Magical Girl Mechanical Heart

Okay. Alright. So. Let's assess how fucked I am.

The most powerful living magical girl is standing right in front of me. Great. Fine. Normally not a problem. In normal circumstances, I'd be ecstatic to find out she's my roommate. Unfortunately, my soul is currently trapped in a robot designed by an extinct species most famous for blowing up their own universe, so the M.O. of any magical girls that encounter me is 'capture and detain.' The only thing standing between me and eternal extra-dimensional Preserver prison is an admittedly hyper-realistic human skinsuit.

Suffice to say, a lot is suddenly riding on that thing holding up under scrutiny. I knew that going into this, sure, but I didn't think I'd have to maintain perfect kayfabe in front of my own roommate. If she ever finds out, I'm fucked. I might already be fucked!

…Am I already fucked?

I pour through the data my various sensors are picking up, tasting the emotions she's leaking into the air. Hmm. Not even a whiff of aggression. She seems a bit anxious, but it's not the sort of anxiety one feels when they have encountered a device that may possibly end the world. So she doesn't know. Right? I mean, of course she doesn't know. This disguise held up to a Preserver, surely it'll hold up to any Earth Guardian I encounter. Right? Right. Of course.

Okay, stop freaking out. Stop freaking out. It's fine. Answer her question like a normal person, Luna.

"Do you know ASL?" I sign.

Castalia nods. I pointedly do not stare at her (lack of) arms that completely prevents her from speaking the language.

"...Okay," I allow.

"I learned it before I was injured," Castalia explains. "You are mute, not deaf, correct? So it should not be a problem. Of course, if you have other objections to rooming with me, I would have no problem with supporting your request for a transfer."

She says it all as flatly and evenly as everything else that comes out of her mouth, devoid of inflection or apparent care. Most people probably assume she's just like that, just the sort of person who is genuinely that stoic, but I didn't believe it back before I was an empath and I certainly don't believe it now. She's offering to help me transfer because she can sense my fear and uncertainty. And… she's a little bit devastated.

She was looking forward to having a roommate. A lot. I can tell.

The smart thing to do would be to take her up on that offer anyway. But I can't stop thinking about that. She was looking forward to having a roommate. Just like me. Because like me, she's… lonely. Sure, her reasons why are different. I always avoided people, but other people were probably the ones avoiding her. She doesn't even seem surprised to feel fear coming off of me. The chaotic mess of emotion she can no doubt read off of me the same way I'm reading her doesn't register to her as abnormal in the slightest. People avoid her, because she's the stone-faced disabled girl who saved the world.

So maybe it's because of that, and maybe it's because I still have a bit of a crush on her, but I know what my answer has to be.

"I don't have a problem with it," I sign. "Want to be friends?"

She doesn't smile, but I don't need to look at facial expressions to know when someone is happy anymore.

"Okay," she says.

Well, then. That's… that's great. I'm friends with someone I've admired for most of my entire life. More than that, I get to live with her. It's a shame she'll probably annihilate me if she ever figures out what I am, but hey. These things happen.

"Do you need any help moving in?" Castalia asks, still floating an inch off the ground because why not I guess.

"No, I already finished," I answer.

"Oh, okay."

Aw, she wanted to help me. That's cute.

"Did you have another roommate last year?" I ask, though I already know the answer.

"No," Castalia says. "You are my first. Please inform me if I break etiquette."

"It's alright," I assure her. "Honestly, I never got along with any of my former roommates, so I'm hoping this year will be different."

She doesn't smile, but I feel the same bubble of joy so common to that gesture.

"I will do my best," she assures me.

Well! Okay! This seems like a really good start, for something that scared the ever-loving crap out of me. Whew. I was really worried for a moment there, but this might not be so bad. Hmm. Now what?

Castalia and I both stare at each other awkwardly, not having any idea how to continue the conversation. Oh boy.

[MeanBeanMachine]: You done unpacking?

Ah, right, the messaging program I have emulated inside my brain. I love that thing. My best friend lives in there.

