NOVEL NEXT 2.12 Self-Checkout
"That was so dangit scary, now we have mercs hunting us? I hoped Salazar was the only one..." Ricky muttered, mostly to himself. "Aww man, and my new breastplate is all scratched!"
"I do not want to downplay the dangerous situation you just saved me from, but my sense of Adventure is actually quite excited to have rivals now. I hope they do not force me to take lethal countermeasures in the future!" Tapper's chipper tone gave Ricky an uneasy look, which vanished the instant Tapper acknowledged the strange device in his hand. "And my sense of Adventure is equally intrigued in this wondrous item! Did you find a relic in the market?"
Ricky beamed, all concerns forgotten in the light of finally receiving some recognition. "Ha! No, this is what I've been trying to show you and Phanya. This is my magic, I'm an Artificer!" He turned it over to make sure Tapper could appreciate the layers of work, though to Tapper it just looked like a mess of interconnecting gears. "I'm still working out the details and this is just my first working proof of concept. But I can build a gizmo to store one exact spell and —"
"Hey, you in the hauler!" a voice suddenly shouted.
Ricky groaned at the interruption, and his annoyance quieted slightly when he noticed the crowd that had gathered around them. "What? The mercenaries that caused this flew away, they were trying to steal my bot."
"Not true!" another voice shouted back. "I saw that little monster breaking things, he's part of it too!"
Kakisi made a scared chirp and ducked back into the safety of Tapper's tank, and the robot held up his hands to the rowdy crowd. "My apologies if my attempted theft caused any distress! Thankfully, I have recorded the entire event and will be more than happy to show the Privateer's management exactly how and why their security failed to protect you all!"
Tapper's eyebrows twitched a grin at Ricky, to help reassure the young man. His social programming flared as he used the sales tactics subroutines to sway the crowd, and he felt the reaction in their grumblings. Good bartenders are programmed to pacify angry and scared customers, but now Tapper redirected those negative energies away from them and onto the security forces. A few people in view wearing the reflective safety uniforms rubbed the back of their necks and averted their gaze, but others took that insult and redoubled their own anger towards Tapper.
One overeager security guard broke from the crowd, and others quickly followed him. "What'd the fuckin' bot say?"
Ricky hauled Tapper behind him with one hand and held the other up to the approaching security. "Ha ha, what he meant is that my boss needs to talk to your boss. So why don't we all go get our own bosses and meet back here?"
A different security guard stood straight and turned to almost grab the pistol at his belt. Between the small laser weapon and his authoritative tone, Tapper estimated that he just accidentally insulted the chief of the entire security team. "Sir, do not move until we assess the damages that your robot caused."
Ricky noticed the implied threat and panic started to gnaw at his nerves. "No see, we actually gotta get back to the car. Salazar knows the rules, you'll want to talk to him and —"
"Sir! Do not move!"
"Excuse me, but there is a compromise!" Tapper suddenly called. Ricky still held Tapper tucked under one arm and unknowingly swung him around whenever he moved, so Tapper was the first to notice the oncoming commotion. "Our vehicle is approaching to meet us here, you can speak to our entire team now!"
All eyes turned to watch the jitney rumbling around the curve of the Privateer, and Ricky heaved a sigh of relief before his second thoughts hit. "Hey wait, why is Phanya running behind it?"
Tapper strained his sensors, but he couldn't isolate her shouting from the din of their surrounding chatter. "I am not sure, but she is clearly trying to get our attention. She's waving in a very distressed manner and... oh."
The same realization hit Ricky when the jitney sped by without stopping. "Oh no. Uh, we really need to catch that. Sorry!" He started running before he finished talking, and once he cleared the crowd Ricky's exosuit took over. The bulky armor was too awkward for fine pivoting, but in long straightaways it doubled the length of his stride with no extra effort. Ricky could now outpace the average person's dead sprint, and yet Phanya still caught up to Ricky before he reached their car.
"Hello, Phanya!" Tapper called, waving happily from under Ricky's arm. "Where is Salazar going without us?"
"No talk… catch him... kick his ass..." Phanya huffed. Unlike Ricky, Phanya was using all of her effort and labored for every breath, and it was barely enough to keep pace with the jitney. She knew it was only a matter of time before Salazar found enough clearance to speed up, so without warning she suddenly jumped on Ricky's shoulders.
"Gah, what the hell Phanya!? My suit isn't that strong!"
"Shut up and keep running!" Phanya snapped back. "I have a feat that'll help, but I can't run and scroll at the same time!" The long list of feats dominated her inner eye, but luckily she had been browsing the list all afternoon whenever she had time to spare so it only took a moment to find it.
[Feat: Strong Legs
Float like a butterfly, kick like a mule. You can now add your Flex die to checks for leaping, traversing difficult terrain, shoving enemies, and other leg-based locomotion. You also receive an additional (2m) of movement speed, scaling with your Body Mastery level.]
