Newly Broke Heroine! [Book One Complete, Cozy Fantasy Adventure]

Fiona knew this would escalate quickly if Karlin realized Doug was here. Given Doug's status as an oversized plushie doll, he'd be out of the fight instantly against his bigger, meaner, and less classily-dressed brother.

She frowned at that thought. A dress-up contest was no way to settle a brotherly grudge. She only wished she could fix this problem with giant hammers, but that would cause other problems. "Okay, I'm gonna scout this, wait here." Doug stammered out an angry response, but made no motion toward the door.

She poked her head out briefly to assess the situation. Lo and behold, a large, red-scaled dragon with golden eyes in the lobby. Like other dragons, He was about a good two and a half to three meters tall, and he stood poised on his clawed feet, leaning in toward a frazzled, balding man with tiny glasses hanging from a chain on his vest. Unlike most of her fantasy books, dragons in this world had a more humanoid body structure. He tapped a claw impatiently on his arm and wore a perpetual scowl.

She also noted that, unlike his brother, Karlin seemed to have a few scarlet and purple feathers on his wings, compared to Doug's bright red feathers. They were not quite identical twins, but they looked very similar; this made her realize how people could easily mistake Doug for his brother. he also was dressed in a black business suit that conformed around his wings. That had to be stupidly expensive for such a custom job.

Karlin, of course, was not happy with the current bank employees. His movements and tone were all a hundred percent menace, the way he closed the space with the manager and pointed accusingly with a claw. He shook his wings in agitation, and licked his tongue across his snout, as he were choosing which bite-sized snack to start with first.

He may sound similar to Doug, but his mannerisms were less refined, more guttural in tone. Doug had always come across as having a more refined vocabulary, softer spoken, and composed. She found herself surprised that she thought of his voice in that way.

Karlin was a three-year-old toddler in a grown-up body, who no one had ever told 'no'.

"What do you mean, somebody else has already come in and tried to sign off on the account? I'm the one who runs that account!" he roared angrily, jabbing a claw at a poor human male with a crooked tie who offered to look into this inquiry. She swore she heard his claws shaking on the tile floor behind her.

She edged the door closed again and turned to her companions. "Okay, ideas? I have one, but I don't know how safe it is."

Doug's pupils became tiny slits. "Tell me you're not going to try to teleport me? I do not know how reliable or safe that is. I was already made pint-sized. I don't want to become bits and pieces."

"Well, Doug, we have two choices here. Either we can go out the door, and hope that your brother doesn't recognize you, option one. Or, we can try the old switcheroo, option two. I drop you off at the shop, you wait five minutes, then I pop back in and take you to my egress point. Preferably, far and away from the bank, and the big, angry, inferiority complex-addled brother."

Doug mulled this over and realized she had a pretty good point. He put his arms out in resignation. "Do we have to touch?"

"No, but I think all we need to do is hold hands." She turned to Lani, who looked like she might start molting feathers out of stress at any moment. "We'll be back in a lick, don't mind us."

One poof later, they were in the shop, and Greg peered at them in curiosity. His pen was poised over his arcane data pad, mid-stroke. "Hi guys, what's with the impromptu visit?"

"You shouted 'poof' as you teleported," Doug growled, pushing her away from the bodily embrace. "Who does that?!"

"It was the magic, Doug! Just like this pair of shoes back home, and you had to shout out 'there's no place like home' three times for them to work," she answered with a wink. He wasn't buying it.

"You are more eccentric than anyone I know. Also, isn't that The Wizard of Oz?!"

She gave him a blank stare. "Buddy, you and I need to have a chat about your Earth knowledge, because it's too damn keen for chance." She turned to address Greg. "Well, you know what happens when you party crash? And then, somebody shows up who knows you? And then you have to slip out the back door before it gets super awkward? Yeah, that happened just now. Doug's going to sit here for a few minutes."

Greg rubbed the bridge of his nose, and his voice tensed a little--just like it did when he thought she made a tactical error. "I leave you alone for two days, and you're already getting into trouble, Fiona. I feel like we're setting an uncomfortable trend!"

"This is how Fiona always is, Greg. You know better," Bonnie retorted with a small tsk sound. His frown failed to turn upside down; even a light boop on the nose from Bonnie didn't work. His posture did relax a bit after, though.

Fiona decided to let this one go. "Listen, Greg, the circumstances of this one were totally out of my control! I cannot say the same for Doug, though."

Doug let out a throaty growl. "Oh, don't blame this one on me, I had no idea he would show up at the worst time. Come to think of it, why is he after such a small deposit?"

"Doug. Why do you think he's after it? Because he's petty." Fiona pointed at the key clutched in his hand, and he glanced warily at it. "Besides, I need to teach you about MacGuffin theory! It used to be a favorite pastime of mine. But later."

She adjusted her clothes, which had gotten ruffled in transit. After that, she equipped her sly elven grin, her best weapon besides her hammer. " Well then, I guess I'll have to ask Karlin what he's up to!"

