Newly Broke Heroine! [Book One Complete, Cozy Fantasy Adventure]

There were a lot of dumb ways to die on Cepalune:

Death by giant monsters, who were not as cute and cuddly as advertised, and needed a good bashing in the mouth to pacify them.

Death by deadly traps, like some dead mage got his kicks breaking Cepalune's various laws about turning your home into a hazard zone, as if they were a demented eight year old who got his hands on the blowtorch and glue gun.

Death by choking on a sweet roll had almost happened, and deserved an honorary spot on the list of ways Fiona figured she'd die.

But getting roasted by a raging inferno would not be one of them.

Fiona leaped from the collapsing floor and grasped a set of piping still somehow connected to the ceiling, and she dangled precariously over the fire. Hot fumes assaulted her lungs, and she held her breath, looking for a safe spot.

She swung her body just like it was gymnastics time in high school, and landed on a collapsed metal column, just outside the flames' range. She peered around for Karlin, pondering if he'd just silently signaled Varith's men to torch his own building, and count on his fire resistance to protect him–and not her.

It would have been a dumb move. But she couldn't see the dragon, just the mess of steel and wooden framing catching alight. She coughed on the smoke and held her head low: this whole section was going up in flames! Even worse, she could see more men approaching through a gap in the wall, throwing incendiaries and setting the building ablaze.

Her eyes widened. There were innocent people here, not just scheming dragons! She needed her equipment for the task, right now!

Poof.

She didn't bother to utter the word as the shop blinked back into view, and she collapsed on the floor. Bonnie and Greg were by the cashier, mid-laugh, when they both gasped and saw her, sooty and disheveled, and rushed over

"Guys…need…fire…protect…things went bad," she gasped and coughed violently. Her lungs burned, and her head felt a little funny–she must have inhaled smoke, but not much.

"Fi, what happened? Where's Doug and the others?!" Bonnie shouted, already popping open an emergency potion and scurrying toward Fiona, pressing the potion to her lips. The second Fiona gulped it down, it felt like her lungs were less scorched, and she coughed heavily, unable to form words.

"Varith…showed up. They're burning down the building, there are people inside!" she gasped out. The healing potion was still restoring her damaged innards. "Bonnie, how many elemental shield potions do we have?!"

And it hurt, because she felt like she'd spent twenty years inhaling secondary smoke, and all the damage was getting reversed at once.

"Greg! Red elixirs, second shelf! Grab all of them!" Bonnie barked out while grabbing her hat off the counter, stuffing a wand into her pocket, and bringing Fiona to her feet. She would comment that she looked even cuter with the hat off, but they had a problem they needed to address. "Fiona, what went wrong?!"

"Karlin kicked the hornet's nest, and I don't think this one is on us!" There was a dim prospect that Varith had followed or stalked her, given his previous comments. She'd have to address that later.

Fiona dashed over to the armor stands, the display case fading from reality. She wasted no time and grabbed the red scaled mail and secured it as fast as she could, buckling and belting it. "Bonnie, it's gonna be hot the second we get in there! There's a series of smelters and industrial processing on the back side of the building, where several people were doing work late at night. We need to teleport them out! Watch your step as we land, the building's front facade took a lot of damage!"

"Fiona, you can't possibly teleport that many. What if–"

"It's either that, or Doug and the others are toast!" she screamed out. Greg had grabbed a satchel of alchemical potions, and downed one himself. She tried to ward him away. "Greg, no, this is beyond business hours–"

"I'm going. You're not talking me out of it." He secured the ice wand they'd been using for the displays on the fateful day that Doug had arrived in the shop, to hopefully suppress the fire. Without another word, he looped an arm around hers, and Bonnie following suit, a grim smile on her face.

"You sure know how to keep it lively, Fi. let's get in there and get everyone out!"

Fiona finally mustered a gritty smile. "Hold tight, and watch the landing!"

Poof.

She could do with less blazing heat the second they touched back down, and they all managed to perch on the collapsed column. Bonnie waved her wand with a series of sharp-sounding words to put a bubble of breathable air around them, retained by a thin-filmed shimmering barrier. She squinted and pointed at a doorway–Fiona could hear shouts and screams from people inside. "Plan is, we get the workers out!" She tapped her relay, trying to get through to the rest of the team. "Guys, I have Bonnie and Greg with me, we're sweeping the main workshop floor for workers! Karlin is missing, and Varith's men are torching everything in sight!"

"Way ahead of you, Fi! My feathers are permanently singed!" Nick coughed over the radio. "Cita's with me, what do we do here? If we engage with Varith's men, we could start a war with Vale since we're affiliated with the Adventurer's Guild!"

"Worry about it later! We're moving onto the factory floor. Meet us on the ground level!" Fiona smashed burning lumber away from the door with her hammer, and her flexible scale mail felt as refreshing as an autumn breeze on her skin.

The flame wyvern who had contributed to this particular armor set was saving lives today.