[LunaLightOTK]: Yes. Currently having an awkward staredown with my new roommate.

[MeanBeanMachine]: Establishing dominance?

[LunaLightOTK]: lol no, I would lose at that immediately. I think we're both just socially awkward. Like, I kind of want to keep talking with her, and I think she wants to keep talking to me, but what the heck do we talk about?

[MeanBeanMachine]: You couuulllllld… get her to pose for a picture? And then send that picture to me?

[LunaLightOTK]: What is with you and pictures lately?

[MeanBeanMachine]: I want to be able to dox your last known location in case you suddenly get kidnapped and disappear again.

[LunaLightOTK]: Oh.

I can't even say that's a bad idea, though I'm not sure what Bean could do about it if the Preservers do end up taking me.

[LunaLightOTK]: Anyway I think the picture thing might be kind of awkward. Don't want to take one without her permission but asking feels… weird? Like, she might take it the wrong way because she's famous.

[MeanBeanMachine]: Famous? Are you going to the same college as before? Who's famous other than… no. No fucking way.

[LunaLightOTK]: Yeah.

[MeanBeanMachine]: NO. Are you kidding me!?

[LunaLightOTK]: It's Castalia.

[MeanBeanMachine]: *Points at you* MAGICAL GIRL MAGICAL GIRL MAGICAL GIRL MAGICAL GIRL

[LunaLightOTK]: There is at least a somewhat significant chance that this is a coincidence.

[MeanBeanMachine]: Meaning there's a chance it isn't!?

"…I am going to go help some other people move in," Castalia suddenly says, breaking me out of my mental conversation. "You are welcome to join me, even if you do not wish to assist."

Uh. Hmm. I'm a little intimidated at the prospect of spending more time with Castalia, but… well, I'm going to have to get used to that pretty quickly, aren't I? Besides, I'm a fuckin' robot. It's not like I'm going to struggle with carrying heavy boxes around. I nod.

"Sure," I sign. "I'd be happy to. Lead the way."

Another bit of northward magical energy wafts off of Castalia in excess of the usual burn she has going at any given time. Gosh, being able to read her emotions despite that impassive face makes her so much more adorable. All the reasons I originally had a crush on her come rushing back to the forefront of my mind, and… oh god, wait, she's also an empath, I really need to stop getting unrequited crushes on empaths!

Thankfully, if Castalia notices she doesn't react. I can probably delude myself into believing my embarrassing secret is safe. After all, I don't know how good of an empath the most powerful human being to ever exist is. Anath is probably the weakest member of the Dark Rebellion, but she's the best empath! So it's not correlated with strength at all. This makes perfect sense.

My subroutine designed to give me human-seeming affectations has me nod my head at these thoughts, reflecting my satisfaction at my own logic. For some reason, this makes me slightly less confident in my conclusion. Let's just not think about it. I'm getting real good at that.

Castalia leads me out of the dorms, floating at normal human walking speed down the stairs. I'm pretty sure she can walk, she just usually doesn't because… I dunno, because flying is awesome, probably? If I could fly as much as I wanted I'd probably do that too. It's possible her legs just don't work, but they certainly don't look anywhere near as injured as her face or torso. Aaaaand now I'm staring at her legs. It's not my fault. She has really nice legs. A bit thin, but not so thin that they look unnatural or malnourished. Gah, I should probably stop staring.

It's weird being this close to her. I was so awkward and shy as a human that I never would have dreamed of just walking beside her like this. I just sort of figured no one wanted to be around me by default. Having access to concrete proof that isn't the case is a pretty big confidence booster!

It probably doesn't hurt that I'm hot now, too. I was super-ultra gross before all of this started. I was frumpy, lumpy, and I didn't take care of myself all that well. I barely even looked like a girl. Now? I'm probably big enough to be considered unattractive to the sort of man that gets brainwashed by perfect pornography bodies, but in my eyes I'm just a whole lotta woman. Well-shaped, but decidedly squishable. I really kinda like it.