"No, please--"

She figured if she teleported before Greg gave his predictable 'please don't', he wouldn't be quite as mad when she returned.

Poof.

She blinked and was back in the room with Lani, beak chattering and hand wringing frantically. "Hey Lani, this is a thing I do now. My mark mimics other powers, but not quite the same as the source power!"

"You disincorporated Doug! Why!?" Lani's chest rose up and down rapidly, her movements erratic and...bird-like, admittedly. Not counting the actual bird physiology. She continued to fiddle with her hands. Fiona rested her hand on Lani's shoulder and put on a warm smile.

"No, see, he's safe back at my shop! I have a weird power that allows me to pick a place where I can set up home, and my teleport takes me there to and from!" Lani put up a finger, beak agape, then it clicked for her.

"That has to be the strangest mark power I've heard of."

"Heh, yep! I really should go on a weekend adventure to see if there are other stolen and missing treasures that I can reunite with people, to see if I get more powers--" Fiona stopped, let out a soft sigh, and curled her nails into her palms.

The very thought of helping others, solely to get powers, disgusted her. Lani tilted her head, and her eyes looked less wild, more focused. "You can gain other powers?" she asked hesitantly, as the thought finally registered.

"Yes--uh, maybe. I don't know. All I know is that my mark picked up some new powers after I helped out a few people. One of whom I considered a friend." Regis had only been gone for a short period, but she realized his words had more than a lasting impact on her. She shook her head, and Lani tilted hers to the side, looking confused. "I'm sorry, that was selfish of me. The last time I got new powers, I wasn't aiming for it. I was helping a friend. That's what I do, help people, because I want to. Not because I expect something out of it."

Lani's eyes flickered with interest. "The fact that you said that makes me realize you mean it. That's a good place to come from, Fiona. What are we doing about the blusterous dragon in the main lobby?"

"I need to know what he's up to. Follow my lead. Him being in Vale, is bad news," Fiona answered succinctly. "Too bad my ability to pilfer snacks is just dexterity, and not an actual power to use here." She approached the door, confident that she could easily take on Karlin without much difficulty. But a physical confrontation probably wasn't in the cards today. "Lani, does your mark give you any particular powers?"

"I uh...kind of? I don't know how useful it will be here," she admitted. She rubbed one arm anxiously. "Is Karlin a big problem?"

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

"He's a symptom of a bigger problem. I'll see if I can get him to give me some insight." She smoothed her hair and took a measured breath. Persuasive mode was needed here, and she did a lot of that in the shop.

She strolled out of the room like it was routine. Meanwhile, the dragon threatened to call the guard, withdraw his funds in their entirety, or worse, burn stuff. She couldn't help but notice the dragon seemed to default to 'burn stuff' when things weren't going his way, at least twice in as many minutes. It must be a societal teaching--one she needed to correct.

Then again, she only personally knew three...maybe four dragons? That was a tiny sample size; Plus, she also had proof to refute that. She'd partnered up with a gold-scaled dragon named Liam on a monster extermination mission, deep in the woods. He had been quick with a joke and witty. His response to giant spiders had been to burn them, flitting in and out of the woods like a daredevil, while she performed cleanup.

That was, until the spiders got smart and threw up an entangling web that snagged him. She'd had to help him out, after making spider pudding with her hammer. He'd even laughed about it a little. Even with getting snagged, dragons were the fighter jets of Cepalune, and they maneuvered far better than she thought they would.

She might just risk that cursed scepter, after all. Just five minutes for a quick flight, that was all she needed!

She sighed and regained her composure. It was time to crack this dragon's hoard of secrets wide open. She strolled up to the dragon, and tapped his tail; she had to duck the whiplike appendage. "What do you want?" he growled.

"You look like somebody I know," she replied and leaned in, wearing a coy smile like a shield. "Someone big and strong."

The dragon regarded her with a look of scorn and tensed his claws. Then, he gave her a dismissive wave. "If you've seen one dragon, then you should know you should respect them all, little miss." Then, he did a double-take as he took in her appearance, and leaned in. She could smell lunch or early dinner on his breath, with onions and sautéed meat. "Do I know you?"

"Oh, you didn't hear? I'm the girl who solved a big problem in Fiefdala. You might know about that problem." He shrugged his wings as if this were unimportant.

"You small folk have trouble telling one dragon from another. Likewise, I know nothing of you." She didn't like his tone in particular, nor even counting the fact that this guy had probably screwed his brother out of so many different opportunities in his life. She decided she was going to fish for some information.

But, where to start first?

"So, what would you say it is that...you do here?" She leaned in till she practically touched her chin to his snout. It was even funnier that the dragon blinked and shied backward. She was sure he was merely blown away by her endearing smile.

The dragon chuffed indignantly at this. "I'm a major client here. Not that it concerns you, but I'm a big dragon, that's a big deal."

