Newly Broke Heroine! [Book One Complete, Cozy Fantasy Adventure]

The dragon's eyes widened when he saw Fiona, and he pointed one lengthy claw, his hand practically shaking. "Uh…guys? Is that who I think it is?"

"The ginger that gave our boss a lot of grief and melted down our payday? Yeah, that's her. Take her alive. Don't care about the rest of them," one man with a pair of dark-shaded lenses on his face uttered with disdain, and motioned for his associates to jump into the fray. "Get 'em, boys!"

"Robbery and a kidnapping. I hate Lunesdays," Fiona muttered. She pointed at the ruddy-scaled dragon with the head of her hammer, her eyes narrowed. "Hey, you! Mister Rojo! You're donating some armor scales to repay me for that melted door!"

The blue-eyed dragon looked a touch intimidated and set one clawed foot back. "Uh, guys, this is the lady that walloped Fierkraag, solo. Are we sure we weren't supposed to rob some other place?"

"Who cares, the guy was a pushover!" one shot back. Fiona would point out that Doug might take exceptional offense at that, but two other interesting developments happened before she could.

The first was the bright blue energy lasso thrown from outside the doorway that encircled the dragon, looping tightly. He looked down and wore a look of resignation at this new magical effect.

"Oh, fiddle–"

The dragon was yanked backward out of the building and let out a wail of lamentation, banging into the frame and digging his claws into the paver stones on the steps outside. Fiona only briefly took stock that someone had just cowboy lassoed a dragon. I...might be slightly jealous of other people's marks. Just a teeny tiny bit.

The second development was Darla throwing a frying pan, ricocheting off two of the men before they realized what had happened. The rest of them looked on, awestruck, as the men keeled over, groaning.

"Oh, you guys like it rough? So do I," she shouted with a taunting laugh. In a split second, the darkling joined the melee, with improvised kitchen hardware appearing in hand as the panicking robbers realized they had robbed the wrong place.

Fiona focused her attention on the crowd, sizing them up. Someone had pulled the dragon out of the fight, but there were still plenty of targets left, and she was in a store packed with magical items. She dove her hand into one magically reinforced case, the glass fading in an instant to her presence as she grabbed two rings, putting them on while still moving.

She did wonder why she didn't use these more often as the outline of her body blurred, and several superimposing images of herself confused her attackers. What she didn't dodge, the blasts of fire and lightning bursts hit nothing but air, with her various images making lewd gestures and taunting the suit gang. A few of the taunts were things she swore she'd never said before.

"Here comes elven death!"

"Handing out five flirt discounts and bloody beatdowns!"

"I'd like to see YOUR manager!"

Now she remembered why she couldn't sell that ring–it was so grating on the user that they couldn't use it effectively. It was still enough of a distraction for a few of the men, who swung and hit nothing but illusions. It didn't take much work to bounce two of the men into the ceiling, and they crashed down onto the floor, out of the fight.

The dents on the floor were going to be pretty hard to buff out, unfortunately.

Greg and Doug took one side of the melee, with Greg quickly summoning some of his paper golems–and then Doug setting fire to the golems, in a show of sheer terror that sent two of the men running for the door, screaming about maniac shopkeepers.

Unfortunately, that trick only worked once, and Greg quickly waded into melee with two men, dodging strikes and throwing one into the other in a show of subtle body strength. He even did a daring 'come at me' flex of his fingers at one of the men, who swung a baton at him. Greg artfully tucked the weapon under his arm, twisted, disarmed the man, then followed up with several forceful strikes that left the man reeling.

Doug, in the meantime, didn't have quite the body strength to engage in a melee, and snagged a wand from a display that blasted the floor and turned it into a rubbery textured surface. He leaped onto the surface and bounded upward into the air as if he'd jumped onto a trampoline, using the speed to unfurl his wings and sail above them.

He cackled as he flung a few alchemical grenades that coated two of the individuals in slippery, viscous oil.

