Naruto: Impregnation No Jutsu

"What the hail is this?" Aster muttered in the voice of Uncle Roger, blinking repeatedly at the golden scroll floating in front of him. The void around him was as black as that one femboy Aster had seen last week.

You know, the one with the eyeliner sharper than a samurai sword and a vibe that could make even the most confident guy question his life choices.

He couldn't really understand what was happening to him right now. One second, he was alive, standing on the footpath, talking to one of his dozens—no, maybe hundreds—of girlfriends.

The next second, something hit him hard on the head, and he lost consciousness. Now, here he was, floating in this void-like place, staring at a scroll that looked like it belonged in a bad anime fanfiction.

'What should I do now?' Aster thought, deciding it wouldn't be a genius idea to panic. Panicking just makes things worse. Believe me, bro has a ton of experience with that.

One time, he was this close—like THIS (shows 1 inch)—to having his entire harem exposed all over the internet, ruining his image.

Some news anchor was after him, ready to expose him with a mountain of proof. But did Aster panic? Nah.

Bro didn't panic.

He simply bought the news channel that anchor worked for.

And when his friends asked him, "How did you get all those proofs back?" bro just replied with, "I bought the bank." And he said it like he was goddamn Batman.

Back to the present and the point.

'What should I do?' Aster was still thinking, his voice calm and steady. But then his tone shifted.

"WHAT SHOULD I DO!" he yelled, his voice still devoid of even the tiniest hint of panic. It sounded calm, steady, and cool, but somehow it also managed to sound psychopathic.

Well, Aster's a psychopath. An American one.

It feels weird in here, Aster thought, letting go of his desire to be the one in control for a second. Instead, he focused on what was happening to his body. 'I can feel the lower half of my body burning... not in a painful way, but yeah, it's definitely burning. Like someone set my legs on fire but forgot to tell me it was supposed to hurt.'

Meanwhile, his upper half was getting colder and colder with each passing second. It was like his torso had decided to take a vacation to the Arctic while his legs were sunbathing in the Sahara.

"Okay, this is officially weird," Aster muttered, looking down at himself. Not that there was much to see in the void, but he could still feel the bizarre sensations coursing through his body.

"Am I dying? Is this what dying feels like? Because if it is, it's way less dramatic than I thought it would be. Where's the bright light? The angels? The dramatic music?"

He glanced back at the golden scroll, which was still floating there, glowing like it had a personal vendetta against his sanity. Impregnation No Jutsu. The words seemed to mock him, daring him to figure out what the hell they meant.

But then, suddenly, his eyes widened like never before.

DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM!

"What the HELL is happening?" Aster wondered, his head swiveling around like an owl on caffeine. He was trying to figure out where this weird drum-like sound was coming from.

It was loud, rhythmic, and oddly dramatic, like the soundtrack to a bad action movie. But no matter where he looked, he couldn't find the source.

"Ah... you are finally here."

Suddenly, a voice echoed in his ears. It was a furry-sounding voice, like it literally belonged to an animal—a cute one at that. It was the kind of voice you'd expect from a talking teddy bear or a very polite raccoon.

'...'

Aster could only stare at the void and the scroll, completely baffled. Not being able to find the source of these sounds and voices was not a great feeling.

It was like being in a horror movie, except instead of a ghost, he was being haunted by a drumline and a furry narrator.

But before he could even react to his current situation, the void started to crack.

CRACK. CRACK. CRACK.

The void shattered into countless pieces, like it was a giant mirror. Each piece broke into even more pieces, and as they did, they turned into different colors—some red, some blue, some green, and some a shade of purple that Aster was pretty sure didn't exist in nature.

And then, as everything settled down and the void was no more, what Aster saw was just beyond what anyone could have expected.

'Penguins? Ehhhhhh?'

What Aster saw was hundreds upon hundreds of penguins standing in two neat lines on either side of a giant pathway. They were carrying drums and beating them like they were secret rockstars at a sold-out concert. The drumming was synchronized, intense, and oddly hypnotic.

At the end of the pathway was a throne. And on that throne sat a big-ass penguin. Not just any penguin—this one was massive, like it had been hitting the gym and eating nothing but protein shakes for years.

It was sitting there, casually eating a bucket of KFC, and holding the golden scroll Aster had been staring at just moments ago.

The penguin looked at Aster, its beady eyes glinting with what could only be described as smug superiority. It took a slow, deliberate bite of a chicken wing, chewed thoughtfully, and then spoke.

"Welcome, Aster," the penguin said, its voice deep and commanding, like it had been practicing in front of a mirror for years. "We got two options for you"

The giant penguin spoke as two pills—one red and one blue—appeared in front of Aster, floating ominously in the air. Aster's face flinched a bit, but he stayed calm overall.