Ahh, I'm all nervous now! Come on, pay attention. Where are we going?

As it turns out, we aren't going all that far. Castalia leads me to the same parking lot my car is at, where countless other students are starting their unpacking around us. I glance between them, wondering which of them is Castalia's friend. Well, I assume her friend, anyway. She didn't seem to talk to anybody when I was at school with her last time, but it's been several months since then. Hopefully she found a nice… oh. Hmm. Alright, that figures.

I recognize one of the people standing by a car in front of us, and part of me wishes I didn't. Eliza Campbell, the human form of the Earth Guardians Fulgora and Minerva, both of whom I have ended up in pretty major fights with before. I caught her name the first time we ran… er, no, wait, the second time we ran into each other. I'm not sure why she has two incarnate forms, but according to Anath they're the same person. Which like, cool, whatever. The main problem is that this is yet another magical girl who could potentially discover my secret and fuck me up. I guess it's not that much more dangerous than just being around Castalia by herself, though.

"Hello, Fulgora," Castalia greets. "How are you doing?"

"Huh?" Eliza blinks… or maybe Fulgora blinks? Gonna have to figure out her preferred name. "Castalia? What are you doing here?"

"Saying hello," Castalia answers. "Offering help. This is my new roommate, Luna."

"I'm also offering help," I sign.

"She says she is also offering help," Castalia translates.

Fulgora's eyes widen a little, visibly taking a short moment to process that interaction and figure out I'm using ASL. Hmm. That's gonna be a reaction I'll need to get used to, isn't it?

"Um… I don't really need help," Fulgora insists, embarrassment wafting off of her. "I mean, I appreciate it, but you don't have to… do anything. I'm waiting here for someone."

"Oh," Castalia says. "Should I depart?"

"N-no, of course not! Unless you want to, obviously."

Wow, these two are both so awkward. I'm starting to suspect being a child soldier makes you a little socially maladjusted.

"Eliza, I'm back! I got our keeeeeooooh goodness gracious. Um, hi!"

This must be the roommate, then. Some girl I've never seen before waves at us, trying and failing not to stare wide-eyed at Castalia. Mood, girl. Mood. I give her a loose salute of greeting, since it's simultaneously how you say 'hello' in sign language and also just a fairly normal wave. There's a bunch of neat little things like that in ASL, I'm kinda glad I finally got forced to learn it.

"Hello," Castalia nods politely.

"Miss Castalia! Ma'am! Um! Hi! I'm Chloe," the girl introduces herself.

"I am just Castalia. This is my new roommate, Luna."

I can't help but fidget a little. She gets a little happier every time she says that.

"Nice to meet you," I sign.

Chloe perks up a little.

"Oh, uh, gosh, I'm a little rusty," she mutters to herself, but then she signs "It's nice to meet you, too! I am C-H-L-O-E."

Huh. Neat.

"I cannot speak, but I can hear," I tell her. "You don't need to sign back."

She seems a bit surprised by that, which… fair. The reverse is much more common. Which makes me feel weirdly bad because, y'know, I'm faking the disability in the first place? Mostly because I'm faking my species. Stupid immobile jaw.

"It's good to practice," she signs back anyway. I nod. Can't argue with that, I suppose. Silly humans and their silly ability to forget things. Hehehe. Look at me being all privately superior.

"Well, our roommates are getting along," Eliza comments to Castalia. "Chloe, are we gonna get this stuff moved in or what?"

"Oh! Yes! Coming!" Chloe confirms, rushing up to the car. Castalia and I follow behind her, both of us intending to help no matter how many protests are aimed in our direction.

"You really don't have to do this," Eliza insists, not realizing that she is being preemptively ignored. Chloe opens up the trunk of the car to a wall of boxes, and three of them immediately levitate out of the back to float around Castalia's head. Chloe squeaks in surprise, staring at the floating boxes in awe, allowing me to sneak past her and pick up a pair of my own. Wow, this is like seventy pounds. Are these full of books or something? I'll have to pretend to be struggling a bit.

