Level Up Saintess

I couldn’t help but feel like I was strong-arming the Bishop by using my position as I watched him leave. It wasn’t a good feeling, but honestly, I would do it 100 times over if it meant that more people would live because of it. Yeah, that sounds really noble, like I’m truly becoming a compassionate and caring Saintess, right? Too bad about 40% of my motivation behind all that is just because I don’t want to miss out on all the exp I’d get...

 

Really, sometimes this whole exp thing makes me feel like I’m just a bad person doing all the right things for all the wrong reasons. It’s a good thing no one knows about this but me... Better to let the masses hold on to the fantasy of a Saintess than let them know the truth.

 

Ah, I talk like that, but even if I wasn’t going to get any exp from it, I would totally still want every single one of those people to be rescued and healed. First of all, I made a promise to them that I would get them all out, and secondly, I’m not an asshole. I’ve never been the type to just look at someone's suffering and avert my eyes... Maybe it’s because I grew up watching Kale and I suffer all the time. Or maybe it’s because I promised myself again and again to never end up an asshole like my parents. But no matter what my motivation for feeling like it is, I just can’t stand seeing innocent people all caged up like they’re not even human. It’s just not right.

 

So long as I’m a Saintess, I won’t stand for it.

 

As I returned to my seat thinking some increasingly radical thoughts, Chella scootched over next to me, and held my hand. Our shoulders pressed against each other, and we leaned against each other for comfort. Her eyes were still a bit wet as she stared at the door, and from the determined look on her face, I was sure that she would keep watching it all night if she had to, or for however long it took for her to see everyone coming back to her.

 

I wonder if she had the same look on her face when she was waiting for me to come back from the blood-beast raid...

If so, that would be amazing, really.

She’d be the first person since Kale to ever worry about me so much.

I hate to admit it, but the Goddess has truly blessed me in this life.

 

Since I was trying to let my mind stay distracted while I waited so that I wouldn’t spring up and try to run after the rescue team, and also since I’d just thought about the Goddess anyways, I let myself finally think about the strange incident that happened earlier. I’m pretty sure that message that I got in the prison was from the Goddess… right? Who else would have the ability to talk to me through the notification board?

 

Actually, besides that message, there were actually a bunch of strange things that had happened. For starters, there’s the fact that the notification screen had moved all on its own, sure, and there’s the fact that the skill was taken without me even needing to touch it, which has never happened so far. If you really want to nitpick, then there’s even the odd point where the skill was flashing as it was chosen, too. But all of that is totally blown out of the water for me by the fact that I looked at level 14’s skill only a few minutes after I leveled while healing the people in the slums, and it for sure wasn’t supposed to be [Pressure of the Divine]!

 

I very clearly remember checking my skills after I leveled, seeing that the next option was another one of those blessing skills for buffing people’s magic damage, and thinking that I could totally just get it later whenever I finally needed it. And now, it prominently lists [Pressure of the Divine] as the only option for level 14, which means the Goddess must have replaced it with that, right? I’m not sure, but I think I recall seeing it listed somewhere near the level 40 skills one of the times I was scrolling through, casually checking my future options. Does that mean I got a level 40ish skill while I’m still just a low level...? No wonder it chugs through my energy so easily, then.

 

Oh, yeah, and for the record, I had about 245 exp before buying that skill, and now, after killing that man and healing and curing Ferr, I’m only at 40... so I guess it ate up all of my previous exp. It’s a small price to pay, really, for handing me a level 40 skill this early. And you know, I really desperately needed the skill right then, so I should be really thankful to the Goddess for saving me. But considering it also cost me 3 of my skill points to buy… Well, I guess I only have 2 skill points left from my stockpile.

 

Yeah, I shouldn’t complain, but damn do I feel like I want to.

 

No, this isn’t the right time to be petty, there’s still one more thing I should be thinking about. Why did the Goddess decide to help me there? I was under the impression that I was in the middle of a redemption run, right? The main quest clearly says that if I die I’ll go to hell, so why did the Goddess go out of her way to help me live? Why would she give me only a week to live, and then give me an overpowered tool to help me survive?

 

…Didn’t she put me here to punish me?

 

Well, I say that, but I’ve mentioned plenty of times that the Goddess has given me a much better life now than I ever had before. And after I kept crying and fussing about Kale not being here with me, I even found out that he was actually here the whole time. Sure, I can spin things however I want, but besides the whole death-timer, looming damnation to hell, and Kale forgetting about me… Hasn’t this been a bit too good of a deal? So long as I keep doing my best I can delay my death pretty well, there’s a chance that Kale can recover his memories one day, and I’m one of the most important and unique people in the world, with access to godly powers if I can live long enough to reach them.

