My Best Friend Begged Me To Steal His Heroines

Life is but a series of struggles. At school or at work, in romance or in friendships, whatever and wherever it may be, life provides an endless legion of obstacles for us to test our mettle against. 

One place where life should most certainly not  test us, however, is in the comfort of our own home. Why, then, can I seemingly not get a moment's peace even here?

"Guess who~" Someone blocked my vision from behind, calling out with a gentle lilt just as I was about to take a sip of my freshly made Pu'er. The voice was soft, sweet, and hell somehow even fluffy. 

I smelled vanilla in the air. Even if I was blind, deaf, and dumb, I'd recognize her from that alone. "Could it possibly be the once-in-a-millennium beauty, Mio-nee?" I responded indulgently. A faint giggle was let out near my ear.

"Correct as always, Saki! Ten thousand gold stars!" The young woman replied happily. I felt a cool peck on my cheek before my sight was returned. Mio-nee then draped her arms around my shoulders, resting her cheek against my own as she leaned over the sofa. 

Strands of pink tickled my nose, blown by the nearby fan. Mio-nee was often changing her hairstyle. The past few months it was rather simple with a few streaks of pink to complement her fair golden locks. She was the only natural blonde in the family aside from our mother and the current style gave off a calming feminine atmosphere. 

"Is that Oolong?" She sniffed and asked with clear machinations. 

"No," I shook my head. "But here, try." I raised the cup to her lips without a word. She drank and blinked in surprise but melted on top of me a moment later, her normally elegant face going slack.

"Woah," She smiled dreamily, "What was that?"

"Pu'er, my dearest Mio-nee. What do you think?"

She licked her lips, clearly pleased. "Divine," Was her wholehearted evaluation. "You make the best tea, Saki. How do you do it?"

"Well, it's a delicate process," I began patiently. " I won't bore you with the details, but it all comes down to water temp, tea-to-water ratio, and steep time. This last one varies, but you usually give the first cup around ten to twenty seconds before throwing it out onto the tray." I gestured to the tray on the table before me.  The tea tray, which I just mentioned, has slots running along its length to dump the spill water. Or rather,  the first cup.

"Why would you throw it out?" Mio muttered. "Such a waste."

"Its called rinsing the tea leaves. It awakens the leaves and gets rid of any impurities. The first cup is also the weakest flavor-wise, so we just feed it to the tea pets." I pointed to the small ceramic cat figures sitting next to the lidded cup, which is where the tea leaves go in. "Tea drinking is meant to be a slow process because the flavors change  over time, becoming deeper and more complex with each cup."  I demonstrated this by putting more hot water into the aforementioned cup. "Give it a few minutes." 

We waited for about two and a half minutes before I took a tiny strainer with very fine holes and placed it over an equally tiny pitcher. Then I poured the contents of the lidded cup into it, careful to not let the bigger chunks of Pu'er pass through. As the pitcher was glass, you could see a dark liquid. 

"See? Its a deeper color than that last cup." I poured. " Here, taste." Once more, I brought the cup to her petal-pink lips.

She drank slowly, savoring it. After a moment I sat the cup back down. "Well?" I prompted. 

Mio-nee turned around with her back towards the sofa and slid down next to me, her face radiating pure and utter bliss as she stared up at the ceiling.

"Heaven~" She sighed contentedly. I nodded sagely, both of us lapsing into a calm silence as we shared this nectar of the gods.

"Say, Saki," She called after a while.

"Hm?" I glanced to my side, where Mio was now sitting with her hands wrapped around a cup of her own. 

"What made you so into tea brewing anyway?"

At that  I offered a casual laugh. It sounded unbearably hollow. "When one is so deprived of life's pleasures, even small ones like tea drinking become precious. Naturally, you make the most of it."

In other words: Drinking tea is one of the few moments of vibrance my tongue has to look forward to throughout the day, so of course I made sure to become world-class at brewing it.

Mio-nee seemed somewhat concerned. "Why does that sound vaguely sad?"

I wanted to cry. Like with Yamamoto-sensei, I lifted up my shirt. "Mio-nee...what do you see?"