Inside the room, she saw utter panic. Karlin's workers screamed and tried to seek an exit, but more incendiaries were tossed into the building, lighting more sections ablaze. All the exits had been set alight, as if intentionally. A few brave workers tried to use their marks to extinguish the blaze by smothering it with dirt, mud, or blasts of water. It would delay the blaze, but not for long.

"Everyone on me!" Fiona screamed out, getting the workers' attention. "Bonnie, I need you to stop that incoming fire and keep them from shooting in! Greg, you're with me, prioritize the wounded and get them to this spot!" Greg handed her a series of red alchemical bottles, and she gulped one down while putting the rest in a compartment on the armor. Combined with the potion, she should be able to withstand the intense heat. She clicked her relay while looking for survivors. "Doug, I'm here with Bonnie and Greg, we're gathering everyone for a fast teleport out! Where did Karlin disappear to?!"

"He fled! Varith's men opened fire, but they couldn't stop him, and I'm dangerously exposed! I can hear the structure straining, we've got a handful of minutes, tops, before it all comes down!" She'd never heard Doug afraid, not like this. "Fiona, you need to prioritize yourselves, these people weren't–"

"You cold-blooded bastard, if you tell me to leave these people to fry, it's going on your performance review!" she screamed out. It sounded just a little unhinged, even coming from her.

She heard a frustrated grumble on the other end of the relay; she was more focused on heaving a pile of debris away. A wolven woman with brown fur blurted out a cry of thanks, before she too started to help the others gather and clear a path for those burned or otherwise injured.

Doug finally responded over the relay. "You're going to be the death of me, Fiona! Spoilers, dragons can still burn, and I'm bringing a plus-one!" She heard a grunt and a panicked shout up above–Doug led the way for a young human woman no older than her teens with a terrified look on her face. Doug motioned for her to step back, and he expertly stomped the flames into submission, though he winced as his claws and hands made contact with the burning material.

"Jump down!" Fiona shouted, motioning to catch them. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Bonnie struggling to keep a barrage of more devices from being tossed in. Whatever Karlin had done, had royally pissed off Varith's men this time. Meanwhile, the vulpine intercepted several of the devices tossed into the window with her hat, and returned them to sender, teeth bared and fury etched in her face and her bristled fur.

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The detonations and the shouts of panic outside indicated the fight wasn't one-sided. Bonnie continued to put up temporary golden barriers as fast as she could, defending the interior from additional attacks. A burly human worker helped her by casting energy into the shimmering shields, causing them to glow brighter and deflect more deadly weaponry.

Fiona caught the young woman and Doug as they attempted to glide down from the second floor, but the kobold didn't have nearly enough wingspan to support them both. He winced as he scrambled out of Fiona's arms, and the woman gave a nod of thanks. "Miss, is anyone left on the second floor?! he called out.

"I don't know! Why are they setting fire to the building? We didn't do anything!" Even with the intense heat, tears streaked down her face, and her gaze darted erratically.

"We're going to get you guys out!" Fiona vowed stoically, and the woman nodded weakly, her eyes looking less wild and frightful. "Stay here and keep low, the best you can, to avoid the fumes! Doug, keep the fire suppressed, buy me time! Get everyone close, we're doing a fire sale teleport when I get back!" She put a hand firmly on his shoulder, and his scales felt burning to the touch.

"You are completely mad!" Doug stomped his claws, choosing to argue with her despite the imminent danger. "This is how you got into this predicament, Fiona! Charging headlong into danger without a fully cooked plan and an understanding of the facts!"

"Maybe I did!" She barely could contain her quivering fury, and pointed at the second floor, her teeth gritted so hard, she thought she might crack one. "Maybe I put too much hope in plans that are a moon shot! Maybe I'm just a stupid isekaied woman, whose only good at wrecking everything around her! Maybe I'm an eternal screw-up, doomed to spiral down every life I live!"

And despite Doug's harsh words, she knew he meant well by it, and his harsh assessment helped focus her resolve.

Her next words came from the heart. "But I'm still a heroine, despite it all! That's what I do, I try to do right when everything else is going up in flames around me! Figuratively, and occasionally literally!"

The fire didn't take offense at the comment. And neither did Doug, who was, for once, left speechless. For about three seconds, at any rate, before his jaw quivered, and his gaze grew somber. "That might be one of the most sincere things I've ever heard anyone say."

This led to one of the most awkward hugs she'd ever received across two lifetimes, with the four-foot-short kobold. It wasn't the super inconvenient timing, so much as him trying to reach up, and her trying to reach down. The exchange lasted for exactly three seconds, before they let go of each other. When someone says things happen in the heat of the moment…sheesh, they were a little too on the snout, she thought in a slight daze.

But priorities, first. "Doug, if I'm not back in two minutes, you guys try to get out the south side, there's less fire and debris that way. That's our backup plan."

He nodded softly, already working with Greg to suppress the encroaching flames and buy time. "Try to come back in one piece? I…do enjoy the daily cup of coffee in the morning with you, when business is calm and quiet."

