My Dungeon Daddy System: Raising Monsters and Waifus Underground

For the first time since waking up as a rock with a human body attached to it, Reed had a problem he actually liked: he was flush with cash.

Well, Mana.

[DUNGEON MANA (DM): 11.3]

[CORE XP: 32 / 100]

The numbers floated in his vision, glowing with a golden promise. After the "soft opening" with Lena's party, a few other F-rankers had poked their heads in, gotten slapped by Grika's paddle trap, and left behind enough emotional resonance to push Reed's reserves into the double digits.

He stood in the center of the Core Chamber, hands on his hips, surveying his domain.

Grika was leaning against the doorway to her workshop, wearing a new pair of goggles she'd crafted from scrap copper. She was also wearing—if you could call it that—a tool belt and not much else. Her "ventilation" strategy was becoming increasingly aggressive.

Luma was sitting on her stone beanbag, humming a wet, bubbly tune while she braided her own slime-hair. Every few seconds, a braid would dissolve into her shoulder, and she would giggle and start over.

"You've got that look again, Boss," Grika said, eyeing him. "The 'I'm about to spend money on something stupid' look."

"It's not stupid," Reed said. "It's security. We've had three parties in two days. The Guild is going to bump our rating. We can't have just you doing frontline forever."

"Excuse me?" Grika scoffed, flexing a bicep that was impressively hard for someone three feet tall. "My thighs have a 100% win rate. I haven't met a neck I can't snap."

"I know," Reed said, instinctively rubbing his own ribs where she had demonstrated that fact. "But we need a tank. Someone big. Someone scary. Someone who can hold a room while you flank."

Luma looked up, her big blue eyes wide. "Someone… big?"

Reed opened the Summon menu. He scrolled past the Goblins and the Slimes until he hit the Tier 2 unlock.

[Guardian Template: Lamia Knight – "Seraphine"]

Cost: 10 DM

Role: Floor Guardian / Boss

Trait: [Constrictor] – Why hit them when you can squeeze them?

Description: Loyal. Possessive. Very long.

"Lamia Knight," Reed announced.

Grika groaned, throwing her head back. "Oh, great. A snake. Do you know how hard it is to build armor for something that doesn't have legs? It's an engineering nightmare."

"She's a professional," Reed argued. "A knight. She'll bring some… dignity to the dungeon."

"Dignity," Grika snorted. "Is that what you call it?"

Luma leaned forward, her body squishing against her knees. "Does she have… scales? Are they smooth?"

"We're about to find out," Reed said.

He selected the template.

[CONFIRM SUMMON: Seraphine]

Cost: 10 DM

Proceed? Y/N

"Proceed."

The Core pulsed.

This summoning wasn't like the others. There was no crackle of electricity, no wet splash. There was a sound like a heavy bronze gong being struck deep underwater—a low, resonant vibration that Reed felt in his teeth.

The summoning circle etched itself into the floor in slow, majestic lines of gold and emerald light. It was huge—taking up nearly a third of the chamber.

The air grew heavy. It smelled of polished metal, old parchment, and a dry, reptilian musk that made the hairs on Reed's arms stand up.

A silhouette rose from the light.

And kept rising.

And kept rising.

She was massive. Her human upper half was Amazonian—broad shoulders, powerful arms, and a torso clad in form-fitting bronze plate that emphasized a terrifyingly impressive bust. But it was the lower half that dominated the room.

Where her legs should have been, a thick, sinuous tail coiled out of the light. It was as thick as a tree trunk at the base, covered in emerald scales that shimmered with gold highlights. Loop after loop of muscle uncoiled, filling the circle, sliding over the stone with a heavy, scraping hiss.

The light faded.

Seraphine opened her eyes. They were amber, with vertical slits, glowing with intense focus.

She looked at the room. She looked at Grika (who was actually looking up with grudging respect). She looked at Luma (who had turned a deep, admiring purple).

Then, she looked at Reed.

She towered over him. Even with her tail coiled beneath her, her eye level was a good foot above his.

Slowly, deliberately, she lowered herself. The massive coils of her tail shifted, creating a living throne of muscle as she bowed. She placed a gauntleted fist over her heart6.

"My Lord," she said. Her voice was a contralto purr, vibrating with power. "By the pulse of the Heart, I answer the call."

Reed swallowed. "Uh. Hi. Welcome to the team, Seraphine."

