Leftover Apocalypse

Hugh went back into the alley to grab Errod's sword, my knife, and - after asking if I was serious - my discarded wooden bowl. I was getting the deposit back on that thing. I re-tied the ribbons that had come loose to prevent any embarrassing incidents, taking my time so that I could think about the Van Halen logo. It couldn't be a coincidence. The stylized VH with wings was pretty distinctive. I'd seen a letter here that looked like a V though, and couldn't rule out there being one that looked like an H especially since it was a pretty simple shape. Errod was just standing there, shifting his weight from foot to foot nervously.

Hugh returned, looking mildly annoyed in a very middle school teacher kind of way. "There, I have retrieved your knife and bowl and," he said turning to Errod, "your garbage sword. This is a disgraceful waste of metal."

Errod ignored the insult to his weapon and tried to peer into the dark alley. "Are they...?"

"Dead? No," Hugh's tone made it clear that he would have rather finished things, "I have no legal authority here and did not wish to get tangled up in local politics. They are badly injured and will not be bothering anyone until they see a healer, yes?"

Errod nodded but looked sick. "I have to go. They know where I live, and my sister is there."

I couldn't let him go without asking him about the logo. "Wait! Wait. We'll go with you in case they're headed there too."

Hugh raised an eyebrow. "We will? Calliope, I don't think they will be headed far without functioning knees. This young man will be fine, and we should be getting back to the inn soon."

Errod smiled, though it was painfully fake. "It's fine. I'll be okay." He was not going to be okay. He began to run away down the street. I looked at Hugh, and at Errod, and then sprinted after him and grabbed his arm.

"Go get your sister or whatever, but then meet me at the Hawk and Hen. We're leaving first thing in the morning."

Hugh was already walking by the time I returned, so I hurried alongside him. "Hugh, did you recognize that symbol on his vest?"

"No. I only glanced, however. It means something to you?"

"Yeah. It's... I'm pretty certain it's from... the same place as me. Damn it. Well, I'm sure it wasn't just in this one place. The odds that I would run into the only person that knows about Van Halen would be just insane, right?"

Hugh twirled one end of his mustache as he stopped to look around at an intersection. "Indeed. I don't know what Van Halen is, but if you are correct that this is not common knowledge? Randomly stumbling across the only person that knows about something important to you might be coincidence, but might also imply someone is using probability magic, yes?"

I couldn't think of why anyone would do that. "Is that one of the things you can get from a Dumine, or would it need to be wild magic?"

Hugh slowed to let me walk alongside him. "It could be either, but as I think about it I would say a coincidence is more likely. Unless they were following you or the boy - which would seem silly if they just wanted you to briefly cross paths - it would need to be done as a curse, yes?" Seeing the question coming, he added, "A probability effect that lingers on you. But that would mean they would have needed to do so days ago, as the tracker certainly did not have the correct abilities."

"Okay. Yeah. Could it be part of the spell that brought me here?"

He shook his head almost immediately. "No. Perhaps if it was crafted into an item? But it is unlikely. The best explanation is that you were wrong about what you saw, or wrong about how uncommon it was. If you ignore the less convoluted paths, you may end up saying it is fate, or races from other planes using their natural probability magic on you, or the gods interfering, yes?"

"You were going to tell me about other planes!" And now other races, with natural magic? The list of things I wanted to know just kept growing.

"I never agreed to that. Come, Calliope Smith. It is almost second bell. The shops will be closing."

After getting my deposit back for the bowl and spork, I led Hugh to the shop I'd been at - we found it just as two bells rang out. As far as I could tell from Hugh's explanation the bells went up to six and then started over - I must have missed the single bell while I was lost. That means rather than AM and PM there were four groups of time in the day, though it was still twenty-four hours.

Hugh approved of my purchases. He'd spent the time getting some supplies to replace what was lost in the wagon and determining where to get the best mounts, though he said we wouldn't be buying them until the morning. He'd gotten me some toiletries, and added some ugly and uncomfortable-looking underwear to my order after confirming I didn't have any. We headed back up to the room, I convinced Hugh to pay for yet another bath since I'd rolled around in a filthy alley, and then Hugh taught me a card game and we gambled for some strange nuts he'd purchased.

In the morning we packed and headed out before the sun was up. I was disappointed that we were leaving my first fantasy city without me having really gotten a good look at it - there was probably a lifetime of information to learn about this new world and I'd absorbed practically nothing from my time in Yallowsben. We walked down the street a ways before taking a turn towards what seemed to be a whole neighborhood of stables and small fenced-in yards, dirty straw littering the street and a distinctive smell of animal droppings everywhere.

I was eager to get a look at whatever we were going to be riding, but Hugh put a hand on my shoulder and moved to step behind me as he turned to look the way we had come. He was standing in a defensive pose like he was expecting trouble, and while I was in much better clothes for fighting my head still hurt from the thug smashing his massive forehead into it the night before and I was really hoping Hugh was just being paranoid. After a moment I could hear the sound of running getting closer, and then Errod and what I can only describe as a female version of Errod came bounding around the corner. They were loaded down with large backpacks and looked relieved to see us.

