Maybe a Fake Gintama

Maybe a Fake Gintama Chapter 497 Some Nouns Can Be Used as Adjectives! 

 

Looking at the text message editing page on the communicator in his hand, a full ten minutes had passed, and Kawaki still hadn't figured out what kind of text message he should edit and send.

Kawaki smiled somewhat self-deprecatingly and shook his head gently. Finally, he put the communicator back in his bosom, and leaned on the bench with his face up and his hands on his pillow. 

What Kawaki didn't know was that at the corner of the corridor only a few meters away from the emergency room, Tsukuyo was quietly leaning against the wall with her hands folded.

"Well, you're the patient's boyfriend, right?" The plump head nurse walked out of the emergency room and said to Kawaki. 

"Hey, keep talking nonsense and I'll make you into roasted pork belly." Kawaki stood up and reminded her expressionlessly.

"Anyway, your love... no, your friend is out of danger and can be transferred to the general ward now." The head nurse warned, "Try not to insert... no, stimulate his anus again in the future."

"Hey, I told you we do not have that kind of relationship!" Kawaki suddenly had veins on his face and shouted angrily, "He's just constipated! He was so constipated that he stayed in the toilet for four hours! I just lent him my toilet!"

"Well, in short, if he is constipated, remember to let him eat more bananas. Maybe lubricate him in advance..."

"Wait a minute, what do you mean by lubricating it in advance? What does it mean? In the end, do you still think we have that kind of relationship? Do you want to die? Fat woman? Huh? Do you want me to make roasted pork belly and feed it to stray cats? Huh?"

...

At seven o'clock in the morning, it was completely dawn, and Zenzou, who was lying on the bed in a hospital gown after being transferred to the ward, slowly woke up.

"Hey, it seems you are very lucky. You didn't die from excessive blood loss." Kawaki, who was sitting on a chair and flipping through a Jump magazine, said without raising his head.

"It's just a little bit close," Zenzou curled his lips, "I even saw my dead father waving to me from across the river. If I didn't dislike him too much, I might have passed."

"Isn't it good to pass?" Kawaki replied casually while looking at the Jump magazine in his hand, "You can reunite with your dead father. And this way of death feels unexpectedly suitable for you. Constipation causes hemorrhoids. Died of excruciating pain and excessive blood loss. It sounds like this is not a way for ordinary people to die, and only an elite ninja like you from Oniwabanshuu is worthy of it."

"Indeed," Zenzou couldn't help but smile, "It sounds like a way to die that will be remembered for a lifetime. Although it does not seem like a ninja's way of death, if it really comes to the end of life, on that day, I really hope that my life will end in this way."

"Really?" Kawaki responded casually, still lowering his head and looking at the Jump magazine in his hand, "If that's the case, I will probably laugh out loud at the funeral. Is it okay?"

"Please hold it back for me, because I'm afraid I can't help but laugh with you. In the end, I will be very embarrassed if the funeral is ruined because I frightened the guests."

"I'm sorry, I will not be able to hold it. If you don't want me to laugh at your funeral, you should not invite me. But I think it's unlikely because there are not many opportunities to laugh at you in a lifetime. I won't let it go so easily."

With that said, Kawaki threw the Jump magazine in his hand toward Zenzou and stood up, "If you want to avoid embarrassing yourself, just eat a few bananas on the bedside every day. Also, I haven't read the last page yet. Remember to return it to me after you finish it."

"What a strange person." Zenzou sat up, opened the Jump magazine in his hand, and slightly curled his lips, "How can someone lend their comics to others without reading the last page? This is the first time I have seen such a person."

Kawaki did not reply, but stood at the door of the ward and gently raised his hand behind him in response, then started to leave without looking back.

...

A few days later, Yorozuya.

"Little uncle is so weird lately-aru." Kagura sat cross-legged on the sofa with her hands folded and her eyes closed, her expression slightly solemn.

"Isn't it because of another scam?" Shinpachi, who was cleaning the house with a vacuum cleaner wearing a turban, said without raising his head, "Let me explain in advance, if you do that kind of thing a second time, it will make the readers annoyed. Yes, the number of readers who were originally few will become fewer and fewer."

"OTAKU is quite strange," Gintoki, who was lying on the sofa on the other side, said casually while flipping through a Jump magazine, "Just like Shinpachi is Shinpachi three hundred and sixty-five days in a year."

After hearing this, Shinpachi stopped what he was doing, pushed up his glasses, and complained expressionlessly: "Hey, what does Shinpachi mean? What exactly is Shinpachi? An adjective? A noun? "

"Calm down, Shinpachi." Kagura said, then nodded and explained to herself, "Noun or adjective actually has nothing to do with it. To give a simple example, like Gin-chan... is Gin-chan three hundred and sixty-five days of the year."

"Oh! I understand!" Shinpachi raised his hand and knocked, "It means that Gin-san is a dead fish eye naturally wavy hair with no energy for three hundred and sixty-five days a year, right?!"

"Hey, I'll deduct your salary. Shinpachi is Shinpachi three hundred and sixty-five days a year." Gintoki glanced at Shinpachi indifferently.

