Netkama Punch!!!

"Did you really get chewed out just for skipping the office dinner?"
[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: Yeah.

"That’s ridiculous."
It was the weekend starting tomorrow, so the moment I got home, I tore into the chicken gift card Shin Heejae sent me, then casually started dungeon running.
Before I knew it, it was around 2 a.m., and since there were no more dungeons left to run, I switched to gathering mode and let the macros take over while chatting.

The topic of the night: my absolute hellhole of a job. Thanks to Kim Namgu, I was still seething, and I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
And yet, Shin Heejae—who probably never worked a day in his life—was somehow dropping analogies so on-point it kept me ranting without even realizing.
"You said you can’t drink, right?"

Heejae said that while punching a nearby goblin with his fists. I took a break to sit and type.
[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: Even the admin officer can’t drink at all but still has to go ㅡㅡ...

"You the youngest one there?"
[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: Yeah.

"Then yeah, it’s a power move... Old farts always get insecure around younger people."
Honestly, our center’s crowd of 40s and 50s were total boomers, and I agreed by having [Sesam] nod in-game.
Especially the way they treated the public service workers. The current guy's pretty laid-back and fast with his hands, so he doesn’t get nagged, but the one before him—the big guy—actually got into shouting matches with some of the officials.

That got me thinking... Shin Heejae must be near conscription age, right?
[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: Did you get your military physical?
But unlike how he usually answered within three seconds, this time, Shin Heejae hesitated. His character even stopped moving.

I teased him again, thinking maybe he got a public service exemption. I served as an active-duty soldier myself, after all.
[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: Don’t tell me you’re ★ 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ★ a Kinggongik? lol

Then Heejae answered quietly.
"I'm exempt."
[Whisper to general party clan friend]

P-Sesam: For real?
P-Sesam: How do you even get exempt??
It was such a casual question.

But then, once again, Shin Heejae went completely silent.
Right then, I assumed it must be something he was deeply insecure about. After all, you can’t just get exempt from military service without a pretty serious issue.
‘He looks totally fine on the outside though…’

I was in the middle of these rude thoughts when Heejae suddenly said in a flat, unreadable voice:
"I’m an orphan."
[Whisper to general party clan friend]

P-Sesam: Kinda figured lol
I typed that reply, waiting for him to crack a joke.
I mean, I thought he was kidding.

But Heejae said nothing.
Just click. Or tap-tap. The sound of mouse clicks and keyboard skills kept playing softly, but he never followed it up with a “Kidding, obviously,” or something like that.
"...Wait. No way. Seriously?"

I swallowed hard, growing increasingly uneasy.
[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: Wait, are you serious?

"Huh?"
Heejae answered bluntly.

My jaw dropped. And then the cold sweat started pouring down my back like a waterfall.
...How the hell was I supposed to recover from that?
Sure, the “public service?” “how’d you get exempt?” parts could’ve been brushed off as me not knowing. But saying you looked like it...?

[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: For real...?
My mind went completely blank. I had no idea how to salvage this. Even my character, who had been gathering, came to a full stop.

[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: I didn’t know... It’s just that...
Then Heejae chuckled and said teasingly,

"You're flustered, huh?"
"……."
"But you know, it’s not like having no mom or dad is that rare."

I realized he was trying to let it slide, and I quickly replied.
[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: Yeah, true

Still, the guilt and awkwardness refused to go away.
Once I shut my mouth, silence fell between us again. Heejae just kept grinding monsters for a while, then, probably trying to break the mood, spoke in his usual sleazy tone.
"Well, it’s fine. I’m gonna marry you anyway."

"……."
"I’m thinking two kids... What do you think?"
Normally, I’d cuss him out for something like that, but right now I was the guilty one. Heejae saw me staying quiet and burst into laughter.

"You really feel bad, huh? Can’t even say a word."
"……."
"You’re surprisingly softhearted."

I guess I wanted to ease the guilt. Just the fact that I thought maybe he was joking...
[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: Are you messing with me, you piece of shit?

"Nope? I’ve got no parents and I’m gonna marry you so I can make my own family."
[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: Then why—

"What, you think I’m the kind of guy who drops the ‘I’m an orphan’ card just to get sympathy?"
"……."
"Wow... so that’s what you think of me…"

[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: No
P-Sesam: I just meant why didn’t you say anything...

