Naruto: Ren the Sealmaster

Ren teleported back to the grassy plain of his secret training ground and instantly fell down in laughter as he unstrapped the orange mask and pulled it away from his face.

Part of it was the relief at Orochimaru's demise. Part of it was the relief that the invasion was almost over and Konoha was still standing. Part of it was the delight that his goals were met.

But he would be lying if he said that Hiruzen's expression was not another major part of why he was laughing like a hyena.

He knew it wasn't very nice to laugh at this. Especially not when he threw the death of his wife and the partial decimation of his village in his face. But Ren couldn't help it.

He was now certain that Konoha was not going to be overlooking Akatsuki even one bit. He kinda felt bad for Konan and that he would be throwing obstacles under the feet of her organisation, but as much as he found her beautiful, Ren also kept in mind that she was currently his enemy.

He wasn't going to hold back on her account. Anybody he could make pissed at the twerps desiring to end the world where he lived was an objective win in his book.

... It just prickled at him that he couldn't reveal the whole truth. If the movers and shakers knew about Zetsu's plan and took it seriously, this whole apocalypse scenario could have been avoided.

But it was too dangerous. Pein, Tobi, Zetsu. These three would certainly not take kindly to their identities and ploys being uncovered. Honestly, it would have been funny.

If Pein learned that Tobi was manipulating him, and Tobi learned that Zetsu was manipulating him?

They would have some exquisite reactions.

The problem was that these three would instantly turn the situation volatile, and chaos would ensue. They were too unpredictable to throw such a massive wench in their way.

Nagato could decide to forsake his plan of uniting the bijuu. Or he could decide to do it anyway because obviously, he is the one dude who knows best, right?

After all, it takes a special kind of arrogance to proclaim oneself a God, special eyes or not.

Tobi could turn petulant and start assassinating Kages or important council members of various villages. It would have been easy for him. And the world would have gone to shit because the villages would most definitely try to find a culprit. And since they would not succeed, they would need a scapegoat.

And Obito is a Uchiha.

Another ninja world war would have started right there and then.

The less said about Zetsu, the better. Ren didn't even want to know what kind of bullshit Zetsu could pull if properly motivated. No. Ren didn't want the plant guy to even suspect that somebody was onto his dear mommy's resurrection plan.

And those were just the first ideas of how things could go wrong that flashed through Ren's mind.

Nagato waged a war against Konoha alone, and if not for Naruto, he would have easily won.

Kabuto, Tobi, and Zetsu waged a war against the whole freaking shinobi world with the samurai from the Tetsu no Kuni in the mix for the kicks and giggles, and if not for Naruto, they would have won. Easily.

And Naruto, right now, was nowhere near ready to face these absolute monsters of the ninja world if they decided to rage across the countries.

No. Ren decided it was better not to poke these three just yet. Well, not much. He kinda felt like going to Amegakure and having a chat with Konan.

Shaking his head in amusement, Ren slowly stood up and stretched. He then looked toward the place where the unconscious Gaara and Temari lay, and a wry smile appeared on his lips.

Right. The invasion was not over, and he still had things to do.

Honestly. Why would somebody want to invade somebody else's village? It's so much work!

What foolish bullshit. It was not as if Konoha had a vast territory with rich natural resources. All it would mean is that there would be one less ninja village. But there would still be four more villages that would all try to fill the power vacuum.

Rather than trying to destroy Konoha, Rasa should have made some proper industry in his village and improved his relationship with his Daimyo.

Then again, most Kages were absolute morons.

Ren neared Temari and looked at her peaceful visage. His lips mischievously twitched. He previously restrained himself. But he was in too much of a good mood.

It was stronger than him.

His hand reached toward his pants.

And he pulled out... his sealing brush.

Ren grinned.

...

Hinata Hyuga caressed her sister's hair while lying on the ground in a crater, looking at the blue sky with her eyes closed.

She had said she would take a ten-minute break.

An hour and then some ago.

Her body was fully healed, back to its optimal state, half an hour ago.

And yet, she still felt as if her flesh was made of lead. Rising back to her feet felt like a monumental feat. Hinata decided that she would need to resume all those pesky mind exercises Ino was always doing. A major part of her current state rested on mental exhaustion.

