New Magic Brothers: A scholar and a tattoo artist walk into a tavern…

Chapter 9: The Mecha-Gnomes’ Revenge



Rum woke up feeling thirsty. Thirsty for water this time. He stumbled out of his bed – Amez's spare one – and went out the back of the shop and into the back street where he found a town well. Unlucky for him there was a bit of a queue, and so he spent his time standing and waiting by doing his new morning routine there, casting a little "Clean Body" and "Renew Clothes" among many onlookers. His robes changed color, which was interesting. Does Renew Clothes change clothes always? Does this mean I have an infinite wardrobe? The spell had delivered him a fancy new purple robe, with a silvery star symbol on the front. What is this I'm wearing? Is it some kind of upper-level wizards' robe?

Finally it was his turn to use the well. Rum grabbed the rope, letting the bucket fall down and into the water, while interested eyes stared at him. He ignored them. Pulling the bucket up roughly, he spilled some water back into the well. As he pulled it out of the well to drink though, Rum noticed a crowd was starting to form from many people who'd stopped to look. Probably not used to seeing a mage here, he reasoned. The wizard continued to ignore them even harder, and drank heartily of the water as if making up for several days of dehydration.

He dried his face with his new sleeve, then made the action wasted by splashing his face wet and pouring water over his hot neck. An undignified display perhaps for a high-status university mage, but quite reflective of the inner poor homeless person Rum was used to being for the last six years.

His beard, his face, and the upper portion of his robe all wet now, Rum looked up towards the sky. The sun was approaching noon. Oh this is bad! I might miss my meeting with Elrith and the party!

Rum turned away from the well and ran through the streets of the city like he was being chased by a beast. Everyone around stopped to see where this bald-headed, but powerfully built and fine-robed mage was headed. Rum's stamina held for some time, but he got tired quicker than he'd like. The stamina drain causing him to struggle against time made him pull out of his mind one of the few other spells that he'd made during his six years in isolation. A truly unique spell that was as much trouble as it was useful, however, desperate times calls for desperate measures.

"Self-Running Legs!" Rum yelled out loud and of breath. The phrase spoken, he felt a sudden force take hold of his legs, as a shimmer of green energy instantly lit them up. At once, his legs were no longer willing to give up. Case in point: he had no stamina, and at the moment he wasn't even able to regenerate stamina. Yet he ran at full speed again, with a quickly increasing pain all across his legs. At least though, he didn't – and he even couldn't – stop. That after all was Self-Running Legs: a piece of magic Rum had created as a consequence of running away from so many dangerous enemies over the years. It was a method of last resort because the spell was so unyielding it could knock him unconscious and furthermore, make him run unconscious through the night to get where he'd told his legs to go. It exhausted him extensively and his legs always collapsed when he reached his target, while he became incapable of standing for a few minutes up to several hours.

Rum had been nearly an hour's walking distance from his target. But with Self-Running Legs, Rum was making it there in what felt closer to fifteen minutes. Or at least so he was guessing. He had no accurate method of telling time, but the houses and shops were flying by fast.

At last – he was arriving! He saw the garden area with the giant statues in the next street over. Rum's Self-Running Legs pulled him through to the gardens and then through into the gardens themselves in barely any time, exiting out into a square whereupon Rum saw Elrith, the little human, leaning on her giant crossbow right next to a beautiful large water fountain. Rum was exhausted beyond belief, but he was still able to make out what would have to be the other members of the party, and there were three of them. Two of which were dwarves. One of the dwarves a female with blond thick pigtails down her neck, a large bosom covered by leather body armor mixed in with small metal plates. On her back was a backpack, something which reminded Rum he had forgot his backpack. Also he had forgot money. Actually he had forgotten everything. Anyways, lastly this dwarf lady had a pair of mean-looking one-handed axes at her belt. A woman dressed for brutal close-range battle in other words. The dwarf beside her, a male, had a half-long beard with four braids, wore the same type of backpack, and a similar style of armor but with much more metal plates. Instead of the smaller one-handed axes, he was leaning on a large doubled-bladed two-handed battleaxe with what appeared to be large magical runes engraved along the blade, written in blood-red ink. Last of them all was the third of what appeared to be the party members. It looked to be a human male, fully clad in thick polished metal armor, except for his feet, and the small area of his head where appeared a young clean-shaved face that was also the first to fix eyes onto Rum as he came running. This man too had a small backpack, a short-sword resting at his belt, a medium-sized oval shield held lazily in one hand, and a short-spear which he was slightly leaning on.

