My Nihilism Got Me Laid?!

Making my way to the seventh floor, I trek down the hall to room 777.

I haven't really come up with a plan to deal with this, or even how to get permission to enter; guess I'll go with ol' reliable.

Knocking on the door,

...

I don't get a response.

I knock once more, this time twice as hard.

...

Still not-

Suddenly there's a muffled sound through the door. "The hell do you want?"

"Uh... room service?"

Theres a groan, before I hear countless locks unlatch and click.

The door opens and...

holy shit...

She really is built like the pills bury doughboy.

Standing before me, she's wearing a bright yellow sweater, the emoji logo in the center has stretched eyes due to her large breasts pulling on the strings. Her lower half is barely covered by the oversized sweater, but her huge ass sags in the back. And her striped thigh highs look like something from Beatlejuice as they fail to contain her jiggly thighs.

"What are you looking at?"

I was looking at your voluptuous body.

...Wow, I've become ungrateful and perverse. I need to mediate alone on a hillside mountain under a waterfall to reset this dirty mind I have accumulated.

I was looking at your personality... much better.

"I was just hoping to look in your apartment."

"Why the fuck would I let you do that?"

"I apologize, but the other tenets of this floor are complaining about a smell coming from your room. The hotel sent me up here to clean. You don't have to pay me any mind, nor cash. Simply here to help."

She glares at me, while crossing her arms. Clicking her tongue, she lets me in. "Just clean the living room, don't go into my bedroom."

This whole thing is just an act, so I don't really have the proper cleaning equipment, just a vacuum, some latex gloves and trash bags.

Guiding me into the-

*BELGFH*

The moment I leave the safety of the hallway, my gag reflex kicks in. If shit could shit, it still wouldn't smell this shitty.

"What's with that face, are you judging me?"

Trying to not pass out to the smell, I weakly shake my head. "No- no miss, your place is quite comfortable."

Walking deeper into the dark room, we enter the living room. There is not a single light on in the entire apartment, I am only able to see due to my eyes adapting and the minimal amount of sunshine bleeding through the shades.

"So, what do you do for a living?" I question in an attempt to make small talk.

"Forensic scientist."

"Oh, wow, that sounds like a fun job, I dont know much about it though, besides what you see on TV. But I bet that stuff is far from the truth."

"YOU WATCH THEM TOO!?!" She lunges towards me, her bright blue eyes practically glowing in the dark room.

"Uh- I mean sometimes."

Her harsh attidue is gone; as though she just made a friend on the schoolyard, she grabs my arm, dragging me towards her television.

"Let's watch one!"

She leaps onto her messy couch, its surrounded in empty energy drink bottles and half eaten bags of chips.

"Sit." She commands.

"What about the cleaning, though?"

"Nah, you can do that later, lets watch!"

"...alright." I'm not actually here to clean, so I don't mind just watching TV, as long as I can keep an eye on her.

Walking over, I am about to sit on the couch, but a vibrator is in my seat.

"Uh, what do you want me to do about... that?"

"Hhm? Oh, my vibrator, just toss it somewhere."

"Huh." As though it were carrying the next epidemic, I pick it up and move it asid- oh god, its wet.

Showing no sign of embarrassment, she giddily wiggles on the couch as she fiddles with the remote. "I can't believe a fellow crime fan walked into my room! What's your name?"

"...yea, crazy coincidence.... my name is... Graves" Crime fan... that's an odd way to frame it.

"Ooh, Graves. I like that name, very eerie!"

Sitting down on the couch beside her, I sit there awkwardly with my body tucked together. I have never been able to "Make myself at home" when at another person's house. It doesn't help that I'm a bit of a germaphobe, needless to say... I'm scared.

Slouching down on the couch, she munches on popcorn. "This is my favorite episode! Watch, watch! He accidentally became lovers with this manipulative lady, and starts killing people aimlessly. But then when he finds out she was using him and nearly burnt him in a building, he was super mad. Watch, he's about to get the revenge kill, he hunted her down!"

It's just Dexter... I've already seen the entire show, so I have to fake my impression; people fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all. (T_T)

"And boom! Oh, ho! He snuck up and killed her. Wasn't that awesome." She grabs another handful of popcorn. "I love that scene." Tossing a kernel in her mouth, she manically laughs.

