Life of Change

It is difficult to constantly maintain a mask of seriousness and maturity. Being forced to always be that perfect lady, who follows all the rules and etiquette to the letter. It's too exhausting. I feel like I'm going to break at some point.

It was even worse when Nya was born. I felt it was my duty to become an older sister she could depend on, someone to guide her and teach her how to behave in a noble society.

I still feel that was the right decision.

But how could I do such a thing? I'm no good at it. Socializing is not my thing. How could I teach her how to behave at a social event, when I can barely keep myself sane doing it?

I hated every moment before and during my fifth birthday. I was terrified and disgusted at having to perform in front of so many people, let alone have to give a speech. My parents said it would be fine. Makila even helped me endure it, but I felt it had been torturing to be with so many strangers in that hall.

I even tried to ask Losward for help, but as usual, he turned me down. It got to the point of even making fun of me and wishing my party was a disaster just like I was. I never managed to get along with him. Much less when I realized that he hated me for "stealing" his position as heir. Something I had nothing to do with.

My twelfth birthday was no better either. Fortunately, it was an event for multiple young people entering the adult world, so I didn't have to worry about anything similar to the previous one.

So, when Nya was born, I thought I should be better than my elder brother. To cherish and care for my new baby sister. But, as time went on, I realized that I was terrible at that.

I know that, despite everything, Nya loves me, and I know she thinks I'm a great big sister, but what have I done for her?

Whenever I could, I spent time with her, playing together, or tried to tell her stories to entertain her. Sometimes I even help feed her or change her. I know those things are important, but seriously... have I even taught her anything? Isn't it my duty as her big sister to teach her things?

And now that Tya was born, the pressure has only increased.

I know that, if I set a good example for Nya, she will pass it on to Tya. But being the role model has made me doubt even more if what I'm doing means anything...if I've been doing things right.

Mom, Dad, and Makila don't know anything about this. I am completely incapable of telling them that I can't take this pressure. What would they think of me if I told them? I am the heir to the house. If they found out they will feel... disappointed. They might even take away the title of heir from me and give it to Nya or Tya. I don't want to put that kind of pressure on them. I want them to have the freedom that I have not been able to have.

But...as contradictory as it sounds, or selfish of me, this is a responsibility that I don't want to have either, and that would be so much easier for me if it were theirs.

I disgust myself.

I feel exhausted, lost, and annoyed constantly. My few breaks are when I get to spend time with my little sisters.

Nya's birthday was, perhaps, the greatest joy I have had since Tya's birth.

I was able to handle things thanks to having Tya in my arms, she gave me enough strength to be able to withstand all those stares. But, when I accompanied Nya to greet the guests, I barely managed to endure the first few before I had to drop everything and leave.

She was doing so much better than I could ever do in my entire life. And when I presented her gift, I was only able to do so because of Nisire's encouragement.

Nisire.

She had come into my life to become my biggest support and the biggest reason why I hadn't completely collapsed until now.

I thank Erka for putting her on my path and having her stay by my side.

I remember the day I met her. It was a couple of weeks before Tya was born.

I was at a tea party organized by the daughter of Countess Eleios, from a county to the south and part of the territory of the Parnas Duchy. Fortunately, it was not too big an event. There were only 8 of us girls, sitting around the same table. So, I didn't feel like I was suffocating.

The conversations were on topics I knew and liked, so things were going well at first. It seemed that at least this time, I could handle being in that place without wanting to empty the contents of my stomach.

But then... came the question.

"Lady Baelian. I understand you are of the Atenosia tribe, is that correct?" asked Lady Eleios. A strange tone in her voice as she asked such a question.

"Y-yes, from my mother."

"I see. I understood that they perform a rite, is that correct? Something to do with their... tails." Again, her question sounded somewhat strange. There was silence and the atmosphere changed completely.

All eyes were on me. I began to feel anxious; my throat went dry and and the beat of my heart intensified. I wanted to get out of there immediately because I knew what was coming, but I couldn't just get up and leave. It would only generate rumors and affect the image that I had worked so hard to build.