"Ah! Oh gosh, thank you!" Chloe says, quickly nabbing a box of her own. "I'll lead you to our room, one sec…"

Eliza picks up some stuff last and we depart together, heading back into the dorm plaza. It turns out their room is in a different building from ours, but it's still just a couple-minute walk away from where Castalia and I will be living. With the powers of super strength, levitation, and Chloe on our side we manage to fully unload her car in record time.

"Nice!" Chloe beams, hands on her hips. "Wow, this place is a lot bigger than I expected it to be. I always thought college dorms were like, tiny little boxes with two beds smooshed together."

"Some of them are, it just depends on where you go," I sign, but then I realize no one is actually looking at me. Hmm. Right. That's annoying. Gonna need to get used to that. I imagine most ASL-speaking people wouldn't make that mistake, I've just sort of hooked up my language center to the part of myself that does sign language so whenever I have an urge to say something it defaults to the way I'm supposed to actually 'say' it. But of course, I'm used to being heard, not seen.

"Well again, thank you both so much for your help," Chloe says, turning back to smile at Castalia and me.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

"Yeah, thanks," Eliza nods.

"It was not a problem," Castalia answers, and I nod in agreement. "I do not have much to do today."

"Well, Eliza and I were gonna go out to eat once we finished unpacking everything," Chloe says. "Wanna come with us? I'd be happy to treat you to lunch."

Oh boy, we're already testing the eating in public thing. I don't wanna fuck around with that already, it feels like a bad idea.

"I already ate," I sign.

"You already ate?" Chloe repeats out loud, which strikes me as a bit weird until I realize it's probably for Eliza's sake. "Well, you're welcome to just come with us and hang out, but no pressure either way!"

"I would enjoy going with you," Castalia says.

"Awesome! Um, does that mean you're going to?" Chloe asks.

"Yes."

"That's great! You should totally come with us, Luna. We can do a whole get-to-know-you thing. Plus, I don't wanna be the only one there who doesn't have superpowers."

Well, I unfortunately can't help you there. Eliza purses her lips and gives Chloe a bit of a look, which Chloe doesn't seem to notice. Come to think of it, while I know Eliza's secret identity, that's probably not public knowledge. I should act accordingly.

"I take it the two of them know each other through Earth Guardian work?" I ask.

"Oh! Uh, shoot, I'm sorry Eliza, was that supposed to be a secret?" Chloe cringes.

"…Kind of, but it's fine," Eliza sighs. "Castalia already called me Fulgora, and even if nobody said anything people were gonna figure it out just because she levitated half a dozen boxes into our dorm room."

Castalia's face moves so slightly it's probably imperceptible to everyone else.

"Was I wrong to call you Fulgora?" she asks. "I'm sorry."

"No, I mean, you were correct," Eliza assures her. "Like I said, it's fine. My secret identity is probably shot anyway, and it's… kind of nice? So whatever."

"As of recently, I believe all of your identities have been shot," Castalia says, causing Eliza to turn away and blush for some reason.

"I was loopy from my Catharsis, okay? It's not my fault I wasn't thinking straight."

Castalia blinks, feeling surprised and confused.

"I know?" she says. "I am sorry, I believe I may have misunderstood something."

"Then don't worry about it," Eliza groans. "Let's just go get food."

"Sure thing!" Chloe nods. "You coming with, Luna?"

That's a good question. I guess if I won't be expected to eat anything… it's a pretty good idea? I mean, I need to do everything in my power to preserve my secret identity. However, even more importantly than that, I have to do everything in my power to preserve my survival. I kind of want to be friends with Castalia anyway, and I don't have any problem with being friends with her friends, and the number-one best way to survive Castalia if my secret gets out is probably for her to not want to kill me in the first place. If the most powerful girl in the world has my back, I suddenly have a pretty good chance against all the Earth Guardians who want my head.

So really, if you think about it, hanging out with my crush is just optimal.

"Okay," I sign, causing Chloe to practically glow with how big her smile gets.

"Awesome! Is there anywhere in particular you want to eat, Castalia?"