The older woman stared at my abdomen blankly for a moment. A look of doubt washed over her face before saying, "...Sin?"

"The hell?" I glared. "No, it's child abuse!" I shouted angrily. 

Mio put a finger to her chin in consideration as she stared. "Hmmm." She shook her head. "Yeah, no, I don't think the word 'child' applies to you anymore, Saki. You know?" 

"...My youth..." 

Mio-nee saw my dispirited face and rubbed my head. "There, there," She cooed gently. "It's okay, Saki, you'll always be Mio-nee's cute little brother no matter how adult-like your body becomes." Mio-nee brought me into her arms. I found a bit of comfort in her fluffy embrace, becoming slightly more at ease. Her warmth and that familiar scent were truly relaxing, making me doze off more and more with each passing second. I could feel all my troubles becoming dust. Ah, this was dangerous...I feel like I was going to float off any minute...

"Saki, by the way, I have this little get-together that I was invited to by some old classmates of mine. If its not too much trouble, could you--"

"NO!" I tore myself away and resolutely refused. 

"Eh, why? Come on, come on, its nothing too hard, is it? Last time went so well."

I felt my cheek twitch, barely containing the urge to smack her. I narrowed my eyes. "Last time was horrible," I spoke with a clear edge in my voice. "Why would you even ask that?" 

To explain, some time ago Mio-nee was invited to a wedding celebration by a co-worker with whom she didn't really have a good relationship. They were the type who loved to gossip, her co-workers, so they often talked about relationships and scandals and whatever all the time. Eventually the topics turned to Mio-nee. Specifically, whether she was dating or not. Mio-nee, in all her mischievous glory, thought it'd be funny to base a fake boyfriend off of me and so when the wedding invite came she was pressured into bringing her "boyfriend" around.

Meaning me. Which probably would've worked, and did rather well for a while...except that as the night went on, some of the women there got rather...bold with me.

"It wasn't that bad." She avoided my eyes.

"Wasn't that bad?" I repeated dumbly. "I was nearly arrested!"

 First, there was the younger sister of the groom and the cousin of the bride. A few bridesmaids kept pestering me, too. Well it was alright for the most part except for when Mio-nee got distracted by some sweets at the buffet table and left me alone. If Suzu-nee was there, she would've definitely beaten her up since one of the Cardinal Rules of the Tsukishima family was "Never leave Misaki unattended out in public." Which, really, I found annoying. Even if they didn't trust others, was I so unreliable?

Mio-nee was the most lax amongst my sisters, however. So sometimes, once in a great while, she let herself slip. It was also one of the reasons why they had actually snuck out that day, because Suzu and Riko-nee would've insisted on coming to keep an eye on me and that'd raise a lot of unwanted questions and there's no way those two would play along.

Anyway, the cousin trying to get me drunk and attempting to pull down my pants was already bad enough, but that younger sister even tried to whisk me off somewhere under the ruse of escaping. Then she started taking off her clothes and kissing my neck. When I stood my ground and refused her she started crying to the groom about how I tried to assault her and how I " needed to take responsibility." Like honestly what kind of bullshit was that? Anyone with a brain could tell it was a poorly veiled excuse, especially when I had her lipstick on all over my neck.

Understandably, this escalated with me getting into a fistfight with the man. It started with him punching me, causing the man's sister to scream some nonsense like, "No, don't hurt him!" Which really just annoyed the hell out of me because it was her goddamn fault I was getting clocked to begin with. In any case, the fight ended with him getting knocked out and falling into the wedding cake. Because some cake shops use wooden sticks to hold the layers in place, he also ended up with one piercing his shoulder. 

This led to a complete meltdown among the guests as an ambulance was called in along with the authorities. Thankfully many eyewitnesses spoke in my favor, from the unwanted advances to the groom striking first. Mio-nee had to come clean about my age and our fabricated relationship to resolve any legal implications. It was decided to keep the matter quiet so no one had to spend the night in jail, but I still think the sister of the groom should've been lynched at the very least. Making such lies, she was a bad egg alright.  I feel sorry for the next guy who rejects her.

