Chapter 97: Chapter 97: The King of Konohagakure’s Brilliant Idea
At some point, the position of Hokage began to lose its original meaning.
Perhaps it started when a certain blond-haired child was picked up by human traffickers. Or maybe it was the day the Third Hokage took his first blood pressure pill.
In the past, becoming Hokage required earning the respect and approval of the village. That was one of the most fundamental criteria.
But now…
The most important qualification for becoming Hokage seemed to be the ability to keep a few of the village's troublemakers in check.
The position had turned into a hot potato, something no one wanted to hold.
When the Third Hokage died in battle, the village mourned. People couldn't help but long for the days of the Fourth Hokage and his wife.
---
Inside the Hokage's Office
Every influential jonin and the heads of the major clans had gathered, except for one conspicuously absent white-haired shinobi.
On the platform, the two Hokage advisors stood, ready to make an announcement.
"We hereby appoint Lady Tsunade as the Fifth Hokage!"
Cheers erupted among the crowd.
"Wonderful!"
"With Lady Tsunade, there's hope for Konoha!"
"Exactly! Lady Tsunade's strength is more than enough to deal with that blond troublemaker!"
The announcement brought smiles to everyone's faces.
Why?
Because during Jiraiya's recent stay in the village, not only had he failed to keep Naruto Uzumaki under control, but he had also caused even bigger messes. The villagers had completely lost faith in him.
Moreover, having Lady Tsunade as Hokage meant someone would finally reign in those two unruly master and student duo.
But the advisors weren't finished. After delivering the news, their expressions turned serious as they surveyed the room.
"Everyone..."
"We, the Hokage advisors, hereby announce our resignation."
Silence fell over the room.
The advisors turned to Hyuga Hiashi, the head of the Hyuga clan.
"Lord Hiashi, as the next potential Hokage advisor, do you have anything to say?"
Hiashi froze.
He had been deliberately keeping a low profile, yet somehow still found himself dragged into the spotlight.
After the Third Hokage's death, his first reaction had been fear—fear that the village would thrust the responsibility of Hokage onto his shoulders.
After all, as Naruto Uzumaki's prospective father-in-law, wasn't he the perfect candidate to deal with the boy?
The problem was…
He couldn't handle Naruto at all!
Just yesterday, in an attempt to protect him, he had told Naruto to leave the battlefield. He hadn't even finished his sentence before Naruto had kicked him aside.
Although Hiashi knew the boy was acting out of concern, he didn't appreciate being "cared for" in such a way.
And honestly…
If even a future son-in-law dared to kick his father-in-law, what wouldn't that blond troublemaker do?
Hiashi's fears were well-founded. If Tsunade refused to take the position, he was next in line.
Taking a deep breath, he finally spoke.
"The two advisors are wise and experienced," he said diplomatically. "This humble one believes I am unworthy of the role. The village still needs your guidance."
Nara Shikaku chimed in, supporting Hiashi.
"Exactly! No one else has the experience or capability of the two of you!"
The floodgates opened. Others joined in, praising the advisors and urging them to reconsider.
But everyone in the room knew the truth.
The advisors simply wanted to wash their hands of the chaos left by the Third Hokage. His battles had been so exhausting that he'd gone through blood pressure pills by the crate.
The crowd understood the situation perfectly but refused to shoulder the burden themselves.
With forced smiles, the advisors accepted the praise, knowing full well they couldn't extricate themselves from this mess.
---
At the Sarutobi Clan's Grave
Meanwhile, Naruto Uzumaki, Jiraiya, Kakashi, and Konohamaru sat around the grave of the Third Hokage. Empty sake bottles littered the ground, evidence of their impromptu gathering.
Between drinks, they reminisced about the old man's life from their own perspectives.
Naruto suddenly slammed his hand on the table, his voice filled with emotion.
"Let me tell you, just for how many times the old man cleaned up my messes, we owe him a grand funeral!"
In this world, funerals were simple and understated. Even for someone as important as the Hokage, they were nothing more than a brief ceremony.
If not for today's gathering, Naruto doubted he would've even had a chance to properly honor the old man.
The group fell silent, their curiosity piqued as they watched Naruto's serious expression.
"I have an idea," he declared.
"What was the Third Hokage's favorite thing to do?"
The other three exchanged glances before speaking in unison.
"Peeping on women's baths?"
Jiraiya's expression became complicated. Naruto's suggestion wasn't bad, but how were they supposed to honor the old man's hobby now that he was gone?
"Kid," Jiraiya began cautiously, "you're not suggesting we move his tombstone to a bathhouse, are you?"
The group fell silent, imagining the scene.
Naruto's eye twitched. "Are you all insane? That's not what I meant!"
"Well, what then?" Kakashi asked, tilting his head.
Naruto smirked. "How about we hire some performers—dancers and singers—and hold a three-day celebration at his grave?"
Jiraiya's eyes lit up. Kakashi's cheeks reddened, his expression turning sly.
"Great idea!" Jiraiya cheered.
"As expected of my apprentice!" Kakashi added.
Even Konohamaru, despite his youth, seemed on board.
The group immediately got to work. Naruto drafted plans for what he proudly called The First Annual Konoha Hokage Memorial Festival.
Jiraiya, naturally, took charge of hiring the entertainers, while Kakashi informed the other jonin. Naruto focused on decorations, leaving Konohamaru with the task of... eating.
As the preparations began, two figures clad in black cloaks adorned with red clouds approached the outskirts of Konoha.
"Mr. Itachi…" one of them said hesitantly. "Do you think I'll ever find peace in this life~de-su-ne?"
Itachi Uchiha: "...?"
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