"I have always been partial to Italian food," Castalia answers.

"Oh, me too!" Eliza brightens up.

"Are there any good places for that around here?" Chloe asks.

"Yes," Castalia nods. "Follow me."

And so begins my second instance of trailing behind a lovely levitating lady towards an unknown destination. It's a little surreal how well my disguise is working. I know that Antipathy tech is scary advanced and Thea is freakishly good with it, but it's still hard to believe. Then again, the very fact that this is all absurd probably contributes a decent amount to my disguise. Who the hell would draw the connection between Castalia's plump, adorable roommate and the sleek, Antipathy-made murder machine controlled by the Dark Rebellion? They look nothing alike, they act nothing alike, and one of them is obviously a person while the other is obviously not and never will be. 'What if the murderous death-bot secretly had a personality and was infiltrating the local university in a dastardly plot to gain a Bachelor's in Music' is not an idea that will ever naturally form within a person's head.

Still, though. I fought that one girl several times. I watched my master threaten to murder her. Just casually going out to lunch with her feels… kind of wrong.

"So!" Chloe suddenly says, breaking the silence with a single clap of her hands. "Let's get to know each other! What are everyone's plans for college? I haven't totally narrowed down what I want to major in yet, but I was thinking maybe… Sociology?

"I have absolutely no idea," Eliza admits. "I haven't been thinking about it that much."

"You should," Castalia says. "It is important to have an image in mind for the future."

"Well, what's that look like for you, then?" Eliza challenges.

"I may have the opposite problem," Castalia admits. "There are too many things I want to do. I have enjoyed all of my classes."

"Well, as problems go, that's not a terrible one to have!" Chloe says. "What about you, Luna?"

"Music," I sign.

"Music! That's super cool. Do you play an instrument?"

"Kind of," I tell her. I know a few instruments, but I was never any good with any of them. Now that I'm a robot, I can probably get really good with any instrument I want. …I mean, except for like wind or brass instruments. I don't think my artificial breathing is designed for that. "I mainly want to compose."

"Oh, you want to write songs! That's awesome! You should totally let me listen to your music sometime!"

The mere thought of doing something like that back before all of this would have nearly given me a panic attack. I did not think I was a very good composer, and frankly, I was probably right. Not because I had no talent (although I certainly would have told you that was the case), but because it was always such a struggle to do anything in my free time I barely ever got the chance to practice. Now I can just compose music in my own head without needing to worry about ever forgetting any of it, and when I make something I like I can probably boot up composition software on my laptop and plug it all in. Yeah, having anyone else listen to my stuff is definitely going to be mortifying, but I have officially been through worse. I'm stronger now. I can handle it. So I give Chloe an affirmative nod, which she seems delighted by.

We finally make it to the restaurant, Castalia leading us inside. Her feet finally touch the ground for the first time today once we sit down at a table, causing me to lose the mental bet with myself that she would hover slightly above the chair, too. Conversation stalls as everyone peruses the menu, but that's fine by me. I give the food a cursory glance, and while it does look very tasty, that is ultimately one of the human pleasures that I'll never get to experience again. Alas. Conversation resumes once everyone has ordered, though, once again being spurred into action by Chloe's heroic attempts to get two dour child soldiers and a mute girl to actually say something to each other.

"Okay! How about we all say a couple things we like doing?" Chloe tries. "I'll go first. I really like to cook, and I love watching Disney movies."

Yeah, that checks out. She seems like an 'I love to watch Disney movies' kind of girl.

"I enjoy learning new things," Castalia goes next, "and I like to fly."

Wow, really? I wouldn't have guessed.

"I am so jealous about that," Chloe admits.

"I know," Castalia answers. "You should be. It's great."

Oh my god!?

"Flying has always just made me nervous," Eliza admits. "Really useful, though. It's great for staying out of reach from stuff on the ground, but I honestly prefer to walk when I can. Plus, it's more energy efficient."

"It's energy-positive for me," Castalia chimes in, "because it is awesome."

