Lost

“I could record everything from start to finish while I’m working and upload it. If you want, Sunbae, I could record 24 hours a day, not just while I’m working. I can do that, but it might be a bit difficult for you, so I won’t ask for that much. So, please just listen to me until we recover your memories.”Why? And why you? I took a step back as I looked at Jung Woojin, who was staring at me with pleading eyes. It was an almost instinctive reaction.“Sunbae, just until you get your memory back.”When I stepped back, Jung Woojin glanced down and stared at the ground near my feet. Standing there like a statue, staring at my feet, he looked back up at me when I didn’t respond.“I might die worrying about you.”“…You call that worrying?”When I opened my mouth, my voice came out cracked. Jung Woojin reached out and touched my forehead. I flinched, and his hand slowly moved down from my forehead to cup my cheek.“You have a bit of a fever. You’ve barely been outside, so how did you catch a fever? Come here for now.”“Wait, hey. Jung Woo…”“…”“…”Jung Woojin stopped in his tracks and looked at me. His gaze was sharp, almost like a blade. I quickly corrected myself.“Woojin.”“Yes.”“…I’m really grateful to you, but sometimes you overwhelm me to the point where I feel like I might die.”Even the word “overwhelmed” was a toned-down way of putting it. It was more than that; there were times when I felt creeped out. I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or joking.“Don’t be burdened by it. It’s just because of all the things Sunbae did for me when I was younger.”“What? Me? When I was younger? For you? I did things like this to you? Like telling you to have your text messages checked before sending them?”When I got worked up, Jung Woojin slowly nodded.“Well, something like that.”“…”I felt despair. Had I been crazy back then?“I won’t be able to go outside for a while. It’s too late today, so I’ll call a doctor tomorrow. Is there anywhere else that hurts?”“…”“Sunbae, can’t you walk? Should I carry you?”It seemed like Jung Woojin was ready to carry me like a princess. I quickly waved my hands in refusal.“No, I can walk.”Suddenly, I started to fear the idea of regaining my memories.＊＊＊I spent time doing nothing, without even going outside. My sense of time dulled, and I often mixed up day and night. Jung Woojin sometimes left for work, but he would call the house every hour. If I didn’t answer, he would keep calling until I did. Once, I fell asleep in the bathtub with hot water running, and I woke up to a loud noise. Jung Woojin, who had been out working, rushed home as if he was about to die, panting heavily. He didn’t scold me. He just told me to get out quickly before I caught a cold, dried my hair for me, and then went back to work. Of course, his phone had been ringing off the hook during that time.Things had gotten to the point where I felt like I was going to develop a neurosis. The sound of the phone ringing made my heart race, and if I didn’t answer quickly, I felt like Jung Woojin would come running back, which gave me a headache. Not being able to answer the phone once shouldn’t have been a big deal, but whenever I missed a call, I felt like I had done something terribly wrong. On the other hand, if an hour passed without him calling, I started to worry.— I think I’ll be home late tonight.“Take your time.”— Did you eat?“I did.”— What did you eat?“The food you made this morning.”— I had a sandwich today.

“You need to eat real food, are you okay with just that?”— I’m starving right now. I just want to go home quickly.Jung Woojin whined like a child throwing a tantrum. I knew, of course, that my relationship with Jung Woojin was more than a little strange. But there wasn’t much I could do about it. The only person I knew, and who knew me, was Jung Woojin. Without him, I had no idea how to manage. Every day, I told myself I would finally straighten out this weird relationship, but when I saw him, I found myself thinking, “Is it really that bad?” The more time passed, the more I rationalized that our relationship was just a typical one between a senior and junior.— What are you doing now?“Just… reading a book.”— What book? The one I bought for you?“I have amnesia, not a case of regression to childhood, you know?”A few days ago, Jung Woojin had brought over a full set of children’s books, insisting I read them. The 60-volume collection was still piled up in the corner of the living room.— I want to go home.“You have work to do.”— Should I just quit? It’s not like I’m doing it because I enjoy it.“Didn’t your mother ask you to do this?”— Well, yeah, but… Ah, hold on. Sunbae, I have to go. Don’t skip any meals, make sure to eat, and if you need to go out, call me first. If someone calls from a different number, don’t answer it, and don’t fall asleep in the bathtub again.“Okay, go quickly.”— Sunbae.“What?”There was a brief sound of breathing on the other end of the phone. I blinked in the silence until I heard a quiet voice.— I miss you.