Nirvana In Fire

The capital of Jinling was divided into the inner palace city and the outer imperial city.  The security of the palace city was the responsibility of the Emperor’s personal Imperial Guard, the head of which was currently Commander General Meng Zhi.  Compared to the single system of the palace city, the security of the outer imperial city was a much more complicated matter.  Criminal cases among the common people, daily patrols, the capture of bandits, putting out fires and dealing with floods – these were the responsibilities of the Capital Government Office, while the Capital Patrol took care of the defense of the city gates, the enforcement of the evening curfew, and dealt with any and all armed conflict.  The Capital Government Office was a regional authority, and thus answered to the Six Departments, and the Capital Patrol by rights should have been controlled by the Ministry of War, but for as long as anyone could remember, because it was directly overseen by the Marquis of Ning, who outranked the Minister of War, it had always functioned independent of the Ministry of War, which did not dare issue it any orders or commands.  Aside from this, there were many households in the capital who had the right to possess their own private soldiers.  The Eastern Palace was permitted to store three thousand soldiers, Royal Princes were allowed two thousand, Princes one thousand, and first-ranked officials eight hundred.  Even at their most quiet, these soldiers held by private households had an impact on the peace of the city, and when they came to conflict with one another, the chaos they could raise was not to be underestimated.  And so when Xie Yu, who held the Capital Patrol in his power, was toppled from his position, it was as if someone had reached into the tangled mess and forcefully removed a section, creating even more knots in the process.

About a month after the Great Grand Dowager had been laid to rest, the imperial edict was passed, and Xie Yu walked out of Sky Prison along the Dark Path and prepared to depart for his place of exile, Gui province.  He had been born to a noble family and had achieved success early in life, eventually even attaining the position of a first-ranked court official, but all the power and prestige he had accumulated over the years had evaporated like smoke in the space of a single night, and now he wore chains and fetters like any other common criminal, marched out of his prison cell between two burly guards, without even a wooden torch to his name.

Fortunately, criminals always departed for exile at dawn, and so the streets were still largely empty, without crowds standing around to stare and jeer, and  Xie Yu felt a little easier.  He had not been beaten or tortured in prison, and had not even undergone any routine interrogation, and although his case had been judged by the Emperor in the end, he had not seen this liege of his since he entered the walls of Sky Prison.  Within the prison itself, the food was not of any admirable quality, but at least it was provided in sufficient quantity, and the usual abuse of prisoners had been recently halted by the strict governance of the new Minister of Justice, and so, all in all, when Xie Yu came face to face with the Southern Gates of Jinling, chains dangling from his ankles, he was still in reasonably good physical shape.

Escorts and exile arrived at the Southern Gates just as the time came to open up the gates of the city for the day.  Naturally, it was the Capital Patrol standing guard at the gates of the capital, and at first, they did not realize who it was that stood by the heavy city gates in chains and fetters, his hair disheveled, waiting for the gates to open.  Some time passed before one of the escorting bailiffs stumbled upon a familiar face in the Capital Patrol, and after a quick whispered conversation, the Capital Patrol soldier cast a withering glance in Xie Yu’s direction and said in a loud voice, “Look, it’s your old boss the Marquis, a few months ago you lot didn’t even dare lift your heads to look him in the face, guess you can look your fill now, and see, doesn’t he have a nose and two eyes just like the rest of you?  And his back isn’t even as straight as yours!”

His words raised a minor clamor among the soldiers at the gate.  These lowly guards had never had the chance to meet Xie Yu face to face, and Marquis Xie was to them like a lofty figure in the clouds.  But now this lofty figure had fallen from the skies and was standing before them, and so they could not help the curiosity that overtook them, and soon, a few dozen guards were gathered around, and one even reached out to pull aside the hair that was obscuring Xie Yu’s face, meaning to get a clearer look.

“What do you think you’re doing?  Get back to your positions!”  A harsh voice cut through the clamor, its owner arriving to dissipate the crowd with a wave of his hand.  “What are you all gaping at?  The city gates are open, why are you not standing at your positions!”

“Seventh Uncle,” one of the soldiers wheedled, “the gates are only just open, there isn’t even a ghost to be seen, much less any people, and the brothers just wanted to have a look, we didn’t mean anything by it.”

“If it were you in the chains, would you enjoy being looked at like this?”

“I didn’t commit any crimes, so why would I be in chains?  And he’s not some big Marquis anymore, so why are you sucking up to him?”

Seventh Uncle’s face darkened in fury and he spat on the ground before saying in a thundering voice, “So when he was a Marquis, you suck up to him, and now that he’s been convicted, you can treat him however you like?  What kind of a man does that make you?”

Most of the crowd had only gathered out of curiosity, and naturally they grew a little angry at being scolded like this, but fortunately, Seventh Uncle was well-respected and usually got along well with everyone, and immediately, several others came forward to soothe the argument over, and it didn’t come to blows between them.  The two escorting bailiffs seemed to be enjoying the show, and called out a few words of encouragement now and then, while Xie Yu himself retreated to one side and gathered his composure and rearranged his hair, and no one could read his expression.

