My Best Friend Begged Me To Steal His Heroines

"Kaname!" Several boisterous voices intoned. 

it was the end of school when they arrive. Like clockwork, as sure as the sun would rise, they came for him. 

The Heroines of Sakurazaka. Such was the title bestowed upon the three beauties who had appeared at the classroom's entrance. Like fairies descending from the heavens, the three young ladies sauntered across the floor, the scent of honey, vanilla and peaches spreading throughout the room in their wake. 

At their presence, the atmosphere changed. Going quiet, but at the same time being filled with an unmistakable tension. To the poor students, perhaps images of roaring lions and dragons accompanied the women. As gorgeous as they were, enough to stir the hearts of both genders, they were equally as intimidating. Even the teacher, upon seeing them, shivered lightly and quietly took his leave, clearly not at all wanting to be a part of the coming storm. 

But no one felt that fierce aura as much as the man locked in their sights: Kurokawa Kaname.

Tall, blonde-haired and athletic, he was a man blessed with good looks and a kind demeanor that attracted many...unfortunately, that was not welcomed. Why?

Well....

"Come, Kaname. My grandparents have reserved us seats at the theater." The eldest Heroine, Takemoto Nanase, quickly approached and grabbed his arm to drag him off before he could get out a word. 

She was a third-year student, a senpai amongst senpais who was looked up to with feverish idolization by her underclassmen. An angelic halo ringed the top of her head as those long dark locks of hair--falling just past a perfectly rounded bottom--shone beneath the artificial light.

"Uh, thanks, but--" Kaname tried to politely decline. Just then,

"Hold it right there, Takemoto!" The youngest beauty, a bit shorter the other two, cut in. Her hair was gold, just a shade purer than Kaname's and hanging down to the small of her back. Doe-like eyes stared at Takemoto with a fierceness. 

The girl grabbed Kaname's other arm. "Kaname-senpai is going to come with me to a tennis match. He has no time to be frolicking around with you." She pulled.

Kaname's face was a mask. The only indication of emotion was a slight twitch of his brow. "No, for the last time, I don't like--" 

"Hm?" The third, and second-eldest, beauty put a finger to her bottom lip and tilted her head. "But Kaname-san is going to be busy trying out the new crepe shop with me....right?" She stepped forward with a sudden smile and took hold of his necktie. A wicked smirk adorned her elegant face. Her hair, the shortest of the three, hung just above her shoulders, turquoise blue locks framing a pair of ruby-like eyes.

 "H-Hold up, don't pull so hard...I just recovered from last time!" Fear colored his voice. " Please, I just want to go home and--"

Yet again, his words were overrun.

"Fukuhara, Ibuki, you two are trying my patience," Nanase's brows furrowed dangerously. "Are you provoking me?"  

Fukuhara Matsuko and Ibuki Nao, the first and second-year girls respectively, laughed. Matsuko pulled harder, making Kaname wince. "What about you, Takemoto? Are you not the one attempting to steal the belongings of others, hm?"

"No, no, Matsuko-chan," Nao chided with a click of her tongue. "That's my line. Since when did Kaname-san become yours? You two are speaking quite arrogantly for a brat and old hag."

They responded as one, teeth gnashing. .

"H-Hag?!" 

"Brat?" 

They erupted. But Nao ignored them, her eyes never shifting from Kaname. Her smirk only widened as she pulled down on his tie, bringing his head down closer to her own. He looked uncomfortable as if he was being strangled.

"After all, It's obvious I'm Kaname-san's favorite. Right, Kaname-san? Isn't that what you said that time?" 

A vein could be seen pulsating at the corner of his forehead. Even so, he still tried to remain civil. "I don't recall ever--"

As expected, Nanase and Matsuko were incensed upon hearing Nao's words and, to no one's surprise, loudly cut off his words.

 "As if an ugly harlot like you could be his favorite!" A perfect sync. They looked at each other, clearly irritated. "Stop copying me!" They roared. "No, you!"

After a few more like exchanges, Nanase grew sick of it and forcibly tore the boy from the others' grasps. She started marching off with a tired-looking Kaname grasped firmly in hand. "Let's go, Kaname!"

"I told you, he's coming with me!" Matsuko retook his arm and stopped them. 

Kaname finally spoke up. "Hey, that--"

"--You're hurting him!" Nao snarled, grabbing his tie once more and pulling hard. His voice was abruptly cut off

"Idiot girl, he's choking!" Nanase reprimanded harshly. "Both of you, let him go this instant!"

"You first!" They replied. A fierce struggle ensued. The other students were sympathetic but were too scared to step in. 

