38. My Problem
"Rye, Anything is okay, so talk about it. If you have problem, just talking to someone can help you."
Dr. Sora's eyes were serious as she stared at me beneath her glasses.
I felt better as I decided to tell her.
"Dr. Sora, actually… I have a problem."
"Okay. What kind of problem is this?"
"Well, it's a bit hard to say, but It's a sexual problem."
"Sexual problem. It's a natural thing at this age. You don't have to be so shy."
It may be true that every young man might have some sort of problem, but I'm different.
"But I'm a little different. I love my family, I... see them as... sexual objects."
"Oh? Okay, in your family... which one you saw as sexually? Your mother, older sister or younger sister?"
"All three, everyone."
I lowered my head as I spoke.
I said it. I can't turn back now.
Will Dr. Sora despise me, too? It's a beast that gets heated against the family that raised it.
"I understand what your trying to say and worried about. You see your family not just as family but also as woman right? See them as woman with sexual desires and worried that your abnormal and beast right?"
"Yes, that's right."
After speaking, I later regretted it.
I was so embarrassed that I couldn't raise my face.
"Rye, there is no need to worry so seriously, raise your head and look at me."
Dr. Sora's voice was kind, and I carefully raised my head and made eye contact with her.
"It's natural for people to have feelings for someone. It's natural for sexual desire to follow."
"Dr. Sora, but…"
"And it's not that uncommon have sexual desires towards in the family members, it's depends on person but if woman and man ideal person appear in their own family, they might see them as sexually."
"… …."
Is it really like that?
You're not lying to me, Dr. Sora? I won't say ideal, but my mother, older sister, and Lye were the only women in my life... So it's because of that I feel sexual since I have no one else?
"And Rye, you think you made a big mistake, but in fact you didn't. As long as you don't force others, you didn't do anything bad, right?"
I shook my head.
"Then it's okay. It's just that incestuous marriage is prohibited, but loving in itself is not a sin. Strictly speaking, Rye is adopted, so it's not incestuous. It may be morally criticized, but no one can punish you. Our country law won't punish you since our country protect the right to love."
I'm not worried about that, but I'm more worried about how bad my family's reputation would get if others found out about my desire.
"Right to love?"
"Okay. Did you know that there was such a thing as 'adultery' in the past?"
Dr. Sora asked, stroking the ring on her left ring finger.
I shook my head.
"Adultery is when a person with a spouse has sexual intercourse with another person of the opposite sex. It has the same meaning as cheating. Until a few years ago, this was considered adultery, a crime punishable by law. But this law was repealed. Why was it abolished?"
"Why was it abolished?"
"It's because it violates people's right to love. So, even if I has an affair with a man who is not my husband, I will not be punished by law, because it's my freedom."
Dr. Sora took off the wedding ring she was wearing and placed it on the desk.
That action somehow seemed very meaningful.
"In this case, there is a clear victim. If I cheat, my husband will be the victim, and the law won't punish me because I have the freedom to choose someone else if I don't find my husband worthy.'
It was like that. If she cheats, her husband would be a victim, but it's not a crime, so even if he is a victim, there won't be any justice.
Isn't this fucked up? But considering that man also has this freedom then it's fair. That's why my mother divorced my stepdad because of his affair, and now my stepdad was living the good life with no consequences.
Although property division and custody were obtained, the stepfather did not receive any punishment. He continues to do what he is doing.
"Then what about love between family members? If families love each other, who is the victim?"
Dr. Sora asked a question with serious eyes.
I racked my brain, but no answer came to mind.
"The victim… There isn't one, right?"
Dr. Sora smiled at my answer as if it was the correct answer.