But her laughing becomes sporadic, turning to her, I see that she's coughing.

Her eyes wide with panic.

Without a moment's hesitation, I was on his feet.

I realize this is how she dies, fucking choking on popcorn!

Picking her up from the ground, I wrap my arms below her chest and pull up. Doing this repeatedly, she violently hacks and coughs.

The kernel flies out, and she stops coughing.

Ammit gasps, her eyes watering as she sucks in air, her body shaking with the sudden relief.

Even so, I don't release her immediately, my hands rub her back gently, making sure she was okay.

Her rapid breathing slows as I put her back on the ground again.

"Are you alright?"

Holding at her throat, her wide eyes recede, slowly tilting her neck back at me, her expression of fear vanishes.

A wide grin grows on her cute freckled face, those glowing blue eyes beaming at me.

"You- You saved me!" lunging at me, she tightly embraces me. Between her soft sweater and squishy body that absorbs me, this hug feels angelic, heavenly.

"...oh, yea, I'm glad you're safe."

I can feel her tears streaming down onto my shoulders, her breath hitches as her soft hug tightens. "Thank...you, thank you, thank you."

The hug goes on to the point of feeling awkward, but she's showing no signs of letting go. it seems I had the wrong impression about this woman.

She continues holding me, tears streaming down.

Eventually, the exhaustion from the scare sets in and she falls asleep in my arms. Like an innocent kitten, she lies against me with her sleeves up to her fingers and her head tucked.

Carefully setting her down on the couch, I get up.

Grabbing a trash bag from under her sink, I begin to pickup all the empty cans and bags of chips. After spending an hour picking up trash, I start to wonder how she hasn't died of a heart attack yet. One bag alone would send Moxie to the ER.

Maybe I should have Moxie be her personal trainer!

Wait, why am I deciding how someone else should live? Plus, I like her cute squishy build.

Grabbing the vacuum, I hesitate, looking over at the sleeping kitten of a woman, her expression so innocent as her glossy lips softly inhale and exhale.

Well, I'm just glad she didn't end up being a psychopath. She was just a fan of true crime. If anything, this is what I assume Cafune's room would look like if not for me and Boketto cleaning up after her.

And I finally survived! Maybe me dying every time was just a crazy coincidence, and I only have to save them.

Done with the living room and kitchen, there's only one room left...

opening the door to her bedroom, she has a very girly room, with creepy off-brand hello kitty plushies lining her vibrant yellow bed.

I'm not really sure why she told me not clean her bedroom. I would say she was hiding something embarrassing, but she didn't seem all that phased by me seeing her vibrator.

Maybe she is a drug addict and thinks I'm going to snitch on her. I've never been one for drugs, but it's not like its...hurting...anyone...else?

Opening the closet there's...

Oh...

(• ε •) That's a pile of rotting corpses.

With a sloshing flop, a dismembered head slaps against the ground.

...huh.

wait-!

My eyes widen as I try to whip around.

*ERGH!*

Why does my arm feel hot?

Ow.

Why is it getting hotter?

OW!

Why does it sting?

"Graves, you found my collection of failed lovers!"

Something is coming out of my mouth.

Holding my hand up, red liquid downpours onto my open palm.

"But don't worry! You won't fail me... right?! We will forever be together! Right?"

Ammit suddenly tackles me to the ground.

She is sitting on top me holding a bloodied kitchen knife.

"Fu- OW! OW! GET OFF ME-"

"Love me!"

Slamming down the knife, she stabs my body.

"LOVE ME!"

In and out, the blade makes no discretion for my vital organs.

"You love me! Dont you?"

Sitting on my chest, she maniacally laughs.

"Of course you do!"

She slams the knife one final time directly in my chest.

"Because..."

Lurching forward, she grabs my face with both hands, kissing my blooded lips.

Leaning back, she pants for air, her large chest rising and falling.

Her eyes widen, as those glowing blue irises spin as though a pinwheel. "I LOVE YOU!"

...

"No...why are you not moving?"

vomiting up blood, my eyes are blinded by the red liquid.

Her concern face leans over me as tears stream down her face. "No, no, no! ...why did you die so easily?"

Oh...

...I'm dead.