Lovesick_

Later that week, Preston was walking through the hallways, heading to band practice, when he saw something that made him pause. It was Jordan, his younger brother, standing by the lockers, looking at his phone with a frown on his face. The sight of Jordan always brought a sense of calm to Preston he was so much younger, yet there was something about him that made everything seem simpler.

Preston walked over and clapped Jordan on the shoulder. "What's up, kid?"

Jordan looked up with a surprised grin, his eyes lighting up when he saw his brother. "Hey, I didn't see you there. Just... you know, trying to figure out this dumb math homework."

Preston smiled faintly. "Let me guess parentheses and exponents got you stuck again?"

Jordan rolled his eyes dramatically. "Of course. Why is math always like a secret code that nobody tells you how to break?"

"Because math hates you, man," Preston teased, nudging him lightly with his elbow. "But if you want, I can help. I've got an hour before practice, so we can knock out a few problems."

"Really?" Jordan's face lit up. "That would be awesome. Thanks, bro."

They sat down in the hallway, and Preston helped Jordan with his homework, their conversation slipping easily from one topic to the next. For a while, Preston could forget everything else the hurt, the questions, the uncertainty and just be present with his brother. There was something so pure about those moments when Jordan looked at him with admiration, like Preston had all the answers. It was comforting.

Eventually, their time together ended when Preston had to rush off to practice. But as he stood up, he ruffled Jordan's hair and smiled.

"You've got this, bro," he said, and for the first time in a long time, he believed it about Jordan, and about himself, too.

The next day, Preston found himself at his locker, waiting for the bell to ring. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out to see a message from Chris:

Chris: "Hey, man. Want to grab some food after school? We could hit up that new burger place."

Preston hesitated for a moment. It wasn't that he didn't want to go; it was just that he wasn't sure if he was ready to face the world outside of his small circle. But then he remembered what Chris had said about letting himself breathe, and he realized that maybe a change of scenery would be good.

He quickly typed back: "Yeah, sure. Sounds good."

When they met up after school, Chris was already waiting outside, leaning against his car with a grin on his face. "Took you long enough," he joked as Preston approached.

"Had to finish a few things," Preston replied, giving him a playful shove.

The two of them drove to the new burger place, a little hole-in-the-wall joint that was packed with people. As they sat down and started eating, the conversation shifted from casual banter to something a little more personal.

"You know," Chris began between bites of his burger, "I get why you've been pulling away. Losing someone you thought you'd have forever... it messes you up. But it's okay to not have it all together."

Preston stared at his burger, the words feeling both comforting and painful at the same time. "Yeah, I know. It's just hard, you know? I thought I was doing the right thing by walking away, but now I feel... lost. Like I'm trying to find myself again, but I don't know where to start."

Chris nodded, his expression thoughtful. "Start with the small things. Don't try to find yourself all at once. You've got time to figure it out."

Preston took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words sink in. "You're right. I've been so focused on fixing everything that I forgot it's okay to take things slow."

"Exactly," Chris said, offering him a reassuring smile. "Just take it one day at a time."

One evening, after a particularly intense band rehearsal, Preston found himself sitting on the bleachers in the empty gym, catching his breath. He had played harder than usual, trying to work through the frustration building up inside him. His trombone had never felt heavier, but it also felt like the only thing that could help him channel all the noise in his mind into something productive.

Chris appeared beside him, sitting down without a word, as though he knew exactly what Preston needed. They sat in silence for a while, the only sound the distant murmur of other students leaving the school.

Finally, Chris spoke, his voice quieter than usual. "You know, I used to think the way through stuff was to just keep busy. But sometimes... you have to let yourself feel it."

Preston didn't look at him immediately, but the weight of Chris's words hung in the air between them. He finally exhaled, the tension in his chest loosening just a little.

"I don't know if I'm ready to feel it," Preston admitted, his voice strained. "I've been trying to keep it together, but it feels like there's this weight I can't get rid of."

Chris nodded, offering a comforting presence without rushing to fix things. "You don't have to rush through it. Take your time, man. Things don't just get better because you want them to."

Preston let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. "It's just so confusing, you know? One minute, I feel fine, and the next... I feel like everything's falling apart again."

Chris smiled slightly. "That's part of it. But you don't have to do it alone. You've got me and the band, and we've got your back."

There was something about Chris's honesty that made Preston feel a little lighter. He wasn't sure what the future held, or when he'd feel whole again, but for the first time in a while, he didn't feel like he was carrying the burden by himself.

A few days later, as Preston was heading home from school, he noticed Jordan waiting for him by the front door, a big grin on his face.

"Hey, bro!" Jordan called, waving him over. "I've been meaning to ask you... how was practice today?"

