Chapter 17: Other
Moon In-seop’s whereabouts were not well known at the New Light Spring Orphanage. This was due to the efforts of Director Moon Chung-jae, who worked to prevent any sense of discord among the children.
Think about it.
The children who had been sharing meals until recently, discovering that one of their peers was actually a more exceptional being than themselves.
The resulting trouble should not be understood as mere jealousy common during childhood.
An orphanage is a unique space. Here, the concepts of ‘ownership’ and ‘equality’ are even more crucial.
Parents, wealth, affection, protection, freedom…
For children born without these inherent rights, unity requires that they feel equal.
The solidarity of being impoverished forms a strong bond among the children of the orphanage. Once this breaks, the small and narrow society becomes hell.
Director Moon Chung-jae was very well aware of this nature.
He too had once favored a child during his inexperienced youth and faced a tragedy as a result.
Thus, Director Moon Chung-jae handled this issue very carefully. Teacher Bang Jeong-ah, who knew the situation roughly, was not loose-lipped, and fortunately, Moon In-seop himself was not one to boast about his talents.
Hence, without any special measures, both the peace of the New Light Spring Orphanage and Moon In-seop’s secret were maintained.
However, when the orphanage was selected as a filming location for Baekhak Entertainment, Director Moon Chung-jae had to inform everyone.
“I have an announcement to make to all my beloved ones.”
And so, during the Sunday morning service,
when everyone in the orphanage had gathered,
Director Moon Chung-jae announced,
“Broadcast station staff will soon be visiting our orphanage. The reason is…”
Moon In-seop’s true identity was revealed.
At the New Light Spring Orphanage.
EP 2 – Others
Even a single journalist visiting the orphanage would be a major event, so the significance of this occasion didn’t need explaining.
A major corporation’s filming crew was coming to the orphanage. To bring one of the orphans into the spotlight. In response, all the teachers began an urgent faculty meeting. Serious discussions were needed for such a mega event.
And the same went for the orphans.
The New Light Spring Orphanage Emergency Response Committee was convened.
Unlike the recent Ma Ki-hoon incident, this meeting was convened on a positive issue, so many expected a good atmosphere.
But what happened at the committee was…
A ‘coup’.
“You…! How could you…!”
The closest associate of Ma Ki-hoon and leader of the ruling party gang in the orphanage, the bully group, was horrified.
Originally, the leadership of the New Light Spring Orphanage was mostly composed of bullies, a structure exactly like that of ancient Greek civic society. Those with physical power also held political power, protecting society from external threats. It also made it easier for them to suppress any opposition.
But today, the order of power was reversed.
The leader of the orphanage’s main opposition, the model student gang, pushed up his glasses and smiled wickedly.
“Ah, you don’t understand? Having you guys on camera is a disgrace to our orphanage.”
“How can you say such harsh things!”
“The harsh ones are you guys, smoking cigarettes despite being high school students. From now on, we control the orphanage. When the broadcast station arrives, all of you should be out of the orphanage. It’s embarrassing enough just thinking of you guys representing us on the broadcast…”
This brutal verbal assault left the fierce bullies emotionally wounded and protesting.
“That’s too harsh!”
“Hey, you devil!”
However, the model student gang didn’t budge, and the bullies had to rely on their last bastion, Ma Ki-hoon.
“Ki-hoon! You wouldn’t be ashamed of us too, right?”
“Yeah! We’re… family, aren’t we!”
But Ma Ki-hoon shook his head with a look of regret.
“I’m sorry, but on the day of the filming, all of you need to stay out of the orphanage.”
“Where are we supposed to go, you jerk!”
The leader of the model student gang smirked annoyingly.
“Why don’t you just go to a PC café like you always do? Why even ask?”
“But…! We want to be on TV too!”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
Every high school student has a desire to appear on TV or heroically thwart a bank robbery.
But reality is harsh.
“Nope, not possible. The delinquents need to stay out.”
“Damn bastards…”
The bullies glared at Ma Ki-hoon and the model students, particularly at Ma Ki-hoon, who had betrayed them.
“You’re impeached now.”
