My Demon Friends

"Mmmph mmmph mmmph?"

Brother Nan was brushing her teeth while talking to Zhou Li, her mouth full of white foam. With the toothbrush dangling from her lips, she looked rather cute.

Zhou Li glanced up and noticed her cowlick.

"Mmmph mmmph mmmph!"

"I can't understand you."

"..."

Brother Nan finally went to the bathroom to spit out the foam. She then poked her head out and said to him, "I was asking you something!"

"What?"

"I asked if you brushed your teeth."

"I just rinsed with water."

"Oh."

Brother Nan quickly finished brushing her teeth, washed her face, and even applied a face mask before coming out.

Zhou Li gave her a surprised look.

Brother Nan immediately understood. She must be referring to the face mask, she thought, then explained aloud, "I stayed up all night yesterday, remember? Plus, it's a bit dry in winter, so I need to hydrate."

"I see."

"So, what should we do this afternoon?" Brother Nan asked, sitting down beside him.

"I don't know."

"How about we go find Little Zheng?"

"You decide."

"Then let's go." Brother Nan said. She quickly pressed the face mask near her mouth and continued, "We can take the vegetables over to her and hang out for a couple of days. I have to go back to my hometown in a few days. My parents probably won't come up until after the fifteenth."

"Oh."

"Have you ever 'stolen greens'?"

"No."

"Do people 'steal greens' where you're from?"

"I don't think so."

"Then how do you know what 'stealing greens' is?"

"I heard some classmates talking about it."

"How about I take you guys to 'steal greens' on the fifteenth of the first lunar month?"

"Sure."

"That's settled then. I'll scout a good spot on the afternoon of the fifteenth. You guys can drive over to find me after dinner, and we'll head back after the 'stealing.' It's not very convenient to buy vegetables in the city these days anyway, so we can 'steal' a bit more."

"Hmm."

The so-called 'stealing greens' was, quite literally, stealing vegetables.

According to local custom, on the evening of the fifteenth of the first lunar month, people could go up the mountain to steal vegetables, believing it would bring them good luck for the coming year.

This was not considered theft.

Usually, children from the village or nearby hamlets were the main culprits. Adults participated too, but mostly symbolically. When Zhou Li was in high school, he'd heard the Two Golden Flowers, who sat in front of him, mention that they used to take sacks to 'steal greens' when they were kids.

Most farmers would bring their valuable vegetables home before this day or splash manure on crops like garlic scapes.

A few very stingy farmers would even stand guard in their fields. Those who kept watch overnight were considered the worst and would often get an earful.

The geographical distribution of this custom was somewhat erratic. It wasn't exclusive to Yan City, yet not every part of Yan City observed it. For instance, Zhou Li had never heard of it as a child, so he didn't have any particular expectations for 'stealing greens.'

But seeing Brother Nan's enthusiasm, it seems like it could be a lot of fun, Zhou Li thought. Thus, he began to look forward to it too.

Just then, Brother Nan suddenly asked, "Isn't your birthday coming up soon? I remember you saying it's around the New Year."

"You have a good memory."

"Which day of the first lunar month is it?"

"The sixteenth."

"Oh! Time's up for the mask."

She removed the face mask and patted her face—TAP, TAP, TAP—making a soft, crisp sound.

Zhou Li watched her silently from the side. He saw her cheeks quiver with each pat, looking so moist and tender. He was suddenly reminded of how her skin had felt an hour ago, but damp like this, it seemed different.

He felt an impulse to help Brother Nan pat her face, but he was afraid of getting slapped.

After that, Brother Nan washed her face again, applied toner and lotion, and then began to rummage through the fridge and kitchen, looking for something to eat.

Zhou Li had finally come to her home, and during the New Year no less. I can't disappoint him, Brother Nan thought.

The dishes brought from her hometown were plentiful and delicious, but they were, after all, leftovers reheated, and cooked by someone else. I should at least cook a couple of dishes myself to show some sincerity, Brother Nan felt.

She found lots of frozen beef, frozen seafood, and frozen chicken wings.

Can't cook those, she thought, skipping them. And these... also can't cook.

There was quite a lot of food in the house. Mom and Dad probably didn't expect to stay in their hometown for so long, Brother Nan guessed.

So, while inwardly grumbling, Why did they leave so much food here? she pretended the pickings were slim. "I only found two potatoes and a few green peppers that are about to go bad, plus a basket of century eggs. I can make stir-fried shredded potatoes. I love shredded potatoes! Let me tell you, my hot and sour shredded potatoes are to die for."

"We can also have green peppers with century eggs."

"That would be great with alcohol, but too bad we can't drink. We have to go find Little Zheng this afternoon, and I'm driving."

"Sigh..." She sighed, then started cooking the rice.

It wasn't until eleven o'clock that she began to cook the other dishes.

Brother Nan was very picky about food and had an extremely sensitive palate. People like her actually had great potential in cooking.

Brother Nan's lack of cooking skills stemmed purely from a lack of practical experience. She had always been a bit of a slacker, just getting by, but her theoretical knowledge of cooking was surprisingly extensive.

She had mentioned before that she could only cook a few dishes—the simplest ones. But she hadn't mentioned that she was actually very good at those particular dishes.

In truth, she could probably cook other dishes too. Many recipes were quite similar, after all. It was just that if she wasn't good at something, she'd rather not make it at all.

In any case, she thoroughly impressed Zhou Li that day.

The hot and sour shredded potatoes, with pickled peppers, were crisp and appetizing. The cold dish of green peppers with century eggs seemed simple, requiring no special technique, yet it was incredibly comforting. The combined aroma of the green peppers and century eggs was harmonious and made one crave more rice.