The image I had created of myself was of a serious and calm girl. Only my family knew that at home I was much more relaxed and expressive. I could not afford to simply drop that mask. Not only would it destroy my reputation, but it would also affect my position as a heiress. If that happened, it would be one of my sisters who would have to deal with that position.

I had made up my mind, I couldn't let them have to carry that.

What should I do then?

I tried to keep my expression neutral and serious, hoping that at least that would work.

"Right, right. They usually call them Valan or something, don't they?" asked another of the guests. Lady Crenea, from a baron house, also hails from the south. Her words were clearly a form of provocation.

They were mocking me, trying to provoke some kind of response or reaction. They were both from the Elenios tribe, a tribe that, apart from their extravagantly designed horns, had no remarkable appearance. They tend to be rather arrogant and pretentious, something caused by their over-inflated egos. Something I had no way to counter at the time.

"V-Valah. It's called... Valah..." I tried to correct her but received disguised laughter in response.

"That, that. So, where is it?" Lady Eleios took up the floor again, pressing me with her question.

I didn't want to answer...to do so would reveal that I was nothing more than...a failure.

"Where's what?" I tried to play dumb, hoping they would somehow get bored with my reaction and drop the subject. But... that wasn't going to happen. Even if I told them that I was not obligated to respond, it would only cause them to become even more suspicious or directly make accusations that could be damaging to me.

"Your "Valah" Lady Baelian. Where is it?" I could sense from her tone that she knew something. That she somehow knew or at least had a strong suspicion of what was going on with me.

"..."

What should I have done at that moment? I was terrified that they would find out. What if they did? What should I say then? The mockery I would receive, the insults. Even if I refused to answer or answered vaguely, it would only generate worst rumors. And seeing how they were acting, they would do their best to destroy me socially.

It was already difficult to attend parties and other social events, and I could only endure it because I was not the center of attention. After all, thanks to the image I have been building, they prefer to keep a respectful distance. But what would happen after today? The stares, the whispers... they wouldn't stop. I... I...

*PAM*

A sudden bang on the table broke the tension in the atmosphere. We all immediately turned to the girl who had provoked that shrill sound.

"Lady Eleios, don't you think you're being too rude?"

The lady spoke with annoyance in her voice, criticizing the hostess' actions. It was her. My savior. Who couldn't stand the way I was being made the object of ridicule by the rest.

She rose from her seat, glaring with clear disdain at all the others who had joined in the giggles and comments.

"I accepted the invitation because I thought it would be a social gathering among nobles, but it looks like I was wrong. It's just a bunch of rats squealing for food." She said, spitting venom in every word. Actions that contrasted perfectly with the fierce expression on her face.

This young lady who had risen to my defense is Nisire Burmont, daughter of Kael Burmont. Part of the Nerianes tribe, who live in the territory of Lachea in the north.

She was simply beautiful. The bright blue tendrils, which in her tribe replaced locks of hair, adorned her head, moving softly as if gentle sea waters were caressing them. They trailed down her face, embracing her soft cinnamon skin, a beautiful shade that looked as if it had been kissed by the shimmering sisters, Mita and Sura in the sky.

Her ocean-blue eyes contained a cross within them, which gave those present an angry look, sentencing and condemning them.

She moved away from her seat, heading straight for me. Her simple dress of a turquoise color, was very different from the large and ostentatious dresses I was so accustomed to in the capital. It was tighter to her body, which was slim, and slightly emphasized a few muscles on her arms and torso. The fabric barely covered the upper part of her abundant chest, highlighting them, and which, contrary to what one would think, remained firm despite her walking movements.

The short skirt, with almost no adornment on it, showed off her beautiful legs. With each step she took, coming closer and closer to my place, the more I realized how imposing her presence was.

Her short tail, similar in texture to the tendrils on her head, swayed gently behind her, and with each movement, thousands of different colors shimmered as she received the warm light from the sisters in the sky.

Finally, the beautiful girl reached my place. She stood next to me and gave me a kind smile, with joyful and somewhat expectant eyes. She offered me her hand and spoke to me in a soft, soothing voice.

