Lewd Dungeon Master: This Orc Is Too Damn OP!

Splash! Splash!

Knight Ramatio escaped the river like a drowned rat. The cavalry following behind were in the same state, and they had to calm their own and their horses' startled chests.

"Crazy...!"

Their condition was literally a mess. Other cavalrymen's bodies except himself had bruises everywhere. Those whose helmets or guards were scratched by stones were rather lucky, and not a single person had an intact body.

"Damn it."

Misjudgment. I thought since they were orcs, they'd naturally fight head-on, never imagining they'd cowardly throw stones. Orcs originally worship only close combat to show off their strength, so the plan was to attempt river crossing using geographical advantage for a surprise attack.

But the enemy utilized geographical advantage even better than themselves. Ramatio even briefly fell into anomie wondering if his common sense was wrong. However, he was the leader leading the subjugation force. He shouted at subordinates as if shouting at himself.

"Damn it, snap out of it!!"

The cavalrymen's eyes looking at Ramatio were vicious. They'd followed trusting only the knight but got hit by blind stones and even comrades died. Ramatio ate away more forces than expected from misjudgment.

"I'm revising judgment of the enemy. The opponent isn't orcs! They're barbarians wearing orc masks!"

Ten horsemen definitely died, and five drifted down the river and didn't return. Excluding those who lost horses or were seriously injured, fighting forces numbered barely less than 30 cavalry.

"First we withdraw! Take care of the wounded!"

And the reduced forces weren't just cavalry. Among corpses drifting down the river hit by stones, some were infantry. Having them follow behind cavalry since they could swim, they were annihilated by stones thrown by orcs.

Their number was another 150.

And remaining soldiers were coming down south where the main gate was, going around the fence from north of Zabiyaba. Ramatio turned his mount and shouted to cavalry.

"Join allied forces!!"

When Ramatio kicked below, horses galloped across the field with hoof sounds. Fortunately, the orcs didn't shoot arrows. They seemed unable to shoot arrows in the first place.

"Sir Ramatio?! What happened?!"

The adjutant leading eight hundred infantry turned pale. It was quite a poor battle for having rushed boldly, so Ramatio couldn't save face. Though acknowledging his mistake, he couldn't apologize to soldiers.

"Cavalry wait here! Infantry gather! March! The opponent's only skill is throwing stones! Everyone hold shields overhead and move slowly!"

Zabiyaba castle's gate was firmly closed but didn't particularly need a battering ram. If about 20 able-bodied men gathered as one and thrust a sharpened log several times, it would open. And as reported, the 'enemy's' gate was sturdy.

"Everyone, advance!"

Holding shields overhead, able-bodied men carrying the log advanced. Until then, the enemy showed no movement. About ten orcs watching from the watchtower threw stones, but they bounced off clustered shields causing no wounds.

"Sappers! Prepare to breach!!"

"Prepare to breach! One, two, three--!!"

With the sapper unit captain's command, twenty able-bodied men grabbed the log they'd brought and thrust it forward.

BOOOOM!!

With a thunder-like explosion sound, the gate opened halfway. Ramatio's heart swelled with joy thinking of opening the gate himself and slaughtering the orcs inside.

"Sir Ramatio!! Take cover!!"

"What?"

At the adjutant's shout, Ramatio watched the front. The distance was sufficiently far for those orc bastards in the watchtower to sling stones—

Suddenly, a thick shadow fell over Ramatio's head. Ramatio instinctively jumped off his horse and rolled on the ground.

Crack!

With a crushing sound, something hot grazed Ramatio's cheek. It was blood vomited by his beloved horse crushed under a stone chunk until just now. The stone chunk looked like a broken gargoyle's shape.

"What...is this...?"

"Aaaaah!"

Shadow fell from the sky again. This time, a slightly wider shadow, one wing of a gargoyle was flying through the sky.

"This, could it be?"

The enemy was breaking gargoyles to utilize as siege ammunition.

"Aren't they crazy?!"