「Three in the afternoon. Mingjiu Mountain.」

Brother Nan sat in the car, eating the walnuts Zhou Li had shelled for her. "The scenic area is closed, so let's just park here," she said. "I know a small path nearby we can use to sneak in... Look, there's even someone burning incense at the mountain gate."

The two of them shouldered their bags, pulled up their masks, and indeed, they saw several thick incense sticks smoldering in the copper cauldron at the mountain gate.

But there was no sign of the person who'd lit them.

The recent closure of the scenic area didn't mean people couldn't climb the mountain; locals could still go up. Besides, some people actually lived on the mountain. At the entrance to the scenic area stood a temple, glittering with gold and splendor, a stark contrast to the dilapidated Zhihong Guan. During the New Year, people from nearby would come to offer incense. Brother Nan had told him that in previous years, many people would come to snatch the first incense offering on New Year's Day, queuing overnight and paying a hefty sum for the privilege.

There were fewer people during the pandemic, but still some.

"There's a fortune-teller."

Brother Nan spotted a middle-aged man in a Tang suit sitting under a statue near the gate. She chuckled, "Come on, let's go tease him!"

Zhou Li followed behind her.

Brother Nan approached the fortune-teller. Seeing he was wearing sunglasses, she bent down respectfully and asked, "Venerable sir, is it that your eyes cannot see?"

"Not clearly."

"Oh, is that what they call the 'five impairments and three deficiencies'?" Brother Nan, who struggled to memorize her school texts, had no trouble remembering tidbits like these.

"Indeed."

"Venerable sir, why are you wearing a mask? I thought people with your kind of spiritual cultivation were immune to all diseases."

"To avoid the judgment of worldly folk."

"Oh! Impressive, impressive!"

"Care for a fortune-telling?" the middle-aged 'venerable sir' asked.

"What can you predict?"

"Marriage prospects, wealth, luck, lifespan... past lives, future incarnations—I can divine anything," the 'venerable sir' said, his tone languid and dripping with self-importance.

"Then tell my fortune. I've been having terrible luck recently," Brother Nan sighed. "I'm wondering if I've encountered something...unclean? This morning, when I was half asleep, I felt like a ghost was hovering in front of me."

"One thousand. Exorcisms are an additional charge."

"...And marriage prospects?"

"That depends on how detailed a prediction you desire."

"Just take a look at me and this guy here." Brother Nan pulled Zhou Li over with one hand. "Tell us if we're fated to be together."

"Two hundred."

"Ten yuan!"

"One hundred and fifty."

"Fifteen!"

After some haggling, they settled on fifty yuan. Brother Nan added, "And you only get paid after you're done!"

The 'venerable sir' didn't argue. In this line of work, it's all about the gift of gab, isn't it? If I can't even convince a young girl to part with her money, what am I even doing in this business? he thought.

"Give me a number."

"What kind of number? Birth date and time?"

"Just any number, whatever comes to your mind," the 'venerable sir' said. "However, if you want me to compare your birth charts for compatibility, that'll be an extra fifty."

"Pi."

"What?"

"Pi."

"Pie what?"

"Pi. The mathematical constant. An infinite, non-repeating decimal." This fortune-teller is really uncultured, Brother Nan thought. "It starts with 3.1415926... I don't remember the rest. Wait, I'll look up the first hundred digits online for you. You can make do with those."

"..."

"Please don't mind her, sir, she's a bit...eccentric," Zhou Li hurriedly intervened, his cheeks burning. "3.1415926535897932384626... you can just use that."

"..."

"Wow, you memorized that many digits!" Brother Nan exclaimed in surprise.

"There's a mnemonic for it." The version of the mnemonic Zhou Li knew went that far, and he'd heard there were even longer ones.

The 'venerable sir' peered at them through his sunglasses. He could sense they were just trying to mess with him. Truthfully, he was a bit annoyed.

"You two... to achieve a harmonious union... it might be difficult..." he intoned.

CRACK!

Brother Nan crushed a walnut in one hand.

The fortune-teller looked up, his gaze meeting hers. He then glanced to the side. There had been a villager at the mountain gate just moments ago, but that person had finished burning incense and gone home. The area was now quiet and deserted.

"AHEM!"

The fortune-teller coughed, then proclaimed slowly, "However, you two are undoubtedly a fine match. No need to worry on that front."

"Really?"

"Yes."

The fortune-teller extended his hand toward Brother Nan.

Zhou Li had already taken out his wallet, but Brother Nan snatched it from him.

"You Jianghu swindler! You didn't even bother to make up some profound-sounding nonsense. You're really phoning it in, aren't you?" Brother Nan grumbled, taking ten yuan from her bag and placing it in the 'venerable sir's' hand.

"Take it or leave it!"

Why would I refuse? the fortune-teller thought. Sitting here under the shade of a deity's statue, earning ten yuan for a few words, was far easier than the hard work of those who went door-to-door, performing dragon and lion dances while reciting auspicious rhymes.

The 'venerable sir' skillfully accepted the money and retorted with a smile, "Alright then, I'll throw in one more piece of advice, free of charge. Judging by your facial features... that um... you should be wary of a third party interfering."

"That 'um'?"

Brother Nan was shocked beyond belief. Could anyone in the world be less professional than this guy?

"The secrets of heaven must not be divulged," the fortune-teller said, looking profound.

"Believe it or not, I could flip your stall over!" Brother Nan threatened playfully.

"It's a pandemic. Keep your distance."

"HA HA..."

This fake blind man is actually pretty amusing, Brother Nan thought.

Flipping his stall was out of the question, of course. Everyone was just trying to make a living, and life wasn't easy. At worst, he was just taking a slightly crooked path. I was just bored and looking for some fun, and in the end, I even gave him ten yuan. Brother Nan mused.

Ten yuan was enough to buy two bowls of noodles in town.