“We were ready to fight the runaway fam gang for you, brother… This is disappointing.”
However, in the orphanage, where cunning and manipulation were rampant, the weak could not survive.
Ma Ki-hoon, who had been ruling since middle school by overpowering his seniors, skillfully resolved the political division.
“I’ve successfully negotiated with the teachers. We’ve secured a 20 percent increase in our high school allowance.”
“Yeeeaaahh! We believed in you!”
“Ah, damn, Ki-hoon hyung! You’re the best!”
Ma Ki-hoon took a quiet breath. Things would probably be calm for a while, at least until the fact that the middle schoolers’ allowance was cut by 20 percent came to light.
As the image of the New Light Spring Orphanage improves, the lives of its orphans become more prosperous.
More donations come in, they receive better treatment from local school teachers, and it even affects college admissions.
In this sense, how this filming proceeds could significantly impact the lives of the orphans.
Of course, the orphans had no right to interfere in the running of the orphanage, given their minor status in society.
But lack of power doesn’t mean lack of earnestness.
Ma Ki-hoon and the other model students wanted to help improve the orphanage’s image by driving out the bully gang on the day of filming.
For themselves and for the other orphans.
Ma Ki-hoon suddenly thought of the junior and younger sibling who had turned the orphanage upside down.
He knew the kid was precocious, but never imagined a genius worthy of attracting a broadcasting station.
He felt a bit envious, amazed, and also unfamiliar with the idea.
But above all these feelings, he felt a sense of pride.
That was evident from the smile on Ma Ki-hoon’s face.
* * *
The teachers surrounding me were smiling.
Maybe because I was short, being surrounded by them felt like being encircled by giants.
“Aigoo~”
The administrative director pinched my cheek and chuckled. He wasn’t someone I was particularly close to.
“We have a genius in our orphanage! A true genius!”
Soon, reproach came from the other teachers.
“Why are you pinching our genius author’s cheek like that!”
“Right! What if his cheek swells up before he goes on TV!”
Although Director Moon Chung-jae had forbidden favoritism and asked to avoid special treatment, not many teachers adhered to it.
Especially the experienced teachers often called me to the staff room to chat. Asking if I needed anything or if I was uncomfortable.
Rather than genuinely caring for my welfare, it seemed more like an attempt to build a rapport with me. Ironically, Teacher Bang Jeong-ah, who was actually close to me, kept her distance, wary of the looks from others.
Even the notorious teacher, known among the orphans more as ‘that jerk’ than ‘teacher’, complicated my feelings when he showed me a friendly smile.
What exactly is talent?
What is it about talent that changes the way people are treated,
the value they possess?
I felt like I was wearing clothes that didn’t fit me. This wasn’t a result of my efforts but a consequence of having returned back in time.
Was I not just mistakenly considered a monstrous genius author?
Surrounded by the teachers and then returning to my dorm, I soon found myself encircled by my peers.
“Are you really a genius?!”
Unlike the teachers, the reactions of these young kids were more innocent, whether they were well-intentioned or not.
“You published a book, right? Congratulations! That’s great!”
“I’m so jealous. Moon In-seop must be making a lot of money already.”
“It’s okay! I’m going to marry In-seop and live off of him!”
“But you’re a boy.”
“Does it matter?”
My four-person room was swarming with orphans from all school levels. They rummaged through my personal drawer, searching for my manuscripts.
And when they found them, they shouted as if they had discovered ginseng.
“Amazing!”
“Can’t you make a fortune by writing with this?”
“No, it’s meant to be a keepsake.”
“Did In-seop give you a manuscript?”
“That’s not important!”
“Stop being ridiculous, you fool.”
The orphans were overly excited, spouting all sorts of nonsense. Suddenly, my dorm room became the festival ground for many children.
Some kids, with a sullen expression, subtly showed their jealousy, but were quickly called out and playfully teased by others, turning their resentment into laughter. Eventually, they laughed along too.
One kid proudly shared memories with me. It felt like something that happened over ten years ago, but I still remember climbing the mountain with that kid, looking for stag beetles. When I mentioned it, he boasted about it as if it was a great achievement. Of course, the older students teasingly nicknamed him ‘the one who caught stag beetles with Moon In-seop’, suggesting it was his greatest life achievement.