***

Thirty minutes ago.

The landing operation ended in failure.

The knight withdrew cavalry north to regroup, and we fished humans drifting down the blood-red river with sticks and stripped them naked.

"Take everything except underwear."

Even leather dented from rocks would be useful if damaged parts were cut out. Dead humans were quite unpleasant to look at, but ghouls don't care how humans are packaged anyway.

Recovering corpses drifted to the riverside was done. Most were swords and shields soaked in water, and all clothes were worn out so we burned them at the riverside. Black smoke rose curling and soaring to the sky.

"They'll think orcs set fire to the city, right?"

"Then what happens? Will the enemy's hearts become anxious?"

"Who knows. They'll recover forces first."

They rushed in thinking the opponent was an idiot, so they got hit like idiots. Of course, they might think lightly of a mere 100 orcs, but the subjugation force had to endlessly realize they had to conduct a siege.

Now which way would they come? I returned to the square, and just then the portal sparkled as reinforcements arrived.

Boom, thoom.

One gargoyle appeared spreading its wings.

A monster both Gremory and I could summon, I summoned gargoyles randomly with low-grade magic stones obtained from the sub-dungeon and sent them here through the portal.

Lv.1.

Ranks were all ★ or ★★, totally a mess. They'd certainly struggle to win against even regular soldiers or get wrecked, but gargoyles weren't our combatants.

"Heave-ho!"

I thrust a sword toward the core of a gargoyle waiting blankly for orders. The gargoyle with shattered magic stone turned deep gray throughout its body, and soon scattered on the ground as large stone chunks.

"Whew."

I lifted the largest stone chunk and smashed other stone chunks. Fragmented chunks became small stones, perfect size to put in socks or cloth scraps. I picked up suitable stones from gargoyle remains and put them in socks tied to my waist string.

"This looks just like Loki's con.... Ahem."

I just carry tools for battle. And the moment I filled stones, orcs in watchtowers frantically waved flags reporting enemy position.

"Heh, they joined the main force."

With the landing operation failed, the choice to join infantry. Then naturally they'd think to smash the main gate. I moved all subordinates from the watchtower to the main gate. Excluding minimum forces guarding the government office, from now on it was essentially full-scale warfare.

"Legion Commander! The enemy has assembled before the main gate!"

"Right, I can tell just from sound."

The mustached knight's shouting reached even here. I picked up a suitable stone chunk from the gargoyle stone pile I'd built up beforehand. It felt quite heavy, easily exceeding 30kg.

"Huff, huff."

While subordinates took positions in an oval, I confirmed signals from the orc waving flags on the watchtower. There, Lune was checking enemy position with both eyes from the watchtower.

Angle 69 degrees, power full power.

"Stone tank gooooo!"

I squeezed out all strength, grabbed the stone chunk with both hands and ran forward. After three running starts, launch toward the sky.

"Die, mustache!!"

I threw the stone chunk high in the sky. Simultaneously, enemy sappers pounded the main gate with the battering ram.

Crack!

The door opened so easily it seemed almost half open. But if they lost their captain, especially a knight, the enemy would be nothing but a rabble.

"Did it hit?!"

"He dodged! By rolling on the ground!"

"Damn it!"

I immediately turned around and picked up another stone chunk. Damn heavy, but I could definitely handle this much.

"Where!!"

"Three steps left!!"

I adjusted the launch angle as Lune said. Lighter than before, so I eased off strength while keeping the angle the same.

"Double fire!!"

The gargoyle's lower body flew spinning through the sky. From outside, a thud sound came with something bursting.

"Did he die?!"

"Soldiers beside him got crushed! He dodged again!"

"Cockroach bastard!"

Short-thinking bastard who throws troops away dodges damn well. I was pissed, but sniping the enemy captain with such crude slinging was basically luck anyway. Without Lune fixing position, it would've stuck in bare ground.

"Legion Commander, we—"

"You guys lack strength! Uuugh!"