Eliza sighs, rolling her eyes.

"Yellow mages," she grumbles.

"Wow. Just hanging around Eliza was already surreal, but with you guys together it's almost like you live in a totally different world," Chloe comments.

"Oh," Castalia says. "My apologies."

"N-no! I didn't mean it in a bad way!" Chloe insists.

"I mean, we probably shouldn't be talking about it," Eliza sighs. "I've already let more slip to Chloe than I probably should have."

Castalia shrugs her one available shoulder.

"I think that's fine," she says. "It is your life. You are allowed to share it with whomever you choose. I do not believe Uma'tama would tell you otherwise."

Eliza's only response is a noncommittal grunt, the momentum of the conversation thoroughly ground to a halt. But once again, Chloe takes it upon herself to give it another push.

"Well, we kind of skipped past Luna anyway," she says. "What do you like doing, Luna?"

"Video games. Anime. Music, obviously," I sign in answer. "Talking with my best friend online."

"Oh, that's neat. Who's your friend?"

"Bean," I answer, to Chloe's immediate confusion. Which… fair. I didn't spell out their name, I straight up used one of the signs for the vegetable. That's probably not a sign a lot of people bothered to learn. I spell out the name instead.

"Bean…?" Chloe asks, still seeming a little confused. "Is that your friend's name?"

"Bean is N-B," I sign.

"N-B…? Ohhhh," she says. "So it is their name. Got it."

Ha! Okay, cool, she gets it. Officially counting that as a blip on the gaydar. Although… come to think of it, since I physically have empathic hardware that can detect emotions like attraction, I kind of literally have a gaydar, don't I? Hnngh, that somehow feels even more intrusive than the normal empath stuff. I don't know if I'm comfortable with or even able to delete my empathic data before becoming conscious of it, though, since I have to make sure nobody is figuring out my secrets. I guess… hmm. I guess I could just ask about stuff like that. But that's a weird question to ask someone I just met, so I'll get to it later.

"Bean is freaking out about the fact that my roommate is Castalia," I sign. "It's funny."

Chloe chuckles awkwardly.

"Yeah, I bet. If… you don't mind saying with her right here, how are you feeling about that? Sorry if that's awkward, I just… I dunno."

She shrugs, shooting Castalia an apologetic smile. Castalia blinks.

"It is a good question," she says. "I am intimidating."

I soundlessly make the motions of a laugh.

"You are," I confirm, because she literally already knows I was scared of her, there's no point in denying it. "But I hope that when I get to know you, I will not be scared."

Castalia nods. She liked that answer.

"Uh… sorry, I… could someone translate for me?" Eliza asks. "I don't know sign language. I didn't know you knew it either, Chloe."

"I know Spanish, too!" Chloe says happily. "And sure, sorry. Luna says that Castalia is scary but she hopes that won't be the case once they get to know each other."

Eliza smiles at that, nodding at me.

"Yeah, that's how it works in my experience," she admits. "You seem surprisingly chill with the whole 'Earth Guardian' thing."

Uh, do I? Maybe they can't tell I'm freaking out about it. Or… no, that doesn't make any sense.

"What does 'not chill' look like?" I ask, which Chloe helpfully translates.

"Like instinctively retreating when I approach," Castalia answers.

"Or the opposite, like being super overly curious about everything and not leaving us alone," Eliza says.

"Pitying looks are common," Castalia hums.

"Ugh, those are the worst," Eliza groans. "This is why I tried to keep my secret identity mostly intact."

"Apologies," Castalia says again.

"It's fine, it's been shredded for years, I've just been in denial mostly," Eliza sighs. "Anyway, my point is just… I don't know what my point is. That it's nice to meet you, I guess?"

"You too," I sign, and she seems to pick up on the intent… though of course Chloe translates anyway. It's at this point that everyone else's food arrives. I ordered a drink just so I don't look too weird, briefly lifting my mask and pouring the drink into my mouth to get fucking vaporized.

"Is it alright if I ask about the mask?" Eliza says, asking about the mask.