As Rum stopped in front of the crowd and just in front of Elrith, he very predictably, collapsed. Given the momentum from Self-Running Legs however, Rum fell face-forward, towards Elrith and grabbing her. With his much larger body, the result of was Rum unintentionally pushing Elrith with himself straight into the fountain water.

Within seconds, Rum was drowning from his own exhaustion, and Elrith in front of him was struggling hard to get out from under him. He felt somebody pull him by his numb and unresponsive legs. GASP! Rum was dragged out of the fountain and onto the dry sunbaked streets. As he spat out water, he also heard another gasp of breath and saw the dwarf man fish Elrith out.

"WHAT– " Elrith made several gasps, "–WAS THAT ABOUT!" She looked at him in shock while continuing to try and breath properly. Rum still couldn't stand up, but at least he could, barely, speak. "Sorry" he made out in-between his own heaving breathing. "It was Self-Running Legs". Elrith looked at him, still shocked and clearly uncomprehending. After a few more breaths, Rum was able to give her the short version. "It's a spell. Forces my legs to take me to a location. After it's over, I can no longer stand up straight." Elrith just shook her face and commenced with trying to squeeze water out of a shirt she was wearing.

For a minute Rum just laid there, trying to regain his strength. Elrith, the dwarves and the human were talking between themselves meanwhile, but Rum didn't really hear what exactly they were saying. Finally, Rum rolled over, and pushed himself to sit on his knees to face the party.

"Your mage is here." He smiled, and bowed on his knees in front of what he hoped was going to be his party. His attempt at a bow was a bit shaky from his exhaustion, but it was showing the respect that he was trying at. Especially since The Heart-Piercer was currently not a in a good mood.

Elrith continued squeezing water out of her shirt, while giving Rum angry glances.

As Rum was starting to get his strength back he attempted to stand, and somewhat, he succeeded. His legs were a bit off balance though, and his attempt to stand looked for the first few seconds like a severely drunk person, shambling while trying to improvise a dance.

"I got your spell, Heart-Piercer." He finally managed to say, putting both his hands at his sides, steadying himself, and trying to project pride and confidence.

At the turn of topic, Elrith managed to forgot about the fountain. "You did?" Stunned surprise came over her face.

"I told I would, didn't I! I have created a spell which will shield your minds against confusion. Your heads are now safe with me, and safe from the evil witches." Rum nodded enthusiastically at his own words, a prideful smile on his face.

"Well that's good, isn't it guys?" Elrith turned expectantly towards her fellow party members. They all looked up at Rum, eyebrows raised, but nodding with approval.

"What about the lightning magic? You have a spell against that too right?" the armored human asked, revealing a puny voice hiding behind his battle-ready gear.

"Uuum" Rum suddenly, and quite instantly, lost all the pride he'd just felt. A pained expression creeping onto his face. "Sorry, no, I forgot about that one. I was just so caught up with the complexity of this mind restoring spell that I totally forgot about the anti-lightning spell. But surely that is not that important, you just have to avoid stepping into the traps, right?" Rum tried for an awkward smile. The crowd was not buying it. Elrith's face went from positive surprise to mild disappointment.

"That is not good to hear Rum" she said disapprovingly. "That spell would've been very useful. And without that you're not upholding our deal. Didn't we agree on two spells for today? Both of them? I'm not sure we can take you with us now that you only have one of the spells we need. And you're so low level."

Rum's face twisted, and a very insecure smile started occupying his face. "Well I don't think you can get this spell anywhere else. This is a really good spell. If you think you might get hexed by those witches, nobody would be there to help you."

Elrith just shook her head in reply.