She raised her head. Her gaze locked onto him. She scanned him from head to toe, her pupils dilating.

"You are…" She paused, searching for the word.

"Small?" Grika supplied helpfully.

"Compact," Seraphine corrected, though her tone suggested she agreed with the goblin. "Precious."

She moved.

It wasn't a walk. It was a flow. She poured herself across the room, closing the distance in a heartbeat. Before Reed could react, a wall of warm, emerald scales slid behind him.

"Whoa," Reed gasped.

Seraphine circled him. Literally. Her tail wound around him, creating a ring of muscle. She leaned down, bringing her face inches from his. He could see the faint, diamond-shaped scales dusting her cheekbones, the heat radiating from her skin.

"You are the Avatar," she murmured, sniffing him gently. "You smell of… potential. And dust."

"We're still renovating," Reed squeaked.

"Unacceptable," Seraphine declared. "The Heart must be protected."

She tightened the circle.

Reed felt the tail press against his legs, his back, his sides. It was heavy—immensely heavy—and warm. It felt like being hugged by a living quilt that could also crush a car.

"Um, Seraphine?" Reed asked, his hands hovering uselessly near the bronze plating of her midriff. "Personal space?"

"I am a Guardian," she stated simply. "My duty is to secure the asset. You are the asset."

She shifted her coils. Suddenly, Reed's feet left the floor.

"Hey!"

Seraphine had lifted him. She held him suspended in the loops of her tail, elevated to her eye level. He was effectively trapped in a nest of snake-woman.

"Better," she decided, smiling a small, pleased smile. "Now I can inspect you properly."

Grika watched this with her arms crossed, looking torn between annoyance and amusement.

"Great," the goblin muttered. "Another one who thinks he's a plushie. Hey, scales! Put the Boss down. He bruises like a peach."

Seraphine turned her head slowly, looking at Grika.

"Goblin," she acknowledged. "You are the engineer? Your armor is… insufficient."

"My armor is breathable," Grika shot back. "And at least I don't take up the whole room just to stand still."

"I do not stand," Seraphine said, tightening her coil around Reed just enough to make him wheeze. "I dominate the space. There is a difference."

Luma, meanwhile, had slithered closer. She reached out a hesitant hand to touch a loop of Seraphine's tail.

"It's so… shiny," Luma whispered. Her fingers sank into the gap between two scales. "And warm. Can I… slide on it?"

Seraphine looked down at the slime girl. Her expression softened.

"A slime healer," she mused. "You are… soft. Very soft."

"I'm viscous!" Luma beamed.

"Acceptable," Seraphine nodded. She turned back to Reed, who was still dangling in the air, held fast by three hundred pounds of affectionate muscle.

"My Lord," she said, "where is my domain? I require a gallery. A place to test the unworthy."

"We're building it," Reed wheezed. "Floor 1 extension. But I can't show you the blueprints if you keep squeezing my lungs out."

Seraphine blinked. "Apologies. I was… enthusiastic."

She lowered him slowly, uncoiling with a reluctance that was palpable. As she released him, the tip of her tail—a sensitive, tapered point—brushed explicitly up the back of his leg, lingering for a second behind his knee.

Reed stumbled as his feet hit the floor, flushing furiously.

"Right," he said, smoothing his coat. "Okay. Let's… let's go build you a room. A big room."

"Very big," Grika muttered. "Otherwise she's gonna get tied in a knot."

Building the Knight's Gallery was less of a construction project and more of a masterclass in distraction.

Reed expanded the corridor past the safe room, opening it up into a long, rectangular hall. He raised pillars of stone in rows, creating sightlines and cover.

Seraphine insisted on "testing" every feature as he made it.

"This pillar," she said, sliding up a stone column Reed had just raised. She wrapped her tail around it, gripping it tight. "It must be sturdy."

She squeezed.

Crack.

Dust showered down.

"Too brittle," she critiqued, looking down at him from near the ceiling. Her tail was wound spirally around the column, her upper body hanging upside down like a bat, gravity apparently not applying to her breastplate.

"I'll reinforce it," Reed sighed, spending a point of Mana. "Please stop crushing my architecture."

"I must test the grip," she purred. She slid down the pillar, the sound of scales on stone filling the room—shhh-wisshhh. "If I cannot hold it firmly, how can I hold my enemies? Or my Lord?"