A faint smirk emerged on her face. "Likewise." Without another second to waste, she grabbed her grappling hook and snagged an exposed beam, vaulting to the second floor and storming down the walkway past the debris and twisted metal. The intense heat was searing her skin, even with the armor and her resistance potion, and both protected her from any fumes.

She grabbed her hammer and smashed down a door, braving the flames that were dimmer on this end of the building, with more metal and fewer flammable materials used in the construction. So far, she couldn't see anyone. She bashed her way past another door, through a short hallway lined with small rooms filled with what looked like old-fashioned microscopes and ore samples sitting in sorting bins.

It was eerily quiet for a building currently burning down.

She pushed open the last door, panting and out of breath.

Empty–except for the crates of funny money they must have moved in here. She'd lost track of them over the past several minutes, and they weren't worth the weight of the metal they were made of. She felt relieved, soaked in sweat and covered in soot, but it looked like they'd gotten everyone.

Then she heard it. Heavy bootsteps, metal clunking and creaking, that hadn't been there a minute ago. Her hand went to her hammer, her fingers tensed, and she resolved to bring a world of hurt on this suicidally stupid soldier.

"I was wondering when you would show up. You took your time getting here." She spun around and tried to suppress her reaction.

Varith stood by the doorway, covered in dark plate armor, and was flanked by guards who looked equally as deadly as he, their hands resting on their sword hilts.

She could easily take them, but needed to do it fast, as she responded. "Nice of you to stalk me while I'm going about my business with trade deals and locating trafficked goods. You could at least ask me to dinner first."

His lips creased into a light smile. "This is how we do business in Vale, Fiona–"

"Don't." She raised her weapon to a ready stance. "You know something, Karlin was right about one thing. This is a cesspool of a country. And it's made that way, by people like you. Rikkard warned me that someone made Salipol a bloodbath seven or eight months ago. Guessing that's what happened to your 'predecessor.'"

"That old man lacked vision." his gauntlets creaked as he clenched his hand. "Vale and Fiefdala can be so much more."

"Hey buddy, the building is burning, I have people to rescue. So, what, did the greedy dragon steal too much from you? Were you bored and wanted to set something on fire?" She glanced to the right--this room was sturdy construction, and Varith was blocking the only way out. Even the Bahn hammer couldn't smash a new door out of here. Not in time, anyway.

"Karlin was a means to an end," he laughed. "But for specifics, let's just say he played out his role after he burned me royally. And now I have members of Fiefdala's Adventurers' Guild, committing arson on a state property. With the alchemical munitions you provided us, tying Fiefdala to the culprits. Sounds to me like Fiefdala is provoking a war."

Shit. The same alchemical ingredients she'd arranged for transport, in a bid to clear out some of Fiefdala's debt. Her clenched jaw betrayed her reaction, and Varith's smile became a malicious grin. "I'm not going to lie, that was a stroke of luck. But I've always been good about stringing up a plan on the fly. Do you see the connections yet?"

"I don't have time for this Rube Goldberg villain plan, Varith. Get out of my way." His two guards' hands went for their weapons, the glow of their marks on their arms apparent. "Oh, you have not thought this through, have you?"

"Nor have you. Someone warned you that ears are everywhere in Vale. You mostly listened to them. Except for the one person you thought you could trust."

Her eyes widened, and a cold tendril of fear ran down her spine. Lani. No, tell me you didn't help them set this up. "No one willingly does things for you, Varith. That's fear and control filling the gap."

The stinging words got through to him, and he stopped and jerked his gaze to her again. "You know why they fear me? Because I want to smash the slaver houses to pieces. But I couldn't do it by myself without turning the city into a mass grave, so I had to stop the carnage and make compromises. The contract houses bound their indentured pretty damn tight, and the only way to rectify it was with an unfathomable pile of gold. Even if I had to bankrupt someone else to make it happen. And you know what? There were already people willing to put knives out for Fiefdala.

"So you planned to bankrupt Fiefdala, like it was always the plan?" She hated this guy more than she did before, because he'd made a deliberate choice to put his people over others. Even if the goal was somewhat noble. She also couldn't rule out that he'd do worse to the contractees, once free of the clutches of the contracts.

"Who says it's just my plan?" That leering smile unnerved her. "You know what, you couldn't comprehend the plan anyway. You see someone inconveniencing someone else, and you automatically assume there's a villain to smash. Rikkard's own pride led him to this situation with his kingdom on a knife-edge. I merely seized the opportunity of what others started."

Others? Likely that meant Glados. Karlin, maybe, but it sounded like he was now a loose end. But this villain wasn't gushing out all the details of the plan.

But she wasn't bothering with hearing him out. Lives were at stake. "Your 'opportunity' is coming at the cost of arson and attempted murder. And I am done negotiating." She activated the hammer's rune on the handle, and the weapon head briefly flashed red.

The Bahn hammer had just been changed from 'humiliate' to 'harm.'