"There you are! We missed you at the inn. We're ready."

Hugh and I stared at them, then looked at each other, then turned to stare some more.

Errod's grin faltered, and his sister glared at him. "Errod, you said we were invited."

"We were! I said I had to check on you, and she said to get you and meet them at the inn because we were leaving at dawn."

"She said we meaning all of us, or we meaning the two of them?"

"Well. I don't. She for sure said... uh..."

The girl sighed like she wanted to die of embarrassment. She turned to us and tried to smile, but looked emotionally drained more than anything. "Sorry. Just a misunderstanding. We will... we'll be going now. Good to meet you. Almost meet you. Whatever."

I was an only child, and despite occasionally getting along with some other kids in the group homes I never really felt a connection with anyone. I'm bad at bonding with people, that's a whole thing with me. But I always loved stories about siblings off on their own, or siblings running off on an adventure together, or siblings saving each other from danger. I wanted a sister or brother to be in foster care with me, or to hold my hand when mom yet again managed to leave me at the mall - I even made up a fake sister named Constance for a while. And while I couldn't always muster up actual empathy, the... narrative of it... was compelling. Two siblings, clearly eager to get out of town, looking so pathetic - and I kept picturing the thugs from the night before coming after them. "Hugh. Hugh, can we?"

His eyebrows went all the way up. "Can we pick up strays in each town we pass?"

"Just this once. Just the two."

"Calliope, this will cut into our budget. The mounts, the food, the food for the mounts. And for what? They would do just as well to sort things out here, or bargain with a merchant to travel with them to the next town."

"I'm sure they... hang on. Hey! Errod, and... Errod's sister! What can you do? As a part of a team?"

Errod straightened up and pulled his sword out with a flourish. "I can fight, to defend you from wild animals and highwaymen!"

"No, you can't." I'd heard an echo. I glanced over at his sister and realized we'd both said that at the same time. She'd caught it too, and grinned.

"I'm Katrin. I..." she looked around and, apparently uncomfortable with the number of people watching, came closer before whispering, "I'm teaching myself magic, and can already cast fairly well."

"Hugh. Hugh. Hugh. Yes."

"Calliope..."

I grabbed him by the vest and stared into his eyes. "She can teach me magic, Hugh."

Katrin sidled up next to us, nodding. "I can."

Hugh groaned, and went to procure four mounts.

Moskar turned out to be, if not velociraptors, then still something dinosaur-adjacent. They had heads like battering rams, totally flat plates of bone facing forward, but the rest of them was sleek with brown scales that seamlessly transitioned to feathers on the tail and tiny arms. They were as big as a large horse, but they laid all the way down to let you get on which made it easy to deal with. And they were fast - extremely fast. My eyes were watering as we hurtled across the hills, and while I knew how to deal with a galloping horse the rhythm of these things were completely different which meant it took a bit to get used to.

Errod had the most trouble, bouncing around in a way that I'm sure lowered his chances of ever having children and twice almost falling off his mount entirely. Katrin and I stayed on without issue, but by the time we stopped for lunch we had covered far more ground than a horse would have been able to and both of us were walking a little funny. Only Hugh seemed immune to being saddle sore. Of course, in addition to this new misery I was still dealing with injuries to my head from the night before which meant that the ride had just checked off the final area on my body that hadn't been in pain yet since my arrival. I did my best to stretch and pace around, but after a moment gave up and collapsed onto the grass.

"Errod. C'mere." He stumbled over, and sat next to me as I stared up at the clouds. "Errod, there was a symbol on your vest, a..." I realized I didn't really know how to describe the shape to him, since what I really wanted to say is that it was a V and an H but those letters wouldn't mean anything to him and it was too grassy to draw it in the dirt easily. Plus I'd have to sit up, and that seemed like a lot of work. "Well you know, that symbol. The two things, with the lines coming out at the top on each side? That thing?"

"Oh! Oh, that's my great grandfather's. Or, it was. I mean that he had a vest like that, and when it was too worn to be repaired my dad had a new one made. The emblem is for the knights that served under the Savior of Brinkmar."

I couldn't have heard that right. "Wait. Shit. Brinkmar?"

"Yes?"

"Did he get adopted into the royal family?"

"The Savior? Yeah."

"Had to fight an evil wizard, stop a demon?"

Errod hesitated. "Well. Yes? When I heard the story, from my grandfather, he said there was no demon. Some people say that Tantek was going to summon the same demon that caused the collapse of the old empire, but then others say that's not even real and something else caused the collapse."

"Huh... okay. So then... he defeated the wizard, this Tantek guy, and then left back to where he came from?"

"Um. Maybe?"

Katrin came over and sat on the other side of me. "You've gotten him started on this again. No. The so-called Savior of Brinkmar went to fight Tantek, but then either died or ran away instead. The curses that were supposed to be broken by Tantek's death weren't, and the whole plane was evacuated. Nobody has gone back there for at least fifty years."

Errod scowled at his sister. "Grandpa says that there was a conspiracy, and the Savior is coming back some day to fix everything."