"Immune disorder," I lie, needing to spell it out since Chloe doesn't know the signs. Shame not everyone can keep an entire dictionary of videos in their own brain. "It's not bad but I like to be safe. My jaw and throat are messed up too. Birth defect."

"Which is why you can't talk?"

"Yeah," I answer. Despite recently selling an artifact that supposedly does it, detecting lies with empathy is thankfully pretty difficult. Lying certainly makes a person have certain emotional reactions, especially nervousness and guilt, but there are a lot of reasons a person could feel nervous or guilty, especially when talking about their own disabilities. Different people feel different things when they lie, too. Nanaya seemed pretty confident the Earth Guardians wouldn't be able to pick up on it.

"I assume I get to ask about everyone else's messed up body parts now?" I add on anyway, partly because I'm curious but mostly because I want them distracted. "Fair is fair."

"Uh, I don't know if I have anything permanent," Eliza says awkwardly, rolling her shoulder. "I'm pretty sore most of the time? Sorry, I didn't mean to be insensitive."

"Her brain is her messed-up body part," Chloe sighs. "Sorry, Luna."

Eliza wilts, seeming… genuinely offended? Huh. I thought that was a friendly jab, and apparently Chloe did too because she immediately starts feeling bad.

"I… I didn't mean it like that," Chloe insists. "You know I… sorry."

Awkward silence descends over the table with an almost tangible weight, given the emotional capacity of those involved.

"I lost my arms saving the world," Castalia says bluntly, overwhelming the oppressive atmosphere with all the force of a death ray. "For the second time. Big monster. Would have been bad. Hit me with a beam attack. Teammate pushed me out of the way. She died."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," Chloe breathes.

"S'fine," Castalia says simply. "Was six years ago. Wounds scarred over. They don't hurt too often anymore."

I get the impression that she's not just talking about physical wounds. But… six years ago, huh? That's when the Dark Rebellion was formed. No way that's a coincidence.

"What were your teammates like?" I sign, my curiosity getting the better of me. I hope it's not an insensitive question, but the emotions I feel from Castalia are… not what I expected. It's all surprise at first, like she never expected someone to press her further. Then there's a tinge of grief, though not any more than when she was talking about it herself. And then…

Love.

Overwhelming love.

"They were very good people," Castalia answers me. "Thalia was kind and smart. Melpomene was strong and brave. They always protected me with everything they had. But that swarm was stronger than we expected. I almost died. Thalia did die. And afterwards, Melpomene left. I have not spoken to her in… a long time."

Castalia rips a meatball into chunks with her mind, levitating part of it and a few alfredo noodles into her mouth. She chews thoughtfully for a while before continuing.

"…I hope she is alright. But I believe she is. Thalia was our heart, but she was our rock. She was always pushing us harder, never letting us give up. I would have wasted Thalia's sacrifice, if not for her. I remember her clearly, standing between my broken body and the rest of the horde. Yelling at me. Demanding I stand again. So I did. And we won. And the world was saved once more."

This might have been a bad line of questioning. I can't hold in the wretched feeling in my gut as Castalia praises my slaver. But Castalia presses on, either uncaring or oblivious to my reaction.

"I think she loved the world more than any of us," Castalia admits. "More than me, more than even Thalia. All that love gave her all the more to grieve. She was always in pain, because the world is always in pain, and all our power was never enough to fix it. I miss her terribly. It's almost harder, knowing she's alive. I wish I could tell her I'm sorry."

What would you think of her now, I wonder? How would you feel if you knew what she has become? Fake muscles around my entire body clench in response to my stress, forcing me to put in the effort to get my emotions under control or risk unwanted attention. It's fine. Liking Melpomene isn't a crime, especially for people who don't know. Like Thea. I don't blame Thea for this, so I'm not going to blame Castalia. Besides, I'm free. I'm free.

Thankfully, no one seems to be paying much attention to me. Not while Castalia pours her heart out. Chloe is the first to break the silence following the heroine's words, but even she doesn't have a lot to say.