"Okay but look: I can be very useful. I have powerful magic, I promise! Magic that is much more powerful than my level would suggest. I have even gotten paid hundreds of gold coins for a single cast of a spell once, and it was a spell that I made! I'm a good investment for your party, I really mean it. Take me with you today! And I'll make up for my deficiencies in other ways."

"Hundreds of gold?" Elrith looked at him skeptically. "Prove it. How can a spell from a level eight mage be worth that much?"

"You see…" Rum hesitated to continue, trying to figure out how he was going to prove his point. "The spell is a bit problematic you see. I've refrained from using it for good reasons. It's just a little bit too good."

Elrith rolled her eyes and pointed at Rum. "I smell a liar" her subsequent stare was ice cold. "If you can't prove this spell, can we even expect that you actually made a spell against confusion magic? If you can't prove it, you are just words."

"Yes but… I will need a target to cast it on, and well… Do you really want me to prove it to you?"

Elrith made a slow nod, a commander's firm expression on her face. Rum sighed a little nervously.

"O-kay. I will show you." Rum pointed his finger at Elrith, and before she could say anything, he uttered the phrase. "Positive Mind."

A golden-yellowish misty stream of magic flew from Rum's hand, through the air, straight towards and around Elrith's head. A little golden cloud materialized into existence, lasting for but a fragment of a moment, before violently being sucked in through Elrith's nose, ears and mouth that was quickly gapping from the invasion. And as soon as it had all entered her, it was all done and gone. Elrith slowly blinked her eyes repeatedly, then shook her head and made several twitches of her nose, tongue flickering in her mouth. Finally, she appeared to regain some control over herself, and looked towards the group, Rum included, a big happy smile making its way across her face.

"What was this spell? I feel so… optimistic. So much ENERGY! Is this joy?" Elrith's demeanor took on a dazed form, like she was partially stuck in a happy day-dream, floating on a soft pink cloud.

"What did you do to her?" a rough deep voice erupted. Rum turned, and saw that his interrogator was the same dwarf man who'd pulled Rum and Elrith out of the fountain.

"Yeah, what did you do to me mage?" Elrith echoed. "I don't recall feeling like this just a moment ago. Your magic. It changed my mind somehow. I'm feeling lighter, brighter, but also distant, as if I can't properly sense myself, or focus."

The entire party looked at Rum with brewing hostility, and the wizard couldn't help but just grab his face, and drag his hand across it dejectedly.

"Positive Mind" he eventually said between fingers, "is a spell which does what it sounds like" he removed his hand. "It makes a person feel, sort-of happy, whether they really are so or not. I don't entirely understand how it works myself, but through testing I believe it forces the subject to mainly focus on positive – that is, optimistic – thoughts. People with a negative mind may feel like they're not really present in their own heads because of this, since they are unable to express their negative individuality. Positive Mind magically induces hopefulness, a belief that things are or will soon become good, and consequently it will make people feel like what they're doing is valuable, that they themselves do good things. In other words it makes people diligent, and more likely to trust themselves and others."

"Somehow" Elrith spoke hazily, "even when I hear my mind has been tampered with, I don't feel bad about that. It is strange, but I feel good about this. So, this has to be a good spell right? Is this what people would pay hundreds of gold for? I think I understand why."

"Actually" Rum began again, taking on a lecturing tone, "you guys should probably not tell anybody about this spell, because I know for a fact that some people will do crazy stuff for this magic. When you get back to yourself Elrith, you'll probably feel a lot different about this spell. And at that time, you will probably also understand that most people wouldn't want this spell cast on themselves. But, if they are the wrong kind of person: they might want it cast on others. Spouses in bad relationships might want to cast it on each other, or bad parents on their children. But as it suppresses the personality of the person, it can really be as much of a cruel spell for those want to make others cooperate more with them, as it can be a remedy for those who suffer illnesses of the mind. It's not an evil spell, just a spell with a lot of evil potential and few known genuinely good uses."

Everyone went quiet for a bit as Rum finished explaining, and for a few moments nobody said anything at all. Elrith broke the silence. "Well, should we go to the dungeon then. No business just standing around here all day, is there?" She took on a big happy smile, swung the crossbow over her back, and started walking down the streets in the direction leading out of town.