Surprisingly, none of the orphans had read my book.
Considering their limited allowances couldn’t even afford snacks, it was unrealistic to expect them to buy books. Yet, the fact that not a single one had read it was somewhat shocking. It seemed like reading was indeed being neglected by the younger generation.
But then, the kids started pretending they wanted to buy the book or that reading was their hobby. Obviously, their goal was to learn how to write. I happily agreed to teach them, and they cheered as if they had gained the world.
In the midst of this, a kid who had recently been told by me that he was better suited for studying than soccer, sneaked up to me.
He glanced around cautiously and then whispered in my ear.
“Um… was what you said about me being better at studying than soccer true? Do you think I could be good at it?”
I had encouraged this kid to study because in the future, he regretted not doing so and complained with tears.
But I mixed in a little lie for motivation.
“I guarantee it. Your talent is equal to, or even greater than mine.”
“!!!”
The kid looked around nervously as if it would be a disaster if anyone overheard our conversation.
He seemed thrilled as if he had received a prophecy of immense importance and promised to give studying a try.
“I’ll trust you…!”
And with that, he hurried off to the study room to start immediately.
Watching his retreating figure, I couldn’t help but smile contentedly.
“Hehe…”
Yes.
I need to gain influence, even in ways like this. It seems the right thing to do.
I might not dedicate my entire life to helping these kids, but I should offer as much help as necessary when needed.
To freely act in this young, underage body, securing a certain social status seems appropriate.
It would probably make writing more comfortable.
‘Filming… I need to do my best.’
That night, I fell asleep with that resolve.
* * *
“Remember this. Cool, chic, and adorably cute.”
“Excuse me?”
“That’s the concept you need to maintain during this shoot. Repeat after me. Cool, chic, cutely cute.”
I really wanted to bail on the shooting. Suddenly, I craved a cigarette. But since I needed to make a living, I reluctantly mimicked Lim Yang-wook’s words with a grimace.
“Cool… chic… cutely… what?”
“Cute.”
“What does ‘cutely cute’ even mean?”
“I don’t know. Just think of it as something casually cute.”
So, what exactly is this ‘cutely cute’? But Lim Yang-wook dismissively ignored my question and continued explaining.
“Ahem! This broadcast targets the general public. It’s not an internal literary promotion but an external one. You get what I mean?”
“Baekhak Cultural Broadcasting, or BMB, is a cable channel, so that’s obvious.”
“Exactly!”
Snap! Lim Yang-wook snapped his fingers.
“And most of those viewers probably aren’t interested in books. That’s the way the world is these days.”
The conclusion was this.
“So, we have to play up the character! That’s what people want. A young, smart genius on air showing something incredibly genius-like, making the audience marvel. And if that genius occasionally acts clumsy or cute in a way that’s fitting for their age, the audience will love it even more. It’s the fascination that comes from the gap, you know?”
“The world of show business is harsh.”
Lim Yang-wook laughed awkwardly.
“Actually, it’s not my idea. The PD said so. Anyway, that’s the concept for this shoot. What did I tell you earlier?” (PD = Program director)
“Cool, chic, cutely cute.”
“Right! Just remember that!”
On the day of the shoot, I was handed over to the coordinators for basic TV makeup. I had grown accustomed to people treating me like a fascinating monkey, so it wasn’t too uncomfortable.
The shooting started in an instant.
I had no time to prepare mentally.
Lim Yang-wook’s department was short on funds, so they had to finish shooting in just one day.
A young and pretty host came to the orphanage, making a fuss.
“There’s a special child in this orphanage! Is that true?”
Director Moon Chung-jae, extremely nervous, answered in a painfully awkward manner.
“Ah- yes- our New Light Spring Orphanage is operated with Christian values- I am Director Moon Chung-jae- Ah, you’ve come looking for a special child- All our children are special, but- well, there is one child particularly gifted in writing-”
Director Moon Chung-jae messed up his lines about five times from the start.
But I wasn’t in a position to laugh at him.