Kaname's face was painted with agony. Every word was ground out in desperation. "Guys, stop, you're going to..." 

This time, what cut off his words were nothing else but his own chocked, guttural scream,

***

Three days later. 

"I can't stand it anymore, Saki. I just can't do this anymore," Kana moaned miserably.  "Those girls just won't leave me alone. They're demons, I'm telling you...demons!" He broke off into a sob. 

Nodding sympathetically, I looked up from the book I had been reading and noticed the ice packs at his shoulders had melted. Wordlessly, I left the room and came back with replacements before leaning back into the chair at his bedside and continuing to flip through the story. 

"I told you that you were being too nice, didn't I?" I reminded. "This is your fault. Of course they'd misunderstand if you act like that, you know." 

Kaname's face, often so bright and happy-go-lucky, was filled with naught but indignation. "What's wrong with being nice?!" He asked angrily, only to cough as his tender throat was aggravated. I pulled a straw from my bag, placed it in the glass of water on his bedside table, and held it near his lips.

He drank slowly, careful not to choke. "Thanks." 

"Hm." I went on. "Anyway, girls like nice guys. Especially if they look like you." I looked over his current appearance. Dishelved hair, bags under his eyes, pale, bedridden. "Well, maybe not the you of right now. But yeah."

Men like Kaname, who was good-looking and kind, sociable and bright, were bound to attract attention from girls. Most of his troubles come from that fact, actually. Ever since he was young, his kindness and charm had invited disaster. 

As if sensing my thoughts, Kana's eyes dimmed. He sighed, sinking into himself. "I don't even know what to do anymore, Saki. Whatever I say, they just ignore it. Even at home I can barely get any rest because mom or Toshi just lets them in. Then I get scalding-hot congee on my chest."

I shook my head helplessly. "They mean well, at least."

The youth bit his lip, repressing another sob. "Dammit, Saki. Being popular sucks. Its not worth it at all! I hate it! I hate it to death, dang it! School, home, work...everywhere I go, they're there." This time a tear did drop. "How the hell do you deal with it?"

I stared at him blankly. "Deal with what?"

"All of it!" He bit back. "Doesn't it get to you? It has to, right?"

"All of...what?" I asked strangely. What the heck was he talking about? Had he injured his head, too?

"Oh come off it, Saki. You know what I mean, don't pretend." His tone was getting fed up. 

"Ah..." I realized. "It's not that troublesome, actually."

"Really?" The boy asked back doubtfully. "It doesn't bother you?" He looked at me as if I were some strange creature.

"No, I mean...well, I'm used to it." I shrugged. "Taking care of you when this kind of thing happens is just another Tuesday to me at this point. I really don't mind it."

His expression morphed. "Huh? No....what? I didn't mean that. Wait, no, I'm sorry about that too...but I meant, how is it do you deal with girls at your school?"

"I'm not sure what you mean. I've never had any problems from them. Why would I?" 

I was stared at by him silently for several long moments after that.

"...Say, Saki," He called out suddenly. " Can you look to your right for me real quick?"  

Raising a brow at the odd request, I did as he wanted. I found a tall mirror that stood near the wall. It was facing our way.

"There. What do you see?"

I frowned. "Us?" 

"Yes, and? Notice anything about us? Rather, you? "

I was lost. Yes, I saw myself. Obviously. But so? 

"Are you trying to say something is off about me? I think I look normal."

The boy exploded. "Normal?!" He croaked. "Saki, you're even flashier than me, you idiot! Look at that hair! That cold, frosty platinum! And what's with those glasses? You don't even need them, aren't they just for fashion? That thing on your ear, too! What is that, a pendant? A charm? And why the heck are your nails grey? Plus, don't those rings and necklaces seem really expensive? Dammit, no matter how I look at it, you're way too damn flashy!"

I shifted in my seat. "I don't wear the accessories at school."

"Even without them, you're flamboyant as hell!" Kana countered. "What are you, a K-pop idol? Do you nightlight as an underwear model? And you have the nerve to sit there and act like you don't know my suffering. Shit. Why aren't you the one getting your arms dislocated, hm?"

I cleared my throat in embarrassment. "Its not my fault....my sisters do whatever they want with me. Its not like I chose to look like this." 

I have three older sisters. One, the youngest, is a fashion designer and had loved to dress me up ever since we were young. The second eldest is a hairstylist and would experiment on me at every opportunity. The third, my oldest sister...well, she isn't in the fashion industry like the other two. Worse, she's a personal trainer. Would've loved it if she became a baker instead. As it is, I'm not allowed many sweets or fatty food at home. Leg day has been my only constant companion and I hate him. 