"Ah, right...well, that won't happen this time, 'kay?" She smiled serenely. "It's a masquerade anyway, so--" She broke off and went silent at my look.

I was just staring at her like the maniac she is. "You don't learn, do you? Didn't Suzu-nee hit you enough back then? Do you ache for the dumbbell of love this much?" My words caused her to flinch as memories resurfaced. 

Then she said, "Ah, that's right!" She exclaimed, changing the subject. "That's why I came. Suzu-nee wanted you in the workout room again. He-he, I nearly forgot," She knocked her head.  

"Seriously? I just got home!" I protested. "She really needs to start paying me at this rate. Better yet, she needs to start paying someone else and have them help instead."

The woman shrugged. "Well, she said she's already trained you so good that it's just convenient to have you do it. Since you're always home anyway."

"Isn't that your guy's fault I'm always here?"

"What?" Mio's face turned a touch angry. "Are you saying you don't want to stay home even when you have such pretty, kind and generous older sisters to coddle you?" Her tone was incensed, but her moist eyes and trembling bottom lip were impossible to ignore. 

Though with Mio-nee, you can't trust anything. She was too adorable and she knew it, so you had to be wary. This? This was nothing but a lie, a ruse to get me to comfort and reassure her. 

Probably. 

I averted my gaze, pretending not to see. "Good tea," I mumbled after taking a sip.

"Tsk. You're heartless, Saki," She pouted.  "But, well, thats also cute in it's own way," I could hear the grin even if I couldn't see it. She lunged at me, nearly causing me to spill. I was once again all wrapped up, the scent of vanilla assaulting my nostrils. 

Though rather than comforting, I currently found he way she rubbed our faces together rather irritating. "Hm, so silky and cool." She commented happily. "Like the underside of my pillow. Its the best, the best ever~ Hmm, hm, hm, hm, hmmm~!" 

"Alright, alright, that's enough," I pushed her face away. "I should get going before Suzu-nee gets impatient."

"Eh? No, stay with Nee-chan a few more minutes....just a few, m'kay? " Her hands flailed in the air for me, just out of reach. 

"Come on, knock it off." I frowned. "Really, do you want the dumbell of love again? Should I call Suzu-nee down?"

Thankfully, the threat got her to behave. She folded her arms with a petulant humph. "Fine, I'll let you go."

"Thank you." I stood to leave only for her to grab my wrist. I looked down and saw her tapping her cheek expectantly. 

Rolling my eyes at this silly old tradition, I leaned over and kissed her cheek. Thinking I was done, or rather hoping so, I rose again only for her to rise with me and poke my side.  

This time her arms were raised. "Huggies." She said. 

"Really? Every time? Aren't I getting a bit old for this by now?" I tried to negotiate.

"Huggies!" She repeated insistently, steel in her eyes. Really, why is it only when it comes to this that she gets so stern?

Muttering obscenities in my heart, I relented. I understood by now that if I broke this particular Cardinal Rule of the Tsukishima household, the world would fall. I had no choice. I had to sacrifice myself for the greater good. And so, with a heavy heart, I embraced my sister. She wrapped herself around me, squeezing so tight I thought I'd burst any minute. 

But I held it in even as she buried her face in my neck and clamped down even tighter. "Up," She demanded selfishly. I had no choice but to acquiesce, grabbing her from her waist and lifting her in the air a bit. I swung her left and right, causing her to giggle.

The rule of "Misaki must give huggles and kisses to his adorable sisters every time he leaves them" was the first and most important their family had come up with all those years ago. It was also the one most heavily enforced...to the point I kept hoping they'd forget it one day. I'm really getting too old to keep this one up, surely.  

"Okay, you can go now." She graciously allowed, giving me one final peck on the cheek. "Do you mind if I finish that?" She pointed to the Pu'er.

"Have at it." Better than having it go to waste.

"You treat me so well, Saki. Love you~" She waved as I walked off, shoulders heavy.

Really, no peace at all.

