

On the way home that day, maybe because I usually don't talk much, I ended up talking a ton. It was embarrassing.

But I was really, really happy.

Until then, people gave off this vibe of "I don't mind if you talk!" but it never felt calming.

But Shou-kun genuinely didn't care at all. He talked to me normally and listened to me.

Shou: "If anything, I'm the type who's shy and can't talk to people."

That's what he said,

Since that day, I started talking to Shou-kun and Atsuki-kun.

And strangely enough, the more I talked, the less resistance I felt.

I became able to talk quite a bit, and my stutter itself didn't get stuck as much as before. I thought, if it keeps getting better like this, that'd be great.

Around autumn of third grade,

I started hanging out with Shou-kun and Atsuki-kun more. My family is a gamer family, and I'm pretty into games too, but those two are wild boys who love outdoor play.

Atsuki-kun randomly brings friends along, so the group is different every day.

I'm still on the quiet side, but I talk a fair amount.

On the way home after playing that day, the two of us were talking as we headed home. At that moment,

"Kousuke-kun, what's that?"

"...A d-dog? A stray dog?"

Come to think of it, didn't they say at school to be careful because there's a stray dog around? That the animal control people would come to catch it soon, so don't get close?

"Should we avoid getting closer? Maybe change our path?"

"...Y-Yeah, let's do that..."

Trying not to make eye contact with the dog coming toward us, we turned diagonally and veered into a side street.

It was a deserted back alley in a residential area, with a half-constructed drainage ditch running along the road.

Pee-pee

Shou-kun was whistling poorly, trying to avoid looking at the dog,

"Kousuke-kun, the dog's following us..."

"S-Shou-kun, what do we do?"

There's no time to nitpick grammar!

"What should we do? It's pretty big, huh?"

"I-It kinda looks like it's growling?"

Hahaha! Hahaha!

We laughed together while avoiding looking at the dog,

The dog slowly followed us, closing the distance,

There's nothing ahead, and no people around.

The drainage ditch along the road is nearly a meter wide and as deep as our height. The water is about 20 cm deep? A little further, there's a gap in the guardrail.

"Kousuke?"

Somehow, we understood each other, and our intentions clicked!

"Shou?"

We nodded to each other and dashed!

The dog started running fiercely too!

Just a little more!

Is Shou a bit slower?

We jumped over the drainage ditch!

Landed on the other side!

Three steps behind, Shou jumped too! The dog's close!

"Kousuke! Support me!"

Somehow, I understood what he meant. Shou twisted his body mid-jump! Not landing straight, but sideways!

Without a moment's delay, the dog jumped over the drainage ditch too!

I grabbed the side fence and Shou, while Shou, who landed sideways, knocked the dog jumping toward us back into the ditch with a clumsy movement that could barely be called a kick.

The dog fell into the drainage ditch and wandered around for a while, but eventually moved off to find a place to climb out...

We held our breath, watching the dog closely. Even after it left, we couldn't relax for a while and only took a breather long after it was gone.

Haaah—!!

That was scary!

In our worldview, saying you're scared means you're a coward and uncool, but the honest truth slipped out.

Released from the tension, we got super hyped all at once!

That was scary! Why did that dog chase us even though we didn't do anything? We totally communicated with our eyes in that moment!

For some reason, it felt so funny, and we slapped each other's shoulders while laughing hysterically.

I've never run that fast before! Seriously, I want to time how desperate I was!

Ahh! What an intense moment!

Shou: "Kousuke! How did you manage to jump over this drainage ditch?"

Kousuke: "Didn't you signal me to jump, Shou? lol"

Shou: "Well, I thought if we didn't jump here, we couldn't escape. Kousuke, you're fast on your feet. It takes guts to jump first. And I could tell you were ready to support me!"

Kousuke: "My legs are faster, right? So I thought if I got there first, I could help in a pinch. But man, how did you kick that dog? That was brave!"

Shou: "Well, if we couldn't escape, we had to fight back, right? I was desperate too! I had to protect my friend!"

We high-fived while laughing together.

It was nothing special, just getting chased by a stray dog and desperately running away.

Deciding to jump over the drainage ditch required quick judgment.

Jumping over a deep drainage ditch required courage.

Being chased by a stray dog was terrifying.

I understood what it means for a game protagonist to gain experience and level up through various challenges.

But you know, the funniest thing was finding out that both Shou and I were thinking we had to protect each other, and we burst out laughing about it.

Probably, we both thought of ourselves as the older brother.

From that day on, Shou and I stopped holding back with each other.

We don't say it out loud, but I think we're pretty similar.