"If it were replaced Shinpachi, it would be equivalent to Shinpachi is a disgusting virgin glasses who loves to fantasize and estrus three hundred and sixty-five days a year-aru!"

"Hey! What the hell do you think of me!" Shinpachi shouted angrily with blue veins popping out.

"But having said that, little uncle has been really strange recently-aru."

"Don't ignore me!!"

"Those Hyakka also said that little uncle has been acting strangely recently," Kagura continued, minding her own business, "They said that late one night, he helped a man whose anus was bleeding from his room to the hospital. When he returned during the day the next day, he became a little strange."

"Um... I always feel like I heard something terrible," Shinpachi complained silently, "Let me confirm again, he was helping a man whose anus was bleeding out from his room?"

"That's enough, Shinpachi." Gintoki sat up, crossed his hands, and stopped him with some seriousness, "After all, it's not convenient for us to inquire so much about such private issues. But I didn't expect that guy Kawaki not only has an interest in cosmic beings and goddesses, but now he also has an interest in man..."

Before Gintoki could finish his words, his eyes suddenly rolled back and fell straight toward the table.

Looking at Gintoki, who was lying on the table and still twitching and obviously unconscious, and the kunai on the back of Gintoki's head that penetrated three-thirds of his head, half of Shinpachi's face began to twitch non-stop.

"Tsukki!" Kagura shouted in surprise toward the entrance.

"En." Tsukuyo held her kiseru with one hand and raised her other hand in response.

"I'm going to prepare tea!" Shinpachi hurriedly walked to the kitchen nearby.

"No, no need. I just need your help with a few things." Tsukuyo said calmly, "I'll leave after I finish speaking."

Hearing her, Kagura and Shinpachi looked at Tsukuyo with some doubts.

...

The next day, early morning.

Yoshiwara.

"Hey, get up and patrol."

"Ah, Tsukki..." Kawaki rubbed his eyes and yawned, but he never opened his eyes, "Let me sleep a little longer. I played a game too late yesterday. Today is a day off. Come on...please ZZZ..."

"There is a very important celebration today, a celebration that only happens once a year."

"I'm not interested..." Kawaki turned aside and cried out again, "ZZZZ..."

Puchi! (Sound of kunai stabbing)

"Hey! What kind of celebration is this!" Kawaki pulled out the kunai on his head, sat up, and shouted angrily, "What kind of celebration involves blood so early in the morning?!"

But just after he finished speaking, Kawaki suddenly noticed something. He looked at Tsukuyo, who was wearing a black cheongsam embroidered with maple leaves, the same style as the previous yukata, "Huh? Tsukki, your clothes..."

"Kawaki-sama!" A group of Hyakka members who were also wearing cheongsam opened the room door and walked in, "Today is CHINA Dress Day! Get up quickly and go on a date with us!"

"CHINA Dress Day?" Kawaki made a confused sound.

"Didn't you say you can drink as much as you want on CHINA Dress Day?" Gintoki, wearing a changshan with the same design as his original kimono, came over and stood at Kawaki's door with his little finger picking his nostrils and staring at the dead fish eyes and said, "That's why I came here wearing such shameful clothes."

Having said that, Gintoki's right side is still exposed.

"Little Uncle! Get up quickly-Aru!" Kagura, who didn't know when she coming, pointed at Kawaki with an umbrella, put her hands on her hips, and shouted with a serious face, "The festival has begun-aru!"

"Kawaki-san, you are the only one missing." Shinpachi, who was also wearing a blue and white changshan, pointed to Hinowa, who was sitting in a wheelchair wearing a cheongsam, and behind her were Otae, Seita, Kyubei, Elizabeth, Sacchan, Sogo, and others who were also wearing Chinese clothes.

"You..." Kawaki opened his eyes unconsciously.

"I haven't read the last page either." Zenzou, who was wearing a blue changshan, leaned against the window, raised his hand, and threw the Jump magazine in his hand toward Kawaki, "Although it's a bit regretful that I can't see the ending, it's an unexpected fascinating feeling."

 "You..."

"Hurry up." Tsukuyo threw the washed light green changshan that Kawaki had stuffed into the cabinet when he came back from the hospital toward Kawaki.

"Well...although I am indeed a little touched, but...don't you think it's a little bit embarrassing?" Kawaki looked at the changshan in his hand and murmured, "Are you going to watch me change my clothes?"

...

"Sister Kouka, I tried on the clothes, and although they fit me well, I still like to wear the clothes I'm used to. But it's not bad to wear it once in a while, and it's good to wear it once a year with everyone. Attached jpg."

The attached photo is a group photo of Kawaki and others having fun at the cocktail party on the evening of [CHINA Dress Day].

...

One day, Yoshiwara.

"Little Uncle, isn't your birthday on October 9th-Aru?" Kagura asked.

"Ah, that should be it," Kawaki responded casually.

"Should?"

"I don't know the specific date, I just happen to remember that day deeply."

"Why?"

"Because that day I met your mother, and... a bald man."

(Kawaki's birthday arc, end)