My Nihilism Got Me Laid?!

The room is dark but her glowing iridescent hair glows, flickering with every selfish thrust. I'm pretty sure we've been at it for the last hour, as our bodies are dripping in sweat.

As she lies on the bed, her breathing is unsteady, and her eyes rolled back.

Pulling out my drenched dick, I sigh. "Alright, we're taking a break." I command.

Like pulling the cork from a bottle, the floodgates open and the plugged cum floods out.

Her eyes widen as she awakens from her lustful haze. "Wha- why?" She lunges at me with pleading eyes. "Am I not good enough for you? I can change! What do you want from me? I will lose weight. Starving myself for the sake of your happiness would make me happy! Please, just don't abandon me!"

"God, no, I like your cute belly, just-"

She gasps. "YOU- LIKE IT?!" She slams her thighs together, "Oh, shi- Grav- I thin- think I'm coming."

Okay... wow... she actually is coming... just from me calling her cute.

After finishing her climaxing, she pants, leeching onto me. "If you think I'm cu- cu- cute! Then why do we have to stop?"

"Because... THESE FUCKING CORPSES SMELL LIKE SHIT!"

"Oh, that's it? Dont worry, you'll get used to it, since you're going to be living with me and all."

I would rather eat one of those corpses than live here. "No, no and no. That's it, I'm making an ultimatum."

"NO, ANYTHING BUT A DIVORCE!"

"Good God, get a grip, woman!" Grabbing her shoulders, I shake her. "What I'm saying is, no more sex until we do something about the corpses."

I'm getting a headache; I can't tell if it's the smell or this woman's words.

"Well, if that's what's bothering you, we can just fuck in the hallway. I'll kill whoever walks by." She leans in, her glowing blue eyes piercing the darkness. "Only I get to see your dick."

"Oh, my, god! Did you even graduate college?!"

She innocently tilts her head. |°з°) "College? Yea. I was top of my class as a forensic science major, and I was awarded cum laude."

(ㆆ _ ㆆ) That is terrifying.

And what's the deal with these cat collars?! Gripping at my neck, there's a red leather collar with a jingling golden bell attached.

She leans towards me with that psycho look. "It's like an early wedding ring; we both have one, to show that we own each other." She gives me a naughty look as she jingles the bell around her own neck.

...

"...What?"

"You know, like, we are each other's pet."

...

"...right..." Slowly nodding my head, I take off the collar. "Alright, we're doing something about these corpses, and that's final.

"I don't wanna, I just wanna keep on baby making."

"How about this then: We deal with the corpses, and I will get you an apartment fou- five doors away from my own?"

Her eyes widen as she gasps. "Really!?"

God, this is a terrible idea. Both of them.

She straightens her pose as she salutes. "Alright! How are we going to handle this?"

Taking a deep sigh, I shake my head...

"We're going shopping."

"Oooh! For a wedding ring?"

"No... for hydrochloric acid and a plastic tub."

*****

The hardest part of this whole thing is transportation, how does one go about transporting huge plastic tubs inconspicuously?

Future me, shall see, shan't he.

Ammit happily hums a wedding song as I push the cart through the aisles of the hardware store.

Meanwhile, I am violently sweating. The loudspeakers are playing Christmas music despite it being May. And the more I think about it, the more I wonder why I am even helping this woman bury corpses! Should I be reporting her?

I would say it out of the kindness of my heart, but that would both be a lie and also, these corpses are likely innocent people... so the idea of being on the morally correct side has gone out the window.

Gloves, bleach, gas masks, hydrochloric acid, baking soda, and plastic wrap. What possible excuse could I come up with for buying these?

House cleaning, in chernobyl, and the plastic wrap is for... my sandwic-

"Graves, is that you?"

I hear a familiar voice question behind me.

Oh...shit.

Slowly turning around, I see the one person... I did not want to see...actually there's two I wouldn't want to see, but it's only one of them.

૮₍ ´• ˕ •` ₎ა "Oh, Folie, what a coincidence." My voice cracks as I gulp.