"Oh" Rum was surprised. "So – I'm in then? I made it into the party?" He started walking slowly after her, with a small smile as if already expecting a positive answer. Everyone else besides Elrith just glanced at him, not knowing what to say.

"Your spell is quite impressive I must say, and you have that anti-confusion spell right? I don't see why not! Stroll along mage!" she shouted. "And help us bash in some skulls!" Excitement filled up her face.

Maybe a bit too much excitement, Rum realized.

Gradually, one by one, the others decided to tag along, not knowing exactly how to deal with this situation as long as Elrith was in her special magical state.

The party walked out and past the city gates which marked the end of the walled section of the city, and headed south along a highway.

The city had since the walls had been erected grown immensely, and the outer portions of the city was in Rum's generation much larger than the inner. Out here were many new settlers, historically speaking. Among these and in the distance on the left side of the highway, was the dwarven quarter. It surrounded a mini-mountain called The Little Mountain, into which much of the housing and shops were also carved. But that was far away, and only truly visible precisely because it was a mountain. In front of it and closer to the highway was another quarter though: the quarter of the mecha gnomes, which was known as The Iron City. It consisted of a sea of small houses stacked on top of each other, along with some truly tall dark metallic buildings, and with a network of magically enhanced iron horses transporting the gnomes at speed between the different portions of their settlement. Each one of these iron horses, which they called "locomotives" Rum had heard them termed, rode on a trail of iron bars, powered by steam pressure, and even let the gnomes travel quickly to and from the city gates despite the distance being rather far.

As Rum's gaze slid over the the right side of the highway, he saw in the distance the quarter of another group of gnomes. The wild gnomes. They had their enclave in the last and perhaps largest quarter of them all: the quarter of the wood elves, both of these kin living in what was termed The City Forest. Wild gnomes were pretty much the opposite of their mecha gnomish relatives, as they preferred solitary lives in small communities deep in forests or sometimes adjacent to human villages. These gnomes lived the simple life, being highly protective of animals, up and to the point that human villagers would be abducted and tried for crimes against animal-kind if it became known to the wild gnomes that they'd been mistreating their pets or herds. And the wild gnomes always knew, Rum remembered the stories, because they were excellent spies that would watch over the activities of humans in the countryside and city alike. Devious and crafty, they would recruit little children who to tell on their parents or anyone else in the household or neighbourhood, who would mistreat a house pet or part of a herd. The wood elves, meanwhile was the second major elven population in Ermos City, apart from the Olam elves, and were a tall, patient, nature-loving people who cultivated gardens of exotic plants, and lived occassionally in giant trees onto which they shaped most of their houses, usually on giant boughs. Only some wood elves chose to live on the ground. The wild gnomes for their part, had their burrows hidden well in-between bushes and under the trees. The City Forest was clearly visible in the distance, with its name quite appropriate, as it appeared exactly as it was named: a giant forest surrounded by the city.

Rum knew the history of all of these kin in Ermos City, he'd learned about them in lessons on dungeon history, which had been a part of his Magical History class. All of these peoples came to settle here to escape the proliferation of the dungeon lords to the south, which had invaded their original habitats and filled it with roaming undead, goblin bands, and hostile monsters and -beasts. Over the last hundred years The Lost Cities – the remains of which were filled with the subjects of the dungeon lords, among them survivors who'd switched sides – had grown their influence to squeeze out any remaining free settlements. The only populations still known to inhabit that area around the three lost cities, was in this generation only a few villages and small towns which had been made into miniature fortresses, and who were patrolled by low- and medium level guild parties, with some additional security from counter-raids ran by the guilds. This fact reminded Rum that Jorteg's Dungeon was one of the newer dungeons that had been threatening to expand The Desolate Lands, as they were collectively known, to reach even further up north. The first few recent undead raids into remote villages associated with Ermos City had already began, and were rumored to come from Jorteg's Dungeon. The information he carried about this though was roughly ten years old, but it had been a great disturbance in the city at the time. And now, ten years later, much time had passed since those first reports of undead raiding parties crossing the boundaries of The Ermos Forest and the grasslands surrounding it.