***

We lived in a rather spacious house due to our family being pretty well-off. Suzu-nee, as a personal fitness instructor, usually meets her clients at one of the public gyms in the city. But some are a bit shy or have had bad experiences in the past. So she turned one of the many rooms of our house into a workout area. It was upstairs with two giant glass walls overlooking an artificial pond in the back yard so it got a lot of natural sunlight. 

A perfect place for a fitness area. It was large, too, so a lot of equipment fit in rather comfortably with plenty of room to spare.  

I walked in after changing out of my uniform and into a comfortable set of charcoal grey cotton track pants and a sleeveless light blue shirt. It was one of the sets prepared by Riko-nee, something about the colors doing something with my eyes.

I don't see why it mattered in this scenario though, no one would see them anyway.

"Saki!" Suzu-nee jogged down the hall as she caught sight of me. "Finally!" She huffed irritably. "What took you so long?"

"Mio-nee was doing Mio-nee things," I replied curtly. It was more than enough explanation. 

"Tsk," The woman clicked her tongue. "That dang scatterbrain, she always gets distracted! Ugh, whatever. Here, your headpiece." She handed over a large animal-shaped mask like what a mascot would wear during a sports game. 

"Does it always have to be bunny-shaped?" I grumbled. "Don't you have any different ones?"

"What do I look like, a furry?" Suzu-nee glowered, taking a scrunchy and tying up her long, flowing locks of maroon. It wasn't her natural color, obviously, but Mio insisted it made her look "Uber-hot," to quote her exact words. And really, it did. Well, she'd look good in anything. Our genes were blessed, to say the least. But this shade suited her vibrant and sporty aura.

"You're lucky I even had that. Stop complaining, will ya? I really need you today. I double-booked by mistake." 

"You always double-book." I pointed out.

"Not always," She cleared her throat. "I'm just forgetful sometimes. Besides, I have a new client today. A big fish this time," She grinned. "She and her daughter should be in any second, but I'm also going to be working with a regular so I can't be with the kid. That's where you come in."

"Tsk," It was my turn to click my tongue. "Kid? What am I, a babysitter?" I rolled my eyes. "How old is she?

"Well, she's pretty young. I've only seen a few pictures, but she's a cute little thing. You'll get along fine," She turned on her heel. "Now hurry up and put it on."

"This is slave labor, " I bitched. "I hate this thing. It's hot and makes my neck itchy."

"Hey, its your fault you have to wear that."

Hell no.  She did not just say that. "My fault?" I was struck with righteous indignation. "I was almost molested!" 

To explain, a year or so back when I first started helping Suzu-nee with her clients, there was a certain incident. Once again, it happened when I was left alone. Suzu-nee had stepped out to go buy some food after a session, leaving me with one of her clients. By then I had gotten used to seeing her, having helped out Suzu-nee for around two weeks by that point. I had decent impressions of the lady, she seemed like the kind older sister type much like Mio-nee so I got comfortable around her and Suzu-nee trusted her too. Probably. Though as protective as she was, she did try pretty hard to make me come with her that day. But I convinced her I'd be fine, so she eventually backed down.

It was a lie, all a lie. As soon as Suzu-nee left, the woman asked me to help her with a kind of "cool-down stretch". First, though, she handed me a bottle and insisted I drink. The water had been rather peculiar-tasting and perhaps that should have set off an alarm, but who thinks about these kinds of things? Its not something that happens often enough to a guy for us to be wary.

 As for the stretch itself, it consisted of stripping off her tights and assuming the "child support is only 18 years" position.  Honestly, I was a bit offended she thought I had to be drugged first. I mean its not like I'm not interested in women, my sisters just liked to keep me on a tight leash.

Thankfully(?) though Suzu-nee forgot her keys, or I'd have entered fatherhood.  Definitely, absolutely. I'd have become a daddy even if I didn't end up knocking the woman up, let's say. But, fortunately(?) it was not to be. In any case, Suzu-nee then came up with the idea of hiding my face under a mask to prevent any similar cases in the future.

This incident was also, at least I assume, the definitive reason why the "never leave Misaki alone" rule came into being. Well, Suzu-nee had been pushing for that rule to be made official for years, but it was only until then that Riko and Mio-nee saw the need for such extremes. It being so new is likely why Mio-nee had forgotten about it during that wedding, now that I think of it.