The second they moved to react, their feet slid out from underneath them, and they toppled and skidded forward until they came to a rest at the feet of the armoire of invincibility. They sure couldn't scuff the paint job, but that oil was going to be a pain to clean.

Bonnie kept pace and had hexed three of the men into dancing, unable to control their legs as they broke into what she figured was swing dancing…Cepalunean style. That didn't stop them from swinging their weapons, even if their mobility was limited. Fiona took the opportunity to knock them all down with a few mighty hammer blows that sent them flying.

"Uh…" Fiona trailed off as their legs still attempted to swing dance, even when toppled to the ground. "Is that a bug, Bonnie?"

"Some hexes hit hard." Bonnie landed a leaping kick on the last man standing, dusted off her shirt, and frowned at the torn leggings. "Man, I just bought these," she complained, before stomping on one man's chest, pinning him down while she leered at him. "That's coming out of your pocketbook, buster!"

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Clang.

Darla's pan indicated the last man had just hit the floor, groaning in pain. She glanced around, grinning like a maniac. "Who's next?!" she bellowed out.

"Darla? Dearie? You are the victor. And remind me never to fight you," Fiona said, before grabbing one of the men by his cuff. The elven glare of doom debuff finally worked, and he sputtered incoherently, looking terrified. "Who sent you?" she demanded.

"Mister…Verde."

"Mister Verde? Are you gonna tell me that Mister Verde did it, in the lobby, with a bunch of blunt force hooligans?" She laughed in his face, leaving him wide-eyed and crying. "Oh, that's rich. I have a pretty good idea who sent you on a fool's errand to rob our shop. He has no idea the level of pain he's about to bring down on his head. Greg, where is the town guard?"

"On their way. I sent a relay signal the second I saw you go to the security booth." Greg tied up the remaining men with loops of the magically imbued notebook paper and glanced at a cut on his sleeve, bleeding lightly. "Bonnie, I think I require a little medical assistance, nothing dire."

"For the record? We really should wait for the town guard next time," Bonnie sighed before grabbing bandages and a small health potion from the emergency kit by her enchanting station. She then motioned for Greg to extend his injured arm. "Fi, Doug, Darla, you guys intact?"

"Is it strange I find this thrilling?" Doug asked, having used one of the men as a landing zone, and he wheezed as the kobold hopped off of him. "Also, no. Nothing but a few scrapes." He glanced at the wand in his hand, smiling proudly. "Lanier's springboard is a nice wand. Great for a quick flight without running space."

"I think this 'ring of distraction' is too distracting for me. I don't sound like that," Fiona said, wagging her hand to show the now inactive magical item. Doug folded his arms and wore a light smirk on his snout. "Seriously, it makes me sound deranged. I'm slapping a fifty percent off discount on this one, so it stops cluttering the case."

"Still here, still in pain," the man beneath her mumbled.

"Oh, right. Hadn't forgotten you." Fiona dragged the incapacitated perp along, waving to the room and the destruction. One display case was damaged, and the various spells had caused a mess, including a few impact craters from bolt holes that still smoldered on the wall.

She dragged the robber to his feet, pinning one arm behind his back, while she pointed angrily at her shop. "See this, guy? See the damage you caused? I can fix this in a day. Hell, people will line up at the door to help me, even though I can do it on my own. But you would've hurt my shoppers."

She spun him around, pinning him backward against a display, and she put on her angriest face she could manage. "So if you don't tell me, or the town guard, who sent you? I'll unleash my dragon on you."

"Ahem," Doug coughed.

"That was metaphorical!" she corrected hastily. "Or maybe not. Doug, I wanna give that dragon scepter a spin."

"It'll turn you into a squirrel, most likely," he sighed.

"That's why I have Bonnie! To fix an oopsie of the magical variety!" Fiona shot back. The kitsune protested in the background, while Fiona reconsidered her idea. "Actually, we can test it on this guy first. Worst case, he becomes a dragon, and I get my martial training this week. Best case? We can melt that scepter down as an obviously cursed item."