There are plenty of differences, but somehow, the color of our souls or something like that feels very similar.

I started calling Atsuki just Atsuki too.

Atsuki brings different friends every day. I have a few people I can call friends, but Shou is still special.

I hang out with Shou the most, and his little sister Nozomi often tags along.

I only have an older brother, so the concept of a little sister was a shock!

She's so cute, I end up giving her too many snacks, and Shou scolds me for it.

When we got to fourth grade, Shou got obsessed with warlords. I was into them too, so we talked a ton while playing games like Romance of the Three Kingdoms or Nobunaga's Ambition.

Warlords are cool, right? Shou wrote "warlord" as his future dream and got laughed at.

I didn't laugh. I actually thought it was cool that he could say it out loud.

I want to be a strategist. Isn't that super cool? Though I can't quite say it out loud.

We're in different clubs, but on days off, I always hang out with Shou.

By this time, my stutter had improved a lot.

Unless I was flustered or mentally overwhelmed, I often didn't stutter at all.

My mom cried with joy and said it must be thanks to Shou-kun and Atsuki-kun! I think so too.

Even so, to avoid stuttering, I got into the habit of thinking a bit before speaking.

I don't mean to be expressionless, but because of a childhood habit, I often looked that way.

Since I was expressionless and quiet, for some reason, I got nicknamed "Turtle."

Koishi, who's supposed to be in the same outgoing Atsuki group, teased me with "Turtle! Hey, Turtle!"

Shou completely ignored it. I thought he might get mad, but he just ignored it.

After the teasers left, ignoring them,

Kousuke: "...I'm not a Turtle."

Shou: "Of course you're not! Kousuke! Why! A Turtle! Reacting to it feels like accepting it, and I absolutely hate that, so I ignored it! Kousuke, you act cool, but you're a passionate guy!"

Haha! Since Shou got mad, I ended up feeling calm instead.

Also, what does he mean by "acting cool"?

Am I called Turtle because I'm bad at showing emotions?

Well, as long as Shou and Atsuki understand me, I don't really care.

And then, in fifth grade, there's another class change.

During the last class change, I thought arrogantly, "We've been together for two years, right?" but this time, I really wanted to be with Shou and Atsuki!

If we're together this time, I don't mind if we're not together after this! That's what I prayed for.

It came true! Shou and Atsuki are in the same class as me!

※As I prayed, after this, Shou and I were never in the same class again.

By fifth grade, pretty much everyone knew each other. Even if we were in different classes, in a small neighborhood, if you're in the same grade, you know faces, names, and roughly where people live.

In the new class, there was Reina Kashii, who was famous in our grade.

She's a beautiful girl with slightly light hair down to her shoulders and sharp, distinct features.

She's always the center of everyone's attention.

Known as the prettiest girl in our grade and excelling in both academics and sports? She's reputed to care about everyone.

Some of the boys even call her the "Flawless Girl."

I wasn't interested. I prefer quiet, elegant girls with long black hair...

Well, never mind about me.

For the first time, I was in the same class as her, and I passed by Kashii-san with Shou.

Shou: "So, about Guan Yu... !!!"

Did Shou just do a double take at Kashii-san?!

He even cut off his story about Guan Yu?!

Shou did a double take at Kashii-san, and after seeing her off, his face turned bright red.

(...I think I just witnessed the moment someone falls in love...)

Especially since it's my best friend.

And of all people, it's the most unattainable girl with tons of rivals, the flower on the highest peak?

I think Shou is a great guy. But he's a man with an old-fashioned passion that doesn't appeal to everyone.

I can only hope that a good girl who understands Shou's qualities comes along.

I couldn't help but wish for that.

Around the end of the second semester, Atsuki, who's always at the center of the class, was super popular. So, a group of girls invited him to a Christmas party.

Some girls who wanted to get close to Atsuki asked me, through Kashii-san, to help out and support them.

(Since Shou got the seat next to Kashii-san, he's changed a bit. I'd like to support Shou if I can.)

That's what I was thinking.

Then,

Atsuki: "Kousuke, it seems like Shou likes Kashii-san. Come with us to the Christmas party."

Kousuke: "...Got it."

(So Atsuki noticed too. Well, it's pretty obvious!)

And so, the Christmas party started, and surprisingly, I was bombarded with questions by the girl sitting next to me.

I'm not used to talking to girls, so I stuttered a bit. That girl, Mishima-san, is on the library committee. She's a bit plain but has beautiful long hair, and it made my heart race.

She's in Kashii-san's group, kind of like a side character in the flashy clique.

Mishima: "Kousuke-kun, you're so quiet and mature, aren't you?"