After all, he'd been through weirder things today. Like, you know, getting hit on the head, waking up in a void, and meeting a KFC-loving penguin overlord.

"What does this mean?" Aster asked, looking up at the giant penguin, who was mid-bite into a chicken wing. The penguin paused, sighed, and put the chicken down, wiping its flippers on a napkin like it was some kind of fancy businessman.

"Well, aren't you Gen Omega? Don't you kids nowadays know about the red pill and the blue pill?" the penguin said, its tone dripping with disappointment.

"Sesh... kids these days don't even have any idea how nostalgic these things are," the penguin continued, its face twisting into an expression that could only be described as regretful.

It looked like it was reminiscing about the good old days when red pills and blue pills were all the rage.

But soon enough, it snapped out of its nostalgic trance and returned to its normal bored expression. "The red pill," the penguin began, pointing a flipper at the crimson pill, "if you take it, you will have to go to hell for your crimes and suffer for eternity."

Hearing this, Aster didn't seem convinced. He raised an eyebrow, his expression skeptical. "And the blue one?" he asked, more out of curiosity than anything else.

"If you take the blue pill," the penguin said, its voice taking on a dramatic flair, "you will get the chance to reincarnate with this bad boy under your command." It pointed at the Impregnation No Jutsu scroll in its other flipper. "Now, the choice is yours."

Aster's POV

What the hell is happening! I yelled in a lower tone in my mind, trying my best to suppress my anger. WHY THE FUCK did I donate millions of dollars to all sorts of religions to get a free pass to heaven?

And now it turns out a penguin is going to decide my fate? A penguin? I don't like this. Not one bit.

"Ahhh... excuse me," I began, waving my hand toward the fat-ass penguin and trying to give it my most rizz-ful smile. You know, the kind of smile that could charm a snake out of its skin.

"Brother, ewwwwww. Ewwwww, brother," the fat-ass penguin said, making an expression that was 18,448,474% disgust. It looked like it had just bitten into a lemon wrapped in spoiled fish.

"....." I could only stare at it, not really daring to offend it. Like, what if it just sent me to hell? Which, for obvious reasons, I don't want to happen. I don't want to reincarnate either.

I just want to go to heaven.

"I think you've got some misunderstanding," I began, waving my hands like a certain Austrian painter. "How can I deserve to go to hell? I've never done anything wrong.

"I never killed anyone. Never genocided anyone. Never done anything wrong! How can I deserve to go to hell?"

The penguin stared at me, its beady eyes narrowing. "Should we check the chat history with your best friend?" it said, its voice dripping with sarcasm.

My blood ran cold. My chat history with that fucker? Yep, If that thing comes out I am getting boiled in the lowest floor of the hell.

"I take the blue pill, my good sire," I said quickly, snatching the blue pill out of the air before the penguin could say another word.

The penguin smirked, clearly enjoying my panic. "Wise choice," it said, leaning back on its throne and picking up another piece of chicken.

"Now, off you go. Don't forget to write a review of your reincarnation experience. Five stars get you a free side of fries."

Before I could respond, the world around me began to blur, and I felt myself being pulled into a whirlwind of colors and sounds.

Great, I thought as everything went dark. Just great.

.....

"Time to write," The penguin said as a PC appeared in front of him. In fact, he wasn't a penguin at all, but the fucking author himself.

Author's POV

"That was rushed, wasn't it?" I said as I opened Webnovel, looking at you readers through your screens.

Then I extended my middle finger. It almost looked like I was about to flip you all off, but I didn't. Instead, I made a heart with my hands.

"Do you think I'd actually flip you guys off? Nah, I wouldn't. After all, you guys are my comment and power stone milking cow—cough—I mean, my pookie bears," I said nervously, almost exposing myself.

Before adding, "Give me comments, will ya? We're going to be chatting for a long time." After that, I started writing the story again.

But I looked at you readers one more time and said, "The first few chapters are fast-paced, okay?" and then got back to writing the story.

Aster's POV

Ehhh... where the fuck am I? I wondered, my brain still foggy as I tried to open my eyes. The last thing I remembered was taking the blue pill and getting sucked into some kind of cosmic whirlwind.

Now, here I was, lying on something soft, with a weird sensation that I couldn't quite place.

I blinked a few times, trying to clear my vision, and that's when I saw her.

A woman with blue hair and orange eyes was riding my dick.

FUCK.

My brain short-circuited for a solid three seconds as I tried to process what was happening. 

{A/N: Guess..... Who is the first female lead?🌚 }