NOVEL NEXT Chapter 500: Isn't the Year-End Party Just a Bunch of People Exchanging Complaints from the Past Year?
Maybe a Fake Gintama Chapter 500 Isn't the Year-End Party Just a Bunch of People Exchanging Complaints from the Past Year?
"No no, I... that's..." Umibouzu hastily waved his hand, then lightly tapped his chest with his fingertips, pretending to be relaxed as he continued, "However, as you can see, my feeling can easily make people doubt, [Santa Claus? Is he pretending...]"
"No, at this point, you don't need to maintain the character image anymore, right? That beard obviously looks glued on, isn't it?" Gintoki didn't give in at all, then put his hands on his hips with a somewhat helpless look, "Well, although I don't mind someone impersonating me, could you impersonate with a bit more dedication? Underestimating Santa Claus too much might incur retribution, you know?"
"No no no, haha... You're really good at joking~" Despite feeling irritated by Gintoki's words, Umibouzu tried his best to keep smiling. "You're the one impersonating me, aren't you?"
'What's going on with this guy!' Umibouzu thought to himself, 'He clearly has no intention of leaving...'
"But now there are many people who clearly impersonate but don't realize it," Although veins appeared on Gintoki's face unconsciously, he still spoke casually, "It's like how everyone is using the manga storytelling style pioneered by Osamu Tezuka-sensei as a matter of course."
'This old man is unexpectedly difficult to deal with...' Gintoki couldn't help but break out in a cold sweat on his face.
'What's going on with this guy? Why doesn't he quit already? Why is he still stubbornly clinging on like this!' Umibouzu gnashed his teeth in his mind, 'He's obviously just a fake!'
"Do you listen to rock music?" Umibouzu launched another attack, "You could say that all the rock music popular in the world now is the offspring of The Beatles. So in my opinion, you're no different from my child."
"Hey? What's wrong with that? Can't I? Then what do you listen to?"
"Santa Claus should definitely listen to Enya, soothing music, you know." Gintoki folded his arms with a matter-of-fact expression.
'Enough already! Old man! Anyway, you're just a fake, so hurry back to your home!' Gintoki shouted in his mind.
"Enya," Umibouzu hurriedly smiled and replied, "I also listen to Enya, 'Um yeah~ Come on~ Yeah~'"
"That's not Enya, that's Ikariya," Gin-san corrected with his hands in his pockets.
(Ikariya Chosuke: A Japanese comedian, leader of the comedy group "Drif.")
'Weird, this guy's attitude is like he's above everyone else...' Umibouzu felt the situation becoming more and more ominous.
"Also, there's Yamashita Tatsuro, although his songs have been almost talked to death." Gintoki continued nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.
(Yamashita Tatsuro: A veteran Japanese male singer.)
"Outdated, it's Mariya's era now," Umibouzu replied with a casual tone, "That KFC song."
(Takeuchi Mariya: A female singer who once made an advertising song for KFC.)
"Only Tatsuro and Kazumasa's songs are timeless no matter the era," Gintoki casually replied, then thought angrily in his mind, 'This old man, no matter how I attack he handles it with ease!'
(Kazumasa: Kazumasa Oda, a well-known male singer.)
'This confidence... could he be...' Umibouzu's expression gradually became solemn.
'Could he be...' Gintoki also felt a bit flustered.
Then, both of them widened their eyes simultaneously, black lines appearing at the corners of their eyes, and they simultaneously showed a constipated expression while thinking at the same time, '...The real Santa Claus?!'
'If that's the case, looking at him now...' Umibouzu secretly assessed Gintoki while thinking, "Although he looks lazy at first glance, his actions and posture revolve around a central axis. His aura, like that of a master swordsman, is impossible to ignore. Despite being a bearded old man, he's so energetic, even his skin looks like that of a young man in his twenties... Is this guy really human?'
At the same time, Gintoki was silently assessing Umibouzu while thinking, 'I did meet an old man who claimed to be Santa Claus before, but he was just a sorry old man without any aura. But this guy is different. Although he doesn't have the iconic white beard of Santa Claus, that mustache, the one below his nose, unexpectedly gives a sense of authenticity! It would unknowingly make people think that maybe Santa Claus actually has this kind of mustache. It's like [his final form is unexpectedly plain] feeling of betrayal when seeing Frieza's final form...'
Umibouzu suddenly realized something, 'No, but... that's not the point...'
'No... that's not the point...' Gintoki also realized something at this moment.
'I... I actually encountered the real Santa Claus at the most critical moment?!' Both of them thought at the same time.
"Kawaki-sama, those two have been standing there for a long time," a Hyakka pointed to the two in the courtyard and said to Kawaki, who was sitting very obediently beside Kouka, "No one has said anything, just standing there motionless."