"I beg your pardon for intruding, but, since this tea party offers you nothing positive or of interest; and neither to me personally, may I suggest a better option?" offered Nisire, her tone formal and polite. Her eyes were fixed on mine, and for some reason, I did not feel intimidated under that gaze.

I had been mesmerized by those intense, exotic blue eyes. A gaze that seemed to want to bare the depths of my soul. And not in an uncomfortable way. No. It almost made me want to show her everything that was hidden inside my heart.

My silence seemed to make her nervous, perhaps thinking that her words would have been rude or inappropriate. She addressed me again in her formal tone, perhaps hoping her next words would be more convincing.

"Excuse me, Lady Baelian. I am unfamiliar with proper regional etiquette, so it is possible that I may sound rude, but I would like to be able to get to know you better. Therefore, would it be too forward of me to invite you to tea at my home? Whereas there is no longer any reason for either you or I to remain here any longer, would you grant me such an honor?"

Whether it was because I didn't want to stay, or... because I was seduced by her words, I accepted the gesture, feeling nervous and grateful.

Seeing me accept her hand, Nisire smiled in relief and carefully helped me up from my place. She guided my hand towards her, to hold her arm and winked at me, then moved towards the rest of the guests.

"I think it's time for me to leave. Something vastly more important has just come up than staying at this... nice tea party." Nisire said. Emphasizing the last part, showing clear sarcasm. "Lady Baelian has kindly offered to be my escort, so I hope there's no problem with her leaving as well, is there?"

There was a silence in the place. Lady Eleios had a bitter expression, knowing that Nisire had not only interrupted her fun but was taking her "toy" away. Since there was no response, Nisire nodded, and together we left the place.

A couple of days later, through a letter from Nisire, I learned that Lady Eleios was harshly criticized by her family and that even a letter of apology would soon arrive at my home from her. Countess Eleios was furious at her attitude. Both of our houses were in different factions, but to be openly hostile like that was something they could not afford.

Accepting her impromptu invitation not only protected my image but had gave me one of the best and most enjoyable experiences of my life. Spending that afternoon with her, talking and getting to know her made me realize how fascinating Nisire was.

The next few weeks were... magical. A fantasy. A dream I never thought I could ever fulfill.

Nisire is the coolest, sweetest, most generous girl I have ever met.

We met at least once a week and often coincided at social events, at which we would go all the way together. Her company made them... enjoyable.

I never thought I would be so happy to meet someone outside my family.

Neth, my maid, was the only one I had come to appreciate so much, and it was only because I had known her since I was little and she had proven to be someone I could trust. To me, Nisire was also special.

All this time I shared with her made me realize her sincerity. She was trying to reach out to me. Her actions were honest. On the other hand, I...

It was near the end of the fall that things changed. When I decided to be honest with her. To reciprocate that honesty she had shown me, with my own.

Mom had called Karla, our designer, and her childhood friend, to come over the next day. She wanted her to take care of our dresses, so she would be busy with that all day.

I decided to take the opportunity and ask Nisire out on a... walk. I had already sent a messenger with a small letter as an invitation, so all that was left was to arrange everything from my side, which wasn't too complicated. There was one nitpick, though. Getting Dad and Makila's permission. Something that wasn't easy at all, considering how cautious Makila is and how overprotective Dad can be.

I gathered them both in Dad's office and told them I wanted to go out with my friend, whom I have know for some time.

Makila, of course, immediately began an interrogation, trying to make sure I wasn't being used or being taken advantage of because of my position. It was hard to convince her, but thanks to Dad's unexpected help, I got permission. It was one of those rare moments when my father took my side and became convincing enough that he managed to get even Makila to give in.

After a sigh and a warning to be very careful, she helped me get the carriage and some escorts ready to leave. Neth, of course, was to accompany and assist me at all times.

We left the next day for the city center, where I would meet Nisire. On the way, I spent discussing my plans with Neth, who was doing her best to give me courage for what was coming.

"Young lady, are you sure you're ready?" said Neth, perhaps even more nervous than I was.

