NTR Kousuke

Chapter 5

I ran into my ex-girlfriend, Mishima Satsuki, this morning, she said more than I expected, and I was left in a daze, taking a later train to school.

Hokushou High School, where we go, is still a relatively new school, with above-average academic standards and a strong focus on sports.

I played baseball in elementary school, table tennis in junior high, and chose basketball in high school.

Well, club activities are just a hobby. It's not like I'm aiming to go pro—if I can enjoy it with my teammates and get in shape, that's enough. ...Though honestly, I'm kind of hoping basketball will help me grow taller...

I also joined a club called the Video Research Society at a friend's request.

It was a special request from my junior high friend, Tanaka.

I'd made a video with Tanaka before, and he got hooked—he's all fired up like, "I wanna make movies! I wanna shoot documentaries!" So he joined the video club, and asked me to help fill the numbers.

Since Satsuki suddenly said all that two days ago and I skipped school yesterday, I haven't told any of my classmates, friends, or people I've gotten to know since starting high school "that story."

Satsuki was embarrassed and said, "Let's keep it a secret, okay?" But both of us had told our close friends that we were dating...

Should I tell them? Or should I not?

I just... can't decide.

...If someone asks me directly, maybe I'll talk about it—just to people I trust.

It's pathetic. But I want someone to hear me out. My messed-up, fragile heart is searching for some kind of answer.

Today, after thinking it over all day yesterday, I still feel grateful to Satsuki.

But the sadness I can't shake, the anger, the jealousy, the disgust, the anxiety—so many feelings bubble up like a hot spring source, one after another, never stopping.

As soon as I got to school, Tanaka came over.

Tanaka: "Kousuke-kun! Are you okay?"

My friend since junior high knows the situation. I tell him I'll explain during lunch and that I'm okay now.

Even my other buddies greet me with rough jokes like, "What's up with you? Skipping school?"

The world keeps turning, completely unaffected by the fact that I was absent.

Just one day off and the class has already moved ahead...

After first period ends, the girl in the seat next to mine talks to me.

Hey, you're probably lost from missing class, right? I'll lend you my notes from yesterday!

The really beautiful girl who sits next to me.

Nagase Aya is a tall, elegant beauty who excels both academically and athletically.

She's in the girls' basketball club and handles general affairs for the student council—a super popular ponytail beauty among the boys.

She's an active girl, and since we're both in the basketball club (though it's split by gender), she talks to me a lot—she's honestly a really nice person.

"...Thanks, Nagase-san."

Nagase: "Hehe, don't mention it! So why were you out yesterday?"

I don't want to talk about it...

"...Well, you know? Stuff?"

Nagase: "Stuff? I don't really get boy stuff, you know? Wait! Don't tell me—you got dumped?!"

She says it playfully with a mischievous smile, but it hits me right in the heart...

"..."

My face clouds over, and I look down.

Nagase: "Wait, wait, wait! No way?! Did I hit a nerve?!"

No way indeed.

"...That was a direct hit to the wound..."

I've had plenty of chances to talk with Nagase-san, and since she went to the same junior high as Mishima Satsuki in the next class over, I'd told her we were dating.

I didn't want to say things weren't going well lately, so I'd kept that vague...

Nagase-san apologized over and over, but it's not like she did anything wrong.

Don't worry about it, okay?

We end up talking for a bit.

What should I do? Nagase-san, what do you think?

Nagase: "No way! That's totally unforgivable! As a girl, that's the worst! Even if your feelings fade and you break up, there's a right way to do it! And with Yamamoto-kun from the same class...?!"

"...Calm down... But thanks."

When someone gets angry on your behalf... Just like Shou did, it makes you feel strong. Warm.

Thank you, Nagase-san.

Nagase: "You should just not worry and move forward, you know? Kousuke-kun, you didn't do anything wrong."

Don't worry and move forward, huh.

I thank her and start copying the notes she lent me.

Her handwriting is just like her—neat and straight.

Lunchtime, Video Research Society.

Tanaka, his friends, and some upperclassmen are crammed into the small room.

Tanaka: "I heard a bit from LINE, but...?"

I pull Tanaka out of the clubroom and head to the courtyard.

I explain everything—what happened two days ago, how Shou showed up, and how I ran into her at the station this morning.

Tanaka: "Seriously...? You two looked so close just the other day! For real?"

I want to believe it's a lie too.

If only this whole three-day stretch ended with a "just kidding, it was all a dream!" punchline...

"...So I'm going to meet her after school."

Tanaka, getting angry, says—

Tanaka: "Kousuke-kun, you should be angrier! Be honest with your feelings! Why are you staying so calm after being beaten up like a punching bag?! Let's tell the other guys from junior high about this!"

Be angrier, huh.

He's probably right, but I just don't have the energy.

I spend half of lunch talking with Tanaka, and the other half hanging out with the video club members in the clubroom.

This small world of friends, with just the right amount of closeness, feels comfortable.

After that, afternoon classes end, and it's after school.

There's still time before I'm supposed to meet Satsuki, so I chat with some friends before heading home.

They're both the same kind of friends.

My classmates aren't exactly best friends or anything, but our relationships aren't shallow either.

You could call them introverts? They're more like "hidden characters"—calm, quiet, and easy to be around.

I briefly explain to the two of them that I had a girlfriend and that she dumped me two days ago.

"What?!" They were super into it, but quickly realized I wasn't in the mood.

They were considerate and listened, nodding along.

That gentle concern made me so happy I nearly cried...

"Kousuke, don't let it get you down, okay? ...Well, I guess you would be down, huh?"

"You've had a girlfriend, so you've got more experience than us... We've got nothing to say..."

Each of them—

You've just gotta find a new love, right?

Don't forget what happened this time. Use it to move forward.

—gave me their advice.

By the way, Shou said, "Do what feels right to you."

On the way home, heading to where I'm supposed to meet Satsuki, I think.

I think back on all the advice I got today.

And I just get more confused.

Do what feels right to you.

Don't worry and move forward.

Be honest with your feelings and get angry!

Find a new love.

Don't forget what happened—use it to move forward.

None of it is wrong, and none of it contradicts the others.

But with so many options, I don't know what to choose.

I remembered how yesterday evening, I just stood frozen at the intersection.