"Gosh," she whispers. "That's… heavy."

The slightest smile twitches on Castalia's face.

"It's alright," she says. "I am very strong."

"I can't believe your friend would just leave you like that, though," Chloe says. "It sounded like you were close."

"At the time, I would have called us inseparable," Castalia agrees. "I regret taking that for granted."

"What is she even doing now?" Chloe asks.

Beside her, Eliza shudders.

"She's—"

"She is fighting in her own way," Castalia cuts Eliza off. "As she always has, and as I suspect she always will."

"An Earth Guardian to the end, huh?" Chloe says softly, and Castalia nods.

"Always."

The conversation peters out again, the others slowly finishing off their meals. I've already finished my drink, so I go ahead and pull out my phone and bring up the conversation with Bean. I may as well use my phone to message them sometimes, just to give the impression that it's how I always do it.

[LunaLightOTK]: Currently having lunch with Castalia and one of her magical girl friends and one of that friend's friends. They're all pretty nice.

[MeanBeanMachine]: No. You're fucking with me.

Hmm. I tap the table to get people to look at me.

"My friend doesn't believe I'm having lunch with you all," I sign. "Does anyone mind if I take a picture to send to them? I know it's a little weird because you are famous."

"I don't have an issue with it," Chloe says immediately after she finishes translating for me.

"I do not mind," Castalia agrees.

"…I guess it's fine," Eliza allows.

"Thank you," I sign, flipping the phone into selfie mode and turning around to take a picture of all of us. I make a peace sign with my free hand because it just seems like the thing to do. Everyone else smiles, I briefly turn off my arm's artificial human-mimicking error margin to take the perfect shot, and save the photograph. The four of us together, at the start of the new school year. What a wild year it's going to be. I send it off to Bean.

[MeanBeanMachine]: Woah. That really is Castalia. Who are the others?

[LunaLightOTK]: Eliza's on the left, Chloe's next to her, and I'm the one taking the picture.

[MeanBeanMachine]: Wait. Wait. That's… you?

I briefly panic, wondering if I just blew my cover, but… no, of course not. I've never sent Bean a picture of myself before.

Huh. I've… never sent my best friend a picture of myself before.

[MeanBeanMachine]: Oh my god that's you!?!? What the heck, girl! You're adorable!

[LunaLightOTK]: Uh! Thank you!?

[MeanBeanMachine]: Ahhhh I finally get to see you! Gosh I did not expect this. This is awesome. Uhh… I'm not sure if my phone camera still works, give me a second to figure this out.

[LunaLightOTK]: You don't have to reciprocate it!!! Honestly it's fine, I wasn't really thinking about it. I just thought it was a cute photo.

[MeanBeanMachine]: It's an adorable photo! I, uh, wow! I'm guessing you're still a little dysphoric about your face, huh? Because I certainly don't see any reason for you to not be proud of the rest of your body.

I stare at the words, soaking in the creeping realization of how completely out of character this was for me. I'd never have willingly created a photograph of myself when I was human, let alone share it to anyone. Even my best friend. This is… a weird experience. On one hand, it feels good to let my best friend see me for once. On the other hand… I haven't actually done that, have I? Even the skin underneath my facemask is just a slightly more literal facemask. It's mine, certainly. Maybe it's even me. But it still hides the truth.

Maybe that's okay, though. Maybe I should just get to enjoy this.

[LunaLightOTK]: I guess if there's one advantage to being forced off the grid for a few months it's that it did wonders for my body positivity.

[MeanBeanMachine]: Magical girl transformation.

[LunaLightOTK]: No.

[MeanBeanMachine]: Lovely Warrior Adorable Luna!

[LunaLightOTK]: No!

My transformation stone thrums in my chest. That's not what my name would be. But I guess on some level, it's probably best that I never find out what it is. I glance up at Castalia and Eliza, arguing with a very obstinate Chloe over whether or not she should be allowed to pay for the entire check.

They really are nice people. But if I ever transform… it probably means I'm about to fight them to the death.