"Honestly? I don't know. I'm scared. what if her opinion of me changes for the worse? What if she abandons me at that point?" I replied. My hands were shaking and my heart wouldn't stop pounding hard in my chest.

"Young lady... excuse my boldness" Neth gently took my hands, and with her antennae, gently caressed my face. Her facial features were not as expressive as those of other tribes, who, unlike her, did possess eyes. But over the years that she had been by my side, I had come to understand these small changes. The movements of her lips and antennae, the soft sounds she made, or that strange aura that covered her.

She was trying to convey to me in every possible way how she felt. And at this moment she was conveying reassurance to me. A reassuring smile, even if she wasn't smiling, a warm gaze, even if she had no eyes, and a motherly expression, even if her whole face was a static mask that barely conveyed anything but cold inexpressiveness.

Her antennae caressed my face like hands, trying to dispel my nervousness, using that softness I loved to feel so much when we were alone.

"My young lady, I think if you continue to hold on to that fear you will never be able to move forward. This is not something related to being a heiress. It is something you choose for yourself, and no one has the right to interfere with it. Have courage. You may not know it, but my lady is an amazing person who can accomplish countless things. By the pillars, my lady IS a dual magician. How many dual magicians even exist in this empire?"

So many emotions were running around me, and that I couldn't control. I felt desperate, I wanted to cry until there was not a single tear left, but I also wanted to laugh and jump for happiness, as contradictory as it was.

"With your permission, my lady, I'm going to do something that might be disrespectful given my position." Neth suddenly became very serious. Her tone of voice changed completely, her grip on her hands became firmer and her antennae stopped completely from her gentle caresses on my face.

"I have been by your side for almost 12 years now. I've seen the best and the worst of you, so I can safely say that no one in this world knows you better than I do." Her hand suddenly came to rest on my cheek, giving a soft, reassuring touch. Neth, at that moment, looked incredibly beautiful and stunningly cool. "My dear Sarka, all you need is to trust yourself more. You are amazing, you just need to put your heart into it to succeed. And please don't be afraid, because no matter what happens, I will always be by your side."

Her words pierced me like an arrow, leaving me completely speechless. It wasn't normal for her to be so serious or so direct with her words.

While I was still blank, Neth got up from her place and sat next to me, giving me one of her warm and pleasant hugs. Sure enough, her antennae started tickling my face which helped me come to my senses.

"Neth, I..."

"Shh." Neth silence me as she shook her head. I understood immediately that a response was unnecessary.

If anyone else had seen that, they would have considered it an act of total disrespect to her master, but, to me, it didn't matter. She was one of the few people I considered close to, so she had my permission to do whatever she wanted.

I smiled as I realized that I didn't deserve her. She was someone who had supported and protected me since I was little. Although she knows how much I appreciate her, I had never really been able to express to her how much it meant to me to have her by my side.

Here was someone else with whom I needed to be completely honest.

The rest of the way Neth gave me encouragement and more advice on what I needed to do to make the plan work perfectly. She made sure to repeat to me over and over again that everything would go well, so even though I was nervous, there was someone by my side who trusted me, reassuring me and giving me courage.

It didn't take us long to reach our destination. The town square.

It was a large open space with cobblestones laid in an intricate pattern, through which dozens of people, nobles and commoners alike; alone or in pairs, walked to and fro, fulfilling whatever their goals were for the day. A huge fountain in the middle adorned the square, giving a peaceful aspect to this busy place.

Neth, my escorts; 2 family soldiers, and I walked to the fountain, where I would wait for Nisire's arrival.

Fortunately, I did not have to wait long. I saw her coming walking down one of the streets along with her escort, a maid, apparently a Valven, and a single guard. She saw us and hurried to catch up.

What surprised me most when I saw her was her appearance, which was far from what I was used to seeing her wear. Normally her appearance was much more exotic. She wore dresses that didn't fit the fashion of the capital, a detail that, to be honest, attracted me a lot. But today, even though she wasn't wearing such a different outfit, she still managed to get my gaze completely fixed on her.

