61. My Beloved Son
I had a lot of worries about my relationship with my son, Ryker.
The relationship became strained and complicated.
After much thought, the conclusion I came to was that this cannot continue.
The relationship between my son and me is one that cannot be accepted in the world.
If it becomes known in any way, it will inevitably become news because of the name Evadne. Even my daughters, the closest ones, Lyricia or Amara, find out that the whole family will be deeply hurt.
Rye's soul is too weak to overcome such pain.
So I had to stop right now. If things continued like this, it was as obvious as seeing fire that we would all face destruction in the end.
When my junior actress Jar Calista asked for my advice, I thought it was a good opportunity.
She was a girl with a shining youth that I don't have.
When I first worked with her on a project, I saw and felt her personality and history, and there was nothing missing in any part of her. As a mother, she was a child whom I would lovd to have as my son's future partner if I could.
So, we decided to secretly arrange a meeting. Rye may be angry for not telling him, but once he meets Cali, his feelings will change. Jar Calista is one of the most beautiful women in the county.
As expected, Rye was embarrassed and a bit angry, but he quickly adapted to his position. Even though he was meeting for the first time, Rye somehow had a normal conversation with Cali and shook hands with her.
Seeing Rye like that made my heart tingle for some reason.
This meant that Rye's illness had improved. It was definitely something to be happy about, but I also felt somewhat sad as I watched Rye gradually break away from my arms.
I guess this is what a good man and a good woman are like. Objectively, the two got along very well.
Rye, who is still young and has not achieved anything, may seem lacking, but I thought that if Rye can make up for the unique shortcomings of a young actress, Cali, then they are a potential couple.
I was planning to bridge the gap between the two with an appropriate story and get me out of the way from Rye. As originally planned, the two easily became closer, and Cali, in particular, seemed to be clinging to Rye, wondering what she had discovered.
Okay. As originally planned...
But why does my heart become heavier as time goes by?
I couldn't be happy when my son left his mothet's nest.
To be honest, Rye hoped to remain in my arms forever. I also hoped that, he would remain as a poor son who could not do anything on his own without me.
But that's just my selfishness. If I really cared for my son, I should have let him go. I had to support Rye, who was flapping his wings on his own in order to fly on his own.
But I couldn't do that.
"I can go alone, I shouldn't meddle with young people relationship."
The reason those words suddenly came out was because I couldn't bear to see another woman in Rye's arms.
I knew that such behavior would cause trouble for Rye, and I knew that Rye would come after me because he prioritizes his mother over Calista.
It was a cowardly act. I had prepared for Rye to distance himself from Cali, and in the end, I couldn't stand watching the two of them become closer.
In the end, Rye left Cali and followed me. A small sense of superiority spread within my heart.
"My son, your still looking for you mom, it's a big problem. Thank you for thinking of me, but aren't you old enough to be independent from me now?"
When I hinted at my refusal, Rye showed a rebellious attitude for the first time.
Each and every one of Rye's actions filled my heart with sorrow and happiness.
Rye. I also don't want to let him go. Why is the fruit of sin so sweet?
Rye hugged me and laid down on the bed. Rye's eyes were shining sharply as he looked down at me.
What is Rye thinking? My mind was a mess, a mixture of my fears, expectations, and worries.
"Rye. You can't do this... … ."
A verbal refusal. But if Rye asked me again, would I really be able to refuse?
During the short time, I was face to face with Rye, numerous thoughts passed through my mind.
"Mom. I love you."
This honest, unadorned confession touches my heart.
I want to hug Rye right now. I wanted to whisper to her that his mother felt the same way and that his mother also loved him.
But I was the one who decided to distance myself from Rye. I did this for the sake of future generations, to protect the family, and to protect Rye, who might not be able to bear the harsh reality of internet bullying. My daughters, if they found out, I wouldn't be able to show them my face.
So, I made the choice I had to make as a mother.
Rye left quietly. He went to get Cali, whom I had forgotten for a while.
I was the one who introduced Rye to Cali. I was the one who brought the two closer.
But I regretted it later.
Jar Calista. A girl with youth and beauty that I don't have.
The difference between Calista, who is enjoying her most shining days as a woman, and me, who is in her twilight years as a woman, only widens as time passes.
The gap will never be narrowed. Perhaps once Rye is taken away from me, I will never be able to find him again, my spot in his heart might replace.
The moment Cali would create her spot in my son's heart, my story was already over.
I don't want to let go... ….
My beloved son. My beloved man.