None of These Witches are Ever Serious

Ch. 9



Chapter 9

Most of the buildings in the town were sealed in ice, though a few had miraculously escaped the frost.

A small tavern hugged the main road, its roof blanketed in thick, dry straw. A rooster weather vane perched on top, spinning lazily in the wind.

The tavern's wooden swinging doors creaked under the gusts, while a weathered signboard propped by the entrance bore a crude sketch of a beer mug.

If this territory hadn't been locked in ice, the air inside would probably have been thick with the savory aroma of stewed meat and the malty scent of ale.

Luo En stepped into the tavern and found it in total disarray, dotted with a handful of human-shaped ice sculptures.

The place must have emptied out before the worst hit—otherwise, there wouldn't be so few people frozen solid.

He picked up a glass, and a chill bit into his hand. "Is this temperature really enough to freeze an entire territory?"

It wasn't that Luo En was underestimating the power of this fantasy world; this was barely cool, not nearly cold enough to lock anything in place.

To freeze people alive like this, it would take some exaggerated kind of arctic blast.

He searched around but found no useful clues in the tavern, so he pushed open the door and left with a sigh of regret.

But right then, he heard a beautiful melody drifting through the air.

There were no lyrics, but the tune was ethereal and graceful, easy to get lost in.

Luo En turned toward the source of the song, but there was nothing—just a white squirrel with strikingly beautiful fur.

Something felt off on a gut level, though, so he started walking toward the white squirrel.

The moment he got close, a gale whipped up in the town, fiercer than before by several magnitudes.

In an instant, Luo En could feel his body going numb, awareness slipping away.

He pulled his overcoat tighter and watched helplessly as the white squirrel vanished into the swirling snow.

Not only that, but the singing stopped the second the wind picked up. Now, all he could hear was the howling cold.

......

After that gale hit, Luo En couldn't stick around the town any longer.

Even with the overcoat, it was too much; if he dawdled, he'd end up as an ice sculpture himself.

"Freezing my ass off..." Luo En grumbled as he trudged out through the town gates.

The town wasn't big, but every corner had the same bleak palette, and he'd gotten lost for a good while earlier.

When he made it back, though, he spotted a large wooden house that hadn't been there before.

"Am I hallucinating from the cold?" He wondered if the freeze had addled his brain.

If his memory was right, this spot had been a patch of woods.

"Mr. Luo En, you're not hallucinating." Lilian pushed open the door to the wooden house, her voice clear and bright.

A small stove flickered inside the house, and Moruna sat beside it like a delicate doll.

She held a cup of water but didn't drink.

Her vacant eyes stared straight ahead, blinking infrequently.

"What is this place?" Luo En asked, stunned.

"It's a temporary camp I built for you, of course." Lilian curtsied, lifting the hem of her skirt. "The kitchen, bathroom, bedroom—everything you need is here."

"No, no, I mean, how did you make it?" Luo En suspected Lilian had some magic model house that could expand and shrink.

"With the wood from around here, piece by piece," Lilian replied matter-of-factly as she smoothed her skirt. "It's basic maid skills."

Luo En walked in, still dazed and disbelieving. He'd never heard of a maid building a whole house in a few hours.

The instant he entered, Moruna raised the cup in her hand and shoved it straight at his face.

"What the hell?" Luo En yelped.

"Miss Moruna seems to want you to drink some hot water," Lilian explained from the side.

"How do you know?" Luo En blinked in surprise; he couldn't read that from Moruna at all.

"White Dragons can read people's thoughts to a certain extent," Lilian said, arching a brow lightly. "Of course, I couldn't before, but now that I can, it means this witch has regained some awareness."

Truth be told, Moruna's recovery caught her off guard; she'd assumed the witch would stay dazed indefinitely.

"By the way, Mr. Luo En, dinner's ready for you both." Lilian pulled out a chair for him. "It's dinnertime—please, have a seat."

A few minutes after she bustled over, Lilian emerged from the kitchen with a steaming plate of meat cutlets.

Luo En was starving, but he wasn't sure what kind of meat it was.

He took a bite and found it delicious. "What is this?"

"Dragon meat, and quite fresh, Mr. Luo En." Lilian smiled politely.

Luo En, fork halfway to his mouth for another bite, dropped it in shock. "Where'd the dragon meat come from?"

"My tail," Lilian said calmly.

"..." Luo En's face twisted.

"Don't worry—cutting off a little like this is like a human getting a scrape or two," Lilian explained.

Dragons healed way faster than humans; a wound like that would mend in under an hour.

"Moruna, don't eat that..." Luo En suddenly remembered something and tried to warn her.

But Moruna was already digging in with gusto; it was too late.

In her state, though, she'd probably keep going even if she heard him.

"Miss Moruna seems to be enjoying it. Would you like another piece?" Lilian asked respectfully.

And whether it was his imagination or not, Moruna's dull eyes suddenly lit up.

But instead of her utensils, she set down her fork and grabbed Luo En's hand.

Unfortunately, she stopped there, leaving everyone puzzled.

Luo En figured it was just her eating instincts kicking in—maybe she really wanted seconds.

"No need," Luo En said quickly, nipping Lilika's alarming idea in the bud. "One portion's plenty."

"Speaking of which, Mr. Luo En, you're back awfully early. Does that mean you've already wrapped up the investigation?" Lilian stood at his side, her eyes half-closed.

"No, it was way too cold in there. No way I could get any investigating done." Luo En let out a sigh.

Lilian fixed him with a disappointed look. "So, as expected, Lady Mercury's assignment is just too much for someone like you?"

"If you really can't manage it, I'll head back and let Lady Mercury know." Her tone was so impeccably polite that Luo En couldn't shake the feeling she was being passive-aggressive.

"No... I'll give it another shot tomorrow," Luo En replied. "I spotted a white squirrel in there. That has to be the Culprit."

"Is that right? Then I'll be here tomorrow, waiting for your good news." Lilian held her pose, her voice cool and detached.

"Could you use that Breath to help me out?" Luo En asked suddenly.

Lilian kept her eyes shut. "The Breath can only enclose a fixed area—it can't move with you. You'll have to figure out a way to push through on your own."

The moment the words left her mouth, the System's voice chimed in Luo En's ear.

[You seem to have been looked down on by a maid. As the future Strongest on Earth, how can you stand for such an insult? You must reclaim your honor!]

Luo En badly wanted to point out that getting snubbed by a dragon wasn't exactly a huge deal, but the System had already barreled ahead and assigned him a new task on its own.

......


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