Chapter 4: 〈Episode 4〉Wandering (3)
As I was frozen, Cha So-young showed me a bag she was carrying on her back with a soft smile.
"I'll leave it in the hallway."
Cha So-young, who had passed me and entered the house, put my bag down on the doorstep and spoke in a raised voice.
"Ma'am! We're going out now!"
"Yeah~ It's the weekend tomorrow, so you shouldn't play around too late, right?"
"yes~!"
Cha So-young came out again and closed the door. The sound of the old hinges followed by the thud of the door seemed to block my escape route.
Cha So-young stood next to me, still frozen, and spoke.
"I said we would leave school together. I didn't think we would come back to class after we left."
"…"
There was no answer, but Cha So-young continued speaking regardless.
"I told the class president first because I thought the homeroom teacher wouldn't allow it if I said I was leaving early when there was no one involved. If the homeroom teacher asks tomorrow, I'll tell them that my back hurt so bad that I went to the hospital. Since you and I are both usually good-natured, I don't think they'll bother asking."
"…"
"… I explained to the lady. I'm just going to hang out with her for the first time in a while."
I had promised to tell her a little while ago, but when I actually stood in front of Cha So-young, I couldn't even answer, let alone confess. I thought I had been keeping my mouth shut for too long, so I talked around it.
"Thank you. Thank you, but… I'm sorry, but that's all for today."
"Jaehuk."
I was about to send her away because I felt like I wouldn't be able to say anything properly, but Cha So-young cut me off and grabbed my sweaty left hand.
"Will you follow me for now?"
"…"
"Just a little bit, just a moment. Please."
Please. The last part was almost like a final remark. For a woman, her voice was close to a low tone. Maybe that's why it was a voice that made you listen to it until the end once you heard it.
I turned my head slightly and looked up at Cha So-young, and only then did I see her.
Long hair tied in a ponytail, a shiny face, and a summer outfit that clung to her sweaty body and completely revealed her curves.
And the expressionless face and the sunken eyes visible between the long bangs.
I don't know how long he had been waiting for me, but looking at his appearance, I couldn't help but think that he hadn't happened to meet my mother and come in with her.
Considering that I said I was leaving school early and the time I was out of school, it's possible that my mother waited outside the whole time I was locked in my room until she came home.
I don't know how much distance there was between 'Shin Jae-hyeok' and 'Cha So-young' for Cha So-young to act like that, but at least because of her appearance, I couldn't refuse Cha So-young's request, which wasn't a request.
"… Where are you going?"
I put a little strength into my clasped left hand. Cha So-young turned her head slightly towards me with her eyes slightly widened.
I felt something was burdensome, so I avoided eye contact.
"… I told my mom I was going to go play, right? But when I went back home, it was weird."
"That's right. Heh heh. You're right."
Even though I spoke in a blunt manner, Cha So-young smiled happily and led me.
My left hand was still caught by Cha So-young's right hand, but I didn't particularly hate it. Well, I guess I'll just let go when I'm done.
"Let's eat first. You haven't eaten yet, right? What do you want to eat?"
"Um… how about pork bone soup?"
"Okay, noodles?"
"Why, you don't like it?"
"Oh, no. That's not it."
So, with complicated feelings in my heart, I left home with Cha So-young.
"You sing well."
"…okay?"
"Yeah. At that level, aren't you almost a singer?"
"Haha. What about the singer?"
After finishing a bowl of pork soup at a local noodle restaurant, we wandered around the nearby university district. In reality, I didn't know what had happened between Cha So-young and 'Shin Jae-hyeok', so I just followed Cha So-young wherever she told me to go.
"… You don't even know…"
"what?"
"No. Nothing. You're good at bagging too, aren't you? Do you do it often at home?"
"Well, well…"
Cha So-young, who was usually like this with 'Shin Jae-hyeok', would lead me around, talking about whether to buy this or that, or sitting on a bench with me and watching street bands.
Then, she sneakily glanced at me and asked if there was a place she wanted to go. After thinking about it for a bit, I said let's go to the PC room. Of course, Cha So-young tilted her head and asked back.
"… This is delicious."
"Right? That's what I drink often. That."
From 'Cha So-young's' perspective, I thought that she might feel comfortable going to a PC room where 'men' might go, and I also made the decision because I wanted to clear my head without thinking about anything.
After spending about two hours at the PC room, we went to a coin karaoke room.
"But aren't you hot? It's cooler in the cafe than here. You already looked hot."
"It's okay. The wind is blowing nicely here, so it's cool if you just sit still like this."
