NOVEL NEXT Chapter 42
Chapter 42: Chapter 42
Chapter 42
Hyoyoung was a pretty smart girl. She did fairly well in school, and she was a kind soul.
To Mikyung, Hyoyoung reminded her of her older sister Yoonseul.
Smart, lovely, and happy.
At first, Mikyung didn’t want to be Hyoyoung’s friend. In fact, she wanted to avoid Hyoyoung because she was afraid that Hyoyoung might end up hurting her, just like her own sister did.
Despite it all, Mikyung couldn’t help but become friends with her. Hyoyoung was such a happy and optimistic person that Mikyung was drawn to her.
And for the first time after becoming Hyoyoung’s friend, Mikyung called her sister. It had been over a year since Yoonseul went to France to study, and when Mikyung called her, Yoonseul panicked.
“Mikyung! Is something wrong? Did something happen at home?”
Mikyung was surprised to hear her sister so worried. She replied, “Umm, no…”
“Then why did you call me?”
“Why? Can’t I call my own sister?”
“No, it’s not that you can’t… of course, you can! It’s just…”
“I called because I miss you, Unnie.”
Mikyung said it in an indifferent voice, but Yoonseul was quiet for a long time. After a heavy silence, Yoonseul finally asked, “Then… can I go to Korea for a visit during my breaks from now on?”
Mikyung could hear Yoonseul tearing up, and she was heartbroken. Mikyung wondered, ‘What have I done…? What did I do to my own sister…?’
Mikyung felt terribly guilty, but as usual, Yoonseul was very understanding. Yoonseul even consoled her little sister as she explained why she left. She revealed that she was worried Mikyung might feel unwanted at home because she was getting all the attention. Yoonseul also explained that she didn’t visit even during her vacation not because she had to work, but because she was thinking of Mikyung and how she might feel about it.
Realizing how much her older sister cared about her, Mikyung cried for a long time as she held onto her phone.
Soon after, Yoonseul came back to Korea for a visit, and Mikyung had the best two months of her life. She introduced Yoonseul to Hyoyoung and the three of them even went to an amusement park together. The sisters talked everything out during that time, and Mikyung thought she was over her sense of inadequacy.
However, she was wrong.
Recently when Hyoyoung started to keep secrets, the unpleasant feelings and fears started to come back to Mikyung. That was why she acted obsessively towards Hyoyoung with her texts. Mikyung desperately wanted Hyoyoung to become honest again.
The first time Mikyung felt her trust towards Hyoyoung fracture was when Hyojun showed up at her school. Hyoyoung always complained about her brother, calling him an idiot, but in reality, Hyojun was a gorgeous-looking guy. Mikyung suddenly felt betrayed and jealous, and she knew it was not a good sign. She felt horrible at her own reaction, and she tried her best not to show any of it. All she wanted was Hyoyoung’s trust, and she kept waiting for Hyoyoung to confide in her, but it didn’t happen.
And finally, when there was no denying that Hyoyoung was lying to her, it was over.
Objectively speaking, the whole thing wasn’t enough to break their friendship. If Mikyung was a little more patient and understanding, perhaps things could’ve turned out differently. But the trauma from her childhood for being the ‘less-important’ child was too much. Mikyung couldn’t help her own reaction.
The truth was, Mikyung was angrier at herself than at Hyoyoung. She was furious about her own feelings.
Jealousy.
Mikyung hated herself for having such low self-esteem.
For hurting herself.
She was ashamed of herself, and she felt unhappy at Hyoyoung for making her feel this way. For making her reveal her weak and ugly side.
Mikyung murmured to herself, “You have everything, Hyoyoung. It’s not fair. I hate you.”
She tried her best to control her tears and anger.
Meanwhile, after Mikyung left, Hyoyoung remained in the café. Her face was blank as she quietly watched the world go by. The café was quite full of people living their lives. There was a guy with headphones listening to music and humming. There was also a couple who were looking at each other with love. Another guy was sitting nearby, studying with a frustrated frown, while a pretty girl was focused on touching up her mascara.
‘Everyone looks so happy and relaxed. Am I the only one who feels frustrated? Am I the only one with such a complicated life?’
It seemed like she was the only one with an unfair life, and this made Hyoyoung sad.
“Phew…”
“Your sigh is so heavy that it could break the table.”
“GYAAAA!”
“NOPE! I won’t scream this time, I was ready for it. Why do you scream every time I show up?”
It was Jiwoo.
Everyone at the café stared at Hyoyoung. She flushed in embarrassment and lowered her face. Jiwoo sat closer to her and whispered, “So… why did your best friend get so angry?”
She looked up in surprise. She stammered, “H-how? H-how did you know? Were you watching me? Since when? Why?”
“Oh, you left home in such a hurry and I was bored, so I followed you. It looked like something interesting was going to happen.”
“So you tailed me?”
“No, not tailing. I just followed you.”
“…You are ridiculous!”
“Yup, and I saw that your friend got angry and left. And you just sat here like you lost everything.”
“So you saw the whole thing…?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Well, if you heard and saw everything, why are you asking me? This all happened because of the secret about you oppas.”
“Secret about us? It didn’t look like it was about that…”
“What do you mean?”
“It didn’t seem like your friend is mad at you. I think she is angry at herself because of you. But you didn’t do anything wrong. The reason she is angry at you is you, but it’s not the real reason.”
“Oppa, I always find you really hard to understand. What are you talking about?”
“So, she is angry at how you behaved.”
“Ok.”
“But she is angrier at herself for getting angry at you.”
“Alright.”
“But she isn’t angry at you.”
“What…?”
“She is angry at your actions, but she isn’t angry at you.”
“What does that mean? Is it like you are hungry but you don’t really want to eat anything…?”
“No. It just means that your existence makes her feel unhappy, but she realizes that it is not your fault. And she hates herself for even thinking or feeling this way. I can see that she really hates herself for it.”
“My… My existence makes her unhappy?”
Hyoyoung looked up at him in shock. Jiwoo took a deep breath, and after a short hesitation, he replied in an unusually serious voice, “I know this because, to me, Hyunsuk and Hyojun are like that.”