My Nihilism Got Me Laid?!

Leaning over to Asher, I whisper. "Hey, so what's the deal with the lamb, are they gonna bathe them in holy wat..e...r...."

Asher's eyes violently shake as she onlooks the stage, her breath hastening as she begins to hyperventilate.

Just looking at her is making me panic. "What? What's wrong?"

"that- no, no-"

"Asher, now you're freaking me out."

"Brazen... bull..."

"Brazen bull? Asher, I think you skipped Pre-k; that's a lamb. You know, the pre evolution of a sheep."

Her fear doesn't falter as she covers her mouth.

What's got her pant-

The men on stage wheel out a steel fire pit, placing it under the lamb.

What... what are they doing?

"It was said that the blood of a lamb would ward off the devil of hell, for that, this couple shall protect our world from evil."

As the chubby man snaps, the fire is ignited, the flames fulminate as they tickle the underside of the bronze lamp statue.

My eyes widen as my glance darts around the bleachers. I look for someone to react the same way that we do; surely someone is going to say something, right?

But instead, the cloaked figures hold their head down in prayer as they hum an ominous tune.

This can't actually be happening...

There's a knocking sound from within the statue, it begin to hasten, becoming more desperate.

Asher's eyes begin to water; she seems to be the only other person here who seems to be sane.

"Asher..."

"They volunteered for their own death..."

Our attention is dragged away as a desperate scream from within the lamb echos through the desolate woods.

"Yes! Embrace this. With this, you can begin to understand the pain our lord and savior suffered!" The reverend cheers as he walks over to the statue.

"PLEASE!"

"LET US OU- AHHHHH!!"

The couple begin pleading as the smell of burning flesh billows out the nose of the bronze sculpture.

"ARAHHAGGGHGG!"

The chubby man chuckles while he taps the sculpture with his knuckle; he winces as he yanks it away, blowing on his barley burnt skin.

Like a barbeque on Papua Island, their bodies sizzle as the lamb heats up.

Their screams somehow being overwhelmed by the communal humming around me.

I can only imagine the couple's pain receptors being burnt one at a time as they struggle to crawl over one another in a futile attempt to escape the overheated bronze metal.

Any love they once had is trumped by the searing hatred and pain that is consuming their skin.

Their bodies twitching and lurching back at every touch of the metal, while lacking any safe place to put their hands, the suffocatingly thin air.

"HELP! HELP!"

the woman's screams become gurgled as their flesh continues to melt.

I can hear them attempt to slam their bodies against the hatch, only for the three latches to barely tremble.

Each futile motion is followed by a blood curdling scream as they are cooked alive

This continues for 10 minutes, their screams have died out, and the knocking and thumping have ceased.

I can't die, but why? Why am I so scared?

My delay at realizing and the circumstances, the fear I felt in that moment, I could have done something. But I didn't...

The Reverend looks around with a gleeful smile before his eyes land on Asher's; unlike the surrounding sheep, we seem to be the odd ones out, our eyes wide and our breath held back. We were the only ones showing our humanity, while the pseudo devils around us continue their prayer.

He claps his hands together as the people around us lift their heads from prayer.

"AMEN!"

The ceremony ends as they give some long speech in an attempt to morally justify human sacrifice.

"Our next event shall be dinner, and we will wrap this hallow night with our final ceremony."

Final ceremony, yea right, it's just going to be another human sacrifice!

I turn to the shell shocked Asher as she trembles.

"Asher, we need to get out of here."

She slowly turns her head to me, her blue eyes water as tears stream down her cheeks. "Gr- Graves... they killed them."

"That seems to be the case."

"Bu- wh- I-"

"Asher, focus! We need to leave! The reverend-"

"Ho? What is it I did? Surely our newest pastor wouldn't leave this event so early in the night"

Like a phantom, the chubby reverend managed to sneak up on us.

With a wide eyed smile, he stands beside us.

Asher is still out of it as her eyes shake. "the- those-"

Giving a hearty chuckle, I put my hand on the reverend's shoulder. "Yeah, sorry Asher... uh... forgot her miralax, and she aint the biggest fan of outhouses. So we need to leave, you know, wouldn't want this night to go shitty." I say, waiting for the laugh.

But the Reverend looks at me with disgust as he brushes my hand off his shoulder.

"Do you get it... shitty? Because she constipa-"

"Dont say such nonsense, we have plenty of indoor bathrooms. So please, join us for dinner."

Yea... probably shouldn't have used constipation as an excuse... forgot girls don't poop.

He puts his arms around us as he guides us towards the dining hall.

"We wouldn't want to ruin this perfect night with uninvited visitors, would we?"

I know they always say dont let them take you to a second location, but as he practically holds us in a choke hold, and we are now surrounded by the flock of cloaked figures, there is no escape.

We are eventually led into a large room, with a long table stretched out across it. A hundred chairs line the table as the people happily mingle amongst one another, as though they hadn't just watched a couple be cooked alive.

Even as they sit before the plates of food, they have the veils over their face; these motherfuckers look like they're a part of the witches' cult. How did Subaru kill them?

...Guess he had a cute demon girl helping him.

I know I can't make any obvious moves, but I'm not defenseless either. As the Reverend attempts to guide us to the head of the table and separate us on either side of him, placing himself between us. Instead, I force my way into the seat beside Asher.

"Oh, what's this? You don't wish to sit next to me?" He attempts to make a scene out of my action, but I won't budge.

"Uh yea?" I look down at his stomach. "You look like the type of person who eats for two and I don't want you stealing my food."

He gives a hearty chuckle as he plops himself down in his wooden chair. The legs creek and squeak as it struggles to hold him up. "You are a funny man... But, do you think god would laugh at your jokes?"

"You know, I do wonder what would happen if I were the one to put a note on the bulletin board... is it like text message?"

The Reverend has momentarily lost his evil presence, now looking at me with pure and utter confusion.

A group of blue cloaked figures come strutting out with plates and trays of lavish looking food.

They place a large tray of meat before me.

I take one look at it and it becomes pretty obvious...

Leaning over I whisper to Asher, "Dont eat the meat, it's spoiled."

Asher turns to me with nothing but sheer panic reflecting from her eyes.

This motherfucking bat eared Reverend has made it his job to eve-drop. "Ho? Is something wrong with your food?"

"Uh, yea, so is this like kimchi, how they bury it in the ground to ferment? Cause it certainly hasn't been twenty four hours since he was buried in the ground."

"I apologize, but I don't believe I follow."

"Nevermind, I'm just a pescatarian... wait, that's when you only eat fish right?"

"So you wish to turn down this generous offering?"

"I mean, I would just rather eat fish; isn't that like your main logo for you guys, the fish, itchy thighs or whatever it's called?"

The man's blubber jiggles as he laughs. "Ah, it seems you are not as ignorant as I had first thought, Ichthys, you are correct, it is the symbol of our lord. Unfortunately, there are no bodies of water nearby."

( ╹ -╹)? "Have you never heard of a supermarket?

"We could never get our meals from such artificial places, we must collect our own food."

I didn't see a single cow farm on the way here; so my "Steak" that's filled with hair and fire ants, I assume is... bear? (˘-_-)

With how many parasites bear meat has, I think I would rather eat... this.

Asher seems to have come back to her senses, as I hear her hastened breathing in the seat beside me.

I would imagine this might be quite terrifying if you weren't immortal; like a bad ending route.

A dead end.

I do wonder what would happen if someone ate my flesh... would the limb still grow back?

OMG! I could solve world hunger!

Cannibalism for the win!