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The party – Rum's party? – had now been walking down the highway for some time, heading south. On his left side The Little Mountain had become just a little bit closer, and The Iron City just a little closer. Rum could hear now the sounds of fast-moving locomotives, and see smokes and fire rising into the air, creating thick dark cloudy trails along as they moved. These iron-horses and their iron wagons which they pulled were not very big, only large enough for the gnomes to use. Keeping pace behind Elrith's fast gait, Rum got the opportunity to see one locomotive as it came towards him on other side of the highway, with a speed that broke the air itself, creating a sudden gust of wind stumbling the nearby pedestrians. The last wagons rushing passed, Rum witnessed groups of younger mecha gnomes screaming in delight, their little gloved fists up in the air like they were cheering on the iron-horse itself. Their sounds of joy could be heard for some time behind him, along with the stressed mechanical sounds of the locomotive. As the noises grew distant though, Rum's gaze moved. There not too far away, Rum took in the sights of tall trees and green forest. He sucked in a breath, and let out in a quiet appreciation. It was sights such as these that made him truly feel like he once again lived in cosmopolis.

After a while the wizard took his gaze off the horizon and looked behind himself. There followed the two dwarves of the party, side by side. With everyone walking close, Rum occasionally caught them glancing at him. When he returned their looks, they just kept staring, sometimes raising eyebrows at him. When they weren't staring, they'd often small-talk to each other about the people on the highway. About the merchants, the farmers, and the other armed groups, which were typically other guild parties.

Behind the dwarves in turn, and furthest in the back, walked the heavily armored human man with his spear and -shield. Rum figured the man would probably have more in common with him than with the dwarves, since they were both male and both human. But on further consideration he also thought about how different the lives of mages and non-mages were, and that perhaps the human couldn't really identify with Rum, and this kept him at a distance. Either way, Rum felt like everyone were more or less walking by themselves, except for the dwarf duo. What a lonely party.

They marched on for about another half hour at least before they reached the end of the city's densely populated areas. There were still a significant amount of people walking the highway, but they were mostly either coming from far away settlements or returning to them. The city itself and its people were rapidly becoming something behind the party.

Speaking of Rum's new party, Elrith suddenly stopped. Rum stopped as well, and so did the others, like a cascade. Rum stepped up to woman and around her back, trying to meet her. Elrith had a strange look on her face, like as if severely constipated, or possibly thinking about something really difficult. When after a few seconds she met Rum's innocent smiling face, her expression turned into a frown.

"Why am I here?" The words came out so sharp, her nickname Heart-Piercer echoed behind them.

"You wanted to go to the dungeon? Right?" Rum continued smiling innocently.

"Okay. Let me rephrase that. Why are you walking with me to the dungeon. Wasn't I really mad about you for some reason?"

"Oh" Rum dropped his smile. He figured this is could've happened, although he'd been hoping it wouldn't. Not in this way, anyways. The rest of the party came over too, gathering around the mage and the crossbow carrying woman.

"Are you back Heart-Piercer?" asked the armored man.

"She seems to be back to her usual self" responded the dwarf woman, while searching Elrith's face.

The Heart-Piercer ignored them in return. She stared at Rum, menace in her glare.

"Elrith," Rum started cautiously, "I was asked of you to demonstrate a very powerful, very valuable spell that I had. You insisted. And so I demonstrated it. It just seemed natural that the target of the demonstration would also be the one requesting the demonstration. Now that you've tried my spell for like, say, an hour – two hours? What do you think?" Rum tried for a smile again. "It's pretty cool huh? It totally changed your attitude for this whole time. Nothing but happy determination for the dungeon dive!"

Elrith took slow steps up to Rum. She sighed heavily, and buried her face in her right palm. Then, out of nowhere, she punched Rum straight into his testicles. Rum collapsed instantly onto his knees, a moan of pain trying to escape. Elrith waited for nothing though but hit him again with her left hand, this time straight to the nose. The wizard was momentarily knocked back, before he grabbed his face. He turned on his knees and began to crawl away from the woman with haste, before hastily getting up and stumbling to his feet.