"Right, you are, indeed, a dragon. Must be nice to have wings. And people listen to you, with that big, booming, authoritative voice! People look up to you, and they want to be part of your big achievements! Not even counting size."

His frown turned into a smirk. "Oh, now that sounds like thinking like a dragon! You've got it right. Small folk are here to make big accomplishments happen. But I'm the one who ties it all together. So naturally, all credit should go to me." He bowed lightly, sounding cocky now.

Fiona snapped her fingers. "Oh hey! I know why you look familiar! You look like that dragon that was giving trouble in Fiefdala. You're a dead ringer for him!"

The dragon's lip curled back into a slight smile. "Oh, you mean my inferior brother Douglas Fierkraag? Yeah, haven't you heard? He's been a bad boy his whole life, and our mother was ashamed of him. Been that way since the egg." It was that crap-eating grin that told her that he was lying, of course. Not even counting Doug's recollection of the tale.

"So, why are you trying to take his deposit box? I heard the commotion outside, and you were quite loud about it, considering I hail from Fiefdala. Last I heard, that was still theft."

Karlin continued to wear that creepy smile as his resting face. "It's not theft if it belonged to you already. Trivial thing, I'm gonna get it eventually I mean I could just take it, but the lock boxes...they kinda don't like being broken into by someone who isn't the owner."

"So, would you say you just...lay claim to things, and they become yours?" She wore a polite smile, seeing if she could get him to talk about something intriguing.

"I always get what I want. It's just a matter of how I get it. Sometimes, laying claim takes longer than I like. But I've got time."

"And, how do you get what you want? I see that people know you here." That manager shying away from Karlin and wiping the sweat off his brow, looked relieved at her distraction.

"Easy. Have more money than other people. Or less debt. I've got a portfolio of little operations...they call it 'diversification.' So if one fails, the other is likely booming. Do that enough, and you can buy a kingdom." His whole mood was such a gloat; he'd fit right in with a Disney villain lineup. Scrooge McDragon.

Wait. She could totally lay claim to that one. She doubted there was a transmigrational copyright law...probably. But she needed to needle his proclamation, first. "You can't just buy a kingdom! Such things aren't for sale!" She feigned shock, a hand pressed to her chest.

He couldn't be this easy.

Karlin issued a roaring laugh, and people walked quicker and averted their gaze. "Miss, I routinely buy things that aren't for sale. It's one of life's best pleasures."

"And I make impossible deals," she replied. He tilted his head in curiosity, and relaxed his posture. "And whose kingdom are you buying?"

"Vale, Fiefdala, the Bar'dathi. The sky's the limit. See, I've been running some acquisitions, and there is going to be a point in the future for a hostile takeover. From a business perspective." He practically oozed megalomania from his scaly hide.

"But still, I think Varith won't just sell his Kingdom." That part was probably true, and she frowned lightly to sell the concern.

The dragon bought it. "Miss, I've bought things people didn't want to sell plenty of times. And while you can't always buy a whole kingdom, sometimes, when the right opportunity comes along? You can buy its debts."

Debt-collecting dragon bitch, If you're anything like those bogus debt collectors that hounded me for years, there's a special place where I'm gonna put my hammer, just for you. It wasn't hard to see Doug hadn't been spinning a yarn, his brother was utterly deplorable.

While the dragon gloated, Fiona spotted Lani walking over to the side, and she saw her wrist light up gently for a split second. Karlin had a few folders tucked in his pocket--she wished her pockets were big enough to be practical like that. She swore she heard a sound of ruffling papers, but only with the faintest sound. Karlin boasted about buying debt for pennies on the dollar, and no one did it but him.

"And how does buying debts get you what you want?" she inquired with an elven smile. She saw Lani nod with a slight look of excitement in her eyes; more importantly, she held a folder of papers in her hand. Which then dissipated into motes.

Fiona had a pretty good idea that this must be some of the power her mark gave her, but she said nothing. She didn't even see the avian approach the dragon's satchel bag, sitting on his hip. Lani gave a quick nod. She'd have to ask later.

Karlin stroked his snout and snapped his claw with his other hand. "Hey, Ignis! Get me a conference room! I believe I've picked up a new consultation opportunity. My going rate is pretty high, though."

"Payment comes in many forms, mister Fierkraag," she said with a soft tsk sound. She had him, now. Time to get some goods and catch up with Lani later.

The frazzled manager snapped to attention and nodded at Karlin animatedly. "Yes, right away! Follow me, please." He led them to an oversized conference room with a set of warmly colored wooden doors, each door big enough to accommodate Karlin. Inside was an ornate table, heavy, broad, and a lovely burgundy color, and a lacquer polish so fine, it must cost a small fortune.

Karlin casually spun an oversized leather seat at the end of the table in his claws, and sat down with a creak. A slot accommodating his tail, and notches for his wings. She took a seat in the decidedly smaller one adjacent to him and smoothed her clothing.

It was time to put her skills to the test, in an arena she wasn't as proficient in: digging for gold, out of a dragon who prized it greatly.