"Honestly, this is so unfair. What's your secret, you bastard?" 

How rude, this asshole.

"I mean you're the weird one, Kana, letting yourself get caught up in these situations to begin with. Learn how to set your foot down and stop whining."

His body radiated injustice. "Oh, yeah, great advice there, pal." He replied with a voice absolutely dripping with sarcasm. "You wouldn't understand. You only heard stories, you don't know how scary those demonesses are in person."

"True, but I still blame you for being spineless. Haven't you noticed yet that you're a pushover?"

"That hurts, Saki. That really hurts." But he couldn't refute it. And he really couldn't, because Kana is the kind of person who regularly brings--rather, gives into pressure--girls home. There's always a new one every few months, sometimes weeks. Mr. and Mrs. Kurokawa have long since grown tired of it. There were even a few cases of stalking.

I remember a time he'd even nearly been assaulted by some office lady he met on the street whom he offered his umbrella to on a rainy day. She had started following him around and once caught him near a convenience. Luckily there was a police officer passing by. 

Not even a month later, the same exact thing happened with some other woman he offered kind words to after a breakup. 

"See? You're the odd one between us." I gave a lighthearted chuckle. "But hey, look on the bright side. Haven't you actually been bothered less by other women since the three of them started clinging to you?"

"But at what cost, Saki? Look at me! Last time, I got two fractured ribs because of them. The time before that, I needed my stomach pumped because they kept shoving food into my mouth. Before that, they took me to the beach and I almost drowned!" As he rattled about their long list of crimes against his body, his eyes started to take on a crazed look.

"Oh yeah, didn't you get your hand burned that same day?"

"Yes!" He barked furiously, then started coughing again. I once more held out the water for him.

I gave a reluctant smile. "Okay, so they might be a little rougher than most--"

"A little?" He cut in. "I nearly die every time I see them!"

"--but at least they're loyal."

"Loyal." He spat the word like a curse. "I don't need loyalty, I need someone to take those crazy demons of misfortune out of my hands! I swear, this time, I'm done. I'm going to stay in my room forever. Where I'm safe and can play games and eat fried chicken in peace."

"Fried chicken..." My mouth watered. My dearest... 

I sighed longingly. But I knew our love was not meant to be. That thick, savory crust and warm, tender flesh dripping with the most succulent of juices...

Ours could only ever be a relationship of rare, occasional dalliances. Our affections for one another only allowed to blossom once or perhaps twice a year before being torn apart once again by that tyrant.

I swear, Suzu-nee is too cruel. 

I shook myself of the wayward thoughts. "Anyway, I wish you luck on finding someone to pawn them off on. May the Force be with you, or something. You'll need it." 

"More than that. I'd need a goddamn miracle at this point. Divine intervention."

"Ah, right. They rejected every other boy at your school already, haven't they? If you're the one they decided to latch onto, they've got high standards. It'll be pretty hard to find someone else like you, much less one actually willing to help."

Kana groaned. He stared off into space for a while, eyes wandering across the room as a natural lull in the conversation came about. Meanwhile, I returned to my book. 

"Like me, huh," He muttered after a good while. "...Hm?" 

I suddenly felt his gaze on me. I turned and caught him facing me with an almost manic fervor. A slow smile broke out across his mouth.

"Ugh. Stop that, it's creepy," I pushed up my glasses, feeling my brows furrow in displeasure at the strange look he was giving.

Then, he started laughing. Low, disturbing laughter. "Mi~sa~ki~" He sang eerily. "My precious, most thoughtful friend. My good, kind, oh-so-handsome best-est buddy."

"Uh-uh," I immediately shook my head. "I know what you're thinking. No."

"Fuck you!" He lost it, going feral and forgetting all semblance of humanity. "Traitor, scum! You won't even help out your best friend, you're inhuman! I'm gonna die, die, you hear me!? All because you can't even do me one small little favor! I hate you, go die! Goddamn pretty boy, die, die, die!!" He shouted venomously. Then became overwhelmed by yet another fit of coughs.

Once more, I held out the glass. "Are you done?"

Kana licked his lips. Paused. Took a breath."Selfish, greedy, spiteful bastard! Why can't you just do this for me, huh? Is it so hard to help out your friend? Is it? Even a dog has more loyalty than you, you traitor! Do your sisters know what kind of evil, malicious, unfeeling bastard you've become? Lower than trash. Lower than a maggot. Utterly without morals and basic human decency. Seriously, die." Another pause. "Okay, now I'm done."

