No! I don't want to be a Super Necromancer!

"I'm going to innovate your face if you don't sit down and start listening," Jiang Xiao Yu hissed through gritted teeth.

Fatty sat down so fast his chair squeaked in protest. "Yes, ma'am."

Elly rolled lazily off the couch, landing in a foxlike crouch before hopping onto a nearby stool and grinning with mischievous pride. "What if I just charm the judges again?"

"You already caused two judges to forget their own names and one to propose marriage to a broomstick," Jiang Xiao Yu snapped. "We are not seducing our way through the national military tournament."

"Not with that attitude," Elly muttered under her breath, combing her hair with her fingers.

Damien finally opened one eye and spoke, his voice calm and irritatingly logical. "Can't we just let her plan everything and then wing it anyway like we always do?"

"I heard that," Jiang Xiao Yu said coldly.

"We're not exactly losing," Damien added, arms still crossed, tone perfectly serene. "And the objective is to win. Not write essays about potential fire mages with anxiety issues."

"It's not essays, it's battle prep!" she growled. "You are literally going to fight the best young combatants in the country. From institutions that eat, breathe, and bleed mana discipline. Do you think scratching people is going to cut it when we're up against people who command gravitational singularities?!"

"Depends on how scratchable they are," Fatty said, trying to be helpful.

"Scratch their helmets?" Elly offered cheerfully.

Jiang Xiao Yu let out a long exhale, the kind trained meditators would envy.

"One of the captains from Western Command is a dual-attribute flame-eater who melts mana shields. The last time he entered a tournament, the stage caught fire before the match started. And one of the twins has a technique called Cosmic Spiral that can allegedly warp time within a ten-meter radius."

There was a long silence.

"…We can scratch inside ten meters," Elly whispered hopefully.

Jiang Xiao Yu groaned and thunked her forehead against the board.

"I miss when I was the mysterious one," she mumbled.

Damien tilted his head. "To be fair, no one's stopping you from being mysterious. Elly's just… louder."

Fatty nodded sagely. "She's mysterious in a small fox girl in-your-face-kinda way."

"You're both fired," Jiang Xiao Yu said.

"You can't fire me," Fatty said triumphantly. "I'm freelance!"

Damien blinked. "You're freelance what?"

"Freelance fox launcher," Fatty said proudly.

Elly gave him a glowing thumbs up. "Ten out of ten. Best projectile thrower I've ever had."

"…You've had more than one?" Damien asked warily.

"Next question!" Elly chirped, flopping onto her stomach like nothing had happened.

Jiang Xiao Yu began to smile. It was not a kind smile. It was the smile of someone who had studied eighteen hours a day and wanted everyone else to suffer with her.

"Fine. We can skip studying…" she said sweetly.

"HOORAY!!" Elly shouted, throwing a bundle of couch pillows into the air like confetti.

"IF you can answer my questions correctly!" Jiang Xiao Yu snapped, her sweet voice twisting into command steel.

"Ho…rray?" Elly whimpered, slumping dramatically onto the carpet. Her ears, if visible, would've been drooping.

Jiang Xiao Yu crossed her legs with queenly precision and clicked the holo-board. A student's profile popped up on-screen with a stern face and electric blue hair.

"Let's test your knowledge, shall we?" she said, deadpan.

She pointed at the projection. "Name: Qin Jiao. School: Southern Sky Academy. Element: Lightning. Specialty—"

Fatty immediately raised his hand. "Ooh! Specializes in being shocking!"

Damien exhaled slowly through his nose. Elly giggled.

Jiang Xiao Yu's brow twitched.

"Actually, I know the answer. It's running fast and screaming loud," Elly said immediately.

Jiang Xiao Yu blinked. "How did you know?"

"I watched his match," Elly grinned. "He zapped himself."

Fatty leaned in. "He ran so fast, he actually looped around and punched himself. It was majestic."

Damien, without looking, added, "Weak to grounded terrain. Needs direct air contact to complete circuit. Susceptible to terrain magic and spatial disruption."

All three of them turned to look at him.

"What?" he muttered. "I read the report."

Jiang Xiao Yu beamed.

Then she turned to Elly.

"Who is the vice captain of Team Eternal Spear from Crimson Flame Institute?"

Elly blinked.

"Uhhh… The grumpy guy with the forehead vein? Or the girl with the exploding glaive?"

Fatty gasped. "The forehead vein guy! He explodes if you insult his fashion!"

"Correct!" Elly said proudly.

Jiang Xiao Yu pinched the bridge of her nose. "No. No, it's not."

Damien tilted his head. "But she's not wrong either."

"Why am I the only sane one here?" Jiang Xiao Yu wailed.

Fatty handed her a duck bun from his emergency pocket. "Eat. You'll feel better."

Jiang Xiao Yu stared at it in disbelief. "Is this… warm?"

Elly nodded. "He has a mana-heated snack belt. Patent pending."

"Why do I even try," Jiang Xiao Yu muttered.

But deep down, as the trio haphazardly began describing their own twisted version of strategy, mostly consisting of "Yeet Elly and improvise", she allowed herself a small smile.

They were impossible.

But they were hers.

And this time, they were going to win everything.

Jiang Xiao Yu took a deep breath and stiffened her resolve.

They would be fully prepared.

Even if she had to drag them, scratch by scratch, across the finish line.

Jiang straightened slowly, brushing her hair back and giving them all a stare sharp enough to shear steel.

"Alright, listen up, you walking catastrophes. If we're going to do this, we're going to train. We're going to analyze our opponents. We are going to stop acting like a circus troupe and more like an elite tactical unit."

Fatty raised a hand. "Can we still wear matching uniforms?"

Jiang Xiao Yu narrowed her eyes. "You want to wear matching uniforms?"

Fatty blinked. "No, that was Elly's idea."

"Traitor!" Elly yelped, throwing a pillow at him.

Jiang Xiao Yu caught it midair and threw it back harder.

Somehow, the room devolved into a one-sided pillow war.

Jiang Xiao Yu had perfect aim. Damien casually sidestepped every shot without moving more than two fingers. Elly giggled as she weaponized couch cushions. Fatty dove under the table again.

And somewhere in all the chaos, the idea of tactical analysis and opponent breakdowns was lost once more to the power of Team Fat Fox.

The next week would be interesting.