“…”This doesn’t seem like a normal senior-junior relationship. But then again, maybe Jung Woojin is just unusually unique. After all, “I miss you” isn’t something only couples say to each other. Ignoring the alarms blaring in my head, I forced a laugh.“We saw each other this morning.”— But it’s been five hours.“Enough. Just go. Isn’t someone calling for you right now?”I could faintly hear a sharp voice calling for Jung Woojin in the background, echoing like a distant cry. Despite the repeated calls, Jung Woojin didn’t respond even once.— Can you hear that?“Of course I can.”— Next time, I should take the call outside.“Whatever, just go. That person’s voice is about to burst.”— Got it. I’ll come straight home when I’m done, so just wait a little longer, okay?When I quietly replied that I understood, I heard a small, strange sound from the other end of the phone. After hanging up, I stood there for a while. The sound felt suspiciously like Jung Woojin had kissed the phone. This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, but I shook my head in denial. Jung Woojin was really odd and unusual. Whether that was true, or just what I wanted to believe, I wasn’t sure.I put the phone down and stood there, dazed, for a long time.My memories hadn’t returned, not even a little. It felt like they might never come back at all. Am I just going to keep living like this? I should try mentioning to him about returning to school after a few more days. Or maybe I should look for some simple work to do. Staying home like this much longer felt like a recipe for disaster.Then, I had another thought. Why was I seeking Jung Woojin’s permission for what I wanted to do?“…Ah.”I didn’t know. I shook my head vigorously and collapsed onto the bed.＊ ＊ ＊I tossed and turned before slowly opening my eyes. It was dark all around. It seemed the sun had set without me noticing. My whole body was drenched in sweat, so I must have had another nightmare. But as usual, I couldn’t remember what the nightmare was about. This happened so often now that I didn’t bother worrying about it anymore.I blinked and turned over. It seemed Jung Woojin hadn’t come home yet.“…”I’m thirsty. My head hurts, and my body feels heavy.While lying there with my eyes closed, my mind wandered, but something felt off. I opened my eyes wide and sat up abruptly. When I lifted the thin blanket, I saw that between my legs was bulging. Muttering a curse under my breath, I sluggishly made my way to the bathroom. Could it be that the dream I don’t remember wasn’t a nightmare, but an erotic dream? Or maybe it was just that since I hadn’t relieved myself since leaving the hospital, it was about time for this to happen.The bathroom lit up brightly as I turned on the light. Squinting at the brightness, I sluggishly moved further inside. I felt uncomfortable—sticky, and most of all, annoyed.Suddenly, I laughed. At least I should be thankful that I hadn’t forgotten how to masturbate. If I had lost that memory, just like I forgot how to use the door lock or phone, it would’ve been awful. My head felt fuzzy, like I was drunk. I still wasn’t fully awake. Half-opening my eyes, I sat on the edge of the bathtub and pulled down my pants. A heated breath escaped my lips naturally.My eyes are still dazzled. Did I sleep too long, or did I cry in my sleep? I don’t know why my eyes sting so much.“Damn it.”The curse slipped out as soon as I grabbed my genitals. My hand was too cold. I bit my lip and tilted my head back. Should I wash up with hot water? Maybe I should just take care of it while showering. Ugh, but I’m too lazy. What should I do? My hand is just too cold.After debating for a moment, I decided to run a bath. Slowly, I took off my clothes and dipped my hand into the half-filled tub. I perched on the edge of the bathtub, legs slightly apart, facing outward. All I could think about was finishing quickly and getting cleaned up.I gradually increased the speed of my hand. The faster I moved, the more breathless I became, and my chest began to heave. My eyes were still stinging, so I kept them closed, focusing solely on the motion.“Ugh… ah, ha.”Something was wrong. No matter how much I moved or cursed, I wasn’t getting any reaction from my half-erect penis. No semen was coming out, only precum was dripping. It felt like the pleasure was building up inside me without any release, as if it had nowhere to go. The more I continued, the filthier I felt, and what was even worse was the itching sensation in my chest.My shoulders hunched up, and I bit my lip, exhaling as my other hand brushed across my chest. The action was almost instinctual.“Mm.”The moment my lukewarm fingers touched my chest, my back arched. I almost fell backward into the tub. Startled, I pulled my hand away. Pre-ejaculate was still oozing from my half-erect penis. With a bewildered expression, I looked at my rigid erection, then slowly placed my hand back on my chest.