Heejae didn’t let up, watching me squirm.
"I got bullied for being from a group home, too."
"……."

"Sob sob... You’re so mean."
Then he started fake crying on purpose. It was such an obviously acted out “boohoo,” but that didn’t stop the pang of guilt stabbing my conscience.
"Ah, fuck…"

"If you just gave me a hug, I bet it’d heal my heart…"
"……."
It was clear he was trying to play it off all light and jokey, like none of it mattered. But… I still felt uncomfortable, staring at my monitor.

Because acting like it’s no big deal—that weird in-between of sincere and joking—made it worse. Like he was deliberately putting emotional distance between us using his own trauma. And as someone who’s worked in counseling, I knew: just because someone seems cheerful doesn’t mean they’re fine.
Eventually, I sighed and asked,
[Whisper to general party clan friend]

P-Sesam: What do you mean you got bullied?
Heejae’s fake crying paused for a beat. He looked a little taken aback but answered reflexively,
"They used to beat me up for always wearing the same clothes."

[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: Fucking scum
"Aw, you’re getting mad for me?"

Heejae laughed like it was all ancient history, but the guy’s only 21. The more I thought about it, the heavier my heart felt.
After a while, I hesitated, then finally pressed the [Hug] emote and sent it to him.
"What’s this?"

[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: You said a hug would heal your wounds ㅡㅡ
P-Heejae: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

"God, you’re hilarious."
Heejae just kept laughing. He cackled like it was the funniest shit in the world, but of course, he still accepted the hug before the timer ran out.
It was the first time I’d ever accepted one of his stupid hug requests, even though he’d sent dozens before.

Watching our characters pat each other’s backs made me cringe, but... what could I even do?
I scratched at my flushed neck and snapped at him.
[Whisper to general party clan friend]

P-Sesam: Gross. I regret it already.
P-Heejae: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Heejae was still giggling in chat, but then his voice quieted again, and silence crept back in. Suddenly, he asked me,

"Do you feel sorry for me?"
"……."
"Should’ve told you sooner, huh?"

"……."
"Guess all I need to do is shed a tear or two and we’ll be dating in no time."
Even though that [Hug] had been a genuine act of goodwill, Shin Heejae’s words were laced with sharp little barbs. Of course, they didn’t really sting. He was clearly playing it off like nothing to protect his pride.

And I couldn’t say I didn’t understand that.
So even though it annoyed me, I let out a long sigh and typed,
[Whisper to general party clan friend]

P-Sesam: Not really; I’m estranged from my parents too.
P-Sesam: Don’t even wanna see them.
"……Why?"

Heejae asked a beat later.
[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: I’m stuck with all their debt, lol

Thinking about the hundred million won I owed made me fall silent for a moment.
Student loans were one thing, but I also took on debt from my parents’ failed business. So at just 24 years old, I was already a hundred million in the hole. Right now I was only managing to pay off the interest. Eventually, I’d have to pay the principal too.
And it’s not like they respected me either. I was only their son when they needed my name on a contract. The rest of the time, even if I was rotting away working late nights at a convenience store, I’d get called trash if I didn’t show up to help on the weekends. Honestly, gaming was just an escape.

I didn’t even know if I was talking to him or just venting to myself at this point, but I kept typing.
[Whisper to general party clan friend]
P-Sesam: You know my personality. I’m not the type to let people walk all over me, right?

P-Heejae: True... ㅇ.ㅇ
P-Sesam: But you can’t do anything about family…
P-Sesam: Even when they’re absolute shit, if you live with them, you end up cleaning up their mess anyway

P-Sesam: …Still, I guess from your perspective, I sound pretty privileged
"…Not really."
Heejae fell silent after saying that, and we didn’t bring it up again until we both logged off.

And as soon as I shared my own story, I started to regret it. I guess I opened up so easily because I figured I’d never actually meet Shin Heejae. But personal stories build intimacy. And what the hell was I doing feeling sympathy for the guy I was supposed to use and discard?
‘I was careless…’
Why did I do that? I should’ve just comforted him a bit and left things vague. But I let my guard down just because he said he got bullied at a group home—even though I didn’t even know if he was telling the truth!

"Fucking hell… Why am I sympathizing with a guy who makes a million a month…? He still came out on top, didn’t he?"
Muttering to myself, I laid down on the bed—but of course, I couldn’t fall asleep and ended up tossing and turning.