Lament of the Slave

Back on Earth, I used to hate mornings and hate them even now. Who in their right mind would want to get out of a comfy warm bed, knowing full well that there is nothing out there but toil, sweat, and pain. 

On the other hand, my current bed wasn’t so comfy. The mattress, made of who knows what, was too soft for my liking and the blanket too thin and itchy. A problem caused by sleeping on the floor for over a year, covered only by my soft and warm tail. What eventually got me out of bed was not these irksome things. It was Deckard’s promise to teach me some moves today.

“Change of plans, girl,” were his first words when he found me in Labyrinth Square less than an hour later. This rude man, as Zeranyphe put it, just didn’t know how to say hello. A simple ‘good morning’ would be enough.

“So, what’s the plan?” sighing, I asked while struggling with disappointment. I was actually looking forward to being taught how to fight properly.

“City Barracks,” he said, squeezing my shoulder, knowing my frustration. “San found you a mana teacher and would like to introduce you to the group of junior guards you’ll be diving into the Labyrinth with.”

Rayden wanted me to do what? “Today?”

“You just meet them. No action, no labyrinth. I have to teach you something first, so you don’t completely embarrass me down there, girl,” he said, laughing. Was he serious? Did he really care? I didn’t think so. More like he didn’t want me to humiliate myself. Speaking of which, I looked down at my dirty, sweat-stinking clothes and gritted my teeth. Simply put, I looked like a beggar. Not the first impression I wanted to make at this group meeting.

“Come on.” Deckard prompted as he took a step.

“Can we stop by my inn first?” I called after him, catching up.

He laughed again, knowing full well the reason. “Sure, lead the way.”

...

With the streets being less bustling early in the dawn than later in the day, it didn’t take us long to reach the barracks gate, even with that one brief stop. And really, it was a matter of minutes. Just a change of shirt and pants, no bath, no makeup, no combing my mane before I was presentable, relatively speaking. 

To my ease, I didn’t see any Imperial Soldier Uniforms at the gate. There were only two city guards standing guard talking to a couple of terrans.

If I heard right, there was some problem with their landlord and the amount of rent he was making them pay. Not that I meant to eavesdrop. They were simply too noisy for me to overhear. Given their anger, nothing strange. 

Rent regulation, huh? In my view, that was more a matter for the City Hall, so it took me by surprise when the guards let them in. But who was I to judge? Perhaps there was more to it than just the ‘bastard’ landlord wanting more and more coin.

“Ah, look at that. Deckard and Grey,” the clean-shaven guardsman standing guard chimed in when we reached the gate.

I raised an eyebrow along with my ear. Deckard and Grey? What the hell?! 

Surely everyone knew the rude man, especially the city guards where he used to work. How the fuck did he know me, though? Then it hit me, and not just once. I was Deckard’s apprentice, the reason they had to rebuild the barracks. Did the city guard know about Esu, too? He didn’t, right?

“Hi, Edwyn.” Deckard greeted the man, glancing at the other. “Berian.”

What the bloody hell! I was speechless. He says hello to them and doesn’t even say good morning to me? Now I felt offended. 

Channeling my inner calm and determined not to stoop to his level, I gave my regards. “Good morning.”

Both guards returned my nod. “You too,” the other replied. Not the polite greeting I was hoping for, but at least something.

[Guardsman: lvl 145]

I’d say Guardsman Edwyn was your average city guard. The man Deckard called Berian, on the other hand, was a bit stronger, further beyond what the system was willing to show me, and his class wasn’t even guardsman.

[Swordblade: lvl ?]

“For her training, I guess?” the guardsman asked, making sure of the reason for our visit.

Deckard shrugged. “Otherwise, you’d find me in Fallens Cry.”

“You train her there? That makes sense.” The swordblade laughed with sympathy for me.

His fellow guardsman, Edwyn the Clean-Shaven, looked at me and smirked. “You’ll fit right in with the others.”

What was that supposed to mean? “Others? What others?”

“The last batch of junior guards Captain put together,” he added, thus giving rise to doubt in my mind. His tone suggested that this group was different from the rest and not in a good way. Though I didn’t get to find out the details.

Deckard didn't give me a chance. “All right, guys, I need to drop her off. She’s got some learning to do before meeting up with that bunch you mentioned.”

With unspoken questions on the tip of my tongue, they let us in, saying, ‘You know where to go.’ For that matter, I didn’t. To the City Guards Captain’s office? Was she still in the temporary one, or already sitting in her original one in the building that the repairs seemed to have finished on? Hats off to the builders for the speed with which they did it.

It made me quite curious what skills they had, how they helped them in their work. With that, my mind wandered to the florists, their skill sets. Taking care of a flower around here must have  been a lot easier.

However, my dream of meadows in bloom had to come to an end as I noticed Deckard wasn’t taking me to Rayden’s office right away. After all, I've been here in City Barracks too many times already to be fooled. Offices, in general, were not on the lower floors of the barracks. What was there were a couple of training halls, among other things.