The leader in charge of this group of soldiers initially did not intend to interfere.  After all, soldiers got into arguments regularly throughout the course of a single day, and on average got into a large brawl once every five days, and as long as no one got hurt, there wasn’t much to worry about.  Besides, the sun was just rising, and the city gates were still deserted, so there wasn’t much to do, so this was like a warm up for his soldiers.  But suddenly, he realized that the two bailiffs were standing there with jeering expressions on their faces, and not wanting outsiders to spread rumours of the Capital Patrol, fury rose abruptly in his chest and he cracked his whip to get the soldiers’ attention and then shouted, “Damn it, all of you shut up!”

Although he was not of any high rank, at his sudden anger, no one dared disobey, and they all obediently shut their mouths and scattered away to their positions.  The two bailiffs saw that the show was over, and so they turned away and herded Xie Yu out the city gate.

Beyond the Southern Gates was a long yellow dirt road, smooth and well-kept.  Xie Yu was a military man, and kept in good physical shape, and so there was no chance for his escorts to scold or beat him for walking too slowly.  About an hour later, the sun had risen fully, and one of the bailiffs stopped for a moment to wipe the sweat on his brow.  He turned to look back almost absentmindedly and saw to his surprise the rise of dust on the road, followed by a carriage lined in dark silk.  From the appearance of the handsome horses leading the carriage, it was obvious this was no ordinary well-wisher.

The three retreated to the side of the road, and while the two bailiffs gazed curiously at the approaching carriage, Xie Yu turned his back on it, half-concealing himself in the wild grass that grew along the side of the road.

The carriage stopped a few feet away from them, and a plain-robed young man jumped out and shoved a stack of paper bills into the hands of each of the bailiffs as he said in a low voice, “I have come to see him off, please forgive the inconvenience.”

Although they did not recognize the newcomer, anyone who came to see Xie Yu off was no commoner, and so the two bailiffs only exchanged a knowing smile before tactfully retreating a good distance away.

“Dad…” Xie Bi’s voice shook, and his eyes were red.  “Are you alright?”

Xie Yu stood there silently for a long moment before finally making a noise in response, “Ng.”

Xie Bi opened his mouth again, but he did not know how to continue, and he stood there helplessly for a moment before turning to look back at the carriage.

It was then that Xie Yu realized he had not come alone, and his gaze widened momentarily.  At this time, and in this place, he did not know whether he wanted to see her again.  But whether or not he wanted to, the choice had already been taken from him.  The curtain of the carriage was drawn aside, and Liyang slowly descended from the carriage.  Even more shocking to Xie Yu, the person helping the frail Grand Princess down the steps of the carriage was Xiao Jingrui.

Five or six steps away from Xie Yu, Xiao Jingrui let go of his mother and stopped where he stood.  Grand Princess Liyang continued the few steps forward until she stood before Xie Yu, and looked at him quietly.  Xie Bi, wanting to let his parents converse in private, and heedful of the turmoil of emotions in Jingrui’s heart, walked over and gently tugged him a short distance away.

“Is it over?”  After a long silence, it was the Grand Princess who spoke first.

“No.”

“How can I help?”

“No need,” Xie Yu shook his head.  “Even you could not protect me in the capital, Liyang, and you would only be even more helpless in the jianghu.”

There was peace but deep sorrow in Grand Princess Liyang’s eyes.  She had shed many tears in the past days, and the circles around her eyes were dark, the wrinkles deep, and yet her steady gaze still hid a glimmer of strength, her expression as bewitching as it had always been.

“That Mister Su……yesterday, he sent people to see me, to tell you to give me a letter.”

“Letter?”  Xie Yu was taken aback, but seeing as it was the words of the chilling Mei Changsu, he did not dare dismiss them lightly, and so he hurriedly racked his brain, trying to understand what he meant.

“That person said, if you had not yet written it, to tell you to write it now, because there must be much more behind the things you told him.  Write it down, give it to me, and you will live.”  Grand Princess Liyang did not understand what she was saying.  She only repeated what she had heard numbly but solemnly, word for word.

Even if this man had strangled her innocence, even if this man had once plotted to murder her child, he was still her husband of twenty years, and the father of her three children.  She did not want to hear news of his violent death, especially when this man himself did not wish to die.

Xie Yu’s gaze wavered for a moment, and then suddenly lit up as he understood Mei Changsu’s meaning.

The secrets he held in his grasp, aside from those he had told Mei Changsu to his face, included many that he did not want to share at the moment, or that he could not.  If Xia Jiang wanted to kill him on the long road to exile, it would be difficult to stop him.  The only way to preserve his life was to write down all the secrets he knew and then hand them over to Liyang for safekeeping.  If nothing happened to him, Liyang would never share what he had written.  But if he died, then his letter would become iron-clad evidence.  Xia Jiang was not a foolish man, and he would know that it would be better to let Xie Yu live, because even if he could no longer trust Xie Yu enough to leave him alive, neither could he risk having secrets that implicated both of them be brought into light, because then it would be Xia Jiang who would fall to ruin, with everything he had ever worked for burning to ashes around him.