Preston couldn't help but smile at the sight of his younger brother, always so full of energy. "It was fine. Just... another day of trombone."

Jordan raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced by Preston's nonchalant tone. "Come on, you're always more excited about practice than that. What's going on?"

Preston sighed, not sure how to explain everything that had been going on in his head. "I don't know, Jordan. It's just... a lot. I'm still trying to figure stuff out."

Jordan didn't push him further, but there was an understanding in his eyes that made Preston feel like he could be open with him. He ruffled his brother's hair affectionately. "Thanks, little man."

"Anytime, big bro," Jordan replied with a wink, before adding, "And if you need to vent about anything, I'm always around."

Preston chuckled softly. "I might take you up on that."

As weeks passed, Preston began to settle into a new rhythm. He found himself laughing more, hanging out with Chris and Jordan, and finding solace in the small, everyday moments. But it wasn't all smooth sailing. There were still days when the pain would catch him off guard when he would hear a song that reminded him of Karma, or see something that made him think of the life he'd thought he would have with her.

But each time, he was learning how to navigate it how to sit with the discomfort and not let it control him. He knew the healing process wasn't linear. There would be ups and downs, and sometimes, it would feel like progress was slipping away. But through it all, he was beginning to understand that healing wasn't about erasing the pain it was about learning how to live with it, to allow it to shape him without defining him.

One afternoon, Chris and Preston were sitting outside after school, sipping on sodas as they talked about everything and nothing at the same time. Chris was telling Preston about some new music he had discovered, but Preston wasn't really listening. His mind was drifting again, but this time, it wasn't in a bad way it was more like he was just letting his thoughts float.

"You know," Preston began, his voice thoughtful, "I don't think I've really taken the time to think about what I want. I've been so focused on what I've lost, that I haven't figured out what I want to gain."

Chris looked over at him, sensing the change in Preston's tone. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know," Preston said, shrugging. "Maybe... I want to actually enjoy the things that make me happy again. Spend more time with people who care. Do the things I love without feeling guilty about it. It sounds simple, but I think I've been complicating everything."

Chris smiled, clearly proud of him. "That sounds like a good plan. And hey, if you ever need a reminder of why you're awesome, I'm always around."

Preston grinned. "Yeah, I know. You're not getting rid of me anytime soon.

It was a few weeks after Preston's breakthrough moment with Chris when things started to take another unexpected turn. Preston had been spending a lot of time with his friends lately, including Jay, who had been growing closer to him ever since that conversation on the bleachers. They'd been hanging out more after school, grabbing food or just talking about random things nothing too serious, but enough to keep the atmosphere light and comforting. One morning while Preston was getting dressed for school he got a text from Jay:

Jay: "Yo Preston"

Preston: "Wsup"

Jay: "Can we meet up before band practice I need to tell you something"

Preston: "Damn fr sure bro I'll be there"

Jay: Alr thanks cya

Preston couldn't help but feel a little uneasy as he read Jay's message. It wasn't like Jay to ask to meet up before band practice, and the "I need to tell you something" part only made Preston's curiosity grow. He quickly finished getting dressed, grabbed his trombone, and headed out to meet Jay, his mind racing with possibilities.

The rest of the school day dragged on. Classes felt like they stretched endlessly, each period passing by in a haze. Every time Preston thought he could focus on something—math, history, whatever—the image of Jay's face kept creeping into his mind. The weight of their conversation, the rejection, the fact that things would be different now, it lingered over him like a dark cloud.

He found himself walking to lunch in a daze, mindlessly taking his usual seat at the table with Chris and a few other bandmates. But he wasn't really there. Not in the way he should've been. His thoughts kept spiraling back to the conversation with Jay, to how distant his friend had seemed since that morning. Had he hurt him more than he realized? Had Jay thought they could still be friends in the same way? Preston had no answers, and that uncertainty gnawed at him.

Chris noticed Preston's distraction. "Dude, you okay?" he asked, eyeing Preston as he absentmindedly poked at his food.

Preston blinked, pulled from his thoughts. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," he muttered, forcing a smile. But Chris wasn't buying it.

"Uh-huh. Sure you are." Chris raised an eyebrow. "If something's on your mind, you know you can talk about it."

Preston hesitated, but then he sighed. "It's just… Jay, man. We talked this morning, and I don't know, I think I really messed things up. He… he told me he likes me. More than as a friend. And I told him I didn't feel the same way."

Chris frowned, leaning back in his chair. "That's rough. But you were honest, right? That's all you can do."

Preston nodded, but the guilt didn't fade. He couldn't shake the thought of how it felt to see Jay's face fall when he rejected him. "I just—I don't know how to fix this. Things felt so different after that. It's like, I can tell he's not the same around me anymore."

