Natasha the Halve

The next day I woke up early as usual, around six in the morning. I did a bit of yoga and calisthenics for an hour, then quietly woke Lapia up.

The Elf opened her eyes and glared at me. “Why so early?” She demanded.

“Alyssa healed you last night, time to seize the day,” I replied with a chuckle and gently pulled her out of the clutches of the bed. “Plus, I was thinking we could make a really nice breakfast for Yolin.”

She sighed and hugged my neck. “You need to learn how to cook, sunshine,” she complained and wrapped her legs around my waist.

“I know,” I sighed and walked out of the room with the Elf latching onto me. I closed the door, making sure it made no sound, and continued, “That's why I woke you up.”

Lapia yawned and cleared her throat, then rested her head on my shoulder. “I see,” she muttered. “What do you have in mind?”

I carried her to the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Pancakes, a yummy porridge, maybe пирожки́, fruit juice-”

“What's that?” My girlfriend interrupted with a confused face.

I smiled and explained what it was. Although I never made them myself, I ate them regularly when I was younger so I knew what they were made or... more or less.

Lapia thought for a moment and nodded. “Alright, I think it's doable. We have the ingredients.”

I nodded and gave her a smooch.

She giggled and returned the affection. “How did you sleep?”

“Pretty good,” I replied. “The dream was pretty... harsh this time, however.”

She took my face in her hands and looked me in the eye. “Are you okay?” She asked with a worried face.

My tummy warmed up and I nodded. “Yeah, I am,” I assured her in all honesty.

She nodded and let me go. “That's all that matters to me,” she commented with a smile and gestured at the kitchen counter. “Let's get this done.”

“So, the porridge,” I continued with a nod. “We'll need milk, honey, butter, a bit of salt, water, and...” I thought for a second. “Uh...”

Lapia chuckled and placed a hand on my cheek. “Did you forget the ingredient?”

I shook my head. “I don't know the word in Common,” I admitted.

“Try other languages?” She offered.

“Alforfón,” I tried with Earthen Tongue, or Spanish.

Lapia squinted at me.

“It's uh... like trigo, but not quite,” I supplied.

Her eyes widened a little and she smiled. “Ahh... got it,” she chuckled and opened a few shelves. “That's tho'kha, the name in Common is escaping me right now.”

“The curse of knowing more than three languages,” I lamented with a chuckle and leaned on the counter.

She turned and gave me an unimpressed face. “You know ten,” she pointed out.

I nodded. “Even worse sometimes.”

She laughed and got the ingredients out. “So,” she began, taking pots, bowls, and other utensils out. “How do we make these dishes?”

I shrugged. “No clue. I only know the ingredients.”

“Trial and error it is, then,” she sighed with a nod.

“That's right,” I agreed and stood next to her facing the counter. “Teach me your ways, oh wise Elf,” I joked.

She laughed and we got into making breakfast.

Forty minutes later, with faces and hands caked with ingredients, we finished the task at hand.

I may or may not have mistaken salt with sugar in more than six occasions, dropped a few eggs, forgot to get porridge grains out of the pan resulting in them getting burnt, and, if not for my resilient body, lost a few fingers on the process.

High dexterity can only do so much when you have no clue what you're doing, after all.

Lapia wiped her cheek with the back of her hand and let out a long sigh. “You're a difficult student, Natasha.”

“Well, it's not my fault salt and sugar look the same,” I defended myself.

“That's why you try them before using them,” she chastised me.

I nodded, having no excuse. “Right.”

She turned to the counter and muttered, “Looks good. We did a good job.”

I agreed. The porridge looked positively inviting, the пирожки́ turned out a bit soggier than I remembered but that's alright if one's not a purist, the pancakes turned out really good with Lapia's guidance, and the juice was freshly squeezed peach juice. We had added a few sausages and fried eggs.

All in all, a glorious success.

We also made enough for everyone.

Truly masters of the culinary arts.

Lapia's stomach rumbled, signaling the time to go have a shower and eat.

The door to our room opened and we turned to look.

Yolin got out while yawning.

I walked over and gave her a hug, then carried her back into the room.

The breakfast was a bit of a surprise, after all.

“What's going on?” The Oni complained but didn't fight back.

She'd lose even if she tried.

“Nothing,” I lied. “How about we take a warm shower?” I offered.

“Nothing?” She inquired with a raised eyebrow, then ran a finger over my cheek and inspected it. “What's all this flour?”

“Dabbling in dark alchemy,” I lied again with a straight face while carrying her to the bathroom. “You know, trying to find a cure to mortality and create artificial sentient life.”

“Please, don't let it be pancakes,” she whispered in defeat. “They could very well be classified as trying to create artificial sentient life,” she joked.

I giggled and tickled her as revenge for insulting my cooking skills.

“HAHAHA! NOO!” She laughed and tried to get away.

Alas, I am a Halve. There is no running away from me.

Lapia walked into the bedroom and woke Alyssa up, then we took a group shower.

I made sure their bodies were squeaky clean, and they made sure mine was as well.

We dried ourselves and got dressed.

Alyssa gathered the group while me and Lapia put the food on the table.

Yolin sat down and looked over the table, taking in the dishes. “This looks really good,” she laughed with a smile.