"Have anyone ever tried to tell you before" she hissed, "not to use magic on them, without explicit permission!?"

"It might've been mentioned once or twice in my life." Rum said through a bloody nose.

"Then don't do that again, EVER! If I ask you to demonstrate, but I don't know what I'm asking for, then you first explain it to me, and NOT JUST CAST THE SPELL AT ME WITHOUT PROPER WARNING!" She walked up to Rum and started kicking him in his sides. This didn't hurt Rum much, but it did seem to let off steam from Elrith's anger. After a few kicks, she finally stopped, sighing with annoyance. She turned and marched back up to her party.

"Okay. First things first people. This idiot is an idiot." She threw a finger back at Rum. "But – I can't deny his magic could come quite in handy." She sighed again, less frustrated. "Who here would want this idiot to join our party on a probationary basis. If he does well on this dungeon dive and the next, he's in. If not, his level eight ass can go join up with Ermos' Finest Adventurers, and start from the bottom killing roaming skeletons."

All the party members looked over at Rum. They eyed him, weighed him, judged him.

"But we don't even know what other spells he got?" asked the armored man. "Maybe that spell is the only thing he's good at?"

"A good point" Elrith nodded, and glanced over at Rum. "What other spells do you actually have, mage?"

Rum stood up and mumbled words to himself. "Restore Body." A green misty light flowing out from all across his body, and directing themselves towards Rum's nose and testicles. As the healing took hold under the stare of the others, Rum also cast "Clean Body" for extra measure.

"I got a variety of potentially useful spells." Rum said. "They are mostly aimed at survival out in the wilds though, or convenience. But, with a bit of creativity, I imagine they could find surprisingly many uses both inside- and outside the dungeons."

"And they are?" Elrith questioned impatiently.

"Let me recall..." Rum began outlining them.

Rum's Mental Spellbook

Cool Body

  • Cools down an individual's body.

Warm Body

  • Heats up an individual's body.

Body Thicken

  • Makes an individual larger in every dimension by temporarily adding fat and various extra tissue.

Skin Toughen

  • Makes an individual's skin harder to penetrate, for instance by means of piercing, cutting or scratching.

Muscles Grow

  • Makes an individual significantly stronger.

Clean Body

  • Cleans an individual's whole body.
  • Cleans clothes or cloth-like items (for instance bags or bed sheets).

Renew Clothes

  • Repairs clothes or cloth-like items (for instance bags or bed sheets).
  • Gives a new appropriate design to the clothes or cloth-like items (for instance bags or bed sheets).

Positive Mind

  • Makes an individual gain confidence in the future, in others and in themselves, leading to a potentially excessively optimistic attitude that steers the individual's mind to narrowly focus on the benefits of a situation.
  • Is prone to make individuals become seemingly diligent, brave and short-sighted because of their excessive belief in their own agency and the future.
  • Impedes the expression of particularly negative character traits of individuals, potentially leading to temporary partial personality death.

Restore Mind

  • Removes effects that impede the efficient functioning of the mind, including diseases of the mind/brain or magical curses.

Clear Mind

  • Makes an individual more clear-headed.
  • Can make an individual seem more intelligent by making it easier for the individual to engage in intelligence-based tasks such as abstract pattern-recognition and systematic thinking.

Self-Running Legs

  • Magically takes control of an individual's legs, and forces the legs to run towards some destination.
  • Is prone to make the individual run beyond their physical capacity, causing them to become severely exhausted and potentially become unconscious from exhaustion.
  • While never witnessed, there is a real possibility that this spell could make an individual run itself to death if the individual is unable to stop the spell.

Restore Body

  • Heals simpler injuries, such as broken legs, cuts, scratches and bruises.
  • Removes most of the effects of less severe conditions, such as the common cold, migraines or tired nerves.
  • Effective against blood loss and skin tissue damage.

Filter Body

  • Makes an individual's body into the perfect filter for harmful substances. Anything the spell deems abnormal for a body becomes separated from it and is rushed out through available nearby orifices, such as mouth, nose, ears and other openings of the body.