He shoved me into one of them with a grin plastered on his face. “Do your best, girl.”

“...” Dumbfounded, I was lost for words. I assumed I would meet Rayden, and she would explain how my training would go. Not that I’m going to be literally thrown into it.

“See you later,” he uttered before disappearing faster than I could stop him. By the time I stumbled out of the hall, there was no sign of him in the corridor we came in.

“What the fuck was that all about?!” I cursed out loud, walking back into the training hall. It almost looked like he was in a hurry. But to where?

“Can you close the door, please,” a woman’s voice reached my ears. I responded not so calmly by yelping and taking a defensive stance. Seriously, I almost pissed myself.

Totally on me, though. I should have figured the teacher would be already in the hall. Better yet, I should have noticed her. No! Thinking about it, it wasn’t my fault. It was that piece of shit Deckard’s. If he...nah, it didn’t matter anymore.

Not crying over spilled milk, I closed the door, preparing to apologize, only to pause when I raised my eyes and looked at my mana teacher.

“Hi, Korra,” said Aspen, standing in the middle of the hall. She tried to sound casual, but there was an edge of tension in her voice. “Can I call you Korra? I’ll understand if not.”

Standing there like a total idiot, I stared at her with my mouth wide open. It took my brain a while to piece together that she was the one who was supposed to teach me mana control. Then, with that realization, a thousand questions and more flooded my mind. How? Who? Why? Followed by the more complex ones. Was this a joke? Why her? Who thought of it? Then some dubious ones. Was the Empire okay with that? Finally, I asked the most important one. Did I actually mind? Seeing her standing there, not in uniform, but in plain clothes and with a collar around her neck, no. I didn’t. I mean, for her to call me by my name.

“I don’t mind. Korra, is fine,” I said after settling my thoughts a bit and calming my racing heart. “What about you?”

Relief flashed across her face. “Verley, Aspen Verley. It’s up to you what you choose to call this slave.” To make a point, she tugged on the collar around her neck. “You can even call me Slave, but I’d rather you didn’t.”

Justice sure worked fast here. Three days since she was brought in unconscious, and she’s already been sentenced. On the other hand, it was a pretty clear case. Unjust enslavement, that’s what I heard it’s called, punished by slavery itself. Tons of witnesses, Rayden on my side, hard to go against. However, if I had to guess, she confessed.

“Our roles reversed eh, Aspen?” I stressed her name. There was no reason to call her by her last name, to give her the courtesy even though she was older. On the other hand, calling her Slave? Never!

Glad, she gave me a sad smile that turned into a smirk. “Will you help me escape too?”

She stopped me with a chuckle when I took a breath to answer. “A joke, it was just a bad joke. All things considered, I’m actually glad how it all turned out. I really am.”

That was hard to believe. She ended up a slave. Damn slave. Was she…?

[Guardswoman: lvl ??]

Okay, a quick check told me that nothing had changed about her class. Still, how could she be content with that? That was beyond me.

“Doesn’t make sense, I totally get you?” she said, chuckling lightly with a quiver in her voice. “I ended up like this because I was willing to do anything to avoid becoming a debt slave. Fuck, I was desperate to avoid this. The sad thing is, now that I have time to think about it, I lived like one even though I didn’t have a slave collar. Shackled by fear, I obeyed orders that went against everything I stood for. Having one around my neck actually lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.”

I could see that. Her bearing, her tone of voice even with the hint of nervousness meeting me as it was, was far more relaxed than I remembered. Still!

“Don’t get me wrong,” she added and gave out a short snort. “Fuck! If I could, I’d avoid ending up like this, but all things considered, I could have ended up worse, much worse.”

That was undoubtedly true. One wrong master and your life turned into hell. So how did she end up with the Castiana City Guards? It couldn’t have been a coincidence. Did Rayden pull some strings to get her?

“How did you end up here?” I could have racked my brain all I wanted when the easiest thing to do was ask.

She paused for a moment at the stupidity of my question, then shrugged it off. “I used to be a city guard, so it was up to our Captain.”

Ah, sure, a military thing.

“She could have sent me to the mines or to the army, where I would most likely end up on the front lines as a beast fodder. But for Rayden to do that, I’d have to really fuck up. So here I am, about to teach you how to control mana properly,” she said with ease in her tone, arms outstretched, gesturing around her. “Of course, it’s up to you.”

Up to me, huh? It wasn’t a question of her skills. I saw what she could do out there in the clearing. What puzzled me was her intentions.

“And you’re okay with that?” I asked back. After all, she ended up a slave because of me.

Aspen gave me the ‘what do you think’ look. “When I heard Rayden was looking for a mage to teach you, I volunteered.”

“Why?” A cautious question brought on by my worry. Was she trying to get back at me?