Phanya hated to waste her Level 3 feat on something as mundane as running, but hopefully the description was just downplaying the effects. This specific feat had stuck out in her mind because, after all, being a feat put it on the same degree of system weirdness as Tapper's magic. Right? She selected it and the sensation of pins and needles instantly washed over her legs, but without the numbness of falling asleep.
No time to dwell, Phanya dropped from Ricky's back and instantly felt a difference in her running speed. With every step she felt like she stayed in the air for just a fraction of a second longer than physics would dictate, and her labored breathing slowed down to match. The jitney started a long turn around the marketplace and with a flash of inspiration Phanya suddenly turned to intercept, stepping off a market stall and launching herself on top of the car's curved back section.
"Oh she's proper mad," Ricky gulped. "How fast can you run, Taps?"
"Not fast enough to catch the runaway vehicle on my own."
"Then hold on!" Ricky heaved Tapper with all his enhanced might and tossed, sending the robot screaming and tumbling through the air.
Phanya heard the crash behind her, but by now she was starting to recognize the sound of clattering robot parts and didn't stop to check. She wrenched open the trap door and stomped to the floor, hoping to startle the bastard. Salazar squealed in terror through his stupid beaked gas mask and threw a small metal ball at Phanya, but with him still seated at the wheel there wasn't any leverage or power behind it.
Even in the cramped confines Phanya could've easily dodged the projectile, but in her annoyance she instead slapped the ball right back at him. The instant she made contact with the ball it activated and sprayed her with a noxious gas that triggered all of her body's 'get it out' functions at once. Her eyes watered, her nose clogged, and her lungs tried to evacuate themselves.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.
[Save attempt against poison failed]
[Status effects gained: Stunned, blinded]
Phanya couldn't see anything besides the status message through her tears, so she missed watching her counterattack bean Salazar in the side of the head and knock his gas mask askew. But she heard his hacking cough match hers, and she stumbled through the pain to give the lizard a much-needed throttling.
Tapper fell through the trap door mid-throttle, gawking at the two humanoids as they blindly thrashed across the dashboard. The uncoordinated slap-fight was very unlike Phanya, until Tapper's sensors picked up a trace of the airborne toxins and he noticed their shared signs of physical sickness. Phanya's been poisoned!
Tapper rushed to her rescue, until a small crash knocked him off balance. Whatever they ran over didn't stop the jitney, but it threw Phanya and Salazar painfully against the dashboard and Tapper registered the more immediate danger. He tried to reach around the tussle, one hand clamped on the steering wheel while all other limbs pushed back against the fighting, and barely swerved the jitney around a stack of shipping containers.
Ricky had his own problem: he couldn't fit through the trap door while wearing his exosuit. He briefly considered taking off his armor one piece at a time to drop through the opening, until a bullet pinged off his armor and brought his attention back to reality. Ricky wedged his head and shoulders through the door to warn everyone, but caught short when he saw the all-out brawl happening inside the jitney. "Uh, guys? Security is shooting at us now. Stop fighting!"
No one answered, but before he could try again a sharp tearing sound caught Ricky's attention. He craned his neck around in time to watch another binding snap, and the gap between the two vehicle halves grew just a little bit larger. If the back end fell off altogether then Ricky could easily slip inside... and leave everyone else wide open to getting shot. "Ah shit. Tapper! GET US OUT OF HERE!" Ricky bellowed at the top of his lungs, and the robot's head spun around to nod back.
Back on the roof, Ricky kept their head down to avoid the increasing gunfire and crawled over to where the two vehicles met. Salazar had warned them that the impromptu tethers wouldn't hold up under pressure, so he unhooked his gizmo and started winding the key. Ready or not, it was time for a field test.
Tapper struggled to stand against the torrent of blows. Hands, feet, elbows, knees, even the occasional tail slapped against him over and over, usually doing little more than distracting him. But every few seconds Tapper noticed one point of HP tick down, so it was only a matter of time before his companions caused serious injury. If this was any random fight Tapper could break them up with a spell, but his programming couldn't allow anything potentially harmful against his proprietor. Plus, these were his friends.
He tried again to grab someone's limb and manually stop the fight, but a sharp elbow cracked Tapper in the faceplate and sent him reeling away from the dashboard. Without anyone at the wheel, the jitney stopped following the marketplace path and straightened out. Tapper caught a glimpse of the infinite horizon through the windshield before they escaped the Privateer by careening over the lip and into open air.
Phanya and Salazar felt the sudden loss of gravity and stopped fighting, only to hug each other with panicked screams when they saw the tarmac rushing to meet them. Tapper bumped against the roof and latched on, as his emotional center warred between joining in on the screaming and taking action. The roller coaster sensations reminded Tapper of his fight with Zero. When he saw Ricky through the crack in the vehicles, swinging through the air on the end of another light rope, Tapper knew what he had to do.
"Double, double toil on backs; metal twists and calls SPRAY TRACKS!"
The magic circle in Tapper's mind was hazy, burned in a moment of panic when Tapper thought his actions had gotten Phanya killed. But he repeated the improvised spell verbatim and the circle held, forming his concepts into reality as energy poured into the jitney. And poured, and poured. Their car was so thirsty! It made sense, since this vessel was a magnitude larger than the possessed sample cart, but it took most of his mana before it finally clicked and he felt the spell take form.