"Good. I'm going, get some good sleep." I rose and made way for the door.

"No, Saki, please!" He begged. I ignored it, then heard a thud. He had forced his weary body off the bed and started to crawl desperately across the floor with only his legs to push him forward. "I really just can't do this anymore, man! Those women are the worst, the absolute worst! T-They're really going to be the death of me. I can't deal with them at all. Saki, please! Please, please, please, please!" He somehow managed to get to my feet, looking up with tears pouring down his cheeks.

I looked down at him, troubled. "Even if you beg like that, I wouldn't know the first thing about how to go about what you want me to do ...I mean, what kind of guy do you take me for to even think I could?"

"A playboy?" 

I felt a vein pop in my head. "Since when did I ever give that impression?!"

"Since always?" He said, unsure. "You look like one."

"I told you, that's not my fault! Those two just...ah, forget it. Look, even if I wanted to help--which I don't, because I'm no masochist--I told you. I wouldn't know how. Hell, I've never even had a girlfriend!"

"Liar!" He hissed back. "How does a person as flamboyant as you go all this time without having one, huh?!"

"My sisters said I'm too young to be dating," I replied, a touch defensively. "They barely let me out of the house to go to school or come here, and only if one of them takes me," I said, recalling how Riko-nee drove me here despite it being only a fifteen or twenty-minute walk from our house to here, which they all know I could easily have run. "How would I have the opportunity to take a girl out on a date?"

...Well all that wasn't a lie. I really hadn't ever gone on a "date" with a girl before. Although if you counted the teacher's assistant from my first year of highschool...or the school nurse...or Suzu-nee's friend from work...

No, no, no. Those three definitely couldn't count. In the first place, the first two were just abusing their power, surely. Thankfully nothing too outrageous happened with them, and I wasn't one to let myself be taken advantage of. So yeah. I'm still pretty innocent. 

Other than them, I don't have experience with girls. At the most, I found some letters in my locker or cookies in my desk. I returned them all, of course, and rejected the senders of any letters properly. At this point, I was terrified of doing anything more or less.

Once, I made the mistake of allowing one of the girls to kiss my cheek. It was a last request because she was going to be moving out of town the next week, so I let it happen. Big mistake. 

Suzu-nee, Riko-nee and Mio-nee had caught the faintest imprint of lipstick on me when I got home and had me kneeling on a washboard for half an hour, reciting a long speech about the dangers of premarital relations and casual sex and their negatives effect on pair bonding. 

"Can't you at least try?" 

"Please don't ask for the impossible. It sounds too annoying."

"What the hell do you mean, impossible?!" He ground out hatefully. "It's just charming a couple of girls! How hard can it be? I didn't do anything at all and they still started clinging to me, it should be way easier for you, you flashy K-pop-looking bastard"

"Wow, they really ground you down to nothing, huh....you never used to have such a foul mouth." Again, he was seen as the kind princely type. Now, though, he was sounding like some scoundrel.

"Exactly, see? This is what those demonic bitches did to me! And you, you're just going to keep letting it happen!" 

I rubbed the back of my head, feeling a migraine coming on because of all his shouting. "Look--"

"No! No more of that! Everyone has their price, Saki, even you!" His eyes took on that wildness once more.  "And I know yours. Oh yes, I know it well. The one thing you crave beyond all....your deepest, darkest desire..."

His next words caught me entirely off-guard. I felt a tingle at the base of my tongue, swallowing back a sudden rise of saliva. His promises were sweet as honey, tempting me towards sin. 

"What you said just now..." I began after hearing his proposal. "Can you take responsibility for it? Don't play with me on this, Kana." The light of hope seemed to be rekindled in that friend of mine at this.

"Don't worry, Saki-Saki. You can put your faith in me." He smiled brightly. "I trust I can put the same into you?"

I hesitated. But seductive thoughts of Fried Chicken-san splayed out naked before me, begging me to taste her, clouded my mind. 

"Okay.... but all I promise to do is try," I warned.

"That's all I ask, my friend." He replied smoothly, easing my concerns. 

I nodded stiffly, still not quite sure I knew what I was getting myself into. But my growling stomach, eager for the paradise that awaits it, was the only comfort I had. With that I turned on my heel and walked out the door, clicking it shut behind me.

After a couple of moments, I heard Kana yelling. "Uh, Saki, you forgot about me!...Hey, seriously, help me up! Hello? Saki?"

But I was actually rather irritated by his outburst from before, so I ignored him. Besides, who the hell is he to keep calling the legitimacy of my childbirth into question?