Kousuke: "...Nah. Not really."

Mishima: "Huh? But your expressions are cool and calm... I think you're pretty handsome..."

Kousuke: "...That's not true."

I looked to Shou for help with my eyes, but that jerk understood and ignored me!

Mishima-san smiled and served me food, repeatedly saying she's plain...

Flashy doesn't equal good, right? I told her I think she's calm and beautiful, and she turned bright red. Seeing Mishima-san blush made me turn bright red too.

Around that time, Shou was next to Kashii-san, eating three servings of beef stew? What is he doing?

But then, Kashii-san was smiling more than I'd ever seen, so it seems like things are going well?

During the gift exchange, I got a snow globe from Mishima-san's gift, right? It's a cute Christmas decoration.

Am I too simple? I can't stop thinking about Mishima-san.

In sixth grade, I got super busy with club activities and committees since I was a key member!

In the first semester, Shou became the class president and was struggling, so Atsuki and I helped him out.

By the way, a baby brother was born in Shou's family! It's the first time I've seen a baby up close, and he's super cute! His name is Hikaru, but Shou and his little sister Nozomi call him Hii-chan.

Nozomi was acting out before the baby was born, maybe feeling like her mom was being taken away, but after he was born, she adored him. He's super cute, but apparently, he was born with a heart condition, and Shou looked worried.

As for school, there were events like the sports festival and the school trip, and during the cultural festival and excursion, I exchanged contact info with Mishima-san. We got closer, and everything was going great when sudden news hit.

Atsuki was transferring schools at the end of the second semester...

I (by this time, Shou and I started using 'ore' as our first-person pronoun) was shocked, but seeing Shou so devastated was unbearable.

He'd laugh excessively, then suddenly get depressed. His emotional swings were huge.

For Shou, Atsuki was a hero who affirmed him and changed him.

The trust Shou had in Atsuki was so pure and immense that it made me a little jealous.

On the last day, we did our usual fist bump and added just one word before parting ways. After everyone saw him off, the last ones to leave the spot were me and Shou.

Shou said,

Shou: "I've always just followed behind Acchan. But the next time we meet, I want to be a man who walks beside him."

Kousuke: "...Yeah, that's right."

I love Atsuki too, and I'm really sad.

But as long as Atsuki is around, Shou tends to depend on him.

Maybe this was a necessary parting?

Plus, Atsuki didn't leave us his contact info.

Shou laughed, saying it's possible he deliberately didn't tell us, or he might've just forgotten—both are plausible, haha. True enough.

And just like that, we became junior high students.

Mishima-san and I started dating when we entered junior high.

We kept it a secret from everyone because it's embarrassing.

I couldn't say it out loud, but... I used to stutter a lot as a kid because of my stutter, and it's a complex for me. I'm not that tall either.

Now, if I speak calmly, it doesn't come out, and that's thanks to Shou! I opened up about my issues. Mishima-san was surprised since she didn't know, and she accepted me.

It was the first time I told anyone besides Shou and Atsuki with my own mouth, and I was super nervous.

Mishima-san said she wants to become a girlfriend Kousuke-kun can be proud of, aiming to be a more stylish and beautiful girl in junior high! But I think she's totally fine as she is.

Also, I got scolded for doting on Shou's little sister Nozomi too much. I said I'd be careful, but she's like a little sister to me... that little beast...

I told Shou I'd only confess it to him, and when I did, he was super shocked.

He was overjoyed and looked distant, saying junior high must be different...

Shou: "Well, we grow up a bit, but junior high shouldn't be that different, right? I mean, the group is the same! If anything comes up, let me know!"

Kousuke: "...Of course!"

However, at this point, I couldn't have imagined that Shou's junior high life would be far more tumultuous than mine.

I watch over Shou, thinking of myself as the older brother.

I'm sure Shou also watches over me, thinking of himself as the older brother.

Even today, Shou and I talk endlessly about what happened or what's on our minds, playing games, chatting, and throwing playful jabs at each other, both acting like each other's guardian.

☆ ☆ ☆

...Because Shou was there, I was able to end my twisted days and be saved.

Does Satsuki have someone nearby to help her when something happens?

...Is that something for me to worry about?

Future over the past!

Today, too, I'm hanging out with Shou, chatting or playing old games.

Hii-chan wants to join in, and it's heartwarming.

Once the relaxing weekend ends, of course, the usual school life begins.

...Something's probably going to happen, huh.

I've already sent a preemptive message to an acquaintance, but even so, thinking about the malicious actions that'll likely happen on Monday is just exhausting.

So, what'll happen on Monday?