The spell only lasted for five seconds and the large vehicle handled with the grace of a brick, but Tapper wasn't attempting any fancy tricks this time. He mentally pictured the tracks underneath the jitney forming a gentle slope to the tarmac and the vehicle leveled out, and Phanya and Salazar collapsed into a heap on the floor with gravity's return. Tapper should've joined them when he had the chance, but he was too focused on maintaining the spell and didn't want to risk letting go of the ceiling and losing contact with his spell target. Once the spell ran out so did the tracks, and the jitney fell the remaining meter to the tarmac with a much harder lurch that knocked Tapper loose. He slammed down and stayed down, the stunned debuff overriding everything else for the moment.
Phanya hadn't received any damage or debuffs from the fall, but she still felt stunned. The normal kind of stunned that happens after someone goes through multiple life-or-death experiences without time to properly rest. Gods, she needed a good rest. But then no one would take care of her people, and they couldn't be trusted to take care of themselves. Always just doing whatever they wanted, especially Ricky —
"Oh fuck, Ricky!" Phanya suddenly shouted. Fresh panic cleared away the cobwebs and Phanya scrambled to her feet, looking around as if she expected to find the bulky exosuit hiding away in some dark corner of the van's interior. "Where's Ricky!?"
"Out here." Ricky's answer came through the gap between vehicles, quiet and shaky, and Phanya stuck her head outside to find him dangling from a glowing chain like a terrified wrecking ball. The other end of the chain was secured to the roof of the jitney and Ricky could've easily dropped to the tarmac, but he refused to let go of his life line. "Um, I think I changed my mind about going on an adventure. Can we go home now?"
Phanya didn't respond, but she ducked back inside and slumped into a chair with a heavy sigh. With the fight over she was suddenly so very, very tired. She just needed a little breather, as a reward for everyone surviving, and then she'd get back to work.
"Ugh, I'm… I'm not dead?"
Upon hearing Salazar's voice a noise rumbled in Phanya's chest, somewhere between a groan and a growl. "Give me a sec and I'll fix that for you."
Ricky was slowly coming to terms with their wild ride, and had just started to loosen his death grip on the chain when he heard the sounds of a scuffle inside their vehicle. His grip redoubled, it probably wasn't safe to let go just yet. The passenger side door to the jitney suddenly kicked open and Salazar tumbled onto the tarmac, making all manner of fearful and panicking noises. He knelt within the slice of light cast by the open door and threw his hands up to shield his face when Phanya's shadow fell over him.
"Wait wait wait, we can talk about this!"
"You tried to kill us," Phanya growled, taking slow steps towards the cowering mercenary. Without his vehicle and hidden weapons, Phanya was suddenly very aware that she had nothing at all to fear from Salazar. "We saved your life anyways, and then you tried to ditch us. And that stink bomb you threw in my face fucking hurt!" Phanya kicked Salazar, not with her full force. She didn't want to kill him, but right now she wanted him to hurt.
Suddenly, Tapper appeared between them, blocking Salazar's body with his own. "Oi! THAT'S ENOUGH!" Tapper's sudden full-volume shout finally broke through to Phanya and Salazar and they stopped, blinking at him through misty eyes. "Thank you. This behavior is very unbecoming of you both!"
Silence followed, and Salazar used the opportunity to start groveling. "I swear I wasn't doing anything else! I was just trying to leave! The other mercs hunting your robot... it's all above me, I'm just a basic tarhound, I'm not cut out for fighting psychopaths..."
"And, he saved us from an altercation with Privateer security," Tapper said, cutting off Salazar before he could put his foot in his mouth.
Phanya scoffed, she wasn't about to believe anything charitable about Salazar. "Saved you from what? It was probably just luck."
"Perhaps. But I am choosing to believe that Mister Salazar saved us, intentionally or not. The point is, by my calculations we would currently be worse off if Mister Salazar had not attempted to commandeer our vehicle, and we will likely need his assistance again before we can reach the city. So please, do not harm our compatriot."
Phanya stared at the robot for a long moment, contemplating that it had given her a command. Not for the first time, but the others were only when Tapper thought someone's life was in danger. Her stance finally dropped to something more casual than 'ready to pounce with murderous intent,' though Phanya still crossed her arms with a huff.
Eventually she cleared her throat and said, "Hey, Sal."
Salazar squirmed until he was sitting more solidly behind Tapper. "Y-yes?"
"Say 'thank you' to Tapper for saving your ass. Again." Tapper's eyebrows wiggled in thanks and he stepped aside to help coax Ricky down. Phanya offered a hand to Salazar, and when he eventually took it she yanked the mercenary to his feet. She hissed, "Try anything and I'll leave you to bake on the tarmac, no matter what the robot says," and she shoved Salazar into the car before he could respond.
Phanya wondered if she'll ever get to take a break.