It was also my first time in front of a camera, and I didn’t expect to be this nervous.
My legs were trembling uncontrollably.
Teacher Bang Jeong-ah, teaching the children awkwardly in the classroom, was in the same boat.
Director Moon Chung-jae led the crew into the orphanage classroom.
“Here- this is it- this is where the child attends classes-”
The camera entered the classroom, and Teacher Bang Jeong-ah, with a trembling voice (almost on the verge of tears), pretended to teach.
“Now, now~ children~ let’s all read this word together, shall we?”
The children responded with their prearranged answers.
“Yes! Yes! Teacher!”
It was a pitiful sight.
Eventually, the PD made a decisive call.
“Cut it all out.”
“PD-nim…!”
Director Moon Chung-jae pleaded that there was much more of the orphanage facility to introduce, but after a scolding from the PD that we weren’t here to cover the orphanage, he reluctantly backed off, looking dejected.
And so, I was immediately put in front of the camera.
The host looked at me with suspicion, wondering if I was really a genius, but as soon as the camera light turned on, she transformed into high-energy mode and bombarded me with questions.
“Our young friend! What’s your name?”
“Hello, I’m Moon In-seop.”
“Is it true that you’ve written a ?”
“Yes. I work under the pen name Mun In.”
“That’s really amazing!”
I was confused. I didn’t even know what I was saying. The camera filming me felt strange, and the excessively pretty and high-energy host was overwhelming.
My mind felt as blank as a white sheet of paper.
Then, Lim Yang-wook’s advice came to mind.
Cool, chic, and something else.
Anyway, the cool and chic concept was important.
Cool, chic.
Cool, chic.
Cool chic…
“How is your life in the orphanage?”
“Life in the orphanage? There’s not much freedom. Things like belongings are often taken away. Especially during unannounced inspections of high school students, they seize condoms as if catching mice, but then treat you like a whore if you get pregnant and become a single mother. It’s a bit strange. But since that’s how the adults are, we just have to accept it, I guess.”
In that moment, the world froze.
The host covering me,
The staff holding the cameras,
The PD overseeing the shoot.
Teacher Bang Jeong-ah in front of the chalkboard,
Director Moon Chung-jae outside the classroom,
Lim Yang-wook among the staff.
Everyone stopped, their mouths agape and eyes wide open.
What’s this? Isn’t this what they wanted?
I looked at Lim Yang-wook, feeling bewildered.
Sweat was streaming down his smooth scalp.
He hurried over to say something, but the PD suddenly ordered the staff to stop him.
“Grab him.”
“What are you doing- Mmph! Mmmph!”
In a shooting set, there is a god, and that god is the PD. Lim Yang-wook, powerless against the PD’s authority, was surrounded by staff and taken away…
Feeling uneasy, I asked the PD.
“Did something go wrong?”
The PD chuckled and shook his head.
“No! It’s perfect! Just keep doing that!”
It seemed that this was the ‘cool chic’ the PD wanted.
Realizing I was on the right track, I felt some of the tension leave my body.
I let the concept guide me and continued with the shoot.
“Do you know they bought sixteen literary awards with money? Who in this field doesn’t know about the business of debut fees? Of course, I didn’t ask for it. The orphanage allowance isn’t that much. Even my manuscript paper is bought secretly by a teacher, so how could I buy literary awards for several hundred thousand won each? But when the company said they were doing noise marketing, I did comment that buying one award might be a loophole, but buying sixteen is an art.”
“School life isn’t easy. How can kids without parents mix freely with others? Even the teachers look at us differently… To put it bluntly, when there’s trouble and it turns into a fight among adults, aren’t the orphanage kids always the losers? The kids know that. So they act tough towards us. These days, kids are much more cunning than you think. Maybe it’s because of YouTube.”
“But I’m really grateful to Director Moon Chung-jae and Teacher Bang Jeong-ah. They’re truly kind and compassionate people. It’s a tough job to take raising other people’s children as your occupation… It’s thanks to people like them that kids like us can have hope. Oh, and I’d like to express my gratitude to the Korean Catholic Bishops’ Conference and the Presbyterian Church of Korea for always supporting the New Light Spring Orphanage. Even though our Director Moon Chung-jae doesn’t clearly state whether he’s Catholic or Protestant and acts a bit ambiguously, please don’t look at him too harshly. Aren’t we all Christians?”