Nisire was wearing a kind of tunic tight to the body, highlighting her already excellent figure, especially the chest area, which for some reason was what always attracted my gaze.

A sort of belt made of thin fabric, with several golden details, was wrapped around her waist, from which a short skirt descended, revealing part of her thighs.

This clothing was more similar to what an adventuress and not a noblewoman would wear. Over this, an open black leather jacket, similar to what a military officer would wear to a formal event. Some belts and buttons for the adjustment of the jacket could be found on the lapels and sleeves.

She wore a type of knee-high boots, a special type for her feet. Of course, I hadn't been able to see them, since it would be disrespectful, but I could see that, what I imagined was her ankle, was higher on her leg and she was walking with the front of her foot where her toes should be.

Yes, I know they look a little different, but I think the AI is racist because even if I specify a dark skinned character, it still makes her white skinned or only in parts... well, I know it's not really, but the point is that it was hard to make Nisire look good in both images!

By the time I had finished looking at every detail of her clothing, she was right in front of me. She gave me one of her beautiful smiles and offered me that greeting she always uses when she sees me. She took my hand, wrapping hers around it, and gently placed it on her forehead, allowing her nice appendages to touch it gently, causing me to tingle and a pleasant shiver to run through my body.

"My lady, you look extremely stunning today. That green dress brings out your already wonderful crimson hair."

"Th-thank you Nisire. Today...you too...look great." I replied, feeling much more embarrassed than usual. Her looking so...great, coupled with her always cute and sincere compliments that hit my heart harder than usual. And I was sure she had done it with that intention. Her look and that smile that... provoked so many things inside me, told me so.

"It's always a pleasure to see that expression on your face, My Lady." She continued, teasing me. Gently kissing my hand, then indicating to her escorts with a nod of her head to keep some distance away.

I could do nothing but remain silent, being consumed by the heat of my redness.

"Then, My Lady, may I have the honor of accompanying you? I know a perfect place where we can have a real feast and have a quiet chat." She said as she offered me her arm to take. Something I did not hesitate to accept.

We both walked slowly through the streets of the city, enjoying the little stroll with light conversation.

"I must say, My Lady..." said Nisire suddenly. All my attention was on that cheerful and curious expression she was showing me. "I did not expect to receive this sudden invitation."

"W-was I inopportune?" I asked, flustered that I had made her come when she could have been busy.

"Oh, no, not at all. I think it was very opportune." She replied, maintaining her always brilliant smile, helping me calm my nerves. "I'm just saying, I was very glad to receive that invitation for this date with you, My Lady."

D-date?!? Th-that's right... it's a date. I... asked her out on a date...

A giggle interrupted my thoughts. Nisire was teasing me once again. Why was it that her teasing, instead of embarrassment, brought joy and longing to my heart?

In no time we had arrived at the recommended place. We entered together and asked for a private table. The attendant, a Valven who reminded me very much of the mansion's maid, Ameli, led us to one of the private sections of the place.

We sat across the table from each other and ordered our food, along with a type of green wine that Nisire herself recommended. As we waited, she began to tell me several things about her birthplace.

The region of Lachea is a region adjacent to the Coldent Marquisate, on the northeastern border of the empire. It is a semi-autonomous territory which means that it belongs to the empire, but not to a duchy, which gives them a position similar to that of a count, but without holding such a title.

The Burmonts have a close relationship with the Coldents, for which they have earned the reputation of being the only allies of the Marquisate.

In recognition of this, and some other achievements on the part of the Burmont family, Emperor Gilles granted them the title of counts a few months ago. With this, their priority functions changed to being a liaison between the Coldents and the imperial family, changing the name of the region in which its main city resides to Burmont County.

Part of their duties is to receive and send the weapons and supplies they get from the capital and take them to Coldent territory to deliver them to the border troops. In short, the logistics of the border army. This is the shipment provided by the imperial family to support them in the defense of the empire's territory.