“Ahh…”This is so fucking…My hand moved on its own. I frantically stroked my penis with one hand while touching my chest with the other. I squeezed and pinched, even pushed up my chest, but instead of feeling pain, stars danced before my eyes. My half-erect penis was now standing stiff, as if it was ready to burst.Just a little more… just a little more…“Ugh, ah! Ahh…”The hand on my chest slipped down. The hand that had been wandering near my navel traced along my stiff penis and reached my pelvis. My hand didn’t feel like my own. The fingers that had been wandering near my pelvis slowly moved toward my buttocks. When they brushed against my tailbone, my body shuddered.“…!”What the hell am I doing?Startled, I lowered my head and opened my eyes that had been tightly shut.“…”“…”I locked eyes with Jung Woojin, who was leaning against the door, watching me.“…”“…”Jung Woojin stood there with his arms crossed, leaning against the door, expressionless. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking behind that ghostly face. Staring at him in a daze, I snapped out of it and jumped up from the tub. Flustered, I fumbled for the pants I had tossed aside earlier and stammered.“Why are you here…? No, what about work, uh, how long have you been…”I picked up the pants I had thrown to the side, but no matter how much I turned them around, I couldn’t find where to put my legs. Panicked, I couldn’t do anything but flounder, eventually using the pants to cover myself.“I’ve been here since you cursed.”“What?!”When I shouted back in shock, Jung Woojin straightened up from where he had been leaning against the door.“I’ve been here since you cursed.”Damn it, so from the very beginning… I felt the blood drain from my face. Trying to figure out how to navigate this awkward situation, I started to wipe my face with my hand, only to freeze. Both my palms were covered in the pre-ejaculate from earlier. My face turned pale as I tried to hide my hands behind my back, almost dropping the pants I was holding in front of me.At that moment, Jung Woojin began walking toward me with steady strides. I stepped back, but there was nowhere to run, the bathtub blocking my path. He was suddenly right in front of me, glancing at the pants I was using to cover myself.“Can’t do it?”“What? No, get out. Hey, I, I…”“Sunbae, you can’t move forward.”“Ah!”Jung Woojin swiftly grabbed the pants I was using to cover myself and tossed them behind him. It happened so fast that I couldn’t stop it, leaving me completely naked in an instant. A sudden chill ran through me, making me shiver, but Jung Woojin didn’t seem to care at all as he pressed down on my shoulders, forcing me back onto the edge of the tub. I struggled to get up, but it was no use.“Let go of me!”“Just wait a moment.”“Hey! Damn it, let go! Let go…!”Jung Woojin lifted the hand that wasn’t holding down my shoulder and put it into his mouth. As I watched in disbelief, he began to suck on his fingers, licking them with his tongue. My mouth hung open in shock. Kneeling in front of me, seemingly unconcerned that his pants might get dirty, Jung Woojin looked up at me with his dark eyes. When he pulled the now wet fingers out of his mouth, a long strand of saliva stretched between them.“What… what are you…”“Watch closely how it’s done.”“What, no, stop, I don’t want…”His wet fingers pressed firmly between my buttocks. I flinched in surprise, and Jung Woojin used the hand on my shoulder to pull me closer by the back of my neck. My back arched forward, making it easier for his fingers to enter. Jung Woojin then pressed his lips to my trembling chin.“I’ll show you…”“Ah…!”His fingernails dug into me.“First, you need to wet your fingers. If you just shove them in, it’ll hurt…”“Don’t… damn it… ah!”“If you have lube, you can use that instead. But Sunbae, you’re so tight down here that if you don’t loosen up, you’ll tear easily.”“Ugh…”One finger was already inside. The strange sensation made me shake my head involuntarily.“Start with just one finger… Sunbae, are you listening?”“I’m not… damn it… I’m not gay… ugh!”The finger inside bent. I started to sweat. Before I knew it, I was clinging to Jung Woojin as if he were a lifeline.“Sunbae’s not gay.”“Fuck… just take it out… it’s… disgusting…”“It’s just that you really like doing it here.”“Ah!”The inside was scraped as he pressed in deeply. I shuddered as if I would collapse backward, and Jung Woojin caught me.“Once you’re a little loosened up, you can add another finger…”“Don’t… Jung Woojin, stop, don’t… ah!”“Adding one more… you have to go slowly. Like I said, Sunbae, you’re really tight here.”“You bastard… I… ugh!”“Even with just two fingers, it’s already a tight fit. You’re squeezing down hard.”Heat seemed to radiate from inside me. It was so hot that I felt like I might die. The sensation of his fingers inside was so vivid that I couldn’t control my body.“Once you calm down a bit, start moving slowly. Bend and straighten them, like this… Slowly in and out, like this.”“Ugh, ahhh! Ah…!”“When it starts feeling better, then here…”“Ahhh!”When the tips of his fingers rubbed against a certain spot, stars exploded in front of my eyes. It was similar to the sensation I felt earlier when I pinched my nipples, but this was much more intense.“Here. This is where Sunbae feels it.”