 

Really, if I look at it the right way, doesn’t it seem like the Goddess has been very kind to me?

 

I mean, maybe it’s too early for me to try and judge. I’ve only been here for a few weeks, so it’s not like I know everything yet. There’s a chance that this is just the Goddess buttering me up before the real torment begins, and it could totally be that dying too soon would ruin whatever plans that the Goddess has laid out for me. But for now… I don’t think it’s so wrong to hold a little bit of hope, you know? I’m new to it, and I’m apprehensive and doubtful because that’s how I’m used to being, but…

 

I really want to believe.

…Is that bad?

 

~~~

 

It took about 2 hours before the Head Priest/Bishop showed up, along with the guards and a horde full of people. Of the 20 guards that went out, about 12 of them were carrying people who couldn’t walk on their own or were barely moving, and quite a few of the 8 left over were helping prop up those who could move, but needed someone to lean on to do so. Of the 30ish people they’d rescued, it really really seemed like most of them hadn’t escaped without being terribly injured in some way.

 

Yeah, I knew it was going to be like this, but I’ll have to forgo being ‘optimal’ about everything and call in some backup.

 

After I spoke to her, Chella nodded with a resolute face and ran off into the church, and only 3 minutes later she came back with the rest of the priests in tow. It looked like either Chella hadn’t really explained things very well to them, or that they were simply shocked by what they were suddenly seeing, judging from their varied reactions. They were professionals though, and with all that I’d experienced since coming here, I doubt that this was the first time they'd had a bunch of people show up in awful conditions like this. I mean, if I weren’t the one who had to quickly patch up the people from the Midliff town incident, then I’m sure they would have all been called over, right? Or at least I hope

they would’ve. Honestly, since the church mostly performs its healing for profit, there’s every possibility that they might not have been obligated to heal all those poor refugees…

 

I’ll have to see if that’s true later.

 

Maybe now that I’m recognized as a Saintess, I could convince them to change it if I don’t like what I hear. ...It’s crazy that that’s even a possibility, you know? Me, influencing how an entire organization works. That’s the sort of power that I would have never expected to receive. Can’t say I’ve ever had the ability to change something I didn’t like before. I hope I get many opportunities to do so... although I guess I also don’t want to run into a bunch of stuff I hate seeing enough that I want to change it. What a dilemma.

 

Well, if I see something wrong, I’ll do my best to fix it.

I’m not just going to accept the awful things I see as they are anymore.

Not in this life.

 

Anyways, back to the predicament at hand: I only have a little under 500 energy at the moment. Most of my big heals are way too costly for me to handle this amount of people right now, which is why I had to call in as much help as I could. It would be stupid in such a dire situation to try and hoard all the possible exp for myself. If I tried to pull such a stunt and some of these people died because of it… Nope, definitely have to give up my greed on this one.

 

I had Chella [Heal] and [Cure] as many of the lesser injuries that she could, so we could get this place a little less crowded. She might not have a very big energy pool, although honestly I don’t know how big of one she has because I don’t want to be rude and use [Appraisal] on my closest friend, but I’m sure she probably has at least 50ish, right? It should be enough for her to probably take care of a good chunk of these people, or at least I hope it is.

 

I had the other 3 priests divide and conquer, and asked the Head Priest if he was alright with taking care of the injuries that needed a [Greater Heal] to fix. I was pretty sure, judging from a few of the people that I could see, that he’d healed a handful of the ones whose clothes were in absolute tatters but whose bodies were in relatively better shape. He didn’t heal them perfectly, but I have to applaud him for knowing discretion and saving his energy for when they were finally somewhere safe. It’s something that I know I wouldn’t be able to do very well, considering how my skills seem to be an all or nothing sort of affair. Oh but yeah, the Head Priest- Oh sorry, no, the Bishop said he could handle about 4 good [Greater Heals] before he would have to stop, so I let him go and do that.

 

For the record, I’m pretty sure the other priests here also knew how to use [Greater Heal], but I have a little bit more trust in the Bishop’s abilities than theirs, even though I’ve never actually seen any of them perform any of their healing skills before. I’m not sure if it was just because he had a higher rank than them, or because he seemed more put together and trustworthy, but he certainly seemed like the right one for the job.

 

…Maybe for fairness’s sake I should watch how everyone does here.

I might even learn a thing or two about how regular people use their heals.