“I don’t know,” she shrugged and laughed, sounding a little lost. “To make myself feel better? What I did to you...to others, that was some pretty fucked up shit.”

That was it? She thought she had some unpaid debt with me or something? “You don’t owe me a thing. You risked your life in that clearing to sa...”

“So did you,” Aspen argued back. “Plus, I was saving my own ass.”

It made me question whether she was serious or just trying to make me loathe her more. I couldn’t shake the feeling that she thought she didn’t deserve forgiveness.

“What the fuck even happened there? The last thing I remember is fighting Ward. The sonofabitch cut my arm off,” she said, flexing her new arm, not even trying to apologize.

The truth was, I didn’t care for her apology, nor did I intend to forgive her. I was as lost as she was, torn between what to think, what to feel. There was still hate in my heart, but at the same time, I was grateful to her for helping me.

“One of the Mothers healed you,” I remarked, coming to the same conclusion she probably did. It was best to start from square one. Hence the introduction at the beginning.

She paused for a second before scowling. “Damn. I thought Janina was joking. Well, the beast even got rid of my old scars. Bloody shame, I kept them as a reminder.”

I shrugged, not knowing what to say to that. Not counting my beast parts, I only had a few small scars, like the one above my left eyebrow when I fell on the heater as a kid. They weren’t trophies to brag about.

“So...I heard others talking about Esu,” she asked carefully like she really had no idea what happened back there, as if no one filled her in. Of course, it crossed my mind not to say anything to her either. However if I wanted to turn over a new leaf with her, this was the chance. 

That it was a secret? Aspen was a slave now and I was pretty sure Rayden made certain she didn’t spill the beans anywhere, or she wouldn’t be here with me.

What’s more, the longer I thought about it, the more I had this strange urge. I wanted to tell her about my adventure, to brag and boast. Hard to do with her standing in the middle of the hall and me still at the door. It was caution and perhaps a bit of distrust that kept me there at first. The confusion then prevented me from shortening the distance or leaving in disgust.

Looking at Aspen, waiting for my reaction, I sighed inwardly. Was that Rayden’s intention, the reason Deckard literally pushed me in here and ran away, some kind of life lesson? What the hell were they trying to tell me, then? That the world wasn’t just black and white. Of course, it wasn’t. 

Whatever their reason was, there was no point in thinking so hard about it. Instead, I walked up to Aspen, unable to help some jitters, and gave her a grin. “Would you believe Tate killed one of the Mossbears himself?”

Relief flashed across her face before a look of disbelief spread over it. “Tate, that fool?”

I smirked, emphasizing my nod with my ears. “A short while after you fell...”

So I began the account of the events that took place in Esulmor once again, and this time I had fun sharing it with another. It was thrilling talking about it to someone who was actually there, fought on the same side. Even her praise, though not necessary, was far more meaningful to me.

“You put that ring to more use than I expected.” Aspen nodded at the union ring on my left hand.

I touched it, twirled it around my finger, and looked up. “Do you want it back?” 

“Fuck, no.” she sneered. “What would I do with one?”

Ah, right. Deckard had the other one.

“Besides, they would have confiscated them anyway like the rest of my stuff. So, keep it.” She gestured she didn’t mind, then shook her head. “I still can’t get my head around the fact that you’re Deckard’s apprentice. Rutledge wouldn’t have touched you if you were one before, and Ward would have given it more thought.”

That was likely true, but... “If I hadn’t been kidnapped, I might never have met him.” It wasn’t my attempt to justify her actions, just something I realized and made me frown upon my twisted fate.

“That’s one way to look at it,” she said with a nod.

We talked a little bit longer, and before we knew it, an hour without any training had passed. With that realization, panic took hold of me at first. After all, the hour of training under Deckard’s coaching really showed. Mana control was different, though. It couldn’t be brute forced, like splits or the movement of my wings.

If I had to compare it to anything, it would be breathing techniques. Like those, it required patience, and the results were not apparent in a matter of hours. To try it Deckard’s way would be to risk Mana Burnout, a precarious condition where your body has no mana and is temporarily unable to create it. Rather, what it created, it burned immediately. Hence the name. If your body needed mana to function like mine, you were screwed. 

Sure enough, mana potions came to my mind, and they did exist. Not the solution, though. Your body will burn any mana in that state. It is more likely to make your condition last longer, like adding fuel to the fire. The best way was just to wait it out.

Or, of course, avoid it altogether. That’s why Aspen brought it to my attention.

The extreme of the extreme was what she did back there, Life Burnout. With no mana to use, she literally burst open her cells and squeezed the mana-bearing layer of them for every ounce of mana they had left. Simply put, she was burning her life instead of mana. If it weren’t for Mother Mossbear, she most likely wouldn’t have survived, or at the very least, taken weeks, if not months, to get better.

All of which led me to question why mages didn’t use ambient mana.