That is also the reason why they are currently in the capital. They will stay here for a few months while they make negotiations regarding the new supply shipment. Also, because there has been an increase in skirmishes and attacks by the Obreund kingdom, they are requesting reinforcements from other knight orders, recruitment of new foot soldiers, field engineers, and woodworkers to repair the walls and forts, as well as an increase in food supplies, given the possible increase in forces if the new reinforcements are approved.

I had heard that the northern territory was going through a lot in the last few months, but information was pretty scarce. Living in the capital pretty much isolates you from a lot of the happenings in the other territories, especially those you don't have jurisdiction over. However, it is also because, even though I am the heiress of the house, there are things that I cannot be informed of due to my youth.

Leaving aside the more serious topics, Nisire began to talk more about herself, things I wanted to know about. So far, all our encounters had told very little about her, and it was almost always me talking, partly because she was the one asking, and because I needed to vent a lot of the stress I had accumulated over the past few years.

Nisire, about the same age as me, 16 years old; being only a couple of weeks older, is the 4th daughter of the Burmonts, and is not part of the direct line of succession. It is her older siblings; specifically, her oldest brother, who have the right of succession, next in line are two other siblings, of which one is her older sister.

"As you can see, My Lady, the reason for my stay in the capital is to help my father and brother with their work," Nisire said, in a tired voice. It seemed like a subject she didn't want to talk about. "My father's plan is for me to stay in the capital. He wants me to learn how to run some of the businesses here to then improve things in the territory and maybe marry someone important to further entrench his position and maybe bring more profit to the family.”

"Sounds like something you don't want to do," I remarked. Her voice sounded exhausted. Up until now, she hadn't wanted to talk to me about her family situation, and with this, I could sense why.

"Yes, it's definitely something I don't want to do. It's not easy to leave my home, my family, and everyone I know, to come to an unfamiliar place with no friends. And maybe, being also forced to marry some stranger."

Her words made my heart prickle. But before I could think of anything else, she reached out her hand across the table, gently taking mine.

"Maybe it's not all as bad as I first thought, though. Maybe I could have found a very good reason to stay willingly." She said, gently stroking my hand, and looking at me with that seductive gaze that caused my heart to pound so hard I feared she was able to hear it. "Someone who can keep me company and drive away that loneliness."

The food arrived just then before I could even respond to her words. Nisire said nothing more and turned her attention to the plates the waitress was beginning to place on the table.

We both ordered an algabia soup a piece of fresh dark bread and a cut of wild bortan, accompanied by that green wine Nisire had recommended.

The Algabia, is a type of vegetable that combines characteristics of different vegetables. Its appearance is similar to that of a cluster of vibrant green leaves, with a silvery tinge on the reverse side of the leaves, giving it an exotic and attractive appearance. Each leaf is large and crisp, with a fresh, slightly sweet flavor reminiscent of a cross between spinach and artichoke heart. Its stem is used together with its leaves to flavor soups, stews and casseroles. The stem has a slightly milder flavor, similar to turnip with a spicy touch.

Wild Bortan: Animal similar to a giant iguana. In the wild they tend to grow very large, reaching 150 cm in height and 4 meters in length. They are often sought after by adventurers as prey for recurring missions. The fat extracted from their bodies is often used to create lard for cooking.

Bortan meat is considered a delicacy among culinary connoisseurs. It is exceptionally juicy and tender, with a unique flavor that combines earthy notes with a slightly spicy touch.

The conversation didn't continue any further, giving us time to enjoy our meal, something I was grateful for.

I decided to concentrate on just the taste of my food and enjoy it to the fullest. The bortan meat was especially delicious, and the wine had a rather pleasant sweet taste.

Before long, all the food was gone, leaving us both quite satisfied.

Nisire sighed contentedly, giving me a sweet smile. "Was it to your liking My Lady?"

"O-of course. I don't usually eat out, but it was a good experience. It was delicious. T-thank you for bringing me."

"Not at all, My Lady. I should be the one thanking you for inviting me." She replied, maintaining her pleasant smile.

We decided not to have dessert and instead retired shortly after finishing our meal. There was a lot to see and a whole day to do it. And... I needed to gather my courage.