I picked up another gargoyle piece from the stone pile. The gargoyle's headless torso was perfect weight and form to grab, and I stood right in front of the main gate. This time, aimed shooting wasn't needed.

Three, two, one—

I heard sappers matching timing. I also stepped back matching that rhythm.

CRACK!!

The gate opened wide left and right. Simultaneously, soldiers rushed in swarms with roars. So to welcome them, I brought the stone chunk behind my head.

"Welcome to Ras Vegas, you little humans!!"

I threw the stone chunk toward the gate. Matching my sling, other orcs also threw stones they'd been spinning.

"Uaaaah!!"

Soldiers rushing with shields raised couldn't identify the stone chunk I threw in time. With a crack sound, the stone chunk crushed soldiers along with shields, and I picked up a stone chunk from the stone pile again.

"Aim for the enemy's knees! So they can't block with shields! Don't throw randomly!"

"Brothers, aim for toes! Crush pinky toes with stones!"

"Faces, smash faces!!"

Orcs aimed at enemy soldiers' exposed parts following squad leaders' commands. I threw stone chunks at densely packed enemies. If there's no trebuchet, I'll become the trebuchet. The moment I thought I'd killed quite a few enemies with stone chunks, enemy soldiers scattered left and right.

"They're coming!!"

Rummmble.

With earth-shaking sounds came angry horse hoof sounds. The width was very narrow, but a perfect position for exactly three horses to charge simultaneously.

"Uooooh!!"

Infantry broke through the main gate, and cavalry charged at full speed as if to crush us with hooves. At the front was the mustached knight riding a horse charging. Since his original horse died crushed by my sling, he seemed to have stolen and ridden another horse.

"My Cristina's enemy!! Die, you monster!"

The mustached knight leveled a long spear straight at me. Numerous cavalry followed behind. But all preparations were already complete.

"Eila!!"

With my signal, Eila stabbed her sword in the ground. Simultaneously, the ground where cavalry were about to charge sank.

Craaaash!

Below the dirt road, slime dragons that dug holes in the ground roared with mouths wide open. The ground sank in a half-moon shape, and cavalry following couldn't overcome acceleration and tumbled below the collapsing ground.

"Uoooh!"

The mustached knight showed splendid horsemanship with a battle cry. Gripping reins and urging the horse with legs, he made it jump high before falling in the hole while lowering the spear down. At that spear tip was naturally me.

"Die---!!"

The mustached knight stabbed the spear at me like a harpoon with a red face. Before the spear blade stabbed my heart, my vision turned red. My face's tattoo reflected in the spear blade was glowing red.

"You think I'm a pushover because I threw some rocks?"

Close combat is welcome. I grabbed the weapon I'd prepared for him from my waist—bread.

"Huh!!"

I grabbed brick-hard bread and struck the long spear with full force. The spear blade and shaft collided with the hard bread crust's surface, and the mustached knight dropped the shaft. I recovered the bread with the spear blade stuck in it and brought it behind my shoulder.

"This is a face bread!!"

I jumped high and smashed brick-hard bread into the mustached knight's philtrum. With a crack sound, the knight's teeth broke. Blood splattered on his mustache, and the knight fell off the horse with rolled-back eyes.

Thud.

The knight collapsed on the ground. I threw the blood-stained bread on the knight's face.

Wham.

I said don't play with food, but that bread was so hard it was impossible to eat anyway, so no problem. I untied my belt string and dropped all slings to the ground.

"All troops----!"

Clink.

I gripped two one-handed axes strapped to my back, one in each hand. Normally I'd use an iron mace, but from the moment I escaped the dungeon, I eagerly awaited the day to use dual axes.

"Repeat after me!"

I caught my breath more excitedly than ever and shouted at the humans.

"THIS! IS! SPARTA!!"

"Ras...This is sparta!"

These bastards.

Thought I was doing Ras three cheers.

"You think I only do Ras all the time?!"

I jumped at cavalry fallen in the pit and struck down with dual axes.