"That kind of thing doesn't need for us to be worried about, it probably won't affect us," Kawaki casually replied, his gaze firmly fixed on Kouka.
"That's right, it won't affect us at all, haha..." Shinpachi chuckled, then proceeded to fish out several large pieces of fatty beef from the hotpot in front of him and began to enjoy them heartily.
"Yeah, it doesn't affect us at all!" After downing another glass of alcohol, Hasegawa let out a contented sigh. "Ah~ Today is really great~ Drinking freely like this feels amazing~"
"What a lively Christmas~" Hinowa smiled with narrowed eyes.
"This year's Christmas is the best Christmas because I received the best Christmas gift~" Kagura continued to playfully act spoiled in Kouka's arms.
"So you're Kagura-chan's mother," Otae said to Kouka with a smile, "I don't think we met last time you visited Earth. I'm Shimura Tae, the older sister of Shimura Shinpachi who works at Yorozuya along with Kagura-chan."
"Thank you for taking care of Kagura, thank you." Kouka nodded gently with a smile.
"No no, Kagura-chan is usually very sensible," Otae smiled in response.
"Kawaki-sama, I also want the best Christmas gift," one of the Hyakka girls coquettishly pleaded.
"Yeah, we also want the best Christmas gift." The other Hyakka girls echoed.
"You don't need to learn from them," Tsukuyo glanced at one of the Hyakka girls who, although dressed similarly, stood out slightly among the Hyakka members due to her smaller stature, and said lightly, "They're beyond redemption."
"Yes..." the mentioned Hyakka girl responded softly.
"As for gifts..." Kawaki pinched his chin and thought seriously for a moment, then narrowed his eyes and smiled charmingly, "I can't think of anything at the moment, but does anyone have any wishes?"
"Of course, it's to do some soft and fluffy things with Kawaki-sama!"
All the Hyakka members chimed in unison, but immediately afterward they began to glare at each other.
"Um, could you please suggest some wishes that are less harmful to the body..." Kawaki laughed awkwardly.
"Speaking of which, isn't it about time for Kawaki-chan to get married?"
At this moment, a seemingly ordinary sentence from Kouka instantly silenced the dozens of Hyakka members present.
'Opportunity!'
"Hahaha, this is the first time I have been urged to get married," Kawaki chuckled and rubbed the back of his head a few times, "These things can't be rushed, Sister Kouka."
"No, it's just that there seem to be a lot of women around Kawaki-chan..." Kouka smiled, then glanced lightly at Tsukuyo and the other Hyakka girls, "Anyone you like? If so, this visit to Earth might be a good opportunity for Sister to help you find someone."
"Anyone's fine?" Kawaki's expression became serious.
"Yeah, anyone's fine, Sister will help you."
Instantly, all the Hyakka girls couldn't help but gulp.
"Then I'll say it..." Kawaki cleared his throat, then showed a gentle smile as he gently held Kouka's hand, "Sister, divorce that baldy..."
Before Kawaki could finish his sentence, several kunai had already pierced his skull from behind, causing him to roll his eyes and collapse onto the table.
"Pay attention to ethics, you idiot scum," Tsukuyo coldly interjected.
"What are you doing? You stinky woman!" Kawaki pulled out the kunai from the back of his head and sat up. He then shouted angrily, "Opportunities like this don't come often! And what do you mean pay attention to ethics?!"
"Literal meaning," Tsukuyo replied indifferently.
"Did you guys get something wrong? We are not biological siblings!"
As soon as Kawaki said this, the eyes of all Hyakka members looking at Kouka became less friendly.
"Not real siblings?" Otae covered her mouth with some surprise, "Even in [Year 3 Class Z, Kawaki-sensei,] Kagura-chan calls Kawaki 'Little Uncle.'"
"The setting over there is an adopted son," Kawaki nodded self-explanatorily, "Adopted by Sister Kouka's parents since he was a child. After graduating from high school, he went to Japan to study and became a teacher after graduating from university."
"Oh? Is that so?" Otae said with some surprise.
"Yeah, that's how it is."
"Um, can we stop talking about the setting of the neighboring set in the main plot..." Shinpachi muttered silently, "It feels a bit off... very awkward."
"Didn't we agree to treat this as a year-end party?" Kawaki shrugged, "So a little complaint or two shouldn't be a big deal, right? Vent out the grievances accumulated over the past year, then drink a couple of cups and forget everything to welcome the new year, that's the true meaning of a year-end party!"
"That's right, that's right..." Hasegawa, who was already quite drunk, mumbled incoherently, "Drink until you're drunk and forget all your worries!"