Loyal Lies

I sat in the familiar leather armchair in Dr. Bennett's office, the afternoon sun casting long shadows across the carpeted floor. The past few weeks had been a whirlwind of exams, graduation preparations, and awkward moments with Silas. My mind kept drifting back to that evening, replaying every word and every gesture.

Dr. Bennett sat across from me, her kind eyes studying my distracted expression. "You seem preoccupied today, Aurora. Would you like to talk about what's on your mind?"

I took a deep breath. "I did something really stupid."

"Oh?" She adjusted her glasses before leaning forward slightly.

"I... I confessed to Silas." The words came out in a rush. "It wasn't planned. We had just come back from my friend's house after this whole incident with his mother, and I was worried that Silas might have gotten the wrong idea about my friend and me, and then he said something about duty and I just... I couldn't take it anymore."

"Tell me what happened."

"He said that he has no right to meddle with my personal relationships because his only job is to serve me. Those words hurt more than any rejection could have."

Dr. Bennett tilted her head. "Why do you think that hurt so much?"

"Because..." I swallowed hard, "because he reduced everything between us to just a job. All those moments I thought were special, the way he remembers exactly how I like my tea, how he can tell when I'm having a bad day just by looking at me, and the gentle way he wakes me up in the morning. He made it sound like it was all just... professional obligation."

"And what happened after he said that?"

"I snapped. I asked him if everything was just duty to him. And then I... I told him I cared about him. That I wanted him to care about me too, not because it's his job, but because..." I could feel my cheeks warm at the memory.

"Because?"

"Because it's me," I whispered. "Just me. Not his employer, not the Aurora Miller. Just Aurora."

"And how did he respond to that?"

"That's the confusing part. He came to my room after I ran away embarrassed. He said something about timing, about how I needed to focus on my studies and become the person I'm meant to be. He told me to trust him, that he'd take care of everything." I wrapped my arms around myself. "Then he kissed my hand and left. Just like that."

"So you're saying that you accidentally confessed to your butler and he seemed to accept it but at the same time rejected you, citing boundaries?"

"Yes, and it's driving me crazy," I groaned and sinked deeper into the chair. "He's still exactly the same. Always perfectly composed, attentive, caring. But now there's this... invisible line he keeps drawing between us."

Dr. Bennett nodded thoughtfully. "And how has this affected your daily interactions?"

"I'm a mess," I admitted. "I overthink everything. This morning, he brought me coffee and our fingers brushed. I nearly jumped out of my skin, while he acted like nothing happened. He just smiled and started listing my schedule for the day."

"Has it affected your studies?"

"Actually, no. I threw myself into exam preparations. Maybe that's what he wanted." I let out a small laugh. "I even topped most of my finals."

"Perhaps Silas knew what he was talking about when he emphasized focusing on your studies," Dr. Bennett suggested.

"But that's just it," I sat up straighter. "He said I need to become the person I'm meant to be. He doesn't even know what I want to be."

"And what do you want, Aurora?"

I turned back to her. "You know my dream.

That little cottage in the countryside, away from all this." I gestured vaguely at the city skyline visible through the window. "Growing my own garden, and maybe raising some animals. Living simply."

"But?"

"But that's just a dream, isn't it? Reality is that I'll inherit the company. I'll be stuck in board meetings and business dinners, living the life that's been planned out for me since birth." I pulled my knees up to my chest, making myself smaller in the large armchair. "Besides that... I don't really know what I want. Everyone's asking about my plans after graduation, and all I can think about is that cottage that will never exist."

"Have you shared these thoughts with Silas?"

I shook my head. "How can I? He probably expects me to have some grand ambition. 'The person I'm meant to be', that sounds like someone important, someone with big dreams. Not someone who wants to escape to the countryside and grow tomatoes." I rubbed my arms, trying to push away the unease creeping in. "And I can't shake this feeling that he'll leave as soon as I graduate, like he was only here to protect me until I could finally stand on my own."

Dr. Bennett leaned forward. "And that scares you?"

"Terrifies me. I know I'm supposed to be focusing on my future, on becoming this person he thinks I should be but how can I when the thought of him not being there makes me feel like I can't breathe?"

"Have you considered that Silas's emphasis on your studies and future isn't about rejecting your feelings, but about ensuring you have the freedom to make your own choices?"

I looked up to her. Confused.

"Think about it. If you were to pursue something with him now, while he's in your employment, how many people would question whether your achievements were truly your own? Whether your choices were truly independent?"

The realization hit me like a wave. "You think he's protecting my reputation?"

"I think," she answered gently, "that someone who cares enough to maintain boundaries despite their own feelings might be thinking more about your future than you realize."

The clock ticked steadily in the background as I processed her words.

"So what should I do?"

"What do you want to do?"

I straightened up, suddenly certain. "I want to prove to him that I can be the person I want to be, not just the person everyone expects me to be."

Dr. Bennett smiled. "Then perhaps that's exactly what he's been waiting for."