“It does,” Bonte commented with a yawn.

I sat down at the table and produced the box I got from the Queen, then opened. The thing had a very big portion of cake inside.

That woman went above and beyond, I thought with a tight smile.

“Oh?” Alyssa perked up at seeing the dessert.

I moved the treat from the box to a plate and handed it over to the Luzo. “Could you cut it?”

She nodded and put it next to her. She then got a knife out and cut it in equal pieces for everyone. Except for one that was slightly thicker than the rest.

Plates were filled with food and we ate.

“This is pretty good,” Yolin commented after trying the porridge.

I smiled and felt a wave of satisfaction run through my body. I tightened a fist and made a victory pose.

The Oni's eyes widened at my reaction. “You made this?” She asked in disbelief.

“Lapia helped,” I replied with a chuckle. “A lot.”

“These pancakes are really tasty,” Elena pointed out after a bite.

“I'm glad you like them,” I giggled and had a bit.

It was an absolute improvement.

Alyssa tried the cake and hummed, then looked into my eyes. “Where did you get this?”

“Got it from her Majesty the Queen,” I replied with a cocky smile. “She said the pastry chef is level eight hundred.”

“This is easily in the top five,” the Cleric muttered with a smile.

“Impressive,” Pokora muttered and drank some juice. “The food is awesome as usual,” she pointed out and continued eating with a smile.

Lapia nodded with a satisfied grin.

Thelea grabbed one of the пирожки́ and bit it. “Tastes like home,” she commented and put the entire thing in her mouth, chew, then swallowed. “Delicious.”

I shared a look with Lapia and we both smiled.

Massive dub for us.

After finishing, Bonte cleaned the dishes while chatting with Bromisnar about the food.

They were big fans of the porridge, singing praises and sharing jokes.

Slavic cuisine is the greatest! I joked in my mind while sitting in the living room.

Yolin sat on my lap and brushed my hair.

I hugged her waist and brought her closer to me, enjoying her hard body.

Like that, we lazed while cuddling and teasing each other, whispering sweet nothings, and giggling.

Half past eleven, Lapia sat next to us and placed a hand on our shoulders.

We turned to her and saw her smirking.

“It's time,” she announced with a mysterious voice.

Yolin and I nodded in understanding and stood up.

It was time, after all.

Alyssa walked out of the room after a power nap and gave each of us a nod.

We returned the gesture.

Pokora, who was drinking some juice in the kitchen witnessed the whole interaction.

“What was that?” She wondered out loud.

We walked past her and I gave her a cheeky smirk. “Classified, citizen. Move along,” I chuckled.

The Archer scoffed and shook her head.

Lapia turned to Pokora and opened her mouth.

I intercepted whatever was going to come out of her mouth with a kiss.

“We'll be right back, Pokh'Orra,” Alyssa informed her with a gentle smile.

“Have fun, then,” the woman in question replied with a shrug.

Thus, we left to fetch the sex toys.

While going down the stairs, Lapia turned to me with a raised eyebrow. “That was a fine chance to invite her, you know?”

I shook my head. “She'll think you're annoying if you constantly push.”

“Hooh?” Yolin spoke up and gave me a challenging smile. “How would you know?”

Alyssa looked at me with an intrigued expression.

I shrugged. “We had a talk after we met in Lakeview. I suspect she's not fond of being constantly courted.”

The three nodded in understanding.

“Fairly common,” Alyssa commented.

“Got rejected a few times because of that,” Lapia chuckled.

“Never has happened to me, but I get it,” Yolin laughed.

I gave Lapia an incredulous look. “You've been rejected?”

She shrugged and gestured at herself. “What can I say? Not everyone can handle this.”

The four of us laughed and joked on the way down.

When we reached our mounts Pyotr greeted us and joined the quest.

Once at the market, we dismounted and I told the bird to stay with the lizard.

“Bones!” He croaked and pecked Sonya's scales.

“Right,” I nodded and walked off. I'll see if there's a butcher nearby or something.

Yolin lead the way towards and into the shop, and we followed.

The same Dwarf welcomed us with a smile. “Good morning, dear customers,” he greeted with a small nod. “As discussed, we have the products ready for you. Please wait a moment,” he added and went into the store.

I was getting excited at the prospect of toys. Diamond cocks! I thought with a big smile. What will Alyssa come up with? What position will Lapia suggest? I can't wait for Yolin to use one on me with her strong arms!

Yolin had a big smile, too. The sex marathon she requested was going to start in a few hours if everything went according to plan.

I was going to make sure it would.

The Oni put an arm over the Luzo's shoulders and shook her hips in a little dance. “Can't wait!” She cheerfully laughed.

Lapia chuckled and hugged her waist. “Me neither,” she agreed.

“It'll be so fun!” Alyssa giggled with a big smile.

“Finally...” I sighed with a nod.

The Dwarf returned with a medium-sized box and placed it on the counter.

My heartbeat sped up.

“Alright, so,” he began and opened it. “Out of the thirteen pieces, we carved seven with the simple design along with four butt plugs as requested,” he announced with a polite smile. “We added four strap-on holders, they're on us as thanks for your patience and choosing our establishment.”

I salivated at his words. It was going to be a very fun four days.