"Stick to enemies," Reed suggested.

She glided over to him. In the open space of the gallery, her size was even more apparent. She was easily twenty feet long from head to tail-tip.

She circled him again—she seemed unable to stop doing that. It was a territorial thing, Reed realized. She was marking the space, and him, as hers.

"My Lord," she said, stopping in front of him. She rested her hands on the hilt of her sword—a massive curved blade she'd summoned from her template. "This room… it is broad. Open. It invites a charge."

"That's the point," Reed said. "They charge in, they see you, they realize they made a mistake."

"And then?" she asked. Her eyes narrowed. "Do I kill them?"

Reed paused. This was the conversation he'd been worried about.

"No," he said firmly. "We don't kill unless we have to. We defeat them. We humble them. But we let them leave."

Seraphine frowned. Her tail twitched, slapping the floor with a loud thwack.

"Mercy?" she asked, the word tasting sour in her mouth. "I was created to guard. A dead enemy does not return."

"A dead enemy doesn't bring friends," Reed countered. "And a dead enemy doesn't generate Mana from fear and respect. We want them to fear you, Seraphine. We want them to tell stories about the Knight who could have crushed them, but chose not to."

He stepped closer to her, reaching out to touch her armored arm.

"I want them to know that you are so strong, you don't need to kill them to win."

Seraphine went still. Her pupils widened.

"Strength through restraint," she whispered. "Arrogance… weaponized."

A slow, terrifying smile spread across her face.

"I like it."

She suddenly moved, her tail sweeping out and hooking Reed's ankle. She pulled, gently but inexorably, dragging him closer until he was pressed against the bronze scales of her lower torso.

"I will be… measured," she purred, looking down at him. "I will catch them. I will squeeze them until their ribs groan and their vision fades. And then… right before they break… I will let them go."

She shivered, clearly enjoying the thought a little too much.

"It will be… exquisite."

From the doorway, Grika's voice drifted in.

"Hey! No plotting torture porn without me!"

The goblin marched in, dragging a heavy crate of scrap. Luma followed, bouncing happily.

"Is the room done?" Luma asked. "It's so big! And echoey!"

"It is a Gallery," Seraphine corrected, releasing Reed (reluctantly). She slithered up onto a raised dais Reed had created at the back of the room. She coiled herself into a neat, shimmering pile, looking like a dragon guarding a hoard.

"This is my seat," she declared. "From here, I can see everything."

Grika looked at the dais. "Nice perch, scales. Gives you a great view of everyone tripping on the uneven floor I'm gonna install."

"Collaboration," Reed said, clapping his hands. "I love it."

He checked his Mana.

[DUNGEON MANA (DM): 0.6]

[CORE XP: 44 / 100]

He was almost broke again. But looking at the room—the pillars, the shadows, the massive snake-knight looking imperiously down from her throne—it was worth it.

[MONSTER BOND – SERAPHINE UPDATED]

Loyalty: 18 (Respectful)

Trait Unlocked: [Measured Strike] – Increased chance to leave foes at 1 HP instead of lethal damage when Core Flag: Non-Lethal is active.

"One thing, though," Reed said, looking up at her.

Seraphine tilted her head. "Yes, my Lord?"

"When the adventurers come," Reed said. "Try not to look… quite so enthusiastic about the squeezing part."

Seraphine smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. It was the smile of a cat with a mouse.

"If they are distracted by my coils," she said, running a hand down the length of her own tail, "that is a tactical error on their part. I will simply… educate them."

Luma let out a small, breathless squeak. "She's so cool."

Grika rolled her eyes. "Great. Now I have two people to babysit. One who leaks, and one who wants to hug everyone to death."

"It is not hugging," Seraphine corrected, narrowing her eyes. "It is constricting."

"Same thing," Grika grinned. "Just different ending."

Reed rubbed his temples.

"Okay," he said. "Break time. Seraphine, get comfortable. Grika, trap the entrance. Luma… please stop vibrating, you're making the floor wet."

"I'm just happy!" Luma cheered.

Reed walked back toward the Core Chamber, feeling the gaze of his monsters on his back. He had a goblin gremlin, a slime fanatic, and now a dommy-mommy snake knight.

He looked at the Core.

"We're gonna need a bigger bed," he muttered.

The dungeon pulsed in agreement.