At some point, the host covering me started showing a look of astonishment.
In contrast, the PD directing the shoot was puffing out his chest in excitement.
The interview progressed smoothly (?), and the crew eventually came to the four-person room where I stayed.
“I usually write here. Lying on the bed with manuscript paper.”
“Isn’t it uncomfortable? Moon In-seop?”
“I can’t really say it’s uncomfortable. Complaining about being in a four-person room would be rude to my friends, and saying that writing on a bed is uncomfortable would be like whining to the teachers managing the orphanage and to those who support us wholeheartedly.”
This was my honest feeling. The host seemed moved by my words, as her eyes slightly changed.
But then I remembered the broadcast concept I had to maintain. Cool chic.
“Well, we have to live with what we have, right?”
“Ah, ah, oh.”
“Did I say something wrong?”
“No, no, not at all, Moon In-seop.”
The host, seemingly choked up for a moment, looked up at the ceiling. Luckily, her waterproof makeup prevented any mascara from running down due to tears.
Hmm. The host knew it was all a concept, but she seemed to have quite impressive acting skills.
Urged on by the PD, the shooting continued.
Placing the thick stack of manuscripts I had written on the desk, the host looked at them with amazement.
“Did you write all these s?”
“Yes. Some are published, and some are drafts.”
“That’s really incredible! What’s it like to write? Is it difficult?”
“……”
This was a question I had been briefed on before the shoot.
Lim Yang-wook, following the instructions of the broadcasting station PD, had told me to answer that it was easy.
People tend to undervalue effort and overvalue talent.
They admire geniuses who effortlessly do what they cannot, and they are harsh on those who achieve something through endless effort.
So, show overwhelming talent.
Make the whole world admire you.
Write a on the spot, as if it’s nothing, like a pianist inspired by a muse, just as I had shown Lim Yang-wook.
That was supposed to be the highlight of this broadcast.
Lim Yang-wook had urged me to do so.
And that seemed right to me too.
But.
I couldn’t lie about this.
I simply couldn’t lie about writing. Writing was everything to me.
At that moment, I truly let go of all my tension and revealed my innermost feelings.
“It’s hard.”
“Ah! Of course, it’s amazing—huh?”
The host was taken aback. This wasn’t the answer she was expecting.
The PD gave a meaningful look, but I continued to speak my mind.
“It’s incredibly hard, truly to the point of exhaustion. Every time I write, I have to expose what I most want to hide. Revealing my pain, shame, and ugly thoughts to others, shaping them into something presentable, is a lonely and difficult task. The reality that the more an author’s inner self is revealed, the better the writing is considered, is also tormenting. It wears down my spirit.”
But.
“I can’t stop writing books. A book is, well, an emotion. You can’t stop feeling emotions. And a is a very special emotion. Even if, in the distant future, people could inject chips into their brains to instill feelings like happiness or love, s will never disappear.
The only word that can express the emotion felt in a is its title. The only thing that can explain a is its title, just like every person.
Just as there are no two identical people in the world, there are no two identical s. That’s because a is a projection of the author’s humanity onto paper. Therefore, like every person is special, every is special too.
When I write a , I forget all my sorrows and focus solely on that . It’s the process of creating a whole new world. And at the end of it, what I encounter is another version of myself, so different that I can hardly believe I wrote it.
So, the more I write, the more I feel like I’m understanding myself. Not just experiencing pain or joy, not just being swept away by the world, but looking into how I perceive this world, discovering how I create a world of my own.
Every day feels new. It’s wonderful. I never get tired of it.
Perhaps I’m addicted to this process.
That’s why I write, despite the pain.”
Whew. I let out a sigh after finishing my long explanation.
“Did I ramble too much? I’m sorry.”
But there was no response.
The PD, the host, and even Lim Yang-wook, who had since returned.
They were all looking at me with expressions as if they had witnessed something brilliantly shining.
*****
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