"Man, it'll be okay. You guys are friends, and friends don't just stop being friends because of one conversation," Chris said, trying to reassure him.

"I hope you're right," Preston muttered, his thoughts still with Jay.

The rest of lunch passed without much being said. Preston forced himself to focus on the food in front of him, the conversation around him, but his mind kept drifting back to Jay. He couldn't keep ignoring it. He had to face his friend. He had to talk to him.

After school, when the bell rang and students poured out of the classrooms, Preston found himself walking in the direction of Jay's usual hangout spot by the lockers near the back of the school. He didn't know what he was going to say, but he knew he couldn't just let things stay the way they were.

When Preston turned the corner and saw that Jay wasn't there yet, he let out a slow breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. The absence gave him a few moments to gather his thoughts, but it also let his nerves catch up with him. What if Jay wasn't planning to show up? What if he'd decided the conversation wasn't worth it?

Preston leaned against the lockers, clutching the strap of his backpack and staring at the ground. The faint hum of students talking and lockers slamming echoed in the hallway, but it all felt distant. A few minutes passed before he heard footsteps approaching. When he looked up, he saw Jay rounding the corner, his expression unreadable. Jay spotted Preston almost immediately, his pace slowing as their eyes met. Preston gave him a small nod, unsure how else to start.

"Bro where the fuck have you been," Preston said

"My bad man I had to finish an APUSH test" 

"Oh ok, so what did you want to talk about?" he asked

"Ok so...I think I like you," Jay said scared for his reply 

Preston looked at him for a while then eventually said "Like me as in..."

"Preston I love you," he said blushing 

Preston looked around to make sure no one heard "You what?"

"I love you, like so much"

He was silent for a minute "How long you felt like this for?"

"About 2 months," Jay said

"2 months?!" he looked shocked "You been hiding this for 2 months?" he had a look of disbelief on his face.

"Yeah"

"Damn, bro... you hid this for 2 months, man..." he sighed looking away from Jay "I'm not even sure what to say to the man"

"So you don't feel the same way?"

"I..." he was silent for a moment "I'm sorry man I don't feel the same I'm not gay" Preston looked at him and saw his sad look and he felt bad.

Jay kisses him as tears fall down his face Preston was shocked as he saw tears come down his face.

"Jay...." he didn't even back away.

The kiss lasted a while "I'm sorry idk what happened"

"No don't be sorry..." he felt like he was the bad guy now

"Well band practice is about to start and we still need to get dressed"

"Yeah... we should go now"

He was nervous and anxious about how he was gonna talk to him now knowing he has feelings for him that he doesn't feel back. He followed him to the band room

During practice, Jay started to tear up while looking over at Preston

He glances over at him while playing and he could tell he was upset which made him feel worse cause now he really felt like the bad guy. Knowing now that Jay liked him felt strange and he wasn't sure how to feel. His eyes darted away from him even now and then making brief eye contact while they played.

They had a game today and things just kept getting weird between them

Preston couldn't help but feel weird whenever he looked at him since he knew he felt something toward him that he didn't really return. It all felt strange and he knew they would have to talk about it and he didn't feel ready for it. But he didn't speak up about it instead he just kept playing through the football game they had and did his job.

After the game there was dinner and they ended up sitting next to each other

Preston sat down at the table next to him and looked at his plate for a moment as his stomach was doing weird nervous flips. He then looked at Jay and spoke to him in a rather timid tone

"Look man we gotta talk..."

"About?"

He took a deep breath in "About what happened... Like what you said before practice man..."

"What about it?" Jay asked 

"I.." He sighed "You know...You know how you said you're like in love with me man and I told you I don't feel the same way and stuff...you understand that right? His voice sounded uncertain as if he was unsure if he actually didn't like him too or just confused about his feelings"

"Yeah"

"I just...l feel like we should talk about it, man. Cause I don't want what we have between our friendship to change because you have feelings for me and I don't feel the same way. I don't want things between us to be awkward now. Like I'm fine with you liking me I would just rather that we stay as friends. I'm sorry..."

"Maybe could you think about it"

He looked at him "Yeah..." He nodded "I'll think about it..."

it was quiet between them for a while until Preston kissed Jacob randomly while they were alone in the band room

He looked up and saw they were alone and he took a deep breath in. He looked at Jacob and went for it and planted a gentle kiss on his lips

His heart was beating rather fast inside his chest because he just kissed him..

Jay kisses back and they fall on the floor with Preston on top of him pinning Jay the ground

He pulled away from the kiss and looked down at him. The position they both were in now made him blush as he was on top of him on the floor of the band room right now

Jay kisses back again

He didn't resist and kissed him back once again. His heartbeat was fast as he was laying on top of him on the floor of the floor of the band room now. He was kissing his best friend and in his mind, it was all new to him.