Maybe a Fake Gintama

"Let's change our mindset, Hasegawa-san," said Kawaki, sitting on a bench eating grilled fish, "It's better not to have any accidents with these idiots around. It's better without any guests, isn't it? Luckily, these guys are tough, so leaving them alone is okay. Let's just take the day off today and relax."

"Yeah, you're right." Moved by Kawaki's words, Hasegawa adjusted his sunglasses on his nose and sighed lightly. Then, he stood up, raised his beer mug, and clinked it with Kawaki's beer mug. "Even serialized novels have summer breaks! It's okay for us to take a break too!"

"Exactly! After all, this novel is just something those who don't want to watch the Olympic Games live and only care about the number of gold medals read casually!" Kawaki replied. "And we don't have many readers anyway! Even if we take a break, it won't be noticed!"

"Oh no! Thinking like this suddenly gets me all excited!" Hasegawa exclaimed, feeling exhilarated. "Can I go all out? Can I swim butterfly naked in the pool?!"

"Can I make a pool of strawberry milk?! Can I drown in strawberry milk?!"

"Yeah, sure, go ahead!" Hasegawa said, taking off his lifeguard uniform. "Because today, this place is..."

"...our paradise!" Kawaki, who had somehow brought a large can of strawberry milk and was pouring it into the pool, and Hasegawa, who had taken off his beach pants and was posing for a dive with one hand covering the mosaic part, shouted excitedly at the same time.

However, just as Hasegawa was about to jump into the pool, there was a gunshot, and both Kawaki and Hasegawa were brought back to reality.

Ignoring the shattered strawberry milk bottle, Kawaki and Hasegawa turned their heads simultaneously after a moment of confusion.

"Hey—" Matsudaira, holding a gun and a cigarette in his mouth, looked at Kawaki and Hasegawa with a slightly impatient tone. "I've been calling you for a while, didn't you hear me? Kid... hand over your beach pants."

Kawaki's face was covered in cold sweat as he stared wide-eyed, his face twitching uncontrollably.

"Ugh, traveling with me suddenly said he wants to swim," Matsudaira gestured behind him with a hint of helplessness. "I told him going to the bar would be more fun, but... well, since we came in a hurry, we didn't bring any beach pants. But since this is a pool, they must have rentals or sales, right?"

With the gun aimed at Kawaki and Hasegawa again, Matsudaira continued, "If not, take off yours and give it to me within three seconds! One!"

Bang! The bullet hit the ground near Kawaki's feet, startling him.

"Don't be so rude, Hijikata," a young man wearing a headband walked over slowly. "No need to worry..."

Kawaki's eyes widened as he looked at the newcomer, his facial muscles twitching almost spasmodically. "Could it be...?!"

Removing his kimono and headband, leaving only a white pair of briefs, the man stood with one hand on his hip, speaking earnestly, "The Shogun family has always been fans of regular briefs for swimming!"

Kawaki and Hasegawa were in disbelief.

"Hey, is that okay?" Matsudaira, with his hands in his uniform pockets, casually reminded the man standing with hands on his hips, "Wearing swimming briefs will get you completely wet. It's different than Saturday night at 8 o'clock. General Bo-bu is revealing his identity."

"There's no other way," the earnest man replied. "The Shogun family has always been General Bo-bu of Solitude."

"It's... is that the problem?!" Kawaki and Hasegawa, covered in sweat, exchanged glances, their faces filled with black lines.

"I've always wanted to swim in a place like this," the man continued, looking at the people playing in the pool with a hint of longing. "It's also a great opportunity to experience how ordinary people spend hot summers. Besides, the person who promised to take me to Yoshiwara to experience the pool isn't there, but... I didn't expect to find him here. Maybe it's fate..."

"Why is that idiot here?!" Kawaki gritted his teeth, looking at the people playing in the pool, surrounded by the Bijes.

"Look at how much fun they're having," Matsudaira said, coming to the poolside where the disinfection pool was being supported on both sides, watching Kawaki and others who were forced to stand by the pool with their eyes closed and holding apples with no expression on their faces, shaking all over. Then, he said with a hint of longing, "I want to join them too..."

"What's fun about that? If that idiot didn't have a better physique, he would have died long ago! If it were an ordinary person, they would have been played to death already! What's so interesting about that? You wouldn't even last a minute!" Kawaki muttered frantically in his mind. "Why do you find that interesting? You wouldn't even last a minute!"

"Silver-san... what... what should we do?" Hasegawa's face twitched, covered in cold sweat, looking at Kawaki.

"We can't let this happen!" Kawaki's expression was solemn, his bloodshot eyes glaring. "We absolutely can't let this happen! If the General joins them, it's like throwing Matsudaira Katsura, who only holds a pair of sand hammers under full-fruit state, into a school of sharks!"

"I know! Silver-san! But... what should we do?!" Hasegawa's expression gradually turned to panic, even imagining scenes of his head being pecked by crows at a deserted riverside at dusk.

"It's useless to say that now!" Kawaki ripped off his lifeguard uniform, took a swimming ring, and entered the pool. "We can only find a way to follow these idiots and let the General have a good time! Help the General put on his swim cap and goggles, and don't let those guys find out!"

...

Standing in front of Kawaki and the others with a swimming ring, Kawaki said, "Um, could you guys stop for a moment? I have something to say."

"What's wrong, Aru? Do you want to join us in playing, Aru?" Kagura asked in confusion.

"Sure, you can, but the newbie has to hold three apples, "Kawaki, with numerous shurikens on his back and head, nodded.

"What kind of rule is that?! You can't even do it once! Who else here can withstand that kind of thing besides you?! Stop it! Stop the game that could kill ordinary people!" Kawaki protested vehemently, then pointed to the shore where Maomao had already put on his swim cap and goggles, "And also, it's not me; it's that guy over there, the one called Shoshou. He wants to play with you guys."

"We're fine with that," replied Amayo.

"Can't help it, let him join, Miss Amayo," Kondo, standing next to Amayo in the water, came up, a little helpless.

"He's charming," said Sarutobi, popping her head out of the water next to Kondo, slightly helpless. "He's like a clumsy kid who doesn't know how to fit in with his friends~"

"Come over here, Shoshou!" Toad, who emerged from the water, shouted at Maomao's direction. "Come here, Shoshou! We're already friends! But no talking to the Young Master!"

"No, you're not qualified to say that," Kawaki immediately retorted.

"Lord Kawaki! I've held my breath underwater for ten minutes!" emerged from the water Gouzai and Gedoumaru simultaneously.

"You two have nothing to do with each other!" Kawaki protested.

"Hold your breath for two more hours," Kawaki glanced at the two of them indifferently, then turned his head to look at Maomao on the shore, his expression slightly serious. "Kawaki, that guy..."

"He's wearing briefs, isn't he?" Kawaki pointed to Maomao, looking at Kawaki.

"Is that what you noticed?!" Kawaki protested internally.

"Indeed, although we have no relationship," said Tsukuyo, standing next to Kawaki with her arms crossed, "that man is wearing not swim trunks, but briefs, right?"