Magic Blanket

  • Spawns a thin magically sustained layer of see-through fabric that is bound to the casting mage's mana, draining it very slowly while in existence.

Magic Shoes

  • Spawns a thin set of magically sustained shoes that are bound to the casting mage's mana, draining it very slowly while in existence.

Softify

  • Makes any surface significantly softer to lean on or touch by means of distributing magically sustained fabric that is bound to the casting mage's mana, draining it slowly while in existence.

Channel Bio-Energy

  • Instantly burns biological energy, for instance fat and carbohydrates, turning it into freely manipulatable energy, which can for instance be used to make sparks for a fire.

Beast of Burden

  • Transforms a person into someone capable of pulling or carrying very large items, very heavy items, or very many items.
  • The individual's strength, and the constitution of their bones, drastically increases at the cost of dexterity and intelligence. The body and mind all organize under the principle of acting like an ideal beast of burden, causing the individual's mind to focus intensely on their task of carrying.
  • May be used to make slaves and captives more cooperative as the intense focus of the spell may undermine rebellious thinking.
  • There is a possibility that an individual will try to carry something for which their body – not even with magically reinforced bones and muscles – is capable of carrying. And as a consequence, in the worst scenarios; people may even come to crush themselves to death.

Make Rotten Edible

  • Restores most of the edibleness of recently rotted food.

Make Water Drinkable

  • Purifies contaminated or dirty water until it becomes mostly drinkable.

Mana Ghost

  • Creates a magical body that can study a living being, or the magics of a living being, and convert its essential characteristics into a form of mana known as a "mana ghost".
  • May briefly paralyze a none-magical person being mana-ghosted, or even a magical person with little control of their own mana.

"Of course all these spells have variable levels of effect depending on how much mana I put into them. For instance the Positive Mind-spell that I cast on you I only gave the bare minimum of magic, which made it last for a little over an hour. With a larger dose of mana, the spell can last for several days."

The party were quite overwhelmed by the details of Rum's magical arsenal. Not that it was much of an arsenal, he didn't really have any offensive spells per se. But if worst came to worst he could do things like force a person to run to the other side of the world, which could kill them unless they had incredible endurance. He was also a big guy, so if he wanted to he could use his Muscles Grow and Body Thicken spells to overwhelm somebody else with his strength and mass, while protecting himself against their weapons with Skin Toughen. At best his offensive arsenal consisted in wrestling people to the ground, or literally force them to run away. I could punch someone though, if push comes to shove. That's pretty violent?

"Okay" Elrith finally said, her expression appearing a fuzzy from all the information. "That's a lot of spells you have. I notice that there aren't any offensive spells though? And your defensive spells seem not that useful to people with armor and weapons. But I like a healing spell. Even if it seems a bit limited, it would cut down on our potion-consumption, which is an economic nightmare. We all know how potions can turn an profitable dungeon dive into the start of a debt trap."

"But don't just think about the spells I have now people!" Rum began adding. "Remember Elrith, I wanted to come with you guys to make more spells. I'm a spellcrafter! Maybe this dungeon will teach me my first offensive spell, even."

Elrith nodded a little, but looked at her fellow party members, waiting for their opinions.

"I must say" the dwarf man began, "that you do seem a little bit useless Rum when it comes to fighting. But I listened carefully to the spells you described, and I hear a few there which could very well come in handy. Does Filter Body help against poisons?"

"Yes!" Rum exclaimed, happy to have reached an ear.

"Then you have my vote wizard Rum, at least for now."

"Okay people" Elrith began, "Rulli says he'd want Rum to join on probationary terms. Anyone else want to say yes, or no?" Elrith looked from the dwarf woman, back to the armored man, and back again to the dwarf.

"I suppose I agree with my husband" said the dwarf. "I would've wanted a bit more firepower from this guy. But at least his defensive spells should avoid us having to babysit him in the fight."

Elrith nodded at the argument.

"So Gilda is in… Darmon?" The Heart-Piercer looked to the armored guy.

"I guess I agree with the others. Would've wanted a better fighter, but not gonna lie. I'd be looking forward to not using so many healing potions, just for the minor scratches and cuts."