This was surely, surely the last shred of hope that was left to him now….

Grand Princess Liyang still stood quietly, watching him and waiting for his decision, without the slightest sign of wanting to urge or persuade him.

Something warm welled up in Xie Yu’s chest, and his eyes watered abruptly.  Although their relationship had not been without ripples these many years, nonetheless, right now, the only person left in the world in whom he dared to trust, the only person for whom he still held even a sliver of hope, was Liyang.

“Do you have paper and a brush?”  Xie Yu asked quietly after he had regained his composure.

Grand Princess Liyang produced a long box from the long sleeves of her robes and opened it to reveal brush and ink as well as a long scroll of paper.

“Write it on this.”

Xie Yu glanced over at the two bailiffs who stood at a distance, staring at the entire proceedings with undisguised curiosity, and Liyang immediately said, “Never mind, that Mister Su said, the more who see you write this, the better.”

Xie Yu understood immediately, and hurriedly picked up the brush.  Because he was still chained, Grand Princess Liyang mounted the scroll on a wooden frame and held it for him, moving it slightly every time he had written a few words.  But the whole time the letter was being written, her gaze never lingered on the words on the scroll.  When Xie Yu finished, she immediately rolled it up and placed it into an embroidered silk pouch and pulled the thread at its mouth shut tightly.

“Liyang….”

“I will not let anyone read what you have written, and I will not read it myself.  I have not the slightest wish to know what you have done in the past, because for me, it is best not to know anything….”  Grand Princess Liyang placed the silk pouch into her pockets, her expression growing pained.  “I also prepared some clothing and money, take it for use on the road.”

Xie Yu gazed at her gently, wanting to reach out to brush her cheek, but when he moved his hand, he immediately remembered the chains on his wrists, and so he restrained himself, and only said softly, “Liyang, you must take care, I will surely come back to see you.”

Grand Princess Liyang’s eyes were rimmed in red, and she turned her head and did not reply, only lifting a hand to gesture for Xie Bi to return.  Xie Yu hurriedly gathered his composure, and before his son came into hearing distance, he said quickly, “Liyang, that silk pouch, no matter what happens, you must not give it to Mei Changsu.”

Grand Princess Liyang looked at him and then nodded.  “Do not worry, so long as you live, I will carry this pouch on my person at all times.”

As she finished, Xie Bi was already approaching.  He was considerate and helpful by nature, and at his mother’s gesture, he had understood, and had stopped by the carriage to pick up the bundle she had packed, and now he helped Xie Yu tie it to his back.  Xiao Jingrui still stood at a distance, occasionally turning to look in their direction.

Xie Yu had never harboured any true fatherly affection for Xiao Jingrui, Grand Princess Liyang understood the pain and misery in her son’s heart, and Xie Bi had always been sensitive to other people’s feelings, and so none of them called Jingrui over.  They gazed silently at one another for a moment, and finally it was Xie Yu who spoke first.  “The journey before me is long, let us part ways here.  Bi’er, take good care of your mother.”

Xie Bi answered in the affirmative and then helped his mother return to the carriage.  The two bailiffs saw that the farewells had finished, and began making their way back over.  Xie Yu did not want to watch Liyang’s carriage depart and so he turned his back and took a deep breath, preparing to leave.  Suddenly, he felt a waft of cold energy strike him and he couldn’t help shuddering.  He lifted his head and looked around, but saw only wild grass all around him.  He thought it had been a hallucination, and shook his head firmly.

It was at this moment that he heard Xie Bi’s sharp intake of breath.

When he looked around again, he saw in the expanse of wild grass that had been deserted only a moment ago a person, the neck-high grass parting before her like waves in the sea.  It was Xia Dong, dressed in pure black robes, walking towards him slowly.

If it had only been Xia Dong, Xie Bi would not have been so taken aback.  What truly frightened Xie Bi was the expression on Xia Dong’s face, the hatred and enmity deeper than the ocean, colder than ice, more bitter than frost, that seemed to be etched into her very bones….

Translator’s Notes:

I’M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG but honestly all that prose at the beginning was hell to get through.  And I swear my motivation to translate takes a nosedive for any chapter that does not contain either MCS or our water buffalo.  It’s a poor excuse, but true nonetheless.

Also, hi Mangkhut.  A lot of my friends (who are on call at their hospitals today) had to spend the night in the hospital last night as well, because they have to be at work today, and well, they wouldn’t have been able to physically get to work this morning.  And a lot of the ones who were on call last night can’t get home today, so they’re also stuck there for an extra day.  Our trains don’t run when the typhoons get too crazy.  Fortunately, they still have wifi and snacks.  I’m counting my lucky stars that I wasn’t on call yesterday or today (although I am tomorrow).

If you’re anywhere near a typhoon or hurricane these few days, take care and stay safe ❤