No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!?

No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!? – 49

EP.49

Chapter 5

Belief and Reality (1)

Every time I fired, I realized one thing: I didn’t like the sound of gunfire.

Even back in the military, it was rare to find someone who genuinely enjoyed the sound of a gunshot. Sure, there were those who found shooting fun or who oddly enjoyed the smell of gunpowder, but they were exceptions.

For me, it wasn’t just the sound. I disliked the recoil and the acrid smell of gunpowder as well.

To be honest, though, there was a small thrill in stepping through the gate with a shield and gun in hand. After all, I used to read plenty of comics and novels during my childhood in this world, and at one point, I even dreamed of becoming a Hunter.

But what you imagine in your head is always different from reality.

Bang! Bang!

Even pressing my arm tightly against the shield and trying my best to control the recoil didn’t make one-handed shooting feel natural.

“Gah!?”

Watching a monster collapse in a spray of green blood didn’t help much either.

I prefer meat over vegetables, but seeing an animal die right in front of me was an entirely different matter.

Well, fine. I suppose I could tolerate that part. At least a monster spitting blood and falling meant it wouldn’t be hurting me anymore.

The truly unnerving thing was—

Thump.

—the sensation of something striking my shield.

It wasn’t a particularly strong impact. The noise came from a piece of a monster brushing against my shield, rather than an actual attack aimed my way.

Ria protected me.

As the party’s vanguard, her role was to shield the entire group, so she couldn’t focus solely on me. Still, with Si-yoon standing beside me, it wasn’t a significant issue.

Besides, stepping directly in front of someone with a gun was already an irrational move. Even the most well-trained marksman could have a stray bullet ricochet unpredictably. No one would place their full trust in the shooting skills of someone like me, whose experience amounted to basic conscription-level training.

The only reason I was part of this team was probably because of my divine power.

Slash!

The smaller monsters rushing toward me were effortlessly bisected by Ria’s sword, collapsing lifelessly.

It wasn’t exactly a pleasant sight—

Whoosh.

—yet there was something captivating about the way she flicked her sword clean in the air before turning to the next target.

Honestly, she looked a little… cool. Damn it.

I wished I could fight like that too, but—well, the Saintess in the original storyline wasn’t particularly combat-savvy. Healers were meant to heal. While my new gear allowed me to contribute somewhat in battle, it was still limited to a support role.

Bang!

Click.

When the slide locked back, I pressed the magazine release and prepared to reload.

“Wait, over there!”

Yu-ri’s shout cut through the air.

Out of the forest—just to Si-yoon’s right—a monster suddenly leaped out.

With his skills, Si-yoon might have been able to fend it off. Even if he got injured, it probably wouldn’t be anything serious.

But before those thoughts could fully form, my body was already moving.

Just as Ria had trained me, I calmly holstered my pistol behind my shield. Extending my right hand toward Si-yoon—

“…!”

—white light radiated from my palm, scorching the monster’s surface until it was charred.

Divine power didn’t work on living beings; it could even end up healing them instead. But when it came to creatures sustained by magic, the effect was entirely different.

“Squawk!?”

As the monster collapsed, Si-yoon immediately drove his sword into its neck.

Though “neck” might not have been the right word. The creature’s body was a fuzzy, round mass, making it hard to distinguish. Perhaps I should say he struck below where its brain might be, in the area beneath what seemed like its arms.

I wasn’t sure if that was truly its neck, but judging by how the monster completely ceased moving, Si-yoon had definitely hit a vital spot.

“…Sigh.”

I let out a small sigh. Pulling the handgun from its holster, I retrieved a fresh magazine from my vest and loaded it. Though the shield’s handle strapped to my forearm was a bit bothersome, I managed to reload without too much trouble.

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

Si-yoon shook his head at my question. I glanced at the other party members. As expected, no one seemed seriously injured.

“Alright. Let’s clean up the area first. Stick close, and center around Anna.”

Everyone nodded in agreement.

*

The overall results of the party were decent. From the bodies of the monsters, we managed to collect claws, teeth, and other such items of value. For just one quick run, we’d made a fair amount of money. Not at the level of what the original protagonist’s group would rake in, of course, but still decent enough—especially since this was all still before the main storyline kicked off.