"I don't wanna be a squirrel!" the man wailed, crying.

"I didn't want to be a kobold, either. And it's not half as bad as it could be," Doug pointed out, giving an indignant grunt. "I'm pretty sure testing possibly cursed items on people is a big no-no, either way."

"Yo! Adventurers, coming in!" someone bellowed from outside the broken door. Fiona glanced outward, seeing a few of the adventurers who had been in the shop, looking like they'd been in a fight only a few minutes prior. "Sorry about the delay," one dark-haired man said, a cut on his cheek that he wiped at with a cloth. "There were more of them coming in; they're detained out on the street."

"I could have fought more of them? Sheesh, how many is that?" Fiona couldn't believe they'd hired this many guys for a robbery.

"About…fifteen?" Darla said, counting the now surrounded men, and frowning as she did so. "Wait. Where'd the dragon bruiser go?"

"Sixteen. The dragon was mine."

Fiona heard the stomp of someone heavy coming in through the door, a clawed hand easing past the frame. The person who entered was someone she recognized, with sleek orange and gold scales, and a smirk etched on his snout. He brushed past the doorframe and stretched his wings lightly. "Fancy meeting you here, Fiona."

"Wait. Liam?!" She recognized the young dragon from the guild–though she hadn't seen him in a while.

"Friend of yours?" Doug asked, looking wary.

"Yep! We went spider hunting and a couple of other missions together." Liam bowed proudly, then let out a low growl at one of the perps trying to scoot toward the door. The man took the hint and lay down very quietly. "I saw a bunch of guys in two-piece suits milling about, which is normal for this end of town. Then I heard the ruckus and they all came streaming this way," he said, then pointed over his wing. "That big dude behind me won't be a problem."

"Ow! He broke a wing!" Fiona heard a distant voice wail.

Liam sighed, bright green eyes rolling at the commentary from the now subdued dragon. "So, yeah. Why is your shop such a magnet for drama and danger? I've been running some missions up north in the Arkantines, so I haven't been around for a while." He craned his neck to peer at Doug, and his eyes widened. "Wait. Douglas?!"

"Uh, there's no Douglas here, just a little kobold," he tried to deflect. Nevertheless, the brightly scaled dragon picked him up in a bear hug, with Doug wheezing. "This is embarrassing," he gasped out, while Liam thumped him gently on the back.

"Wow, I haven't seen you in a while! So this is where you holed up! I knew that story that you stole a bunch of land was rotten!" Liam said proudly before setting him down, before waving to the other confused people in the room. "I knew Doug when he visited the Arkantines; he did some freelance work identifying old historical items that ancient dwarves and dragons had lying around. He's still got that tuft of bright red feathers on his head and wings, very distinct." Liam looked at him, now concerned. "What happened to you? I heard you got cursed!"

"Temporarily," Doug grumbled. "I wasn't aware you and Miss Swiftheart were acquainted. What a small world. As for my current situation, it's complicated. Perhaps we can talk after we wipe up this untidy mess these hoodlums have caused?"

Liam looked around at the damage and nodded. "Yeah. The town guard is showing up now. Fiona, seriously, what happened here?"

"Oh, you know. Apparently, the adventuring life doesn't want me to quit," she shrugged. She heard the sound of a town guard automaton pull up, siren screeching. "Well, guys, here we go again. I bet anything this was Karlin's work, to send a message. Remind me to bill Rikkard for this one, too."

It was at this moment that Kali and Lani poked their heads in, and Kali gulped anxiously. "Am I fired, Fi?"

"I told you to wait for the all clear," Fiona said sternly.

"I did. I figured a giant honking dragon adventurer might be helpful," Kali answered flatly. "I also want a pay raise, for the record. Also, who is she?" he asked as he gestured to Lani, currently clinging to one of his wings.

"Uh…" Fiona trailed off. "This one is going to take a while."