LF Friends, Will Travel

Date: 28 PST (Post Stasis Time)

“That still freaks me out, it’s weird”

The Ritilian placed the crate she was carrying on the floor, standing over the Terran in front of her. Tauress stood at almost 4 ft tall, covered from head to toe in a pattern of green and blue iridescent scales natural to her species. The reptilian had a slightly concerned look covering her short stubby snout.

“What do you mean?”

Joseph was crouched over the container he was securing to the floor, the Terran tightening the bolts with his hand to ensure it wouldn’t shift around the cargo bay during transit. Just one of tens of the crates that filled the giant bay they were working in.

“Your hand, the way it shifts around like that.”

Joseph stopped for a moment, giving a grin as he raised his left arm to be better viewed by the unfortunate Ritilian. Joseph looked like a perfectly normal human, with the exception of the appendage he was now currently holding up for inspection. The hand was clearly not organic as at the moment the first two fingers had been replaced with a series of interlocking black metallic pieces, ending in a 10mm socket that was currently being used to secure the cargo.

“You mean like this?”

The hand started to shift around, pieces moving in synchronised fashion with a series of almost inaudible clicks, until after a mere second the tool disappeared to be replaced with two fingers that looked, almost natural.

“Yes! Don’t do that! Makes me want to throw up!”

“Query: Isn’t that just a standard cybernetic replacement?”

The last member of the trio in charge of getting the cargo bay ready for launch spoke up, ‘standing’ behind a control panel and operating the various pieces of machinery that were sorting the cargo to be secured by the other two. Standing was probably the wrong word, because “Bob” was a Scythen.

A mass of multi coloured tentacles in a rough 2ft diameter were secured to a small hovering disk, bringing the alien up to around 3ft in height. The voice was robotic, replacing the Scythen’s natural form of communicating through changing colour, providing something more understandable by most of the galaxy's inhabitants.

“It’s still weird.” Tauress stated, looking at the cybernetic appendage, subconsciously rubbing her own clawed hand. “The idea of having a machine replacing your flesh... makes my scales squirm”.

“I could have had it regrown buuuut” There was a moment as another series of clicks emanated from Joseph’s hand, ending with a thin stream of blue fire shooting from what was now a functional plasma cutter. “Biological hands can’t do this!”

“Worried statement: Knowing friend Joseph’s proclivities, this is not an improvement for everyone else.”

“I would never use my powers for evil, you injure my honour Bob!” Joseph gave an exaggerated swoon of insulted feelings, voice filled with sarcasm before turning back to look at Tauress . “Besides, I guess cybernetics aren’t really a thing when you can just regrow limbs.”

There was a moment as the trio all stopped for a moment, considering how the Ritilian biology would have affected their technology, before it was Tauress’s turn to give a large grin at the Terran; showing off a jaw filled with small pointy white teeth.

“It can come in handy, remember your first day.”

Joseph stopped smiling and gave a glare back, securing the next crate as he looked across to his friend.

“I remember that you’re a dick.”

“Interested Query: I’ve not heard this story before, what transpired?”

The clicking sound that was the Ritilian's laugh sounded out.

“Well on his first day in the break room the ever graceful Mr Joseph stepped on my tail, causing it to break off as it does. I remember turning around annoyed because it messes up my balance for a few days as it grows back and seeing this strange bipedal primate just looking completely shocked.”

“Prediction: So friend Tauress explained to friend Joseph that this was an evolutionary quirk to ward against a now extinct predator and everything would be fine?”

“Not quite…”

It was now the turn of the Terran to interject, shouting out in indignation.

“The asshole turned around and screamed ‘Oh no my tail, what have you done to my tail!’”

Bob flashed alternating red and green, indicating enjoyment as the clicking laughter from Tauress grew louder.

“Betch ya remember to look where you’re putting your feet now? You should have seen the look on your face, it was like watching a hatchling dumped out of the egg for the first time.”

“Statement: I can see the humour in that. How long did this state remain?”

“She told me the truth after ten minutes. Longest ten minutes of my life.” At this point even Joseph was smiling, clicking the last crate into place before starting to affix the entire storage platform to the wall. “While in retrospect I can see that it was funny, at the time I was flat out having a panic attack. Three hours into my new life, I thought I’d crippled someone. 6 months of being told repeatedly by my government ‘Don’t create a diplomatic incident’ and I rip someone’s tail off day one!”

