My autobiography is definitely not a tragedy!

On March 22, 2018, the US government officially signed a memorandum on trade with Huaxia, announcing that "due to intellectual property rights infringement issues, tariffs might be imposed on $60 billion worth of imports from Country Hua, alongside investment restrictions.".

On March 23, the Country Hua Ministry of Commerce issued tit-for-tat countermeasures, proposing tariffs on certain imports from the US, intensifying the risk of a trade war.

Domestically, everything appeared normal, except that taxi drivers, as always, were highly insightful in their analysis of today's hot headline's direction, consequences, and impact, while most citizens just went about their usual business.

Talking about projects, discussing financing, and enjoying light songs and dances with coffee at Shichahai.

The term "trade war" had still merely remained at the stage of a potential risk.

However, the economy is the funhouse mirror of politics. Panic almost instantly spread first to the stock market without delay.

On March 23, global stock markets opened generally lower.

By the close, the Dow Jones Index fell by nearly 3%, the Shanghai Composite Index by 3.27%, the Hang Seng Index by 2.81%, the Nikkei Index by more than 3%, and Korean stocks by more than 2%…

"What happened? Why is everything suddenly green before my eyes?"

"Sudden onset of green-source color blindness, a condition treatable only by emptying holdings, could lead to symptoms including crying and wailing, beating one's chest and stomping one's feet, vomiting blood in large amounts, fainting on the spot, and in severe cases, even sudden death from jumping off buildings."

"Where's the scout? Go find out!"

"Village net informed! Didn't you know Donald fired at Country Hua?"

"$60 billion? Has the US gone mad? Don't they know killing a thousand enemies costs us eight hundred?"

"Whether it's mad or not I don't know, but I'm going mad. I just entered with 10 million yesterday..."

"Hehe! Not even the gods can save you now, I told you!"

"Woke up early to eat bugs, caught completely off guard! Hurriedly checked my stock holdings, thankfully, thankfully, it's still full, boo-hoo-hoo~"

"Stay calm, stay calm, this is just routine eye medicine between major countries, they will definitely pick it up high and set it down gently. Everyone, quickly buy in!"

"Trying to trick me into taking over again..."

"I had a premonition back in January when Donald started the anti-dumping investigation, sure enough, I figured as much! Please pay attention to my next great prediction!"

"It's over, it's over, the two countries are mowing the lawn cooperatively, stuck holding the bag, please spare me!"

"Wasn't this year's stock market supposed to be capitalist welfare?"

"Don't you know, the stock market isn't really for handing out welfare, it's mainly for adjusting the population…"."

"Cherish life and stay away from the stock market, Amen~"

""

The stock market exploded, and the jesters began to add fuel to the fire.

But they could afford to joke because the subsequent developments between the two countries were still unclear.

Following the usual practices of big bullies sparring with each other, scenarios of openly cursing at one moment and being chummy the next were not uncommon.

It was merely the same old routine of asking exorbitant prices and then settling for less in the end.

With frequent wolf cries, little faith was left in them.

However, many well-informed and keen-nosed business magnates had already sensed the smell of gunpowder and began to prepare intensely either to minimize losses…or to make a huge profit!

""

"On March 23, the US side announced that it will impose large-scale tariffs on imports from Country Hua, and restrict its corporations from investing and merging with companies in the US."

In response, the government of Country Hua hoped to avoid a trade war; if the US government insisted on proceeding, we would not be afraid or evade; we would accompany them to the end, hoping the US would rein in on the brink…"

Hearing the news broadcast on TV, Meng Lang looked strangely as he pulled out his phone to check the latest stock price of Huaxia Energy...

8.82 RMB per share, hitting the limit down!

He couldn't help but sigh deeply. This was a big deal!

I knew there would be a stock market disaster, but I never imagined it would be caused by a clash between two major nations that stirred up turmoil worldwide!

Even though those experts had leapt out, swearing that the likelihood of a trade war occurring between the two nations was extremely low, and were optimistic about the future economic outlook,

Meng Lang's analysis from his own earnings curve hinted that this fight might grow bigger and bigger…

"A speck of dust from the times, when it falls on an individual, becomes a mountain..."

It seemed he could already see a small mountain of RMB waving at him; feeling elated, Meng Lang ate an extra tea egg for breakfast.

After breakfast, Meng Lang strode to the supermarket with a light step, humming the tune "Today I Got Money."

Induction cookers, pots and pans, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar…

Rice, red beans, flour, eight-treasure porridge, century eggs, lean meat, eggs, noodle soup, carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes…

Following the "Health Regimen Shopping List" he had busily prepared the night before, Meng Lang began a sweeping raid with a shopping cart.

In the end, he even indulged in buying two pounds of large shrimp and a grouper.

Kidding! A trade war had already started, and the economic situation was so severe—was he still supposed to pinch pennies on vegetables?

"Hello, your total is 3650. Do you have a membership card?"

"No."

"Members get a 10% discount. Would you like to sign up for a membership card?"

"Yes!"

…

"Phew~"

Meng Lang returned to his rental, panting as he put down the hefty shopping bags in his hands.

"Phew~ It seems I really need to exercise..."

Sitting on the sofa to catch his breath, Meng Lang then took out his phone, opened Xiao Hong Shu, and began his first ever "do-it-yourself cooking" session beyond his college dormitory mini hot pot...

"Mince the lean meat, century eggs, and scallions; mix the lean meat with a small amount of starch.

Wash the rice, put it into a clay pot, add an appropriate amount of water, bring it to a boil on high heat, then simmer on low heat for 40 minutes to make porridge.

Add the lean meat, add the century eggs, and mix evenly.

Add an appropriate amount of salt and some chopped green onions, drizzle with sesame oil, and serve…"

He followed the tutorial video, chopping and washing rice a bit clumsily.

More than half an hour later…

Looking at the pot of unidentifiable black mush in front of him, Meng Lang fell into deep contemplation about life…

What happened to the "entry-level," "just need hands" kind of simple recipe?

Small amount? Appropriate amount? A few?

Who knows exactly how much that is? Can't there be some more precise decimal quantifications?

It must be the video I chose that's the problem!

Yet another half-hour later...

Looking at another indistinguishably smelly mush of mystery, Meng Lang finally started to doubt himself.

But he did not give up; thinking perhaps he had chosen the wrong dish, he decided to switch to an even simpler scrambled eggs with tomatoes.

Another half-hour…

Meng Lang lay limply on the sofa, his eyes blankly staring at the ceiling.

Some people are just not meant to be in the kitchen. With the same procedures and the same ingredients, he could turn delicious ingredients into a culinary disaster.

No matter how many vibrant colors you gave him, what he stir-fried was always a matte black mess…

The first step of his Health Regimen Plan faced an unprecedented and severe challenge!

…

"Crunch!" Biting into a cucumber, Meng Lang reluctantly gave up the hope of "fending for himself" for the time being.

He took out Living because it was time for the daily update.

"Uh…"

The half piece of cucumber in Meng Lang's hand dropped to the floor.

Because he was shocked to discover that the book he had opened… was completely blank!