"Fine then!" Elrith produced a firm nearly-smiling expression for her party, before looking at Rum. "You are in then mage. For real this time. But before you get all too happy, let's get the paperwork done first eh, shall we?"

Elrith knelt down and fished out several rolls of paper from her backpack, spreading the first of them out across the bag to reveal the text. She also fished out a quill and a bottle of ink.

"Please read through and sign your name. I got these papers this morning, hoping you'd got both spells. But here we are nevertheless, and I'm thinking the same conditions as last. To summarize, you will have to join the guild we belong to, which is The Mecha Gnomes' Revenge."

Rum raised an eyebrow. "Is that really what it's called?"

"Yes, you haven't heard of it?"

"No, is it new?"

"I suppose. It's eighteen years old, but it started to get much bigger the last five, after the gnomes voted in Roovalup Gigalut as director. They mass-hired non-mecha gnomes after that, and poached parties from the other guilds. Long story short, they used to just be gnomes, but now we've gotten real big. The fourth largest dungeon guild Ermos, currently. Aiming to be largest, too."

"Okay" Rum tried to digest this piece of information. He tried to imagine the implications of working for the mecha gnomes.

"I promise you that working for the mecha gnomes can be very beneficial. Every six months we have The Great Zerg. Since you haven't heard of that, I suppose I'll have to explain what that is. Imagine a raid, the largest raiding party you have ever seen, the size of an army. Everyone from the lowest to the highest level adventurer can join to completely bust a dungeon. We eradicate anything and anyone evil inside. Best of all, we're all paid to join! It's a very good opportunity for the low levels like yourself. The first ten to twenty levels are brutal financially." She looked over at her party members. "We all remember that life." She looked back at Rum. "Unless you got a rich uncle to sponsor you, it's a hard period, lots of danger, and very little reward."

"A zerg... interesting" Rum commented. "Though I'm not sure zergs are a thing for me. I mean, that's basically like participating in a larger battle right? Would be difficult to get anything spellcrafting done in those situations. I think." And he did think about it, stroking his beard.

"We have other benefits as well. The mecha gnomes have deals with the dwarves, so we can buy extra cheap metal gear from them. Very good for low and mid level adventurers. Of course, as a mage you don't use much weapons or armor. Hmm. Actually I can't really think of many benefits that are aimed at mages. But anyways, this is a great guild and we also have feasts where the lowbies are welcome to join. You get to meet many high levels there."

Rum considered this, evaluating the worth of signing. "Let me just read it myself, and see if it's something for me. Is it this paper here it?" he picked up the first paper roll which'd been spread out on Elrith's backpack. "This is about the guild membership?"

"Yeah, that's the one. There's also one here about the probationary membership with my party. And there's another one for you to report your party membership to the guild." She held up the two other paper rolls.

Rum quickly read through all the paperwork. Nothing particularly bad stood out to him, besides a guild initiation fee of one gold which he had to pay within a month of joining, a duty to report loot to the guild with an accompanying ten percentage guild tax on the market value of the loot, and a duty to report annually for an assessment of character level. Interestingly enough, people below level twenty were exempt from reporting loot and paying guild tax for the first two years of their membership, as long as the loot wasn't particularly valuable. Probably part of the mass-recruitment initiative Elrith talked about.

Rum signed all the paperwork. He also promised Elrith to go visit the guild headquarters in The Mecha Gnome Quarter, which was also nicknamed The Iron City, from its architecture with widespread use of metal as building material.

And thus, with paperwork signed, guild membership to be made official, and probationary membership in a dungeon crawling party established, Rum and his new buddies-to-be continued down the highway. Unfortunately for Rum, he discovered that it was much more than a day's walk. And he had no food, and nothing to sleep on.

Being an experienced hobo, these were not major obstacles to him, but it wasn't as if he enjoyed begging his new party for food either, or sleeping with only his robe to cover him, under the stars.

At a some point their journeyed crossed over into grasslands, and then they reached a forest. Crossing it, they finally arrived: at the mouth of Jorteg's Dungeon.


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