The body was willing and raring to go, but the spirit was tired kind of thing. The Lightning Armor did not just speed up the body, but also the mind. And Hinata wasn't trained for it. She might have been clad in it for barely a minute, but her mind had experienced way, way more time passing during its acceleration.

And her brain was not ready for it. Hence, her current state where she felt like a puddle, feeling a massive aversion to moving.

Thankfully, she had her Byakugan and could see into the village. The only saving grace for Hinata was that they did not need her there. She had done her part. The other Konoha ninjas could do the rest, and they were indeed pushing the invaders out street by street.

Hinata suddenly tensed, her instincts blaring alarms at her, only to relax again when she noticed that Ren suddenly appeared behind her, holding a person under each of his armpits like a sack of potatoes.

"Oya, what do we have here? Is the Princess slacking?" Ren teasingly asked as he leaned above her and grinned at her.

"No. This Princess is doing a very important job." Hinata inclined her head back and lazily smiled at Ren. He raised his eyebrow at her, and she smugly smirked. "I am overseeing the peasants as they fight."

"Well, let me tell you a secret, then, Miss Overseer. If you look toward the western part of the village, there is this tall white building, you see." Ren started, and Hinata nodded, "There are a lot of peasants just lying around. All doing nothing. Slacking!"

"Oh~?" Hinata feigned interest and pursed her lips, "You mean the one named Hospital?" But the corner of her lips still betrayed her amusement as it twitched.

"Yes. Exactly that one." Ren nodded with an expression full of mock derision. "Tsk. Tsk. All these slackers should be sent to the frontlines as a punishment!"

"Even those who are missing a leg?" Hinata curiously asked, only for Ren to huff.

"Especially those! How dare they skip the leg day!?"

They stared at each other for a long, silent moment before they both burst into laughter. All the tension from the invasion bled out of them as Hinata closed her eyes in bliss, her smile widening as she looked over Ren's prisoners.

"Why does that blonde girl have a dick painted in the middle of her forehead?" She off-handedly asked, trying not to giggle.

"Eh. It's probably a new fashion trend in Suna. Even Panda-chan has one for some reason." Ren casually shrugged, and Hinata had the impression that one blonde girl was going to be very, very angry once she woke up and looked into the mirror.

But she was a Suna kunoichi, so in Hinata's opinion, fuck her.

"I see." Hinata sagely nodded as if that explained everything. "And I assume the dicks painted on her cheeks are the same."

Ren's eyebrow slightly twitched, but he didn't break a sweat as he lied with a straight face. "Probably."

"Makes sense."

"Wanna try it?"

"Dear," Hinata fondly sighed as she softly spoke, "if you try it, I'll gentle fist your posterior so hard that you will need a cushion to sit down for the next two months."

"Oh." That stopped Ren short, and his grin fell. But only for a brief moment before it was back even bigger than previously. He cast a small genjutsu, making his eyebrows bushier while wiggling them at her. "... Kinky."

"Of course. I was taught by the best." Hinata exasperatedly sighed, and without thinking, she decided to shoot some perverted flirting right back at him. "If I have to have a dick from you on my face, I want it to be the real dea-"

"Oh, my, Hina-chan~." Ren cut her off. "Already teaching your sister these things. You are making me embarrassed. I'll blush." He teased her, but his eyes beckoned toward Hanabi.

Hinata froze for a moment before she woodenly turned toward her sister, who was held in her arms. The same sister who looked to be peacefully asleep if one didn't look closer.

But Hinata was a Hyuga and Hanabi knew the gig was up. She slowly opened her eyes and tried to look innocent. Alas, her reddened cheeks were betraying her.

"Onee-chan..." Hanabi whined under the flat stare Hinata graced her with.

"Ugh." Hinata let out a helpless breath and muttered under her nose. "Fuck me." Only to cringe when she realized that, too, wasn't setting a very good example for her sister.

She blamed the bimbo! It was she who infected her with various curse words. The source of all evil. And she was a blonde, too, so it all fit!

"If you insist." Ren cheerfully decided to interject and break Hinata from her brooding. "Maybe in the evening, sweetheart?"

That only earned him an even more indignant squawk from Hinata and a scandalized, but in reality intrigued, gasp from her sister, who stared expectantly at both of them with wide eyes and clearly wanting to hear more.

Needless to say, Ren might have still been in his Tobi persona a little bit because he found the way Hinata was floundering in that moment, while blushing beet red, extremely hilarious.

---

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