My Diary – A Twisted Yuri Romance

[Diary]

25th April 2019

Thursday (10:12 PM)

Dear Diary,

                         A few days ago we came back from our trip to GOA, even though it didn't go as expected it was still lots of fun.

When we reached our city's airport, Mr. Jansha was waiting there for us. We had informed him when we got on the flight so he came here perfectly on time. Even though the old man wasn't showing much emotion but you could clearly see into his eyes that he was overjoyed, but that emotion is only for Big Sis.

In the past when I got adopted, I really thought that the love and kindness they showered me with was genuine. They came so close to me that I almost started thinking of them as my real parents, but then I grew up and started understanding and observing things better than others.

Their masks and acting were really impressive, it took me 4 years to finally see behind those masks i.e just several months ago. After observing them carefully, 2 conclusions came to my mind.

First, love, affection, and kindness they shower Big Sis with are really honest and legitimate. I don't know why but they seem to have a huge soft spot for Big Sis in their hearts, but then maybe that's just how parents behave. My parents were a little different, so maybe most parents are just like the Jansha's. The only thing I don't understand is, why does Jansha's have so much love for Big Sis. They are literally ready to do anything for Big Sis.

Big Sis just needs to order it and they make it happen for her, even I find that somewhat strange. I mean, don't parent sometimes yell or get angry at their children? and I still haven't seen them do anything like that to Big Sis, but then again even if they wanted to it's not like I would allow it, after all only I am allowed to love Big Sis the most and only I am allowed to have romantic feelings for Big Sis. Maybe the reason for their love for Big Sis would be revealed in the future.

Lastly, the second thing that I concluded is, they only show me fake kindness and love for Big Sis's sake. They don't have any kind of positive feeling towards me, even though they hid it quite well, but now I can see the disgust they have in their eyes towards me. I can see how much they despise me.

At first, I didn't understand why did they show me, false love, if they hated me, why not show open hostility just like my mother? but now I know that the reason for that is again Big Sis. I found out that, the Jansha's adopted me not because they wanted it but because Big Sis wanted a little sister or more specifically a sibling. So, even though they didn't want to adopt anyone but because of their mysterious love for Big Sis, they finally agreed after quite a long time. Hence to show Big Sis that they love me too they put on an ideal parent mask in front of me so that Big Sis won't feel guilty or sad.

To be completely honest, I think I felt something strange when I figured everything out. For the first few days, I don't know why but I got this strange feeling of crying whenever I saw their mask again. I don't know, but I wanted to ask them 'WHY?' even though I had already figured out the reason, I wanted to hear it from their mouths. In the end, though, I never did ask them and continued to behave like a genius child.

I still can't understand why I couldn't ask them, why couldn't I confront them. Maybe somewhere, how Big Sis would feel was holding me back but I know that's not the major reason, then again my whole life is ahead of me, maybe I would really find out the answers to these questions somewhere down the line.

I was also able to learn, two more important lessons from this. I never want to feel like that again, I never want to feel that weak again, so the only people I would think of as my parents would be my real mother and father, as thinking of them makes me feel motivated to never be like them and not feel like crying when I started thinking of Jansha's as my parents.

Second, in this world, only one to genuinely love me is Big Sis. I started having these delusions that maybe the Jansha's also loved me but that just leads me to weakness and unsure feelings. So, nobody in this world will love me other than Big Sis. I only need Big Sis's love. Every other person's love or kindness is nothing but a farce for everyone around to enjoy and watch. Their kindness is covered with fake masks. That's why I need to become powerful enough to protect Big Sis the only one who doesn't have a mask in front of me and only to show me her real face and self.

But well, for now, let's get back on track. Mr. Jansha drove us back to the home. Mrs. Jansha was also waiting outside the door and immediately embraced Big Sis the moment she stepped out of car, the old lady even started crying. Of course, she also hugged me but I couldn't sense anything but contempt towards me.

By now, I am used to their fake masks and only act along because they are important pieces for my wonderful life with Big Sis to come into reality. I think I should also tell Big Sis about their fake masks towards me, after all, I can never hide anything from Big Sis and Big Sis also deserved to know the truth and not be kept in the dark.

After that heartwarming welcome, we had some expensive lunch and dinner. Big Sis, started telling them how much fun she had and what sort of stuff we did. Of course, not the actual fun part but just lies upon lies. The next day, everything returned back to normal.

Yesterday, Big Sis went to Jyoti's house and planned with her what to do in the future. Even though I ask Big Sis to tell me what they are planning but she always just tell me 'not we, only I am planning, she's just a plaything and as for what I have planned, that's a surprise.'

So, even though I don't like being kept in dark but since Big Sis said it is a surprise, I will be faithful to her and not think about it too much. After everything that Big Sis says is true.

From now on, I have 1 and a half year of school remaining, while Big Sis has half a year remaining in school before graduating. Big Sis said she would wait for a year before going to university so that we can be in the same year and possibly classes. During that 1 year drop, she would focus only on getting prepared to take over Mr. Jansha's company.

Then in university, we would work even harder to officially take over the company, or that's how the plan goes but obviously, there are going to many problems going on ahead. Many questions to find answers to, many obnoxious and meaningless people to deal with, a lot more planning to do and traps to set so that we can achieve our goal and even after that to maintain that position and make it grow even more. Honestly these things just never end, but Big Sis will be with me all the time from start to finish and even beyond.

Mayuri

[Mayuri's POV]

*Yaaaaaaaaawwnnn* this diary also got filled. I think I should buy a thick one so that it doesn't get finished quickly.

Now to start Diary #25 and store this Diary #24 in Big Sis's collection armoire and lock it safe. OH! Big Sis should be cutting hair tomorrow, so I need to get more sampling bags to collect them and fill up armoire of paradise.