NOVEL NEXT I'm Your Biggest Flan
Mina spent such a long time drafting the script with Artie Decor that the morning had long become the afternoon and was heading towards the evening, but she wanted to make sure everything was perfect in the movie of her life. She has seen enough biopics about famous celebrities and musicians that people often changed things for dramatic Hollywood related reasons, but she wanted to make sure that this film was accurate.
She certainly didn't have a flawless career as a lawyer and she still regretted certain things like defending Chet Cody or Dustin Himbolake, but she couldn't change those things. They were forever part of her history. Since the movie covered enough for her first four cases, she certainly had enough material. And she decided as a teaser that maybe Ashley could make a dramatic appearance at the end for a cliffhanger. Mina was sure she'd appreciate that.
Lastly, when they were done, Mina decided one important thing. They would get the best actors for the job and not play themselves. As much as she and especially Raven wanted to appear on the big screen, it was better to just be humble and allow the most talented people to play them.
By the time they were done, they had drafted her first original screenplay and now it was time to audition perfect Mina for the show of her life!
When they came back out, Mina got herself a handy second director's chair. Or rather a creative consultant chair. Much to Artie's dismay, she also demanded chairs for all her friends and her boyfriend and girlfriend too. Now it was finally time for lights, camera, hot pink fashion!
In came the many Mina impersonators, perky and somewhat gawky and awkward, but well intentioned teenage girls. And so, the search began.
***
Unfortunately for the director and especially Mina, almost every aspiring actress managed to butcher some aspect of her character. Maybe even worse than Blind was about to be butchered be Le Savage's knives. Some of them added words like "like" and "totally" to their interpretation of a California valley girl. Some screamed like banshees being exorcised over the visage of William "Blind" Justice and literally threw themselves at him to the point he had to dodge their attempts to maul him. And almost no one could nail that catchphrase of "oh lawd" better than Mina herself. Most of them exclaimed "oh Lord!" like they were about to sing Pill Collins hit song In My Hair Tonight.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
Finally, after many, many blunders and moments that made Mina exclaimed: "oh lawd" herself, they were finally down to one last girl.
It was the retainer girl at the end of the line who didnt even realize she was talking to the real Mina. She had a look of confidence and even annoyance on her face, having been left all the way at the end of the line. But she seemed more awake than everyone else. Her eyes were wide and she spoke boldly too.
"Mina Hawkthins, exthuse me for insulthing you earlier. You may not know me...but I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN!"
Mina woke up like a late afternoon latte. "Biggest fan?!" she said. "What do you mean?"
The girl crossed her eyes and snorted. Spittle from her retainer flew forward, nearly spraying Mina in the face. "Doy, what elseth does it mean! I've been in the courtroom since day one and your steamy shar crossthed love story between you and Blind Justice has been the greatest thing since the vampire love story of Midnight: Blue Moon."
"Oh are we now?" Blind said, feeling perturbed. "I didn't know we were like a romance novel. I always thought this more of a gamelit!"
"Tee hee!" the girl said putting her hand forward. "You're so funny breaking the fourth wall like that. But it's a bonus story so it's okay! I justh want to thay I have written SO much fanfiction of you two. Or as I call it, FLAN FiCTION!"
"Flan Fiction?" Mina asked. "Like the pudding?"
"Tee hee, no silly," the girl responded. "My name is Flannery so I call it FLAN FICTION!!! Maybe you can also call me your biggest FLAN!"
Mina couldn't help but admit she liked this girl's enthusiasm, but there was one problem. "Er...uh Flan," she said, trying to smile. "I really appreciate your devotion to everything Mina and Legally Brunette but uh we have one problem about your audition..."
Flan winced, already feeling rejected by her hero. "What is it? I made sure that my hair length matched yours at the beginning of Case One. Right down to the number of hair follicles which are 1234560003."
"Umm, good job," Mina said, sweating nervously. My only problem is that I don't lisp. Well I did when I had a retainer but I'd like to think the non-stop brutality of puberty has left my oily skin and dental plan alone."
Suddenly, there was a glint in Flan's eyes. She walked up to Raven. "Hold my retainer...Raven..." She said and planted it in his hand.
"Uh...ew..." Raven said, wincing at having a spit covered dental corrector in his hand."