My Nihilism Got Me Laid?!

(⸝⸝⸝-﹏-⸝⸝⸝) Holy shit, I came literal buckets into that woman.

But... I can take a very educated guess that she is not on the pill.

I pity future me of 9 months. (•᷅∩•᷅ )

┐('～`;)┌ Well, that's his problem.

She was down for the count, so that left me with the task of taking down the plastic wrap around the room and bleach bombing the place.

I have been awake for the last 24 hours cleaning up a mess I didn't even make.

Once the bodies had fully dissolved, I woke Ammit up. After neutralizing the hydrochloric acid with baking soda, we toss the corpse soups into a river and melt the plastic containers.

Probably not the best thing for mother nature... and now that I think about it, if I really am immortal, I should be heavily invested in earths well being, otherwise I'm going to either be endlessly burnt by the sun or drift through space infinitely not able to die as my bodies freezes.

With the bodies disposed and the room bleached of evidence, that left one last problem.

Ammit...

She's like one of those aggressive fish, you have to have it in its own fish tank, otherwise it will consume anything around it. So I have to put her in an apartment by herself until I find someone who can match her Dexter mindset.

Not that it even mattered, though...

"GRAVES! Who the fuck are these bimbos?!"

Cafune comes walking in with no pants and her usual disheveled look. "Gravy, Who's the colorful lady?"

Boketto inspects her twin braids. "You've got some pretty hair, miss."

"Are you cheating on me Graves!?" Ammit points at them accusingly.

"Yes, because we're not dating."

"Oh!" Ammit jolts back, acting as though hit by an arrow. "Your words burn my darling; but once I kill them, you will have no choice but to love me!"

My neutral expression drops to a cold glare.

...

My eyes go dead as I lean forward, whispering into her ear. "Listen well Ammit. If you kill them or anyone else on this floor, I will murder you, stuffing your corpse in a suitcase and dropping you from the rooftop of this building. Your body will explode upon the impact of falling 78 floors. You can try to defend yourself from my wraith, but remember... I cannot and will not die. Meanwhile, you are only made of flesh and bone. I will play the screams of your murder at their wakes to prove that their deaths didn't go unavenged."

...

Her eyes widen as she lets out a gasp.

For some fucking reason, a smile widens on her face as she slams her thighs together. Omg... she's coming...

"Oh Graves!" (⸝๑ ε ๑⸝⸝⸝｡) "You'd do all that for me? That sounds so romantic!"

My shoulders slouch as I throw my hands up in defeat. I give up; that was the best death threat I could come up with.

"Fine... if you kill them, I- I'll evict you."

Her cheerful smile wilts, and she lets out a gasp as her eyes begin to water. "NOOOO! PLeaSE! Graves, that's too far!"

"Then don't kill them."

She lunges at me, pulling at my hoodie. "OKAY! OKAY! I PROMISE I WON'T! JUST, PLEASE DON'T EVICT ME FROM YOUR ROOMMMM!"

Hmm, she's smooth. She just used the door in the face technique to worm her way into my room.

Asking a rhetorical question, I sigh. "So, where do you want to sleep Ammit?"

"After inspecting your entire house, I have determined that your loft would be the best place for the two of us to do our daily ritual."

"Theres a few things wrong with what you just sai-"

"Yay! You're going to join us in the loft!"

"And I- I already claimed Graves' left arm. So you have to find somewhere else!"

(ᵕ—ᴗ—) It seems my body is now being auctioned.

"These two bitches sleep with you!?"

"That seems like a harsh word to use; but, we are one big happy family... wait, that sounds weird if you consider what we do. Orcas of a pod... no, that's still a familial bond... we are grapes of a vine? No, then we'd be from the same seed... huh."

She turns her back to me and leans towards the two girls. "If you touch Graves's dick, I will make bone broth out of your corpses."

"Yay! Soup!" Cafune cheers.

"No death threats, Ammit, or you're getting booted from the pillow nest bed."

She gasps. "Ah! I mean- could you two please leave Graves's life... like, forever?"