“Don’t… stop, ah, mm!”“If you press here… see? You’re swelling up like you’re about to burst. It’s different from when you were just stroking your cock earlier, right?”“Hic…”Jung Woojin wrapped his hand around my penis. As his long, pale fingers stroked along it and scraped the head, I threw my head back and came. It took me a moment to realize I was ejaculating.“Ah… ahh…”My body trembled as I ejaculated, and then the fingers tightly filling my anus slipped out. As I gasped for air, Jung Woojin grabbed my wrist with his wet hand and bent it back. Then he guided my hand to my backside, pressing my fingers against it.“Now, try it yourself.”“…What?”Through blurry vision, I saw Jung Woojin licking his lips.“It’s still hard. If you go one more round, it might settle down.”I slowly lowered my head. My penis, still erect and covered in thick semen, stood rigid.“Hurry up.”Jung Woojin urged me. As if under a spell, I pressed my fingers against where his had been moments before. And then, with a slow, deliberate push, I slid one finger inside. I couldn’t even make a sound, only inhaling sharply.Each time I moved my hand, the squelching sound echoed around the room. I was jerking my semen-coated penis with one hand, while the other was busy prodding my anus. Watching me masturbate on my own, Jung Woojin seemed to encourage me, pressing his lips to my eyes, forehead, cheeks, and then my lips.“Now try adding one more finger.”“Ugh… Ahh, ah!”“Did you put it in?”“Ahh… I can’t… I can’t do it…!”Jung Woojin placed his hand over my trembling one. He lifted my hand, which had been stroking my penis, and licked it, even though it was covered in sticky semen.“You can do it. Try inserting it slowly. I already loosened you up earlier.”“Ah… Ahh, ugh. Ah, ugh…!”My mind went blank. I couldn’t think of anything. Only the gentle voice echoing in my ears kept me moving. Following Jung Woojin’s instructions, I tried inserting another finger into my tight entrance. I managed to get it halfway in, but it wouldn’t go any further. I trembled as I held my breath, and Jung Woojin gently stroked my back.“Breathe.”“Hah…”Oddly, his voice made it easier to breathe. Panting, I mustered the strength to continue. It took a long time, but eventually, both fingers slid fully inside. As they did, Jung Woojin waited patiently, and when my fingers were finally in, he whispered while kissing my forehead.“Well done.”“Hah… ahh…”“Do you remember where I touched earlier?”“No… I don’t want to… Stop… just… please…”“You need to touch there if you want to finish.”“I can’t…”“Sunbae, are you planning not to masturbate when I’m not around? If you want to do it alone, you need to practice now.”As I hunched my shoulders, Jung Woojin kissed the back of my hand again. He licked all the semen off my hand and then kissed the palm deeply.“Try moving your fingers. You can go slowly.”“No, I don’t want to, I can’t do this, I can’t…!”As I tried to pull my fingers out while trembling, Jung Woojin wrapped his arms around my waist and stroked around my anus where my fingers were. I flinched, and Jung Woojin began to rub his fingers against my tightly stretched hole.“What are you… Stop, wait, I don’t want…!”“Shh. It’s okay, Sunbae…”“No, no, I don’t want to, ahhh!”My anus, which I thought couldn’t stretch any further, began to open again. My fingers inside were now joined by his long fingers. As I began to collapse forward, Jung Woojin supported me and started moving his fingers slowly.“Move your fingers like I’m moving mine.”“Ahh… ahh… It hurts, it hurts, ah… It hurts, stop, ah…!”“It doesn’t hurt. You’re fully loosened up now; it’s soft. It’s okay, so try moving slowly.”In the end, I buried my face in his shoulder and cried as I slowly moved my fingers. His fingers, which were probing inside, brushed against mine. When they gently wrapped around my fingers and bent them, my back twitched.The wet, squelching sound filled my head.“Ugh, ah… ah, no, not there, ugh.”“Do you like it here?”“Hic!”“Sunbae, do you like it here?”“Ah… ahh, ugh. Ahh… ugh, ugh!”I felt like I was going to die. My entire body was so hypersensitive that even the gentle strokes of his hand on my back made my skin tingle. I could barely hear what Jung Woojin was saying anymore. Entranced by the squelching sound, I kept moving my fingers until Jung Woojin bit my ear. He bit lightly, then slid his tongue into my ear and licked it. Then he whispered softly.“Sunbae, you’re cumming right now.”It was only then that I realized I was cumming from behind without even touching my cock.＊＊＊After cumming twice, I was completely drained. Jung Woojin held me as I struggled to keep myself upright, soothingly stroking my back for a long time. Once my breathing calmed and my hazy vision started to clear, I just stared blankly into space with my mouth agape. Jung Woojin, who was still holding me, slowly lowered his hand and stroked my buttocks. The sensation made me furrow my brows, and I felt my sore anus clench. When I squirmed, Jung Woojin kissed the corner of my eye.“I’m just checking to see if you’re hurt.”“Stop…”