…The main storyline. Unless it’s a pure slice-of-life narrative, most stories have at least one major arc. Even slice-of-life tales often have a central thread running through them. Usually, the resolution of the plot involves drawing together those larger threads.

In The Weakest Hunter, which I’d read, there was such a thread as well.

The Second Gate Crisis.

The presumed root cause of all the gate occurrences.

And the organizations working to remove the forces that had been suppressing gate formations up to now.

The problem was that I hadn’t read to the very end of the story. I couldn’t definitively say who or what those entities were.

“……”

While I was lost in thought, Ria lightly tapped my shoulder.

Turning to look at her, I saw that she’d opened her mouth as if to say something but then closed it again. Judging by her expression, she was probably about to make a teasing remark.

Instead, Ria, who had briefly looked at me with an unexpectedly serious expression, grinned and patted my shoulder again.

“You did well today. Your aim’s not bad.”

“I didn’t take down many monsters, though.”

“Your role is to look after the party’s health in the first place. If you ever find yourself running around taking down a lot of enemies, it would mean the entire party is in serious trouble.”

I couldn’t think of any solid rebuttal to Ria’s words.

It felt… odd, somehow. It had been a while since Ria had praised me so straightforwardly.

“I was the same at first.”

“Huh?”

“Taking a life. It’s not exactly a pleasant feeling, is it? Even if they’re trying to kill you. I imagine it’s worse for you.”

I wondered what made her think it was harder for me. But I couldn’t exactly say it didn’t bother me either, so I just stayed quiet and listened.

Come to think of it, Ria letting me enter the gate armed with live ammunition might have been her way of being considerate. In gaming terms, it was like letting a healer step up to the frontlines, but with enough support to hold their own.

And considering it was a gun I was wielding, it must’ve been more of an inconvenience for the others. From the perspective of the party members who had to guard the front, dealing with a stray bullet caused by my inexperience would’ve been downright annoying.

“……”

When I didn’t respond and just stared at her with a complicated expression, Ria shrugged, tapped my shoulder a couple more times, and walked past me.

…Why did it feel like that?

Was it because Ria was younger than me in reality? Was that what was bothering me?

Maybe I should just chalk it up to annoyance.

Yeah, thinking of it that way felt easier.

*

Before I met Ria, I had planned to stay out of the story and avoid interfering with the protagonist couple. But since I’d ended up joining them, it was impossible not to think about the main plot.

While Ria went off to wash up, I pulled out my journal for the first time in ages.

Fortunately, no one had ever discovered my journal so far. Just in case, I had filled the very first and last pages with my thoughts on atheism. Most people, after reading the first few pages, wouldn’t bother flipping all the way to the end.

It was like those internet posts where people hide the “You’ve been pranked!” reveal in the middle, ensuring readers get through at least half of it before realizing.

…Not that I’d ever written something like that myself.

Flipping through the thick journal, I found the section where I’d summarized parts of the story.

First, the protagonist’s awakening. Like most novels, the protagonist awakens in the face of mortal danger. In this case, it’s Lee Si-yoon. He’d already faced a life-threatening situation once, slightly loosening his limits, but for his full awakening, he would need to go through more events. Usually, it involves the heroine being in peril, with Si-yoon risking his life to save her.

…And that included the Saintess.

Second, the overarching storyline. There was an organization. A force beyond the gates.

“…Those who believed the gates were a blessing, a gift of divine power.”

The truth behind that belief became clear later, during the Saintess storyline. The Saintess’s overwhelming divine power. That power was the true manifestation of God’s will, and therefore, this world was where salvation would come—

“…Knowing that, they shouldn’t have given power to someone like me.”

I sighed heavily and muttered to myself.

It was true.

If I hadn’t possessed the Saintess, if this world had been similar to the original but without a Saintess altogether…

It would have been better to leave this body vacant rather than creating it and giving it to me.

So those entities would never learn of this world.

…Or perhaps, it meant I had some destined role to fulfill here after all.

I still didn’t know.

The sound of running water from the shower stopped.

Thinking about Ria brought back the image of her earlier.

In this world, was there anyone else besides Ria who had ever praised me solely for my abilities? Everyone else… they only looked at the entity behind me.

…I’d gotten too close.

I sighed deeply and ran a hand over my face again.