"Why would we let you do that?"

"We'll obviously I'm his wife, and he's my husband. It would only make sense that we would have our own... private... locked... room. That way, when everyone else is asleep, we-"

"YOUR MARRIED, GRAVES!?" Boketto's eyes widen as she begins hyperventilating.

Cafune aggressively pats my back. "Congratulations! Remember to invite me to your Quinceanera!"

"We are not married, we are not even dating. The only bond we have is guilt by association."

Ammit throws her braid over her shoulder with a giggle. "Hehe, so bashful, my precious Gravy."

Cafune gasps. "Oh! Hey, you can't call him that! I copyrighted that nickname! Pay me dividends!"

"What about all of those charming words you said to me yesterday? ...or the fact that I'm the mother of your chi-"

With wide eyes, I cover Ammit's mouth... OMG ...  (;•᷅∩•᷅ ) that might actually be true, but I still don't want to hear it.

Boketto has her head pressed against the corner as she mumbles to herself. (◞𐔌 ◟;)

I lean to the point of whispering. "Please tell me you're kidding about that... I really can't afford a kid."

She sighs with a shrug. "Yes, unfortunately I am on the pill; it helps prevent acne."

Taking the deepest exhale of my life, I smile. "Oh, thank goodness."

She smirks, leaning in and whispering in my ear with a wink. "But you know, it only works 85% of the time; you feeling lucky?"

Based on previous events of my life...

◖㈠ ω ㈠◗ No.

******

Cafune and Boketto change into their usual pajamas, meanwhile Ammit walks in with just short shorts on; her heavy freckled breasts hang out with their perky pink nipples. Standing there with her hands to the side, she shows no bashfulness for her nudity.

Boketto's eyes widen as she tries to cover her breasts. "Dont look at her Graves!"

Ammit raises her eyebrow. "Why should my husband not look at my bare body?"

With a sigh, I pull off my shirt and toss it to her. "For the sake of everyone, just wear this."

She lets out a gasp as she catches my shirt. Burying her face into it, she deeply inhales, "Grave's shirt, its covered in your manly sce-"

"Can we please just go to bed?" I sigh.

Grabbing the matress from one of the three spare bedroom beds, we create a triple queen bed.

The three stand there, as if planning a project. Ammit points to the bed and commands me. "Lay down Gravy, we need to figure out how to divvy you up."

"Wha- You make me sound like cattle?!"

The three of them pull out a piece of paper and start drawling out my anatomy and begin circling areas in different colors as though they were playing Risk with my body.

With a giggle, Cafune doodles a mustache and snot on the drawing of me. "Hehe, look Gravy, you're a snot monster."

Ammit draws a psychotic and vicious red circle in colored pencil over 99% of my body. "This is the parts of him that I own, his organs, head, brain, crotch, limbs! They all belong to me..."

"Hey! I already claimed his left arm!" Boketto plops herself next to me, clinging in with all her might.

Eventually, a peace treaty is made; while Cafune got hoodwinked, she'll push through the logistics of being scammed with her aimless stupidity.

It's a bit makeshift, but the bed is surprisingly comfortable, and it feels a little more spacious... or it would, but the three of them all have their thick bodies wrapped around me like koalas meanwhile the other half of the bed has been abandoned.

While it may be a little hot, their squishy bodies make it feel like my bare skin is kissing heaven. The three breathe and pant as they pat the area before their areas before lying down their heads. Each of my limbs encased in their squishy skin as they tighten their embrace.

As they struggle to get comfortable, their voluptuous bodies shift in the sheets, pressing and squeezing against me as they cling on like squishy pillow barnacles.

The movement has an inadvertent effect...

Like a jack-in-the-box, my dick springs up, missing my briefs, it slips out through the hole.

The three of them gasp as they look down at my throbbing cock.

It seems I was wrong; they aren't koalas...

They're sharks...

they turn their attention to one another, practically posing up to fend one another off.

And I'm the bait.

Bait that just wants to sleep. (ㅎ_ㅎ)