Katrin just shrugged. "Doesn't seem likely. Anyway, why did you want to know?"

See I'm from an entire other planet without magic and... "No reason. The symbol looked familiar. Turns out I read about it, years ago."

The Jake Ross trilogy. Kid gets sucked into a fantasy world, is the chosen one of prophesy that has to destroy the evil wizard Thanatos. He stays for years, having all sorts of adventures and learning to wield the sword of destiny, and then finally defeats the wizard somehow - I didn't remember the third book very well - and returns home only to find himself magically returned to his youth having only been gone a few hours. When I found out that part was basically a ripoff of The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe I felt betrayed.

But now... maybe it wasn't just a story. Being yanked into a fantasy world was clearly a thing that happens. There would have to be some difference in how time passes, but that would actually line up with the Van Halen thing - if Errod's great-grandfather had known this guy it must have been too far back for Van Halen to have been a band yet. So time had to be moving differently on Earth, or something.

I got up, feeling all the sore bits of my body protest, and wandered towards Hugh. Was I a chosen one? Did I want to be a chosen one? Bill had once told me to be the main character of my story, but he had meant just that I needed to take control of my life in general. He for sure wouldn't have approved of magic and riding dinosaurs and being chosen one or whatever. Still, the advice kinda applied. I needed to not just run from one event to another.

What was I even doing? Why was I doing it? "Hugh. I need you to... I need to know what's going on in the world. Who were those soldiers? What's the grand alignment?"

He was watching the moskar drink at the stream, which they did in an extremely undignified way. They'd dunk their whole giant flat-faced head in the water, then point it straight up in the air to let it all drain down their throats. It looked absurd.

"I will answer the last part first, yes? The grand alignment is when the a large number of planes are very close together. In this case, all but two of the thirty-six. It means there are... effects... from the various other planes interacting with this one, as well as much more mana being available. It presents the opportunity for great works of magic that would not be possible at other times, yes?"

He waved at a fly that was attempting to land on his mustache. It remained persistent for a moment, and then dropped out of the air abruptly. "There. Filthy things. Where were we... the soldiers, yes? I have no ideas as to why they came for you. They work for the kingdom of Halenvar, there is a war going on right now because their ruler is a planning something for the grand alignment and does not care who he has to step on to prepare for it. It will be over soon, even his own people are tired of him - he is a religious fanatic. But the war has been difficult and has taken a great toll on the people. The town we just left, for example, would normally have had many more guards patrolling. The crime gets worse as all the best guards are taken for fighting in the war. Also, those with Dumines are most valuable and are taken first but are also the first targeted in combat which means the numbers of those with magic continue to decrease."

Okay, evil kingdom planning evil scheme for big magically significant day. Still pretty standard fantasy shit. "What about General Telen?"

"He is important. Very, very important. The last powerful military leader at Halenvar's disposal. If he were to die, the war would immediately be over."

"So what does it mean that he came in person and ordered that tracker to kill me?"

Hugh nodded. "You are lucky he didn't do it himself, he would have been sure it was done right. It is not so strange to see him, however. His Dumine grants him the ability to teleport, and he is very skilled at it. Many troops have devices that help him go to them even if they would otherwise be too far, which means he is always where he needs to be and always escapes when things are going wrong. Do not concern yourself about it. He believes you dead, and the tracker is gone as well. Everything will be fine, and soon we will be at Theramas where you will be completely safe, yes?"

I wanted to be safe, of course. I'd been trying to avoid my old patterns of sneaking around, breaking into places, getting into fights. The only thing that had kept me from becoming a responsible adult was a lack of money, and my mysterious benefactor had promised me plenty of that. I could be safe, and learn a little magic, and just... live happily ever after.

But I'd heard that one before.

You're back with your mom now, everything is going to be okay. She didn't mean to leave you at that gas station, everything is going to be okay. This foster parent is looking to adopt, and they're going to love you. You'll get your own room that's just yours, for as long as you want. Oh I found you a great place, no more group homes ever again. Hey Callie, I got a sweet apartment lined up with my girlfriend and I just need you to lend me the first month's rent. Right.

Maybe I should just embrace it. A life of adventure, of travel, of fighting and exploring and not having a real home. Isn't that what my whole existence has been preparing me for? Am I not main character material? Okay, so I have some sociopathic tendencies. I have those under control. I almost always remember to be a good person even when I don't actually give a shit about it. If nothing else, I can fake being the hero when I need to. I looked around at my little group, trying to put it into familiar fantasy terms. A level one wizard, a level... zero? Negative one? Fighter, a level fifteen magical barbarian if that was even a thing, and then... a rogue. A sneak-attacking, lock picking, lying rogue. Nobody said the main character had to be a knight or whatever. Fuck it.

"Hugh? I'm going to start learning magic from Katrin if I can. And I'm going to need you to start teaching me how to fight, for real."

I'm not going to assume anything is going to work out or be safe. I don't really want to be a chosen one or whatever, but if I am? Let's do it. It's hero time, even if I'm still not sure what the plot is.