After singing a few songs at the coin karaoke, we went to a cafe, ordered iced lattes each, and walked around without saying a word, holding them in our hands.
Right now, I'm sitting on a bench in a park near my house.
She was wearing a skirt that ended just above her knees, and her legs were crossed, so her plump thighs caught my eye, even though they were covered and still looked uncluttered.
"How was your day?"
"what?"
What a surprise. The thief hurriedly turned his eyes away as if his own feet were ticklish. Cha So-young let out a snicker and gently shook my head as if something had gotten on it.
"It's been a while since we've played together like this. I was holding back because you wanted to focus on your mock exams."
"Ah… That's right. I had fun too."
It wasn't a lie. I forgot about telling my secret from the middle. Even if I thought of it as Shin Jae-hyuk instead of 'Shin Jae-hyuk', my feelings wouldn't have changed.
"… … Please."
At one point, the conversation stopped. The cup in my hand was almost empty.
Cha So-young, who had been keeping the conversation going without letting the mood break, must have felt the silence, but this time she kept her mouth shut.
Cha So-young's eyes were hidden by her bangs because she had her head slightly bowed, so she couldn't be seen even if you just glanced around. You would have to turn your head completely to see Cha So-young.
What to say, what to say. It's time to start talking. Feeling the coldness of the ice in the cup with my palm, I chose the words to say.
"Do you remember when we were kids?"
Then, Cha So-young opened her mouth.
"When you were young? When?"
"I think it was when I was in first grade. Our fathers told us to be friends, but you kept calling me big sister because I was tall. Do you remember?"
I hadn't even thought about it, but when you mentioned it, a memory suddenly came to me. Thinking back on it now, it was embarrassing and gave me goosebumps.
"It was the same at school. When other kids called me 'big sister,' they would ask me why I was the only one they called 'big sister.'"
"Ugh. Hey, why all of a sudden…"
Even though he spoke with a sour tone, Cha So-young did not stop.
"I teased you for about three years after that. I told you to call me 'sister' again, and I even carried you around like a doll, thinking that this is what it would feel like to have a real sibling. But I stopped because I thought you really hated it."
"… Wow. I remember all sorts of things."
I just listened quietly because it seemed like he had no intention of stopping no matter how I tried to stop him. I still hadn't figured out how to reveal my secret, and I also had nothing to say when the conversation stopped.
"We've all been on family trips together many times. Do you remember the time we all went to Incheon together in the Starex? Sohee, you, and I were playing in the backseat and got tired, so we ended up sleeping more when we actually went on the trip. Well, it doesn't matter since everyone had fun."
"…"
"Later, Sohee rode in our car and you and I rode in your aunt's car. Do you remember?"
"…huh"
Memories of my childhood, which I can no longer remember, come to the surface as if responding to Cha So-young's call.
"… I remember that. … That's good."
Cha So-young's words stopped there. I didn't understand exactly, but I didn't bother asking again. I also had a lot to think about right now.
Hoo. From Cha So-young's breathing, it seemed like she still had something to say.
"…Jaehuk."
That low voice felt somehow heavier. But this time, I was able to answer right away.
"why?"
"Don't you have anything to say to me?"
"…there is."
I barely managed to answer and swallowed hard. I thought I was ready to speak and be questioned, but hesitation suddenly rose to the tip of my throat.
"What is it?"
Silence fell again. As if to break it, Cha So-young grabbed the ice in the cup in her hand and crushed it. I shook off my hesitation.
"… Let's break up."
"…"
Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. The ice inside the cup broke into pieces and turned into powder, forming a shape somewhere between water and ice.
"That's… Oh, I've been thinking about it for a long time…"
"…What are you talking about all of a sudden?"
I closed my eyes tightly.
Your current actions may ruin the relationship between Shin Jae-hyeok and Cha So-young.
My thoughts about not wanting to deceive 'Cha So-young' could also be a manifestation of my selfishness.
But even so, I am confident that I will not regret it. I continued to speak out the words I had been holding back.
"… I guess we don't fit together very well…"
"Jaehuk, what do you mean by breaking up? … Oh, you're not suggesting we break up, are you?"
What? I turned my head and looked at Cha So-young. She must have known my piercing gaze, but Cha So-young was fiddling with the ice that had become almost liquid across the cup with a calm expression.
"You… you're my girlfriend?"
"That's right. Jaehyuk, you are my boyfriend and I am your girlfriend."
I frowned, wondering if he was joking.
"… Hey. Are you kidding me…!"
"I know. But still…"
Cha So-young turned her head to me and showed me her usual gentle smile.
"I don't want to hear Jaehyuk tell me to break up with him when he doesn't even remember dating me."