No! I don't want to be a Super Necromancer!

The old men were all staring at Damien Bloodbane as though he was some sort of freak. Their faces were a mix of shock, disbelief, and mild betrayal.

Damien Bloodbane was supposed to be a prodigy-mage-turned-errand-boy!

A genius completely on their side!

Why was he so skilled in mecha as though he was someone from the other side?

Only Athena the little girl was bouncing jubilantly next to him like a basketball.

"Kyaaah! Bro, you're so cool! You actually killed all five enemies! Even though they were probably some rich kid newbies who had more money than skill, you still did it! You're amazing!" Athena exclaimed enthusiastically.

If the five hotshots from China's Northern Army Corp were to hear her words, they would probably puke out gallons of blood.

What do you mean we have more money than skill?

Bro! If we had money, even just a little bit more, we wouldn't be here in this blasted army camp, okay?

We would be on a cruise ship somewhere surrounded by bouncy, jiggly- nevermind!

"This Battle God Arena is actually pretty cool." Damien Bloodbane smiled at the little girl whom he had fondly named Athena. "Do you want to try?"

"No thanks. I don't like fighting." Athena smiled sweetly back. "Why don't you go on playing? I really enjoy watching you fight."

"Play play play! Play what play?" Riki finally snapped in mock anger at the two kids. "You both owe me, no, US, an explanation!"

"Yeah, errand boy, just who are you and why are you so good with a mecha? I thought you're supposed to be some mage prodigy!" Maru said with a huge frown on his face.

The other elders nodded in agreement, all of them narrowing their eyes suspiciously at Damien Bloodbane.

"Yeah, yeah! Since when did prodigy mages know how to fight like that in a simulation?"

"That wasn't just playing around! You were moving like a veteran pilot! Where did you learn that?"

"You better start talking, kid."

"What do you want me to say? This is my first time in BGA, same as you guys." Damien Bloodbane shrugged nonchalantly.

"Your first time?" Maru repeated.

"You're saying that… You've never piloted a mecha before? Real or simulated?" Riki asked while rubbing his bald head subconsciously.

"I think… That's what 'first time in BGA' means in practice. So yes." Damien Bloodbane rolled his eyes.

The elders went quiet.

Then—

"That's even worse!!"

Xian Fei dramatically collapsed onto the nearest chair. "We sweated blood in that fight and died like chumps!"

Riki looked deeply betrayed. "You're telling me we were flailing around like lost chickens while you were just… vibing?"

"Life is unfair. Especially in love and war." Maru sighed dramatically.

The old men all looked at each other thoughtfully.

"Bro, why do they all have this sneaky look on their faces? It feels like they want to sell you away or something." Athena whispered in Damien Bloodbane's ear.

But she was so loud and the silence in the room was so complete that everybody could hear her very clearly.

"Maybe… We could…" Riki began hesitantly.

"Absolutely not." Hong Fei replied firmly.

"Maybe just for Monday mornings…" Maru said thoughtfully.

"No. Absolutely unacceptable." Hong Fei said stubbornly.

"Bro! I don't think they are planning to sell you. I think they are planning to… Rent you out! They must be perverts! This must be a pervert gathering!" Athena half shouted half whispered urgently at Damien Bloodbane's ear.

"Per..Pervert?! What pervert? We are upright men in the loyal service of the Chinese Government, okay?" Riki's eyes bulged out incredulously.

He had never before been labelled a pervert in his life!

Not behind his back, and definitely not in his face like that!

"Bro, don't worry! I've already sent an emergency police report informing them about this den of old perverts who like to rent little boys and girls away. They will be here in less than a minute!" Athena whispered loudly again.

At that, the old men all exploded in shock.

"W-WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Maru shouted.

"We're not perverts! We're nice old men!" Riki protested loudly.

"Th-that's exactly what a pervert would say! You're a real pervert! Bro! I will protect you! Kyaaaa!!" Before anyone could calm the little girl down, the unmistakable sound of police sirens blared from outside the coffee shop.

The old men froze.

Damien Bloodbane's eyebrow twitched. Things were developing way too fast and way too out of hand.

But he was happy to just be a spectator.

Athena clapped her hands proudly. "Wow, that was really fast!"

The doors burst open as two police officers stepped inside, their uniforms freshly pressed, their badges gleaming, and their expressions dead serious.

One was tall and lean, clearly new on the job but trying to look intimidating. The other was short and stocky, his mustache a little too neatly trimmed for someone who actually knew what he was doing.

"ALRIGHT, EVERYONE STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!" the tall officer barked, his hand resting on his baton like he was ready to arrest all the so-called perverts in one go.

The entire coffee shop went dead silent.

The old men, who were actually retired generals of China's Mana Awakened Military, had survived years of war, political purges, and decades of military service.

They were even currently in active service in Pearl Institute as highly esteemed Professors!

Never in their wildest dreams did they imagine that the day would come where they would be arrested for being… Perverts?!

They sat stiffly like school children caught passing notes in class.

Riki, who had been yelling just moments ago, now had his mouth slightly open but no words coming out.

Maru looked genuinely offended but too shocked to say anything.

Hong Fei looked like he was contemplating his entire life up to this moment.

The shorter officer stepped forward, crossing his arms. "Which one of you is the leader of this den of perverts?"

"WE'RE NOT PERVERTS!" Riki finally snapped, slamming a fist on the table. "We are loyal, upstanding citizens of the Chinese government!"

Athena gasped loudly, pointing a dramatic finger at Riki. "That's exactly what a pervert would say!"

The tall officer's eyes narrowed. "So you are the ringleader."

Riki's soul nearly left his body.

Damien Bloodbane, for once, was trying his absolute hardest not to laugh.

"I swear to you," Maru began, waving his hands frantically, "this is a misunderstanding!"

"All perverts say that!" Athena declared with absolute confidence.

The officers exchanged a look before pulling out their handcuffs.

"Alright, enough talk. Everyone here, you're coming with us!" The shorter officer ordered loudly.

"Uh, sorry to interrupt. But do I need to go as well? I think I'm the victim here." Damien Bloodbane raised one hand and said.

The old men all snapped their heads toward him at the same time.

"This is YOUR FAULT!" They shouted in unison!

Thus began what would forever be remembered as The Most Humiliating Walk of Their Lives.

The bunch of retired generals of the military, men who had once led entire battalions, were now being marched through the streets like criminals, flanked by two clueless rookie cops who had absolutely no idea what they had just done.

People on the street gawked. Some even took out their phones.

"Hey… Isn't that General Xian Fei?"

"And General Hong Fei?"

"Didn't he once command an entire fleet? What did they do?!"

"I heard it's something about perverts!"

The old men walked faster.

"Maru, I swear," Riki muttered under his breath, his face red with shame, "if we survive this, I'm shaving my head and moving to the mountains."

"I'm joining you. But only after we skin that little firecracker alive." General Maru growled loudly.

Damien Bloodbane, meanwhile, strolled along like nothing was wrong. Athena skipped happily beside him, as though she didn't hear the old geezers planning to skin cook and eat her with a huge dose of sweet sauce.

"Bro, this is fun! I've never been to a police station before!"

General Riki glared at her. "That's because normal people don't go reporting other people to the police without hard evidence! And they especially do not accuse them of being perverts so baselessly!"

"Hee hee hee!" Athena giggled as though everything was just a fun little prank.

Damien Bloodbane chuckled loudly.

It was turning out to be a very interesting day.