"All I'm saying is that when I said you should come with me that day, you should have come," She gave a tired, exasperated sigh. 

"Hey, I'm entitled to at least a modicum of freedom. I'm not a child, you know. I don't want to be constantly monitored by my older sisters."

She stopped dead in her tracks and whirled on me. "Freedom?" She asked, clearly exasperated. "That's ridiculous."

"Really? How?" 

"I mean honestly, Saki, don't you understand by now that things like that are just going to keep happening if you go wandering off on your own? You should obediently stay by your Nee-sans' sides at all times. You can't trust anyone, Saki, especially not women."

"Bit of a blanket statement, don't you think?"

"No, Saki," She held her head. "You don't get it. I meant that you, specifically, can't trust women. Idiot." Another sigh. "They're all just lustful bitches, slaves to their disgusting desires. Someone like Saki is fated to be hounded by them. Thats why you have me, Riko and Mio. To keep you safe."

Suzu-nee is quite a dramatic person. I didn't take her statements to heart. She's always been like this with me, so it was nothing new. She didn't quite like Mio-nee clinging to me all the time either, let alone anyone else. This overprotectiveness is both endearing and stifling. 

"How the heck do you guys expect me to find a wife in the future at this rate."

"Nonsense, Saki. You just need to find a woman we approve of is all."

"But aren't all women just lustful bitches?"

"Of course."

"So..."

"So, don't worry about it. Trust in Nee-sama here." She pounded her chest confidently. "I'll find you a nice one someday."

"When, might I ask?"

"Someday." She evaded.

"Specifically? A timeframe, if you'd please." I stared at her back.

Utter silence.

"...You don't plan on looking, do you?" 

"The right one will show up on her own," Was all she said. "Probably. Well, I'll take care of it even if she does." 

"The hell does that mean?" I furrowed my brow. "You're going to kill my soul mate?"

"A person can have multiple soul mates, Saki. You already have three, don't you think wanting another is just being greedy?"

"You, Riko-nee and Mio-nee don't count!" 

She glanced over her shoulder at me, clearly displeased. "You know, you've been getting quite rebellious lately, Saki. Is Nee-sama going to need to use the dumbell of love on you?"

"Don't resort to violence every time you encounter something you don't like," I frowned. "Violent women aren't popular, you know."

She stopped once more. "That doesn't apply to me, I'm too pretty." She smirked.  " You just have dog eyes, not appreciating your beautiful Nee-sama as you should. Talking about wives, about freedom." clicked her tongue. "Such luxuries are earned, Saki. You're still too weak, too naive. You can't survive out in the cold, merciless world without us. Wait until you grow big and strong like your Nee-sama here, then you'll have the clout to negotiate with me."

I...I had no words. I simply caught up to her, picked her up under the shoulders, and put her at eye level with me. "You were saying?" I was immediately kneed in the gut. I only scoffed. "What was that, a tickle?"

"Hm. It's hard." 

"Mandatory nightly planks will do that to a person."

"Could be harder. Let's increase it to six minutes from now on."

"What--" 

"Enough talk, it's time for work!" She bulldozed me. "Onwards, Saki!" She commanded, wiggling herself out of my hold and climbing atop my shoulders faster than I could blink. Like a general readying to battle the enemy, she exclaimed, "To victory!"

Her toned thighs squeezed tightly, hips rocking at the back of my neck to urge me forward. "I'm not a horse, dammit."

"Just move, daylight's wasting." Another squeeze. "And no enjoying my thighs. This is supposed to be a punishment for your traitorous tongue, got it?"

Sometimes Suzu-nee says unnecessarily creepy things. But I didn't bother to point it out and we soon found ourselves at the door to the workout room. I heard a few unfamiliar voices inside. "Careful," I warned Suzu-nee, not wanting her to hit her head

We found three women inside the room, One slightly older woman, an elderly regular, and one who looked around my age. She was, quite frankly, gorgeous. Her hair was certainly her most eye-catching feature at a glance, but her high cheekbones that led down to the delicate curve of her chin were also captivating.  