“Funny, ‘diplomatic incident’ was the phrase the captain used to describe my actions, when they reamed me out for the ‘misunderstanding’”

The trio slowly quietened down for a moment, the sounds of laughing giving way to the background noise of the three continuing their work. Eventually the Terran perked up once again.

“I’ve always wanted to ask: If this happens all the time, what do you even do with the tail afterwards?”

“Oh normally you just eat it.”

The Ritilian made the statement so casually, yet work came to a screeching halt as the other two stared incredulously at Tauress.

“Confused statement: For entities that eat solid matter that’s not normal right.”

“Not normal! Now THAT is weird.” The green sickly look on Joseph’s face as he made that statement, said more than a million words ever could.

“I don’t see the issue? It’s high in nutrients and would be wasted otherwise.”

“Still not normal! When I lost my hand at no point did I think about rummaging around the farm equipment to grab some dinner! Remind me not to invite you to a potluck in case you bring a ‘special ingredient’”

Tauress gave a small smirking grin, turning once again to the Terran.

“As much as I like your friendship Joseph, I don’t think you’re ready for marriage.”

Bob turned a deep blue, indicating confusion.

“Confused statement: Friend Tauress, please clarify.”

“It’s no longer common, but traditionally to provide your tail as a meal to another is a marriage proposal. The idea being that not only are you giving up a vital food store as a method of trust, but also quite literally giving up part of yourself to your partner, to become one.”

The Terran shook his head in disbelief.

“That’s weirdly a sweet idea. Romantic cannibalism, who would have thought it?”

The conversation quietened down as the three slowly finished up their work, the final touches before the ship could take off being completed.

“Statement: Bones are weird.”

This time both Joseph and Tauress turned to look at their Scythen friend with confusion, both uttering the word at the same time

“What?”

“Clarifying statement: I assumed we were all stating what we found weird about the others. So, bones are weird.”

The Ritilian shook her head, the look of confusion still evident on their face.

“No, I got nothing, what?”

“Clarifying statement: The idea of having something inside you that stops movement, trapping you in place, is weird. I don’t know how it doesn’t drive you all crazy that you’re filled with bones.”

The Scythen started wiggling their tentacles as if to highlight the range of movement their boneless limbs provided, flashing various colours and patterns before being interrupted by the Terran in a lightly mocking manner.

“You of all people don’t get to call things weird. Have you seen anything that looks like the Scythen? You’re like a sentient puffer ball. Not having bones is the weird thing.”

“Query: Puffer ball?”

“It’s a toy for kids, give me a moment.” Joseph responded.

The Terran reached down, pulling out a handheld Galnet connector, tapping a few buttons before a picture of the silicone toy appeared for the others to see.

“Disagreeing statement: I don’t see the resemblance.”

The clicking laughter sounded out again as Tauress peered at the image.

“It’s like looking at your twin Bob. Scythen evolutionary origins have been solved!”

Joseph however had gone silent, spending the time furiously tapping the Galnet device, looking at the screen as his face turned into a huge smile.

“Guys, it turns out for thirty credits I can get the ship's fabricator to make a 2ft wide puffer ball and get it delivered to your room in a week. I will call you Bob junior, and you will be glorious.”

Tauress and Bob shared a look in response to this statement, or at least as much as you can share a look with a mass of tentacles lacking eyes.

“That has to be a record.”

“Agreeing statement: Friend Joseph seems to have named and bonded with an inanimate object before said object has even been created”

The Terran rolled his eyes in an exaggerated movement.

“You’re just jealous of the magnificence that will be Bob Junior. Maybe I’ll even give him a knife, then you’ll be sorry for underestimating your new god!”

All three started laughing, or at least their equivalences of laughing; partly due to the absurdity of the statement, partly because each of them knew that Joseph was no longer allowed to give inanimate objects knives. On direct order of the captain after the last incident.

The trio finished up their work, completing the long four hour shift and getting the bay ready for the ship next haulage job; the three friends making their way to the recreational facilities for some well deserved rest. But not before Joseph had one last thing to say.

“You know what is really strange. Each of us have perfectly acceptable home planets tailored to our culture and physiology, but instead we've taken the risk of diving into the unknown. Into misunderstandings and different cultures, into possible danger and injury. Not knowing exactly what we’ll find, but going anyway to see what’s there. Everyone here is weird in that way.”

That was a statement they all could agree with.