"What a small world it is, to think we'd be at the hardware store at the same time. Then again, it's the closest one to our apartment.

Ammit turns around, not looking all that happy. "How the fuck do you know Graves, you bitch?"

Folie tilts her head, "Are... you talking to me?"

"I don't see any other whor-"

"Alright, let's calm down Ammit." Covering her mouth from behind, I awkwardly laugh. "Sorry about that Folie, I'm trying to teach her the power of friendship and kindness."

"I see, those are valuable skill to have indeed. I have been teaching that very lesson to the criminals we catch; but... usually my gun goes off before I get the chance to say anything. Things got a mind of its own."

I was just over at her room a few days ago; I think we were a bit too loud cause Fintan looked a little dejected. Not my fault, "Folie is certainly a moaner."

The two turn and look at me with raised eyebrows.

Did I say that out loud? "I mean, how has your police work been going? Anything interesting?"

Folie puffs out her chest with a proud expression. "Quite a few interesting cases. We have this one we call, The First Class Killer; they mutilate their victims' bodies and throw them into the ocean... the strangest part is, they put the bodies in suitcases! Dun dun duuunnnn!"

...

...

( ⚆_⚆)

"I se- see, that's qu- quite interesting."

"Do you have any leads?" Ammit asks with a smug grin.

Folie dramatically slouches as she purses her lips. "No, the suitcases the killer used have all belonged to random owners, meaning they likely bought them from a thrift store. And those have no paper trail; so, the police are on a wild goose chase."

For some reason, Ammit looks dejected over the fact that the police have nothing on her.

(¬､¬) "Why do you make it sound like it's not your problem?" I cautiously question.

With a carefree shrug, she spins. "Cause it's not. I get to sit back and chillax till the superiors tell me where to aim. Then I shoot to kill, easy peasy. Man, I love my job."

I know that Ammit is the serial killer here, but I still feel like Folie is the real criminal.

"So why are you guys here?" She looks down at the hydrochloric acid and plastic tubs in our hands. "What do you guy need that for? You melting a body?" she says jokingly.

"HAHA! Melting a body? You are really funny Folie!" I laugh a little too loudly before Ammit bumps my shoulder with a confused look.

Folie tilts her head. "You think so? I put comedian on my resume, and I haven't really had the chance to use it during any SWAT operations. Sometimes I say a cool one liner when we barge in and shoot the criminals."

"Huh..."

She acts out her words theatrically. "Some of my favorites are: Looks like crime didn't pay, but you will! Or I hope you like stripes... they're in this season!" Unholstering her gun, she aims it at me, ignoring any gun safety laws.

Putting my hand on the barrel of her pistol, I lower it. "Yeaaa... maybe keep working on those."

She happily nods before turning away. "Well, I've got to go; see you later... oh, and graves, when can you come over again? Fin misses you too, she gave me quite an earful about the other day, apparently I was a little too loud."

I side eye Ammit fearing she might up and stab Folie. "I would be happy to come over for lunch tomorrow."

"Lunch? Alright, I shall see you tomorrow. I bought a second pair of handcuffs, so I think you will like this new position I've been scheming."

"Hmm... yea, position of cooking, cooking position."

Ammit sees right through my faulty lies as she glares at Folie. Coercing her away, I wave goodbye to Folie.

Jesus, sharing my body amongst 12 woman is exhaustingly fun. (─‿‿─) Like playing those mobile games, gotta check on them daily, otherwise their happiness decreases.

...That makes me seem shallow, doesn't it? ...I love each of them as though their lives were their own... hhhmm... no, if that were the case, I wouldn't be treating them all that nicely. Alright, I love them all like they are my girlfriends... but I'm dozen timing.

Huh...

I guess I am just a piece of shit.

Getting rubber gloves and two gas masks, we check out. At this point, we're just begging to be arrested; but we just rolled a twenty on a deception check with a literal operator, so I think we'll be fine.