Her eyes, too. They were the same color as a sunset sky and equally as mesmerizing. A person could get lost in them.

But what really caught me off guard was something else: Those definitely weren't the proportions of a child.

The heck? I thought she would be much younger. "Didn't you say there was a kid here? That doesn't look like a child at all. She looks my age if not older," I whispered to Suzu-nee. But she was silent. I could feel her body going taut as she saw the young lady.

At our appearance the three inside turned their heads, then looked at us funny. I pressed the frozen Suzu-nee's thigh discreetly, causing her to hurriedly jump down from my shoulders. She seemed a touch awkward as she approached the women.

"...Ibuki-san..." She greeted politely. "Hey."

One of the women, a youthful beauty with chocolate-brown hair and a kind face, returned the greeting enthusiastically. "Suzu-san, hey! Sorry, I got here a bit late. I had a little trouble finding the place. Thankfully we met Amane-san here along the way."

"Oh, yes...its fine, don't worry. By the way, this is....?" Suzu-nee gave a strained smile and glanced at the blue-haired girl.

"Ah, that's right. This is my daughter, Nao. She's been snacking a bit too much lately and started putting on some weight, so I figured this would be good for her.  I told you she was coming, didn't I?"

"Well, yes, yes you did. But I thought she was going to be...younger." Suzu-nee finished stiffly

The other woman tilted her head in confusion, then realized. "Hm...? Oh, oh of course. You've only seen those old pictures, haven't you? Sorry,  that was my fault. But no, she's a bit older than that now," She laughed. That is, until she saw how odd Suzu-nee's face was. "That's not going to be a problem, is it?" She asked in concern. "Suzu-san? Hello?"

Suzu-nee broke from her momentary stupor. "What? No, no, that..." She cleared her throat. "I mean, not at all. Uh, why don't we get started? Saki!"She called out. "You take care of these two while I tend to...um..."

"Nao," The girl spoke up, her tone showing clear disinterest. She wasn't even paying much attention, just looking out the window towards the pond outside.

"Yes, Mao." At least have the decency to remember her name right...

"And this gentleman is...?" Ibuki-san raised a brow at me, looking up and down appraisingly.  

"That's Misaki, my little brother. He helps me here sometimes. I trained him myself, so you'll be in good hands. Ignore the helmet...he's having a bad hair day."

The newcomer's eyes lit up. "Well, you must've trained him very well. Look at those muscles." She approached dauntlessly, seemingly unable to help feeling up my arm. "And his fingers seem so strong and...." Did she lick her lips just then? That wasn't just my imagination, right? "...rough. Oh yes, I think I'll be in very good hands indeed."  Her smile was brilliantly predatory.  

"Mom? What are you doing?" The daughter was scowling something fierce.

Ibuki-san took a step closer, close enough to where I could feel two soft peaks pressing against my chest. 

"What was that, honey? I didn't hear." A bubbly laughter.

I shifted my gaze to Suzu-nee. Even through the mask, I'm sure my question was clear.  How many nieces and nephews would you like, dearest sister?

Don't you dare, she wordlessly screamed back via a glare.

"He's 17!" Suzu-nee emphasized.  

"Is he?" The beauty wasn't ruffled by this revelation in the slightest. "His birthday must be coming up soon, I suppose?" 

"Nope," Suzu-nee replied succinctly. "On second thought, let me take you on. You should learn from the most experienced, after all."

"Oh no, that's quite alr--" 

"Let's start with some stretches, shall we? Aaaaall the way over there in that corner." She started dragging the woman off. "Saki, how about you get her loosened up too? Then start with something light, maybe some lunges.  Come along, Amane-san."

With that, we each took different sides of the room. I examined Nao for a bit. Surprisingly, she did the same. In a similar manner to her mother, she cocked a brow.

"What's with the rabbit head?" 

I shrugged, candidly responding, "It's just so you don't fall in lust with me."

She snorted. "Wow, a single sentence and you're already the most arrogant guy I've ever met."

"I wouldn't call it arrogance at all given how close I was to becoming your step-father just now."